![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 305 to 329 of 495. Go back in thread:
Posted by alexandra_k on October 26, 2014, at 22:28:21
In reply to Re: nesting, posted by alexandra_k on October 26, 2014, at 21:18:52
actually, i don't need a scanner. i think i've only scanned 4 or 5 things in my life and i can use a scanner in the uni or the public library. i do need a printer, though. for printing off all those lecture notes... not sure why that didn't properly occur to me before... can get a monochrome laser one for about the same cost as replacement toner ahaha. printer ink... about the most expensive liquid in the world...
(depending on pressure and temperature etc etc ahaha)
overkill?
http://www.razerzone.com/gaming-mice/razer-naga
i swear i saw something about a free cape...
Posted by alexandra_k on October 26, 2014, at 22:33:22
In reply to Re: nesting, posted by alexandra_k on October 26, 2014, at 22:28:21
it is like a barbell, you see. i think... i haven't used a mouse since i moved to laptops... they really seem to have come a long way...
Posted by alexandra_k on October 27, 2014, at 14:43:16
In reply to Re: nesting, posted by alexandra_k on October 26, 2014, at 22:33:22
so... there is this wrapper called wineskin... that promises to wrap windows stuff (e.g., games) so that you can play them on mac OS.
ooooooh.
i have a hankering for morrowwind... which a lot of people seem to have got to run okay. and of course dun dun dun dun... might and magic: day of the destroyer.
kinda scared they won't work...
they just don't make games like they used to.
Posted by alexandra_k on October 27, 2014, at 23:11:42
In reply to Re: nesting, posted by alexandra_k on October 27, 2014, at 14:43:16
and so... i probably won't.
it is a very weird thing, but watching playthroughs on youtube seems to take care of the hankering to play computer games. odd, huh.
getting back into my books... did some reading about kidneys in the comparative animal biology book... and read a little thermodynamics from the physics book (which isn't anywhere near so nice). which is of course part of the problem.
i don't like thermodynamics... because it tells me that the world will never be a better place for having had me in it. i mean... i suppose i could help in some small localised sense... but overall... taking more and more and more and more and more into account... overall... i make things worse. i don't like physics anymore.
Posted by alexandra_k on October 28, 2014, at 19:09:30
In reply to Re: nesting, posted by alexandra_k on October 27, 2014, at 23:11:42
So I just had a nice chat with my mother. which was... nice. It really does seem to depend on what kind of a mood both of us are in. I caught her in the middle of squashing snails in the garden, which is a thing she loves to do, so it was a nice conversation, yeah.
I've been thinking some more about books. After looking into printers and printing costs. Seeing how much variation in price there is in different kinds of paper. Coming to realise that that is one of the things that is nice about my newest books... Glossy white paper yeah. Squeaky under the fingers. High resolution printing. Beautiful colors... I don't need any of that for printing off powerpoint notes... But I see that that is why 700+ double sided books are expensive... And then there is the hardback and the binding...
Something that pisses me off no end is how education people like to go on about 'different learning styles'... And while I do think that there is something legitimate to it I also think that often the notion is bandied about in a way that doesn't do anyone any favors. E.g., Doing a brain storm and getting a bunch of sentences... Throwing them up on the board all disorganised... Then drawing circles around them and strings like balloons really isn't doing anything for the 'visual learners'.
My chemistry friend last semester... I was telling her about how I was writing out the chemistry concepts... And learning to draw pictures. Because past years exams included questions like 'draw a face centered packing cubic unit cell'. She was like... 'Oh, I don't learn like that'. She'd been told that because of her ethnicity she was a verbal (as in talking to people) learner. Unfortunately... No amount of talking to people is going to prepare her for drawing a face centered packing cubit unit cell. That situation pissed me off because... Telling her that she was a verbal learner was preventing her from learning the information that she was going to be assessed on. It was... Harming her. Not helping her.
I got to thinking some more about books... I have really started reading the A&P book for next year and it is super-dense, yeah. Not very many wasted words at all. But the more you go over it... The more sense it makes and the more it sinks in. First reading... Most of it goes straight over, yeah. Second reading... Find myself remembering some of the key words... Third reading... More key words... Covering up parts... Of text... Of pictures... Remembering them. It is hard how a lot of the figures / tables etc referred to in the text involve a lot of page flipping to find... But it is hardest on the first reading when you don't have a mental image of the figure / table referred to. As you start to learn it... It is actually good that you don't use the physical copy so much as a crutch...
Beautiful books... Outlines to prime you of important concepts... Key words in bold... Succint... To the point... No wasted words. Summary. Questions to help you think about what you have learned. The very best teaching there is... Really... It is just wonderful...
I think people are too quick to write off books as being for 'verbal learners'. Which is crap... Because education people have started banding about 'verbal learners' as a label for people who like to crap about in groups... Lots of chatter... Someone who can't shut their pie hole for 5 minutes gets to be called a 'verbal learner' which has... Nothing to do with books, seems to me.
Reading books out loud to yourself... Or trying to recall contents outloud to yourself... Seems to be to be verbal learning. Saying and hearing. There is something about those neural pathways... But there is something about visual information, too... Building a mental picture of the bones and how they fit together... Or of the flow of blood through the heart or the kidneys... Writing and drawing... Kinesthetic... From eyes to hand or from ears to hand or whatever... Different neural circuits... The more the merrier... Slightly different parts of the elephant or something...
I like psychology very much for its stuff on learning. Education... Not to much. What do education people know about learning ffs? You don't typically end up in the school of education if you did well in science... I don't understand why the science people who care about teaching their subject look to Education... Does science really scorn psychology that much?????
