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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by hyperfocus on September 28, 2011, at 22:55:03
It's bad enough that this happens:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2039801/Bullied-gay-teen-Jamey-Rodemeyer-commits-suicide-Thanks-Lady-Gaga-post.htmlbut then:
Bullies are continuing to plague a grief-stricken family even after the suicide of their 14-year-old gay son. New York student Jamey Rodemeyer killed himself after repeatedly complaining about bullies at his school and after making a heart-breaking YouTube video where he talked of his hopes for a better future. Now those same bullies chanted "we're glad he's dead" when Jamey's 16-year-old sister, Alyssa, attended a homecoming dance. "She was having a great time, and all of a sudden a Lady Gaga song came on, and they all started chanting for Jamey, all of his friends," Jamey's mom, Tracy, said on the Today Show. "Then the bullies that put him into this situation started chanting, 'You're better off dead!' and 'We're glad you're dead!'"Alyssa "came home in tears," said her mom. "It turned into bullying even after he's gone." Her dad added: "I cant grasp it. I dont know why anyone would do that. They have no heart."
http://www.newser.com/story/129689/bullies-taunt-gay-suicides-sis-were-glad-hes-dead.htmlIn my first year at a new school one of the students died in a boating accident a few weeks after the start of the term. I didn't know him very well except for a few times when he sat next to me. But his death affected me. I wasn't really sad or in grief - what I felt was like 3 parts sadness and 7 parts wonder. I thought that, wow, A. sat next to me, he talked and breathed and laughed and lent me a pencil...and now he's dead, under the sea on the bottom maybe. I mean I _felt_ his death as a profound thing even though I wasn't grieved by it. It took me a while to get over those feelings. So then how is it that these kids can see this poor boy's death - which occurred at their own hands - as an opportunity for more ridicule and abuse? Is it that they're too young to understand what they did?
One rationale for bullying I can accept is that the kids don't know or understand what they're doing or the damage they're inflicting on another human being. It's like their capacity for empathy and compassion hasn't developed yet - the same kids who enjoy kicking dogs or setting fire to cats will develop eventually into rational adults. When you read about killings or shootings in schools like this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E.O._Green_School_shooting you can rationalize that ok these kids had a lot of hate in them for sure, but still the whole incident to them was like a video game or a scene from a bad action movie. At some level they don't really understand the consequences of their actions. But taunting a grieving family over the suicide of their son? It seems inhuman. So why does this happen? Why does this kind of sadism occur in kids so young?
I mean it can't be than 10-15 kids out of 100 in that year are sociopaths - the rate of incidence isn't that high. Is there some sort of group-effect that enables any large group of people, regardless of age, to act in the most callous way possible - to the point that death itself isn't enough to satisfy their need to hurt someone? Is bullying some sort of precursor to Nazism or genocide?
Posted by Shes_InItForTheMoney on September 29, 2011, at 1:47:45
In reply to Another bullying suicide and taunts after death?, posted by hyperfocus on September 28, 2011, at 22:55:03
Watch this heartwrenched video of a song about
bullying....it is amazing what rock music can communicate. (Warning, there are graphic triggers in this video.)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XP4clbHc4Xg&ob=av2e
Bang bang go the coffin nails, like a breath exhaled,
Been gone forever.
It seems like just yesterday, how did I miss the red flags raised?
Think back to the days we laughed.
We braved these bitter storms together.
Brought to his knees he cried,
But on his feet he died.What God would damn a heart?
And what God drove us apart?What God could make it stop?
Let this end.
Eighteen years pushed to the ledge.
It's come to this,
A weightless step.
On the way down singing,
Woah, woah.Bang bang from the closet walls,
The schoolhouse halls,
The shotgun's loaded.
Push me and I'll push back.
I'm done asking, I demand.From a nation under God,
I feel its love like a cattle prod.
Born free, but still they hate.
Born me, no I can't change.It's always darkest just before the dawn.
