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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on February 11, 2005, at 16:30:54
Hi Susan ; )
Posted by Susan47 on February 11, 2005, at 16:36:48
In reply to *Trigger* A twisted, filthy, perverted poem., posted by Gabbi-x-2 on February 11, 2005, at 16:30:54
Hi. Here goes, (you weren't expecting this, were you?)
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on February 11, 2005, at 16:39:07
In reply to Re: *Trigger* A twisted, filthy, perverted poem., posted by Susan47 on February 11, 2005, at 16:36:48
Posted by Susan47 on February 11, 2005, at 16:42:44
In reply to Re: *Trigger* A twisted, filthy, perverted poem., posted by Susan47 on February 11, 2005, at 16:36:48
I have faint hope that one day, you will redeem me.
You will tell me it wasn't as bad as I imagined.
You will tell me that I'm not the dragon I am,
You will tell me that I did not chew you up
and spit you out,
You will tell me ... I hear your voice,
sometimes, speaking to me.
Telling me things, my dear, that you never said.
Your voice, your mouth moves, yes and your eyes,
they look directly into mine,
pupil to pupil.
You tell me why I'm behaving the way I am.
You tell me all the reasons things
happened the way they did.
Your soul knows, my dear, what your head does not.
Posted by Susan47 on February 14, 2005, at 0:44:05
In reply to Faint Hope, posted by Susan47 on February 11, 2005, at 16:42:44
Ah hah. The "You" is Me.
Posted by Susan47 on February 15, 2005, at 10:28:11
In reply to Re: Faint Hope, posted by Susan47 on February 14, 2005, at 0:44:05
By the vision of a very sexy man walking through a library. He knows he's sexy. He's looking slightly bemused about something. His eyes are on fire though, belying the bemused look on his face. He walks like a panther. He's incredibly sexy. He knows it. He uses it. He enjoys himself. He does not enjoy knowing his power can hurt. Neither do I. I have that power too. I don't know what to do with it.
Posted by Susan47 on February 15, 2005, at 17:55:17
In reply to I'm Haunted, posted by Susan47 on February 15, 2005, at 10:28:11
who had the theory that you can be afraid of sex because it's a fear of losing yourself? That's me. I think he would've loved me, especially my knowledge of myself. now how to work on that, that fear that an orgasm with someone other than myself, allowing another person to lead me to orgasm, and be with me there ... and not being swallowed up, or dying. Wow. Susan, you rock. Because you know. Just never forget. Don't forget what's happening right now, once again it's all important self-knowledge, it's stuff you want to change.
Find yourself that partner, that person. You have my permission. you can let go now.
Posted by Susan47 on February 15, 2005, at 17:56:22
In reply to Was it Freud?, posted by Susan47 on February 15, 2005, at 17:55:17
But I'm going to miss you so terribly. I'll miss you so much, I don't know how to do that fully, yet. Please be patient, just a little longer ... thank you, Dr. C.
Posted by alexandra_k on February 15, 2005, at 21:49:14
In reply to Was it Freud?, posted by Susan47 on February 15, 2005, at 17:55:17
I understand that one Susan.
I figured out thats why I don't either.
Because I never really did love my 'arrangement' and I didn't want to give him all of me.
I wanted to hold part of me back
For that special someone.
I didn't see that at the time.
But I think that is it
That is it.
I am proud of myself :-)
Posted by Susan47 on February 15, 2005, at 23:22:37
In reply to Re: Was it Freud? » Susan47, posted by alexandra_k on February 15, 2005, at 21:49:14
Good. I'm so happy you responded to that post, Alexandra, because I didn't think I could possibly be the only one and I was feeling foolish for being honest and wondering if others would think I was wrong but knowing in my heart that I was RIGHT, I know and that is a big problem, it's not something you can just wish to be better and it's done. It's not like that. This is a huge, HUGE Fear and it's horrible to have, and I don't want it to be that way, I have never, okay and this is embarrassing but the fact is simply that I have okay only once, really, got soooo close to the O with anybody. By myself, no problem. With somebody else? It's not even that it's too much bother or anything because damn it I'm Good at sex, I rock, but how much can you really rock if you can't get off? I don't know, I think I'm totally abnormal there's no way and it just never seemed like it would be worth the bother to fix this, because I always had myself, right, but I think quite honestly, Alexandra, that like you, I just never have had the right person. I know that. Actually, I have always had so much anxiety over sex that I never gave myself a chance or a choice to love anybody, any guy, ever, nor really get to know him either, or him me. So many silly men who thought they knew me, and not one of them ever ever did. It's funny, really. I don't think, honestly, and I hope no men read this because they'll get all huffy and upset, but quite honestly, Alexandra, I don't think men have it. They're a bit shallow, really.
Posted by Susan47 on February 15, 2005, at 23:55:53
In reply to Re: Was it Freud? » alexandra_k, posted by Susan47 on February 15, 2005, at 23:22:37
Except for Broken, below. He might have it. He sounds like someone who might.
Posted by alexandra_k on February 16, 2005, at 4:22:46
In reply to Re: Was it Freud? » alexandra_k, posted by Susan47 on February 15, 2005, at 23:22:37
> I didn't think I could possibly be the only one and I was feeling foolish for being honest and wondering if others would think I was wrong but knowing in my heart that I was RIGHT, I know and that is a big problem, it's not something you can just wish to be better and it's done.
I think a fair few women might get this Susan. I agree that it isn't something you can just wish to be better.
> This is a huge, HUGE Fear and it's horrible to have, and I don't want it to be that way
Maybe you could talk about this with your t? About what you are afraid of?
> I think quite honestly, Alexandra, that like you, I just never have had the right person. I know that.
Yeah. Though part of me wonders whether it may come up as an issue for me even then...
>Actually, I have always had so much anxiety over sex that I never gave myself a chance or a choice to love anybody, any guy, ever, nor really get to know him either, or him me.
Hmm. Thats worth talking about.
Glad to know I am not alone in this either.
Thanks.
Posted by Susan47 on February 17, 2005, at 16:39:21
In reply to Faint Hope, posted by Susan47 on February 11, 2005, at 16:42:44
And once again, You are talking to me,
And I have to tell you that Insanity
is much a kinder place
than the one I have to go to now.
My place is shame.
It is a place about all the
black hearts of men
The blackness I was afraid of
Was Me.And now, to find the reconciliation.
The life that must be lived
in spite of the crime.
You said once, I remember it now,
that I was afraid I'd drive you crazy.
Do you remember that?
I just did.
I just did, I just did, maybe
maybe oh maybe it's not too late.
Maybe You Knew, all along?
This is the end of the thread.
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