I get tired of mistakes... In lecture notes and the like. I think they think that they are teaching people to think. Because people wouldn't think otherwise. It gets me feeling mad and resentful and I don't want to play their stupid little game. That is how I feel about that. If they can't be bothered fixing up their mistakes over however many years of teaching... If they don't can't respect their subject / their students that much... Why should I waste my time for them. Because that is what it is... I try the problem... As best I can... Which takes time. Then I check the answer... And if I got the problem right... I think I got the problem wrong. I could spend a couple of hours trying to figure where I'm going wrong... What am I doing wrong. I could even work myself up into some rationalisation to get the (wrong) answer they got. Congradulations... You just taught me how to do the problem wrong. Thanks so much for that. Not.
Perhaps they should try that teaching strategy on student doctors. Give them a bunch of wrong information about symptoms or drug dosages. You know, to encourage them to think about what they are doing and to learn. Give those doctors to the people who think that is a legitimate learning strategy.
FFs people. FFS
Posted by alexandra_k on October 28, 2014, at 19:36:38
In reply to Re: books, posted by alexandra_k on October 28, 2014, at 19:09:30
You know...
English Literature classes don't start out being all apologetic that you have to read the same book that you studied in school all over again. You don't start out studying Hamlet or Pride and Prejudice with apologies that you have probably read the book before so it is probably boring for you or whatever.
Only science does that.
To be fair... There is perhaps more variation in teaching. Different things one can draw out or focus on. One of the things I loved about tutoring was how we used to have to attend lectures... I would learn so much attending the lectures... Different lecturers focus on slightly different things and I'd get to think about things in slightly different ways. I loved reading introductory textbooks, too. For the same reason. Philosophy at it's best... Trying to make things as simple and clear as possible... Different authors focusing on slightly different things with a slightly different emphasis.
Science has that too. Different textbooks explain things in slightly different ways... Sort of... Parts really are the same... Like... Nearly word for word... But I find something reassuring about that. Vaguely comforting. Those parts can be skimmed unbelievably fast, anyways, so I don't see the problem.
Like how some lucky bastards attend schools that provide their lecture recordings in a format that lets them listen at 2x or 2.5x speed...
At this school they still haven't got their heads around the idea that some students might learn better when they don't have other students whispering all the way through the lectures... When they don't have 10 minutes of 'OH MY GAWD she said that he said that she thought!!!' before most lectures... When they can pause and high speed etc etc as THEY see fit. Oh my gawd indeed... Students who actually know how they learn best...
I feel... A little scared that I'm not doing more to prepare for this lot of exams. On the one hand... I feel like there is something important in being able to suck it up and do the job even when the job seems... Distasteful... Or something. (Apparently the TRUE AND CORRECT answers to the last few years multiguess of physics are available now)... On the other hand... I feel like... It doesn't matter. I am enjoying learning human anatomy / physiology right now. Even if it is partly a procrastination strategy.... I am currently in a good learning space... A space where I do my best learning... Where I weave those textbooks into part of myself and where I retain that knowledge forever. I should... Run with that while it's going.
Do I deserve a slap on the hand... Focus. I worry 'she's not even able to stick with something when it doesn't interest her. It isn't like every part of the medical curriculum or clinical placements is going to appeal. how is she going to cope with the *ssh*l* doctor who she doesn't feel like working for? or the 2 day workshop or whatever where we have to tell ALL the students 'you won't freaking well graduate if you don't get your *ss to it'... because there is bound to be... a lot of sucking it up...
On message boards... People are often 'what can I do over summer to prepare'. They are routinely told: 'enjoy your summer! things will get hard soon enough! if all goes well for you then you really won't have any summers in future so enjoy while you still can!' But then... If you dig a bit deeper... People will say... That they got the books or whatever... And they tried to do focused study... But they didn't really have any idea of what to study or how to study... So they just sort of kludged about in a way that didn't turn out to be helpful. So... Enjoy your summer!
(Unless of course you enjoy your books - as it turns out many of them did).
But it isn't so very likely to be helpful...
Which is... Sort of true. But sort of not true. I know from experience... Everyone says 'get the A&P book'.. And.. Well.. I simply don't see how knowing certain things... Can't help. But then... I suppose I have the benefit of having past years exams... And also... A genuine interest / desire to know about A&P... For its own sake. Exams aside...
I think... I'm not going to worry so much about these exams.
I think... I'm not going to do stats over the summer. I'm going to enjoy my books now, while I've for the time to enjoy them. Hopefully.... I'll internalise them well enough so that my superquick skimming of them (which will all I'll have time for) will be enough of a reminder...
Chemistry... Really will take up the significant majority of my time. Even internalising the textbook... The textbook bears dubious relation... Lots of little tricks... Little puzzles... She will teach us everythign we need to know... But learning it... Will take up most of my time... The more biology I've got behind me the better...
