![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 36. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by alexandra_k on February 17, 2005, at 1:58:18
One day a woman had a baby. And it cried and it cried and it cried. So she hit it over the head with a spanner. Maybe the baby was dead. Maybe the baby was crazy. But it never cried again.
The only time I walked out on a t was when she told me that humans were social beings. No. I am not a social being. I am not. What is the point of being a social being when nobody wants you around? What kind of cruel god is responsible for this?
I used to faint in church. Fairly unremarkable and somewhat expected. But not the screaming. That was not okay. After the exorcisms failed they asked me to leave volountarily. My councellor told me that everybody knew I was only going to church to see XXX anyway. And he and his wife most definately did not want to see me.
Posted by saw on February 17, 2005, at 4:20:12
In reply to *, posted by alexandra_k on February 17, 2005, at 1:58:18
Are you ok hun? This post is frightening to me.
Sabrina
Posted by Jai Narayan on February 17, 2005, at 7:25:24
In reply to *, posted by alexandra_k on February 17, 2005, at 1:58:18
Alex, does that baby represent you?
you have gone thorugh a lot of painful situations.
I am here to listen.
you know you have my support.
Ja*
Posted by alexandra_k on February 17, 2005, at 14:48:10
In reply to Re: * Trigger? » alexandra_k, posted by saw on February 17, 2005, at 4:20:12
Posted by Damos on February 17, 2005, at 15:02:23
In reply to *, posted by alexandra_k on February 17, 2005, at 1:58:18
Joyzus!!!!!!!! That was a heavy bit of breakfast reading, but thank-you for sharing it. You okay mate??????? You can babblemail me if you want, and/or if you're just across the creek we could always talk sometime if you'd like. Anyway, the offer's there.
Go with love kiddo.
Posted by alexandra_k on February 17, 2005, at 18:40:25
In reply to *, posted by alexandra_k on February 17, 2005, at 1:58:18
What kind of cruel god is responsible for this?
A certain fallen angel is supposed to be fairly reliable with bargains
So long as souls are involved
I didn't see what good mine was doing me
So I swapped it for a
Fallen angel
Companion
Familiar
What you will.
She was supposed to talk to me.
But all she did was scream
Through the thick fog
She would open my mouth
And scream
The holy spirit would not touch me.
And one day
When I was in my closet
Fending off the screaming
He came to me
Silenced her
And spoke:
He was not god
He was not the devil
And he showed me
I was neither good nor evil.
He was neither good nor evil.
I do not fear I'm evil anymore
Posted by Jai Narayan on February 17, 2005, at 19:01:48
In reply to Re: *, posted by alexandra_k on February 17, 2005, at 18:40:25
wow,
what a powerful poem.
my god.
is this from your life?
this sounds like a survivor poem.I too have survived.
Ja*
Posted by alexandra_k on February 17, 2005, at 19:31:14
In reply to Alex, posted by Jai Narayan on February 17, 2005, at 19:01:48
Thanks everyone.
Saw, Damos, Jai, Susan.
I am okay.
Just a form of venting.
The spanner bit was metaphoric.
Sorry - I should have posted a trigger warning.
Posted by Damos on February 17, 2005, at 19:59:31
In reply to Re: *, posted by alexandra_k on February 17, 2005, at 18:40:25
For I am not worthy to be in the presence of one so truly gifted (or should I say tortured?). Your writing is amazing, just simply amazing.
BTW, you did have me worried there and the offer's always there.
- The Blunder from Down Under =0)
Posted by alexandra_k on February 17, 2005, at 20:03:15
In reply to Re: * I face NZ and pray, posted by Damos on February 17, 2005, at 19:59:31
Ugh. Please don't pray for me, okay??? ;-)
Thanks.
I mean, thanks for your kind words. They are appreciated.
I am okay. Just venting I guess.
> - The Blunder from Down Under =0)
Heh heh you are funny :-)
Posted by alexandra_k on February 17, 2005, at 20:13:43
In reply to Re: *, posted by alexandra_k on February 17, 2005, at 18:40:25
I don't know how the empty bottles got in there.
Stacked to the ceiling on the shelf in my closet.
Piled part way up the wall from the floor of my closet.
The odour of cheap wine seeping through
Their paper bags.They would clunk as I climbed up on top of them
But it was a refuge from the whanau (family) meeting.
Singing
through the ceiling
They were standing on my head singing
Loud
Religious songs
And the screaming was bad.
