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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Jay_Original1 on December 29, 2012, at 19:41:19
I would have never thought I would forget it was Christmas on Xmas morning. Maybe I just really didn't care. It felt more like Xmas didn`t care.
Before you call me Grinch.....somebody stole my Mom and hurt her...that is what it feels like. I mentioned my Mom had a major stroke in late November. Now she has had a second one, and my last image of her is laying in a hospital bed, trembling, both her body and her jaw, unconscious. She had woken up for a few minutes, and saw me (and hopefully heard) tell her how much I love her. She mouthed that she loved me too. She can`t speak because they had a tracheostomy (tracheotomy smaller version) due to a damn breathing tube. It`s all so long and complicated..now she has had a second stroke, 2 infections, one in her brain and one in her lungs...which is if there is anything called Hope, it has showed itself in clearing up the infection in her lungs. I say I may have glimpsed at Hope at sometime, in the fact my dear Mom has so much going for her...especially at 73...in that she doesn`t smoke...eats the most healthy diet...and walked almost 2 miles every day for the past 15 years.
I am also looking after my severely depressed (he is on meds) 75 year old father, who is now disabled, and has a mini-novel length of ailments...including non-working kidneys and is on dialysis.
It is NOT my Mom, nor my Dad`s, time yet....I just absolutely know this. It is often the only thing that keeps me going...and from giving up. Never surrender. &%$! the norm, the odds.
That is all I can write for now....I am sorry. Please, I ask for your prayers...I don`t know what I believe in anymore, but Spirit and Hope are good enough for me! Thank you kindly for the b-day wish SG!
-Jay
Posted by Jay_Original1 on December 29, 2012, at 22:01:57
In reply to I am having the worst inner batlle of my life...., posted by Jay_Original1 on December 29, 2012, at 19:41:19
Posted by Phillipa on December 30, 2012, at 10:11:12
In reply to I am having the worst inner batlle of my life...., posted by Jay_Original1 on December 29, 2012, at 19:41:19
Jay I'm just reading this now. What is the latest update on your Mother? Christmas Day was spent driving to visit my husbands brother who also had a second stroke first also being Thanksgiving time. He is 44 had previous brain tumor age 21. He's made it to a rehab nursing home. Hopefully he will regain enough to return home where is healthy 83 year old Dad lives with him. Seems so much tragedy this year. My prayers and blessings to you and your family. Phillipa
Posted by gadchik on December 30, 2012, at 13:49:37
In reply to I am having the worst inner batlle of my life...., posted by Jay_Original1 on December 29, 2012, at 19:41:19
Jay, you cannot go over it, or under it, you must go through it,as they say. This must be so difficult,what you are experiencing,and which many of us will or have experienced. I am praying for you and your parents. Spirit and Hope are beautiful words with deep meaning, and will get you through.
Posted by sleepygirl2 on December 30, 2012, at 20:54:32
In reply to I am having the worst inner batlle of my life...., posted by Jay_Original1 on December 29, 2012, at 19:41:19
(((Jay)))
I don't know what to say :-(
Except to share that I've been watching the health of my own parents decline, and it's a scary thing.
And, you just can't know for sure... About much of anything
Try not to despair, you're doing all you can.
Take care
Posted by Jay_Original1 on December 31, 2012, at 20:51:26
In reply to Re: I am having the worst inner batlle of my life.... » Jay_Original1, posted by Phillipa on December 30, 2012, at 10:11:12
> Jay I'm just reading this now. What is the latest update on your Mother? Christmas Day was spent driving to visit my husbands brother who also had a second stroke first also being Thanksgiving time. He is 44 had previous brain tumor age 21. He's made it to a rehab nursing home. Hopefully he will regain enough to return home where is healthy 83 year old Dad lives with him. Seems so much tragedy this year. My prayers and blessings to you and your family. Phillipa
I am sorry to hear about that with your brother-in-law Phillipa. He is only a year older than I. You mention another thing that has me on the 'spin' cycle. I have a very controlling, selfish 53 year old sister, who seems to think because she and her husband have money, they can toss both my Mom and Dad into a nursing home. Well...I told her....f' that! We have EXCELLENT community health care where I live, with tons of community nurses, rehab physio et al, personal support workers. IF it is imperative, and the doctor suggests it, I will MAYBE consider out-look into a nursing home, only IF she absolutely has to go. I have what we call here "Power of Attorney"...I was appointed my Mom's decision maker for matters like this. I have a legal, binding document written by her lawyer, that has me appointed as such. So my sister can't do crap...and I am so thankful for that.