Posted by alexandra_k on October 28, 2014, at 19:52:59
In reply to Re: books, posted by alexandra_k on October 28, 2014, at 19:36:38
so...
i know pre-meds are tiresome because they are all about doing the bare minimum they need to do to get an A... and because they are all like 'do i have to learn that, like will that be on the test?' but now i see... there are only so many hours in the day... and also a little bit of... peeve... if you don't think this is important enough to be on the test... if you are incapable of presenting it in a way that is learnable.. then why are you wasting my time with it?
i feel...
guilty that i am thinking about joining as an athlete pretty much solely because it will sound better on an application thing. i know pre-meds are tiresome for signing up for things (club secretary etc) that they think will boost their cv and then they go on to really do a crap job / neglect what it is that they are supposed to do...
but then on the other hand... apparently i am not good at selling myself. and i suppose that is the way that i need to be thinking of this... as part of self promotion. which i feel... scathing about... but, whatever. i'm not going to join a rugby club... (not appropriate as a girl, anyway, i suppose running club would be the equivalent, really)... but sport really is the perfect answer. to the whole 'what are you going to do when you have a crap day at work?' question...
i need some 'community embeddedness' thing, too... because even though weightlifting is a sport they might possibly be dubious about the whole meathead aspect of it... not entirely sure what to do... keep an eye on the volunteer list, i guess... i have noticed that more serious stuff seems to be coming up now... only rattle a tin on a street corner kind of stuff nearer the start of the year...
otherwise... i don't suppose i'll worry... i guess the sport thing will be enough... need to wait and hear what message board people say about the application, anyway... since they have introduced the whole multiple mini thing due to their being cheap skates.... the interviewers can't ask us questions arising from our application... because, you know, reading our application and keeping track of stuff from it would take time... (and besides, would probably introduce all the biases they are hoping the interview format will eliminate) so... i don't really see what any of that stuff is for (except to prepare us for the 'personal question' mini interview question that we get). in which case i can afford to be a one hit wonder with the weightlifting thing....
though it is weird because we are told specifically the interviewers won't know our grades or UMAT scores (to prevent bias) but one of the things the interviewers score us on is out ability to do science wtf??? Perhaps they mean... our ability to convey to the interviewer that we have ability to do science whether we can do science or not?
there there... science says: feel better.
i need... to prepare an answer to a question along the lines of what i think is my most negative trait or whatever... one that... is a backhanded selling of myself. part of the game...
i suppose that is what they want to see, really... that we can play the game. the whole 'making people believe they are getting the best possible treatment' game.. 'there there feel better'. there there.
Posted by alexandra_k on October 29, 2014, at 18:53:50
In reply to Re: books, posted by alexandra_k on October 28, 2014, at 19:52:59
it was okay. it could have been so very very very very very much worse. i mean, i know i didn't do amazingly... but i am pretty darned sure that i passed. i am also pretty darned sure that studying for it would have made me to do worse on it. i went in feeling fairly relaxed about it all, which was the best thing i could have done, really.
feeling a bit motivated to study for biology since i've realised it is only the last 3 sections of the course... so... into it...
Posted by alexandra_k on October 31, 2014, at 20:34:49
In reply to Re: one down, posted by alexandra_k on October 29, 2014, at 18:53:50
So, I found the might and magic games that i like... And i got the 7th one (the one after my favorite one) for, like, six dollars. And i tried to run it with wineskin... with making my own skin... and it works!!! if i run it in a tiny window. not sure what is up with that... i have fiddled about with the skin settings... but it ghosts really badly on any other visual settings. so... tiny little window screen it is. it is playable... but so much for my pretty monitor.
I don't know why it didn't properly occur to me to buy a freaking printer. I have been moaning about how hard it is to print off powerpoint notes all freaking year... And how expensive it has been to print on campus... I've decided on a Brother HLL2365DW... Wireless duplex monochrome laser that comes with a regular sized toner...
And I've looked and looked and looked at beanbags... They have become quite the trendy thing... And I realize that fabric is important. I don't need a 'just leave it on your boat in all seasons' one... I also don't need a sheepskin one... But some of the other nicer fabrics are expensive... Anyway... I'm going to get a cheap corduroy one... I think the corduroy will be okay... It isn't shiny polyester, at any rate. 200L... The ones I like in the library are 250L it turns out... They are perhaps a little too big, though.
The library people said they needed to replace the beans every 6 months... So that makes them fairly expensive, actually. And nobody likes to ship beans... Anyway... I think the thing to do is to start out with this one and see how useful it is... If it turns out to be the multi-function desk / lounge chair that I envisage it to be... Will it sit to the right height? It is because my back does ache, rather. And I remember in Australia... How it would interrupt me working / interrupt me sleeping... And if I am going to get more serious about the gym and study both then heavy squats require comfortable studying positions.
So... That was nice... To get to decide what I want to spend the grading money on... And to do a lot of research on it so I know I'll be happy with what I get... I really do like online shopping...
Mouse can wait... And some other stuff... Printing and comfortable sitting... Desk lamp... I need a desk lamp, too...
:)
Posted by alexandra_k on November 3, 2014, at 19:30:45
In reply to Re: one down, posted by alexandra_k on October 31, 2014, at 20:34:49
so i discovered that they expect me to have a B average to transfer into health science next year. at which point i discovered, like, 5 typos on that webpage. sniff. i suppose that is fair. i feel... somewhat nervous... i wish they would take course selection into account... still... i should get a B+ or better out of animal biology, i reckon. And i am keeping my fingers crossed for some kind of B out of physics... i would have thought it impossible before the exam, but now i do have some kind of hope... and i guess... i'll just have to hope for the best with respect to law. try my best to write my exam like... like i really want to get into law school. which is, of course, what most of the others will be doing... trying to impress the external examiner with all the knowledge they have from their OTHER law class this semester. sigh. nothing much i can do about that.
the A&P book is making me really very happy indeed. it is succinct. not many wasted words / diagrams. it is very logical in its progression. i like the way it introduces words in bold with a pronounciation guide and a little blurb about where the term came from. i like the beautiful pictures... the glossy paper... it really is a delight to read.