The door pulled open from the outside
There I am
Perched on the mound of bottles.
I didn't fit in too good in the home.
Posted by Damos on February 17, 2005, at 20:30:06
In reply to Re: * I face NZ and pray » Damos, posted by alexandra_k on February 17, 2005, at 20:03:15
Mate, just a figure of speech. Would be too afraid of being struck by lightening to even attempt it =0). I think you could say I'm pretty much a religion free zone.
I'm funny alright - in a wrap around white coat kinda way!
Posted by alexandra_k on February 17, 2005, at 20:35:15
In reply to Re: * I face NZ and pray, posted by Damos on February 17, 2005, at 20:30:06
Yeah, good old Australasian black humour, eh? Though maybe it isn't just an Australasian thing...
Posted by Toph on February 22, 2005, at 18:19:42
In reply to *, posted by alexandra_k on February 17, 2005, at 1:58:18
I don't visit this board much anymore. So, sorry if this is not timely. I won't try to analyze the powerful words but I am struck by this sense that I get from you. I can't decide which side of you impresses me more, the rational alex with the well tuned intellect and the fastidiously organized closet of a mind or the emotive alex with her complexity of pain and compassion, passionate beliefs and humorous wit, courageous interventions and girlish regressions. Its also amzing how well both alexes live with each other harmoneously. Are you as well adjusted, your current and former demons notwithstanding, as you appear to be?
Toph
Posted by alexandra_k on February 22, 2005, at 23:24:46
In reply to Re: * » alexandra_k, posted by Toph on February 22, 2005, at 18:19:42
> I don't visit this board much anymore.
How come??
>So, sorry if this is not timely.
Better late than never ;-)
Thanks Toph. Really. That was a really nice thing to say. I don't think anyone has ever said anything so nice to me before. It has been a long and hard day and now you made me cry. Bless you.
>Are you as well adjusted, your current and former demons notwithstanding, as you appear to be?
Oh hell no. I am most severely f*cked up Toph. Really. Really and truely.
Posted by Toph on March 1, 2005, at 10:38:48
In reply to Re: * » Toph, posted by alexandra_k on February 22, 2005, at 23:24:46
> > I don't visit this board much anymore.
>
> How come??
>
Because every time I try to contibute something, I end up feeling foolish and it takes weeks before it goes away.> >So, sorry if this is not timely.
>
> Better late than never ;-)Here I ask you a very personal question and the next day go on vacation. How's that for timing?
>
> ...I don't think anyone has ever said anything so nice to me before...I don't believe that for a second. I'm certain that you are one of the most respected and most well-liked people here.
>
> >Are you as well adjusted, your current and former demons notwithstanding, as you appear to be?
>
> Oh hell no. I am most severely f*cked up Toph. Really. Really and truely.
>
F*cked up in a good way, I'm sure. Most of the best people I know are f*cked up. And some of the rest are just plain f*ckers.
Posted by Susan47 on March 1, 2005, at 11:02:56
In reply to Re: * » Toph, posted by alexandra_k on February 22, 2005, at 23:24:46
IMO the most severely f*cked up people are the ones who seem to think the deepest. You're beautiful, Alex.
Posted by Susan47 on March 1, 2005, at 11:05:11
In reply to Re: * ! » alexandra_k, posted by Toph on March 1, 2005, at 10:38:48
I really wish you'd quit beating up on yourself, Toph. You're lovely, absolutely lovely. (((Toph))) Let yourself go, you're too frightened, you're beautiful with a deep deep soul and you just need to let all the beauty and the angst express itself, don't be scared. Don't care what anyone thinks about your expressions. Just be. Honey. Mwah.
See, now I feel stupid. Shut up, Susan.
Posted by Toph on March 1, 2005, at 12:57:57
In reply to Re: * ! » Toph, posted by Susan47 on March 1, 2005, at 11:05:11
Do you owe me money or something, susan?
Posted by alexandra_k on March 1, 2005, at 15:36:24
In reply to Re: * ! » alexandra_k, posted by Toph on March 1, 2005, at 10:38:48
> Because every time I try to contibute something, I end up feeling foolish and it takes weeks before it goes away.
Oh Toph. You are appreciated. Please come back to us over on Writing...
> Here I ask you a very personal question and the next day go on vacation. How's that for timing?Did you have a good vacation.
Enough with the complements already!
I do not take them well...> F*cked up in a good way, I'm sure.
Heh heh, I try to be ;-)
>Most of the best people I know are f*cked up. And some of the rest are just plain f*ckers.
