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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Susan47 on March 1, 2005, at 12:14:14
Now,
more than ever.
Posted by 10derHeart on March 1, 2005, at 23:39:08
In reply to I Love You, posted by Susan47 on March 1, 2005, at 12:14:14
Yes.
Yes.susan....I....
Is is possible to understand someone else's simple words...too well? <sigh>
Posted by Susan47 on March 2, 2005, at 11:45:42
In reply to Re: I Love You » Susan47, posted by 10derHeart on March 1, 2005, at 23:39:08
Yes. The heart speaks more than the mind ever can; it's more evolved, but we've learned to squash it to survive the society we've built. ((10derheart))
Posted by Susan47 on March 2, 2005, at 19:43:01
In reply to Re: I Love You, posted by Susan47 on March 2, 2005, at 11:45:42
You're afraid.
But not of me,
Of her.
Of what you think she could do to you
if you made her really angry
And vengeful
Because she's smart
And in control
And when she's not,
life is unbearable.And she knows something about you.
Something you're not proud of.
Something you think you can't be forgiven for.
But you can, and you have been.
She just can't let go of her fear.
It's her fear that drives her.
It's huge.
Posted by Susan47 on March 2, 2005, at 20:11:14
In reply to I Love You, posted by Susan47 on March 1, 2005, at 12:14:14
(Don't read this if really poor writing insults you)
How many people have been touched by your voice?
How many have looked into your eyes
and, seeing themselves reflected,
every one and the same,
had new life brought to their spirit.
Desire.
To be a whole human.
To be like you. You, perfect
but not
Beautiful, and
beautifully flawed.(ilove you)
Posted by Susan47 on March 3, 2005, at 9:59:42
In reply to Re: I Love You, posted by Susan47 on March 2, 2005, at 20:11:14
Loving the wrong way is so painful.
Loving what you can never have.
Wanting what's impossible.
Learning not to want it quite so much,
teaching myself, in tiny little steps,
every day a new beginning,
a new hope that this day
will be different
than the one before.
Posted by Susan47 on March 3, 2005, at 15:21:03
In reply to Re: I Love You, posted by Susan47 on March 3, 2005, at 9:59:42
Why can't I release myself?
How long will this take?
Others have taken months...
I've lost track which year this is.
Two? Is this year two?
Of this agony? This longing?
This desire to be all for myself
while being reflected by You.
What a strange word "you" is.
It isn't really a word at all.
It's more a honeyed sound from deep inside the throat.
Deep inside me. You.
Posted by Susan47 on March 3, 2005, at 16:33:13
In reply to Re: I Love You, posted by Susan47 on March 3, 2005, at 15:21:03
Today I wanted to come down to your office.
I wanted to sit there and listen to your voice being kind to others. Liking people. Enjoying them, enjoying your life.
I want to enjoy my life, too. People look at me, they like me, men smile at me and want to connect with me. And I have learned how to not shy away from them, and I've learned how to sustain a connection, and my sudden openness and availability, although still limited, makes me attractive to them, and they want more of me, but they don't know how to ask. Because we have so little in common, still. There's still so much for me to do, to be available. And I thank you, here, because this way you have the choice. There are no letters, nothing you need to read, nothing you need to listen to, nothing at all.
Posted by Susan47 on March 3, 2005, at 18:58:46
In reply to Why Can't I STOP, posted by Susan47 on March 3, 2005, at 16:33:13
Oh sh*t. I just realize how that sounds. oh sh*t oh sh*t oh sh*t oh sh*t of COURSE. Funny how I can post something in one frame of mind and not understand or see that it can be read in different ways, with differing meanings. It looks like I just offered myself up, just offer, Susan.. Which is not At All what I meant, and now I'm too embarrassed to post the real meaning, because I tend to ramble when I post sometimes and the feelings are really deep, really intense, so of course most people just aren't like that and they don't understand how you could survive that kind of feeling and still be okay with it. But I can. Feeling, not matter what any f*cked up therapists may think, feelings are valuable and take us to places worth visiting.
Posted by Susan47 on March 4, 2005, at 0:31:29
In reply to Why Can't I STOP, posted by Susan47 on March 3, 2005, at 16:33:13
Scooped out.Alone.
Posted by Susan47 on March 4, 2005, at 7:08:18
In reply to Hollow., posted by Susan47 on March 4, 2005, at 0:31:29
Well, I'm sorry about that.
You man, you.
You unbelievably snotty
little man.
Posted by Susan47 on March 4, 2005, at 13:45:05
In reply to Concept, posted by Susan47 on March 2, 2005, at 19:43:01
Wow oh wow I didn't know it, when I wrote that I didn't know it was me I was talking about, I knew it made no sense in the context of his SO, but I didn't recognize that every word, every nuance in the text, is all about me, deep me.
This is the end of the thread.
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