campbell's biology... getting over it, i am. it goes into a lot more detail about cell processes, in particular. a bit too high level for me at the moment, i think.
the A&P book... and the courseguide notes that i have for one of the classes next year... are reminding me of what i loved about some of my psychology classes... of what really stayed with me over the years as something that i missed... the idea of a manageable chunk of content. 3 things. or 5 things. or maybe 7 things. then you learn them so you can repeat them. maybe you describe them, too. or describe how one leads to the next. and then there might be 3 parts to the first thing and 4 parts to the second... and there is a logical accumulation like that.
i get a lot of satisfaction from learning a managable chunk of content. and i know that it is preparation for the getting to think ABOUT the content that you get to do once you've got the content in there... i enjoy it, at any rate.
i'm not finding animal biology to be so very much like that... which is demotivating for me, rather. the rat lab (in particular) will stay with me as a memory forever, though. anyway...
i was sort of thinking about doing a chem paper for summer school... even though it says it isn't designed to prepare you... anyway... i see the physics one i tried out last semester... won't actually let me enroll in it since i've done the one i've done... i think i'll just go and audit it. because... i'm finding i'm seeing physics everywhere... pressure here and diffusion there and electrical conductance here and waves there... and little equations and stuff... and, well, it isn't supposed to be hard in biology... the point is accumulating the masses of information. but i guess a huge part of what makes it 'not hard' is that one has focused on harder aspects... it will do me good to revisit the concepts even if i don't get particularly better at calculations. setting up the equations... seeing how variables are related... i see why it is required for bio-med. they let me get away with avoiding it if i major in physiology... but that isn't to say that the concepts won't haunt me forever after...
Posted by alexandra_k on November 3, 2014, at 19:44:22
In reply to Re: one down, posted by alexandra_k on October 31, 2014, at 20:34:49
big brother australia is back on. yay. it is like... a 5 day test cricket match (or similar) for studying... you can have it on in the background and pretty much tune it out... then you hear when something interesting happens and you can catch the replay.
i like it because... the people are so very different from me. i couldn't imagine anything worse than being stuck with other people in a closed environment like that 24/7. i really couldn't have a worse nightmare than having everyone watching everything i do all the time... and most of them aren't really the brightest...
and to start out i usually take a strong dislike to ALL of them... to start out... when they are presenting their face to the world... but over time you get to know them. they start to let their guard down... they get hungry angry lonely tired and you see what they are like... and i usually end up liking most of them... or at least some of them... and i realise what a judgemental bitch i can be to have judged them so harshly to start out... and i get to reflecting on being a nicer person and being kinder to people IRL and perhaps getting to know some of the amazing people out there who i might typically write off as being too dis-similar to me...
anyway...
i'm sure i could do the spoiler thing on the internet since it aired in australia already... but i won't. i remember... it entertained me last summer, too.
anyway... happy i am. pretty happy. auditing the summer school paper will be important for my sanity because i'll be mighty lonely about then... and i'll be starting to get demotivated from my own study...
i don't know how much focused work i will get done over the summer... chem in particular... i guess the most important thing is to... have fun with it. i do have some idea of sections they will focus on next year (e.g., i know there is a lot of heart / lung physiology with equations and graphs)... but i also know that it is important to go into the year feeling rested and keen and feeling... humble. open to learning new things. that sometimes thinking 'yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i know it all already' can be ones undoing...
Posted by alexandra_k on November 4, 2014, at 15:19:42
In reply to Re: one down, posted by alexandra_k on November 3, 2014, at 19:44:22
I actually passed the last physics test. Not by heaps, admittedly, but just slightly above the class average this time. Last time... I got a better grade overall but was well below class average, which freaked me out with respect to what was to come...
I might just come out with a B or maybe even a B+ for physics, after all.
:)
Posted by alexandra_k on November 5, 2014, at 18:36:23
In reply to Re: oh, my, posted by alexandra_k on November 4, 2014, at 15:19:42
biology this morning. not bad, not bad, a lot better than expected. my perusing of past years exams: most useful. i mean, really, nobody likes to write exams???? anyway... i guess they don't put up past years exams ANSWERS, to be fair... anyway... the odd shocker... we will see... i will hope for an A- and pray a little bit for an A is how I feel about that.
law... fingers crossed for a B-. today: off. then back into things... yeah... c'mon B-...
weird thing: all the places i've taught had regulations on how the percentage of the marks for the course were allowed to be distributed. so they had a rule that not more than 50% of the course could be due to the exam. but law... for example.. here... has plussage. and... the first test is worth 20% of your total mark for the course (if it is to your advantage for things to be that way) and the exam 80% otherwise: exam takes all.
even physics... 60% exam. and 10% test 2 weeks before exam (and graded much about the same time). so there... 70% of the course grade decided all of sudden right about the end.
on the one hand: things come together (or not) about then. so that does seem fair. on the other hand: sometimes things don't... for whatever reason.
honestly... I think... things mostly do. it is fairer this way. but it is a lot more stressful. things are more up in the air. you know grades are assigned to a distribution (or at least I do) and you worry about what your fellow class mates might be up to... (slacking, it seems to be, but we will see)... eep... eeep..... eeeeeeeeeeep.
Posted by alexandra_k on November 7, 2014, at 17:05:07
In reply to Re: two down, posted by alexandra_k on November 5, 2014, at 18:36:23
I am a dumb-*ss. I just realised, I don't need a wireless printer because I DON'T HAVE WIRELESS
LMFAO
Oh wells...