:-)
Posted by Susan47 on March 1, 2005, at 15:36:38
In reply to Re: * ! » Susan47, posted by Toph on March 1, 2005, at 12:57:57
Quit that, you're being suspicious.. Susan meant every word. :-)
Posted by alexandra_k on March 1, 2005, at 15:36:55
In reply to Re: * » alexandra_k, posted by Susan47 on March 1, 2005, at 11:02:56
I think you are beautiful too Susan.
You are a deep well...
Posted by alexandra_k on March 1, 2005, at 15:37:36
In reply to Re: * ! » Susan47, posted by Toph on March 1, 2005, at 12:57:57
Posted by Toph on March 1, 2005, at 16:49:43
In reply to Re: * ! » Toph, posted by alexandra_k on March 1, 2005, at 15:36:24
>
> Did you have a good vacation?
>Thank you for asking.(So this won't get booted off PBW):
Once upon a time, I went skiing with my son, Matthew because he thinks we don't care about him anymore. He has been kind of narcissistic which is kind of like describing your average young male. I was always frustrated with him not calling home, forgeting birthdays, not ever saying thank you, never calling his sisters at college, being so defensive about any criticism, not appreciating his step-mother who raised him as if he were his own, the repetitive lying, even confronted with irrefutable proof,his dishonesty with girlfriends, stuff like that. I would feel ashamed that I didn't always like my own son.
So, I fly to Denver for 4 days of skiing with Matthew hoping for some bonding. It was mostly a good experience. Mainly I learned a lot about my son that I should have know but had to witness first hand. He is an incredibly independent young man. He lives with 5 other guys whom he proudly introduced me to. They are his age and graduating soon. (Matthew had to work a couple years to establis Colorado residency)
I have to quit now I now because I have 2 minutes left on my library computer ttime I'll sign on again and finish
Posted by Toph on March 1, 2005, at 17:15:10
In reply to Re: * !, posted by Toph on March 1, 2005, at 16:49:43
>
> >
> > Did you have a good vacation?
> >
>
> Thank you for asking.(So this won't get booted off PBW):
>
> Once upon a time, I went skiing with my son, Matthew because he thinks we don't care about him anymore. He has been kind of narcissistic which is kind of like describing your average young male. I was always frustrated with him not calling home, forgeting birthdays, not ever saying thank you, never calling his sisters at college, being so defensive about any criticism, not appreciating his step-mother who raised him as if he were his own, the repetitive lying, even confronted with irrefutable proof,his dishonesty with girlfriends, stuff like that. I would feel ashamed that I didn't always like my own son.
>
> So, I fly to Denver for 4 days of skiing with Matthew hoping for some bonding. It was mostly a good experience. Mainly I learned a lot about my son that I should have know but had to witness first hand. He is an incredibly independent young man. He lives with 5 other guys whom he proudly introduced me to. They are his age and graduating soon. (Matthew had to work a couple years to establis Colorado residency)
>
By becoming a Coloradan it saves $20,000 off out-of-state tuition. Anyway, we went to the bar where he is a bartender and all these people came up to Matthew and he introduced me to them all. We drank beer, played darts, told bad jokes, had fun. Drinking with your kid for the first time instead of yelling at him for having a party when you are away is kind of cool, actually.The next day we head up to Breckenridge staying at a friend's condo for $100/night (normally would have cost triple that). I rent skis and we head up to the top of the mountain. I'm pretty good but I make GS turns while my son goes right down the fall line making rapid turns like he's a hula girl or something. I have to stop 5 or 6 times because they have some sort of oxygen shortage in Colorado. Also my thighs are burning like Atlas. So Matthew (I call him Budweiser or Bud for short, Budweiser when he was at the plate batting and all the mothers thought I named my son after a beer) would stop periodically out of pity and just when I'd catch up to him the bastard would take off again (after calling me an old f*rt or something else equally endearing). On the chair lift we'd argue who was better - I'd say that technically I was a better skier and he'd basically say that I ski like a girl. So I'd say tell that to Picabo Steaks and he'd say so you're telling me you are worse than a girl. That kind of bonding.
I know this is kind of disjointed and probably more than you wanted to know anyway, but I haven't really gotten to the good part yet and I've got to go pick up my wife from work so I'll finish later if you don't mind. This could be days from now cause she hates it when I'm on the computer at home. Bye
Go forward in thread:
Psycho-Babble Writing | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.