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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by jammerlich on September 17, 2009, at 1:13:37
Hypothetically speaking:Let's say you met someone you liked a lot and became intimate with him, only to learn that he'd been sleeping with someone else for 18+ months and lied to you about it. And say, he chose the other woman but you felt there was a lot more to him than this one mistake/betrayal and decide to remain his friend.
How would you take it if he emailed this link? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYKB0vbqxwo
Hypothetically.
Posted by Phillipa on September 17, 2009, at 10:33:48
In reply to What would you think?, posted by jammerlich on September 17, 2009, at 1:13:37
I'm sorry you've gone though this. I relate as first husband cheated on me most of the 21 years of our marriage. I never ever should have married him. Didn't have computers then. Is appears that he is pleading innocence and playing with your emotions. I can't comment further as it's a touchy subject. Run as fast as you can. Phillipa
Posted by jammerlich on September 17, 2009, at 12:16:17
In reply to Re: What would you think? » jammerlich, posted by Phillipa on September 17, 2009, at 10:33:48
Thanks, Phillipa, but I am not going to run. I've seen a therapist, who happens to be familiar with him, about this and she agrees that he is a good man who would make a worthwhile friend.
I appreciate your perspective on the possible meaning behind the video.
Posted by Angela2 on September 17, 2009, at 13:26:24
In reply to What would you think?, posted by jammerlich on September 17, 2009, at 1:13:37
why would he send you that? Maybe ask him why.
Posted by Angela2 on September 17, 2009, at 13:27:52
In reply to Re: What would you think?, posted by Angela2 on September 17, 2009, at 13:26:24
forgot to say that it just doesn't seem appropriate or sensitive to your feelings considering what happened and how you feel.
Posted by TexasChic on September 17, 2009, at 19:29:49
In reply to What would you think?, posted by jammerlich on September 17, 2009, at 1:13:37
They both look 12 - kind of odd. I don't know, its hard to know what he was trying to say with that. I'd be confused too.
-T
Posted by jammerlich on September 17, 2009, at 21:11:54
In reply to Re: What would you think?, posted by TexasChic on September 17, 2009, at 19:29:49
Turns out he thought the video was good, especially since a 14 year old shot it. And the song struck him. I guess he just didn't consider how it might feel to me.
Posted by Kath on September 18, 2009, at 21:02:52
In reply to What would you think?, posted by jammerlich on September 17, 2009, at 1:13:37
I'm typing my answer as if this were NOT hypothetical. I hope you'll forgive me for that.
If I was STRONG I'd think:
"Whatever buddy! You are capable of using me & hurting me & totally capable of being unfaithful. Then you chose HER, then something happened (like maybe she caught you sleeping with someone else, yet again) & now you want ME back?
Fergedaboutit!!!"If I was Strong, I'd think additional things that I can't post here!!!! Or else there'd be a LOT of ****'s in the post!
If I was heartbroken & reeling from betrayal, I might be tempted to be "reeled" in like a fish on a line....if I was heartbroken & lonely & hurting, I might want to believe all the pretty words & touching scenes.
And now, I want to first hug you (((you))).
And next, because I care a lot about you, I want to say I'm so sorry that you were hurt & that he hasn't even got the decency to think of YOUR feelings, but rather his own selfish ones. I also want to say to you, kindly & gently - please, please know that someone who has cheated & hurt once, like he did to you, is totally capable of doing it again. And if you were to even grace this behaviour with a reply, & possibly get back together, would you EVER feel secure in your heart that he wouldn't do it again?
I send you my love. Kath
Posted by Kath on September 18, 2009, at 21:06:03
In reply to Re: What would you think?, posted by jammerlich on September 17, 2009, at 21:11:54
Sorry Jammer, I should have read the whole thread before replying.
I think you must be a way stronger person than me.
I don't think I would be able to be close to someone & have them behave hurtfully like that to me, & then be their friend.
It sort of surprises me that a therapist would think that someone who could betray someone else's trust like that would be good "friend" material.
love, Kath
Posted by Kath on September 18, 2009, at 21:06:58
In reply to Re: What would you think?, posted by TexasChic on September 17, 2009, at 19:29:49
Yeah - I found it a little jarring that they looked so young.
K
This is the end of the thread.
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