Timetable is up for next year! I can't enroll in anything yet because I don't have an offer of place, but it is reassuring to know that things are fairly much like last year with respect to lecture times and what semesters certain courses are run in...
They only open up 1 lab time until it fills... Then they open a different lab time. So you need to enroll in the one that is open or wait for a new time to open up... And hope that the new time suits you better...
Anyway... Currently... The open time is Monday afternoons. For both semesters. Biology and Chemistry alternating weeks for the first semester and Medsci every second week for the second. Monday afternoons is a PERFECT lab time. 2 hours to prepare in the first semester and 3 in the second. Which limits it... Which is what I need or it is in danger of sucking up all the time there is...
Someone gave me a link to this review site... People are writing great reviews. At least... Quite a few people saying what I was thinking about courses I've done and some very thoughtful reviews of later courses...
Labs are much hated. People think their grade is RANDOM and depends on your luck for your pod. Strangely... You want to be in a crap pod because it makes you look better. So... All I need to do is to keep my cool and follow along and suck it up.
Yeah.
Posted by alexandra_k on November 8, 2014, at 16:57:59
In reply to Re: two down, posted by alexandra_k on November 7, 2014, at 17:05:07
law tomorrow. it will all be over tomorrow lunchtime. c'mon law, don't totally screw me over. if i don't get a B average (if i don't get entry to health science for next year) I really don't know what the hell i'm going to do...
i'm getting a better grip on next year. have re-found a useful forum. some annoyingly successful people on about how 'easy' everything is. some more genuine people... some people who struggle... it is useful for me, anyway. have picked up odd little bits. a site where people review papers... the papers i've done... mostly agree with the reviews. very thoughtful reviews. the papers i haven't done... most interesting to read the reviews.
i certainly am doing the right thing in having a health science rather than bio-med year next year. the second semester... you need to keep a B+ average across the year in order to apply... but with respect to your GPA they rank applicants on the basis of their grades only for the 4 core papers. so the 4 papers that are different between the Health Science / Bio-Med options only count for your B+ average requirement. So... You need to not fail them. But people freak the f*ck out about bio-chemistry. And some people freak out about physics, too. The more time you are spending learning the kreb cycle (and so on) the less time you are spending learning your lung and heart physiology for the Medsci paper that really matters...
Instead of Bio-Chem and Physics I will get Health Psychology and another population health paper. The health psychology one is... deja vu social psychology. The stanford prison experiment, attachment theory, attributional style etc. The other one is a more qualitative repeat of population health. Crap on a bit about health inequalities in this country etc etc. A LOT less time consuming than the kreb cycle or thermodynamics would be...
And first semester instead of bio101 I'll get a health systems paper - which seems to be management / economics. You know, they will teach us how to check our email and stuff hehe. So very much more interesting than evolution :)
Next year... My aim is for a lot of the core 4 to be... Reminders. I'm hoping to get good exposure to the content over summer, even though I expect I won't get a whole heap done in the way of memorizing particular things. Probably not much point until I see which particular things they want us to memorize, anyway. I know I won't have much time / inclination to be reading books during term time. Using them as reminders... That is what works, though. Especially for the times when the lecturer has a bad day / their explanation is confused.
I think I'm going to be okay. I am looking forward to next year... It will start off hard and get easier as the people drop off...
Biology... A lot of people were talking about transferring to other institutions. Not getting good grades. Becoming aware that getting C / B- grades persistently wasn't going to get them into a job out the other end of their degree. Transferring to tech, typically. To a practical course. Nursing or whatever.
That's where the rowdy masses go... That's why 2nd year is different... Next year will be the same...
I guess I just need to think that: It is good to be surrounded by them insofar as it makes me look better. The only trouble is how hard I find it to function around them...
Reviews suggest that a lot of people think that chemistry labs are random. Some Olympiad / Scholarship kids doing really badly in their labs and some students who get C+ for their theory tests getting full marks for them... The thing to do is to... just suck it up, really. The 'really badly' is still a pass... And you just have to hope you do well enough in the theory...
It is... Reassuring to me... That I'm not the only one who struggles a lot with them. Reassuring to me that reviews I've seen match my assessment of courses I've done. Reassuring to me to read reviews of future courses and hear what people are saying. Reassuring to me that I'm finally coming home to people who are like me enough for me to feel at home. People posting pictures of their ideal study environment... I'm happy, yeah. C'mon law... Don't ruin things for me...
Time to learn about the freaking treaty...
Posted by alexandra_k on November 9, 2014, at 23:27:30
In reply to Re: two down, posted by alexandra_k on November 8, 2014, at 16:57:59
done :)
it could have been worse, again. just a matter of wait and see, now. doesn't feel quite real. nowhere near as unreal as submitting my masters or honors work, but i still can't quite believe that i really don't have to worry about any of it any more...
my printer arrived today. it has a ethernet port and i can connect it to my computer okay, so all is well. it came with a starter toner and says so in a very inconspicuous place on the box so i feel a bit had... i should have emailed them to check before ordering... but still, it is a very nice printer and replacement toners are reasonably priced and so on. so... i am happy.
i wish my model kit would arrive. i suspect it is lost forever. which pisses me off, rather. have emailed them... we will see... it is sad because i was so looking forward to making them... i don't suppose it is necessary though. i'll try not to let it ruin chemistry for me.
not long until the dreaded christmas. guess i'll get through it the way i always do... i think i'm going to get morrowwind... see if i can get used to real time combat...