So stay awake with me, let's prove them wrong.Make it stop.
Let this end,
Eighteen years pushed to the ledge.
It's come to this,
A weightless step.
On the way down singing,
Woah, woah.The cold river washed him away,
But how could we forget?
The gatherings saw candles, but not their tongues.And too much blood has flown from the wrists,
Of the children shamed for those they chose to kiss.
Who will rise to stop the blood?We're calling for,
Insisting on, a different beat, yeah.
A brand new song.Whoa, whoa [x3]
(Tyler Clementi, age 18.
Billy Lucas, age 15.
Harrison Chase Brown, age 15
Cody J. Barker, age 17
Seth Walsh, age 13.)Make it stop,
Let this end.
This life chose me, I'm not lost in sin.
But proud I stand of who I am,
I plan to go on living.Make it stop,
let this end,
all these years pushed to the ledge,
but proud I stand, of who I am,
I plan to go on living
Posted by sigismund on September 29, 2011, at 5:23:50
In reply to Another bullying suicide and taunts after death?, posted by hyperfocus on September 28, 2011, at 22:55:03
>So then how is it that these kids can see this poor boy's death - which occurred at their own hands - as an opportunity for more ridicule and abuse?
So they can believe he deserved it.
This is chronic. I went to a boarding school where it was a 24 hour thing. I didn't know it then, but all my friends were gay, although that word did not exist then. The odd and interesting thing was that the pre-puberty boys, the 11 yos would sometimes jump into each other's beds at nights for touch rather than sex. Once puberty hit you could be destroyed for anything. Certain boys could flaunt their sexuality, holding towels up over their erections, but God forbid that some boys walked around their beds naked. They might get 3 years of hatred for that.
Posted by Christ_empowered on September 29, 2011, at 13:32:36
In reply to Re: Another bullying suicide and taunts after death? » hyperfocus, posted by sigismund on September 29, 2011, at 5:23:50
A couple years ago, I was burned out at 20-22 and living in a college town with my best friend. Rumors of all sorts got spread--that I was a pill head, that I had AIDS, that I was a narcissist. The pill head thing and the narcissism came from someone (or a couple people) at a private detox facility/mental hospital I'd been sent to. The AIDS rumor...I have no idea where that came from. Maybe that was the explanation for why I looked like crap?
Anyway, people were vicious. People at work would talk about me and say "he's only got a few years left." People at local bars, including an ex-psychiatrist of mine, would make fun of me.
Then I got better. During my crack up in another town, I started to look better--young again. A lot of my hair grew back. When I came back home after the crack up, the cruelty continued. Now the rumors were that I was a narcissist who'd had extensive plastic surgery. These weren't High School kids; it was college student and grad students and doctors and young-ish faculty at the local college who were doing this. I remember one time, while I was still burned out, a college student walked by me and said "if I were him, I'd kill myself."
I don't know. I've read that my generation, and the generation below me, is more narcissistic than previous generations, at least in the US. We tend to be more confident, more sociable, more ruthless, and less empathetic. We love facebook and pop culture and being "cool," but our vocabulary is shrinking and academic performance is hitting the skids.
I think the mixture of vapid+self-absorbed+group think+normal human cruelty, left unchecked by family, religion, or other social institutions=out-of-control group-level ruthlessness, the war of all against all, especially those who are different.
Posted by SLS on September 29, 2011, at 15:26:21
In reply to it doesn't stop in HS, posted by Christ_empowered on September 29, 2011, at 13:32:36
> Anyway, people were vicious. People at work would talk about me and say "he's only got a few years left." People at local bars, including an ex-psychiatrist of mine, would make fun of me.
Disgusting. I am sorry that you had to endure that.
- Scott
Posted by Phillipa on September 29, 2011, at 18:05:58
In reply to Re: it doesn't stop in HS » Christ_empowered, posted by SLS on September 29, 2011, at 15:26:21
CE just horrible how cruel some can be. Phillipa
This is the end of the thread.
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