Psycho-Babble Writing Thread 376154

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poem...Backwards

Posted by malthus on August 10, 2004, at 20:03:31

Backwards
is where she said he'd be
I thought:
"But she doesn't even know me!"

Calm and cool
is how he said it to me
I thought:
"But she doesn't even know me!"

With her psychology degree
And her judgement of me
I thought:
"But she doesn't even know me!"

Now he wants a family
Backwards is where she said he'd be
I thought:
"But she doesn't even know me!"

Tub full of water
Knife in my hand
Jar full of pills
Never never land.

I wonder what she'd think of me
If she really knew me...

Re: poem...Backwards » malthus

Posted by Atticus on August 11, 2004, at 8:37:26

In reply to poem...Backwards, posted by malthus on August 10, 2004, at 20:03:31

I can really relate to what you describe: the sense of having a dark, secret, shadow-self -- one that others rarely or never see, either due to efforts to conceal it or other peoples' inability to perceive it. If you've read enough of the post-1996 story cycle in my poems posted here, you know that most of my friends knew about my illness, but my family and co-workers were kept blissfully ignorant through my own efforts. I used to visualize the illness as this enormous, midnight-black wolf with blazing red eyes stalking restlessly around in my head. I would sometimes wonder, if people who didn't know about the illness looked closely enough into my eyes, whether they'd glimpse the wolf. Atticus

Re: poem...Backwards

Posted by malthus on August 11, 2004, at 9:42:52

In reply to Re: poem...Backwards » malthus, posted by Atticus on August 11, 2004, at 8:37:26

I do think others sense the wolf you describe though it appears to be well hidden from them. Some take advantage of it, others run from it and most people are indifferent to it. There seem to be so few of us who openly contend with it.

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