Posted by alexandra_k on November 10, 2014, at 0:46:06
In reply to Re: two down, posted by alexandra_k on November 9, 2014, at 23:27:30
baldur's gate for pc turns out to be different from x-box. i've only ever played it on x-box. there are a bunch of similarly old games... planescape: torment. never heard of it. and it is looking like i might be able to wineskin neverwinter nights...
i will get through the holidays okay. there is always world of warcraft...
Posted by Dr. Bob on November 11, 2014, at 10:56:49
In reply to Re: two down, posted by alexandra_k on November 9, 2014, at 23:27:30
> done :)
Good work! And how did you do?
Bob
Posted by alexandra_k on November 11, 2014, at 20:26:01
In reply to Re: done, posted by Dr. Bob on November 11, 2014, at 10:56:49
don't know. i remember being surprised that it took them over a week to get our grades back last semester. maybe closer to two. i think there may be more external pressure on curves / bureaucracy here...
B+ for general chemistry last semester.
waiting on animal biology, physics, law.Need a B average to get to transfer into Health Science for next year.
I am a bit worried, yeah. I didn't know I had an average requirement with having my Masters Degree... I wouldn't have done law 'for fun' if I'd have known that. Not after that chemistry grade. Not with physics (the hardest parts of chemistry).
If my GPA is a little lower I might be able to get a place if I change my application to applying for targeted admission on grounds of disability. I'd really rather not do that, but I will if I need to, I suppose.
It is hurting the ego a bit to feel like I'm concerned about being a B student when I was most definitely an A student before. Partly, I'm worried that I'm just not as good at science as I am at other things. Partly, I'm worried that I'm just not as good at anything when I'm at a better university that attracts smarter and harder working students. I don't know which it is. Probably a combination of both. I remember though that my worst grades were earliest on. Perhaps that always is the way. If my B+ for chemistry can be an A- next year that may be enough. If my B+ or A- for animal biology (fingers crossed for something like that) can be an A next year then that may be enough.
Anyway... Chin up...
Baldur's Gate II... Is good.
:)
Posted by alexandra_k on November 12, 2014, at 21:28:47
In reply to Re: done, posted by alexandra_k on November 11, 2014, at 20:26:01
I seem to have found mine. Though, it is perhaps too soon to tell. Usually I would be binging on something, by now. But I'm not.
Spending a couple hours on this and then that. Playing a game for a bit and then feeling tired of it. Doing some chemistry and then feeling tired of that. Going to the gym... Watching big brother... Cleaning the house... I will be quite happy with myself if I can keep this up. That is what I would most like for myself this summer. To become better at making good use of my time. To spend a couple hours on this and then a couple hours on that. To be better at allocating time and effort to the range of papers that I have instead of binging on one at the expense of the others... And so on...
I guess I have realised this year that there is quite a lot of down-time. Quite a lot of time to prepare for exams. They even have a bunch of 'revision' lectures before tests so you aren't getting hit with new content just before tests, at least...
Mostly it is about keeping up morale enough to carry on... Not needing to take too much time out to collapse into a little pool of despair... I think they try and overwhelm you purposely, at times... Just to see how you will cope with it...
Anyway... My subscription to the maths website just renewed itself, too, after my having suspended it for most of the year. I think I might take a little look at about where things are at, now... See what sense I can make of algebra now... Do some more practice with unit conversions and scientific notations... See what I can do with graphs...
Life is good...
The model kit people said they would ship me another if I pay for traced courier if it is clear that the one they sent is lost... That is very good of them. They said it could take a couple more weeks to this part of the world... So I'll give it a couple more. Then, uh, I need to get them to fill out an inquiry form incase it got detained at a post-shop here. Because I f*ck*d up the address details. Correct building name but incorrect number. I'll be massively embarrassed if that is the problem. Anyway... It means a lot to me to have a model kit... So... I hope it arrives soon...
Feeling a bit... Disturbed. But the weather has been stormy. And people are a bit weird at the moment because of exams. And I'm a bit concerned about mine. So...
Posted by alexandra_k on November 15, 2014, at 17:11:57
In reply to Re: balance, posted by alexandra_k on November 12, 2014, at 21:28:47
i will need to do significantly better next year to have a chance of entry to medicine. they won't make the grade cut-off public... and of course people aren't very likely to want to fess up to having the distinction of only just scraping in with the lowest possible marks... apparently someone or other got in on something between an A- and an A average (for the core 4 papers). but they could have kicked *ss at the UMAT and the interview... most people seem to think that 8 or 8.25 (so 4 A's or 3 A's and an A+) is more like it... for the non-rural non-maaori and pacific islander applicants, at any rate. it really is so very hard to say...
i'm feeling quite good about biology. because i'm really enjoying reading the textbook. to start with i was a bit grumpy it wasn't Marieb, because i enjoyed Marieb from tech. But now i really love Tortora. I think it is better than Marieb (or what I remember from Marieb) with a more clinical focus. Every time I get to a part and I think about all the medical conditions I've faintly heard of involving this or that... There is bound to be a clinical box briefly going over it. So... And I know the textbook goes into heaps more detail than we will need. Somehow... That helps me feel that what we do need to learn is more manageable.