Oh boy...the last people you'd think of having to put up a fight with is your sibling. Fortunately I have shoved her out of the picture. And trust me....I know deep in my heart, there was a reason my Mom appointed me specifically.
Anyhow...I HATE talking about that stuff...so I don't let the demons roam. My Mom's condition is steady with some slow (but, I dare say, hopeful) signs of health. She has hydrocephalus, build-up of pressure and fluid in the brain. Now they are treating this with a lumbar-peritoneal shunt, which re-directs the fluid from the brain via the peritoneal cavity. Yes, I had to look some of that up. :)
So....phew...I am exhausted. More latter...I promise. And, thank you....:)
Jay
Posted by Jay_Original1 on December 31, 2012, at 21:03:36
In reply to Re: I am having the worst inner batlle of my life...., posted by gadchik on December 30, 2012, at 13:49:37
> Jay, you cannot go over it, or under it, you must go through it,as they say. This must be so difficult,what you are experiencing,and which many of us will or have experienced. I am praying for you and your parents. Spirit and Hope are beautiful words with deep meaning, and will get you through.
Thank you so much GADC. That is a really good explanation...and I wonder, what kind of person comes out on the other side? I read a great book called "Ghost Rider : Travels on the Healing Road" in which the author experiences two horrible tragedies within a year...loss of his only 19 year old daughter and a year latter, loss of his wife to cancer. He came out a much, much more sensitive,caring man...but that price he paid, it is like it is scarred on your soul.
Take care...
Jay
Posted by Jay_Original1 on December 31, 2012, at 21:13:46
In reply to Re: I am having the worst inner batlle of my life.... » Jay_Original1, posted by sleepygirl2 on December 30, 2012, at 20:54:32
> (((Jay)))
> I don't know what to say :-(
> Except to share that I've been watching the health of my own parents decline, and it's a scary thing.
> And, you just can't know for sure... About much of anything
> Try not to despair, you're doing all you can.
> Take careThank you...I like hugs. :) You know, what I guess I really learn't out of all of this is that our society values youth WAYYY too much. We bury the elders, living or dying, in inhumane nursing homes...my goawd we treat our pets better!! But, we are slowly progressing...towards community care..and the whole "dying at home" movement.
But again...thank you kindly. :) I've been listening to my collection of Jewel, Sarah Mclachlan, all of that mushy stuff. ;)
Best, and ((((SG2))) :)
Jay
Posted by Phillipa on December 31, 2012, at 21:42:43
In reply to Re: I am having the worst inner batlle of my life.... » Phillipa, posted by Jay_Original1 on December 31, 2012, at 20:51:26
Jay having been an RN I understand hyrocephalus and shunts and what you wrote is absolutely correct. The fluid is relieved from pressing on the brain by exiting into the shunt and entering the peritoneal cavity where the body reaborbs the fluid. Greg's Brother even with the rehab I have my doubts about him returning home. He seems quite happy there and safe. Phillipa
Posted by brynb on January 16, 2013, at 19:02:45
In reply to I am having the worst inner batlle of my life...., posted by Jay_Original1 on December 29, 2012, at 19:41:19
I'm sorry for what you're going through, Jay. My prayers and wishes are with you.
I understand how you feel. My mom (and dad) are my best friends, and frankly, because I'm in such a horrible place right now, they're the only reason why I won't try ending it at the moment.
I hope to hear good news about your situation soon.
-b
This is the end of the thread.
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