I'm also thinking... One of the things that I think really helped me for psychology was the fact that I enjoyed learning from the textbooks. In the tests / exams you would get the odd question that seemed genuinely ambiguous. And I'd go with my gut. Then later... I'd find that the angle or focus or emphasis of the textbook was driving my gut. And my gut was right. I've looked at some past bio exams and again, there seem to be quite a few genuinely ambiguous questions. E.g., hard to say which structure that line is pointing to on the diagram. Anyway... It is common for students to complain that various of the questions are ambiguous... It is also common for students to pronounce that you don't need to buy the textbooks because they got through the year just fine without even opening theirs. Maybe if they opened them they would have resolved the ambiguous questions better than chance! Perhaps... That is my theory for now, at any rate. The histology pics on the text / exam... I think they picked them out of the non-histology parts of the textbook (beyond prescribed reading, even)...
I may not pronounce this theory too loudly.
I'm mostly feeling good about next year because the courses are much more genuinely interesting to me and I know they put a great deal of time and thought into their contents etc. That means they present the information much more clearly and the information is much more likely to be a manageable chunk. They won't be assuming that we are lazy and stupid students...
I spent about 4 hours learning the content of the first embryology lecture. That seems like a lot of time, to me. But I have never done any embryology before and there are too many xxxblast and blastxxx names to try and get straight and lots of things have 2 names and instead of making it clear when 2 names are synonymous they will introduce a structure with one name and then go on to use another and you have to go on a bit of a hunt to figure out whether they are referring to the same or different things aaaargh... anyway... I enjoyed it. And it means... I have a good chance of following along in the lecture since most of it will be familiar and I'm much more likely to remember stuff from the lecture since I have the basic structure to hang the new content onto.
It is common for people to complain that parts of biology are content heavy. But then, it is also common for people to pronounce that you don't need High School Biology because biology isn't hard, really. Anyway... One guy said he did really well in High School Biology and he thinks it really did help because it gave him more time for other courses when other people had to put in a significant number of hours learning about translation and transcription and miosis and mitosis... Campbell's Biology does go on... But there is a single chapter from Tortora which is probably more than we need to know... So... And I'm enjoying it all now, which is great.
Anyway... I think I won't do summer school because it doesn't finish until a week before things start. And I do want to be fresh... I'll just gatecrash some of the lectures... Since the lungs are pistons and all... Sigh.
I better get into health science next year. please oh please oh please. They let me into the degree 2x before because I had a Masters... I've still got my freaking Masters ffs... they better let me in!!!
Posted by alexandra_k on November 16, 2014, at 14:59:55
In reply to Re: balance, posted by alexandra_k on November 15, 2014, at 17:11:57
and the thing i've almost purposely been putting out of my mind... i need to sit the UMAT. everybody does. around about june or july.
i should have sat it this year for the practice. i really had been putting it out of my mind...
it has a 'critical reasoning' section... which has some statistics. you need to know things like 'you can't make inferences about absolute numbers or proportions when you are only given percentage information'. and sometimes background knowledge assists (e.g., questions on phototaxis and the like and inferring what is going on from where the microbes migrated to in the picture of them in their dish)... and othertimes it interferes (where subject specific knowledge or even general knowledge or even common-sense goes beyond the information on the page). i need to learn how critical reasoning / logic is going to play along... are they going to interpret language the way philosophers do? e.g., if they say 'people' do we read that as 'all people' or 'some people' or 'only some people' or 'most people' or 'not all people' and which of those do they consider equivalent etc... i need to figure... is it helpful to draw venn diagrams or diagram logic structure? (this really does seem to be more math than critical reasoning to me)
it has a theory of mind section. partly it is about knowlege of synonyms. it might say that someone is 'irritated' and then 'anger' appears on your list. so a test of english language proficiency. partly it is about incorporating information and assuming something like rationality and good intent. e.g., the fact that someone did a prenatal course is supposed to establish that she is knowledgeable and responsible and well dispositioned toward the pregnancy. how nurses are likely to feel is how one would feel if one were taking all of the above into account with perfect rationality, and so on... i think... it is more how people would feel in some slightly formal slightly literary novel than how the masses would likely feel when they are sick or hormonal or sleepy angry lonely or tired... but... whatever... it seems learnable, which is good...
* actually... i know how it seems... it seems like some of the 'worked through' examples a certain author used when i was reading his stuff on emotions. when higher order (hence fairly rationally controlled) emotions were used 'strategically' as a communication / manipulation strategy. not as an expression of emotional intensity but as a way of making it likely that others will act in ways you want them to. Machiavelli emotions, i think he called them. heh.
it has a math section which they reckon is about pattern recognition. next one in a sequence or arrange the 5 into a sequence and pick the middle or whatever. you are meant to use the simplest rule possible and i think there is even a higher order rule about what constitutes simplicity... addition is simpler than multiplication, for example. the sequences are weird... there are different elements and you need to follow them about. weird things can happen. one of them can cover up others. people say that this is the easiest section to improve on with study... i guess especially if you simply can't see how to do any of them initially... and then you learn some strategy rules. even knowing that each element is in fact guided by a rule (and some clues as to what those rules might be e.g., +1, +1, +1 or +1, +2, +3 or +1, -1, +1, -1 is a considerable help to me (this really is maths - right?) but simple maths... simple once you know the rule, maths...
i guess the idea is to think of it as being a lot like chemistry... lots of little skills / tricky tricks. impossible if you don't know... but really easy once you know how. and so the thing to do is to take my time getting the right answer with the practice sets. and then once i can actually get the right answer to most of them i can worry about picking up the pace. i think that is the key, really. there is considerable time pressure. but if i feel too anxious my response is to freeze / output garbage for a time. and so... i really will need to practice pacing... so i don't waste time garbage skimming (not gaining any useful information) ... it is a tricky thing... i should have taken it this year DAMMIT.
it is mostly about learning to think the way they do. the theory of mind test isn't in grasping how people are 'mostly likely' to think with respect to the 'most likely' demographic. not at all. my theory of mind has changed significantly over the past few years as i've interacted more with non-university / non-academic people. their mentality is quite different, i really do believe. and of course people say one thing... and mean / believe / do another. but none of that matters for the super-sophisticated theory of mind test. and of course the written theory of mind test has applicability back to the real world - right? i mean... the adults with autism... they can't learn the 'right' answer to the sally-anne task - right?i am lucky that this university only makes the UMAT worth 15% of their selection procedure. australian universities take the test much much MUCH more seriously... for us... you have to do one of the two 8 paper years. you have to get a B+ average across those 8 papers in order to apply. then candidates are ranked on the basis of their grades for the 4 papers that are overlapping / common to both pathways. they offer 2x as many interviews as they have available places. that is where people are saying that you need more like a 7.75 to get an interview... but admissions won't say any more because it varies from year to year... and then... candidates are ranked where GPA on the overlapping 4 is worth 60%, interview is worth 25%, UMAT is worth 15%. and places are offered...
Posted by alexandra_k on November 17, 2014, at 0:00:10
In reply to Re: balance, posted by alexandra_k on November 16, 2014, at 14:59:55
sigh.
and most people say it would be a great year... lots of really interesting classes... if only there wasn't such pressure to do well. brings out the worst in everyone, i think.
people say that they look back on it... and it wasn't much fun, yeah. especially the kids who didn't go into the year with lots of their mates from high school...
i think i do need a bit of an attitude adjustment. that isn't quite it... i need to learn how they want me to think for the UMAT. it... annoys me, rather. such tests annoy me. i've never done very well on them. people took great delight in my not doing well on them. nobody every tried to teach me how to do better on them. i'm cross because i need to put quite a bit of time into figuring out how to do them... and it seems very much a hoop thing... i mean... how will getting better at spot the middle help me at anything other than that particular task?
i am scared... this year has helped in some ways... has been necessary... but my confidence has taken a bit of a hit, too... my squat stalled today so i'm cranky about that. but i shouldn't be... because it is the best it has ever been and i've been consistently doing better than i've ever done before (front squat 45kg for triples is very reliable indeed and i couldn't get it for a single before). couldn't get my second triple today at 47.5kg... gosh... i remember when i couldn't squat the 20kg bar... i have come a long way... in a little over 5 years. ha.
enjoy the summer for sure.
:)
c'mon grades...
i will snatch 60kg before i die. i will.
Posted by alexandra_k on November 17, 2014, at 0:02:33
In reply to Re: balance, posted by alexandra_k on November 17, 2014, at 0:00:10
the emotion section... is about seeing patience and kindness and responsibleness etc etc etc everywhere... about projecting that and seeing that. i get it.
but the fact that i'm taking a test... makes me feel cranky. and short. and impatient. and so i'm likely to interpret that into the answers... which is precisely what they don't want to see.
ak!
Posted by alexandra_k on November 19, 2014, at 0:38:37
In reply to Re: balance, posted by alexandra_k on November 17, 2014, at 0:02:33
had a disturbed nights sleep... worried about the UMAT, go figure.
i think...
i need to be a bit careful about the gym. figure out what helps me feel good... vs what gets me feeling achy and agitated. the cross-fit style going hard at a bunch of different things... you can get sort of addicted to the adrenalin, or something, but it is just running yourself into the ground, really.
yoga.
rediscover that. keep it as a routine for next year.
i think...
the way for me to think of the UMAT is that it is indeed teaching us a bag of tricks. they basically say as much... that they don't reccommend extensive study / preparation (it won't help). there are outfits (not authorised by them) who charge a lot of money for extra preparation help... they are explicit in saying that they don't endorse them.
but the official people provide you with one full exam with worked answers when you register. and you can purchase another. and you can purchase another - but this time the provided answers aren't worked / explained. and you can purchase another half set with unworked answers... and i think their point is... that if all that isn't enough for you to get the tricks / rules / patterns such that you can go on similarly (and quickly) then, uh, there isn't much hope for you.
they are upfront about how preparation is helpful... i guess... the idea is to make good use of the materials you can get from them... and then figure out how much time you have to spend on each question (or chunk of 4 or 5 when you have a bunch of questions about the same blurble) and keep to your plan such that you finish on time and just... do the best you can in the time that you have.
and some people just can't seem to do that... people posting that they had a bunch at the end that they didn't get to answer because they ran out of time (bad time management) or they got stuck on one (the site people say they put some in that don't count toward your overall score - probably purposely to psych you out or confound you or prime you or just testing a future tricky trick they might find predictive of ability on another tricky trick...) and some people who pay a fortune on extra help courses and still don't seem to be able to see +1 +1 +1 strategy in the appropriate time frame.
the inter-personal ones are... good, actually. part of the trick seems to be... that one person is... dispassioned. objective. doctorly, perhaps. in some kind of stereotypical way. they KNOW you are going to identify with that one. the trick isn't to identify with them... the trick is to identify with the OTHER one. the one who is (at least partly) responding to the perception of distance / aloofness etc. the idea is to... judge their response to be something... that gets you feeling warmly disposed towards them rather than judgemental or dismissive etc. or something. anyway... nice. kind. i like-y. i tell myself. heh.
point is... there are rules. and i will get them. no need to be stressed / panicked about this. just a bit of dilligence... like my other work... i... thought science would teach me dilligence. i think that it is.
yay.
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