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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 3 to 27 of 27. Go back in thread:
Posted by jammerlich on January 20, 2008, at 21:17:43
In reply to Re: Slacker » jammerlich, posted by Kath on January 20, 2008, at 21:04:40
I just wheeled my trash to the curb for pick-up tomorrow (something I haven't done in several weeks). Does that count?
I have to say, it feels sort of good to have done it.
Posted by zenhussy on January 20, 2008, at 22:58:42
In reply to Slacker, posted by jammerlich on January 20, 2008, at 20:02:02
been up and down over Dec and Jan out this way. you're SO NOT ALONE in not taking down the decorations or using up every pot, pan, bowl, plate, etc. in the house.
one load at a time. took washtubs of dishes from kitch. into bathtub to wash since there wasn't room yet in kitch. started by washing five glases and slowly from there regained control of the kitchen counters and sink.
is this something that feels good sharing w/ the public here on PB? no. but it is the reality of the diseases/disorders lived w/.
hope you're not disgusted by this but instead encouraged that you're not alone and you will emerge from this "slacker" state as you call it.
Posted by zenhussy on January 20, 2008, at 23:00:03
In reply to Re: Slacker » Kath, posted by jammerlich on January 20, 2008, at 21:17:43
Posted by ClearSkies on January 21, 2008, at 7:27:20
In reply to Slacker, posted by jammerlich on January 20, 2008, at 20:02:02
I say take the smallest bites possible out of any task that you decide to do. One thing that's helped me when my surroundings have felt overwhelming has been to set a timer for 15 minutes, and worked on tidying up just for that proscribed time, and no more.
Don't worry about a list just yet - I've been there too! There seems to be too many things to do to be able to chase them down onto a piece of paper. Just schnibble. 15 minutes. Then give yourself a break. Your 5-item trip to the store sounds doable, maybe?
Take care, Jammer!
CS
Posted by karen_kay on January 21, 2008, at 8:03:17
In reply to Slacker, posted by jammerlich on January 20, 2008, at 20:02:02
i have a twin bed with your name on it!
(you may want to do the dishes before you leave though! that'd stink to come home to :)
((((((jammer))))))))
don't let things overwhelm you hun. cs (aka fancy pants) had a great idea, with the 15 minute timer. and if it makes you feel any better, we're still picking clothes out of laundry baskets from the move!
one day at a time (is that a soap?)!
love ya and i'm serious about the bed.
Posted by Dinah on January 21, 2008, at 9:25:41
In reply to Slacker, posted by jammerlich on January 20, 2008, at 20:02:02
It's not lame at all.
When I'm feeling overwhelmed, I try not to look at the big picture at all or I'll crawl back in bed. I narrow my focus to the smallest I can. I'll pick something I think I can do and try not to look one bit beyond that.
Well, I should say that that's what I eventually do when I'm feeling overwhelmed. First I crawl back into bed for a while.
Posted by seldomseen on January 21, 2008, at 10:49:02
In reply to Slacker, posted by jammerlich on January 20, 2008, at 20:02:02
It's not so bad. It's just a messy house. No biggee.
I have developed several strategies that have really proved helpful when I get in a situation like you are in.
1. Throw all of the dishes out and buy new ones. They are not that expensive and then, there, that task is done. Use paper from here on out. Pots and pans, the whole lot. About every year I replace my entire kitchen. No joke.
2. Big trash bags. Just pick up everything and throw it out. If it's been lying there for several weeks, you probably don't need it anyway.
3. Put everything that you think you might want to keep in one closet and close the door, you can sort it when you feel better. If you never get to it, throw it out.
4. Take your laundry to a laundry mat that has the triple loading machines. Wash all of it at once. Saves about 5 hours.
5. If you have the money, call a grocery store that delivers. I've paid the $20 surcharge and not regretted it a bit.
6. Call a friend and offer to split the cost of maid service. They get the maid one week, you get it the next. That way each of you only pays half and you get your house cleaned twice a month. I've done this before when I really felt bad and it was a godsend.
I hope this helps, if for nothing else to let you know that I've been there. Oh lord have I been there.
Seldom.
Posted by karen_kay on January 21, 2008, at 11:33:01
In reply to Re: Slacker » jammerlich, posted by seldomseen on January 21, 2008, at 10:49:02
you said "Oh lord have I been there."
for some reason, it really made me laugh. your tips are really good actually, but i fear we'd eat nothign here for weeks if i were to throw out all the dishes :)
i hear ya though! loud and clear! and i'm off to tackle laundry, dishes, regular 'duckie cleaning' (which in itself is overwhelming! how can a kid manage to make such a mess all freakin day long????!!!), and try to get clothes put in drawers...
Posted by Phillipa on January 21, 2008, at 12:15:39
In reply to Re: Slacker » seldomseen, posted by karen_kay on January 21, 2008, at 11:33:01
I think I beat you found black mold in garbage disposal disgusting and unhealhy and we don't run the dishwasher two people and I have no smell and smelled something coming from the diswasher so it's running with clorox no vacumming in a month. Would rather do anything but clean hence the bike riding in 30 degree weather in the dark. Phillipa
Posted by Phillipa on January 21, 2008, at 13:57:07
In reply to Re: Slacker, posted by Phillipa on January 21, 2008, at 12:15:39
I just vacummed the whole downstairs from this thread thanks to each and every one of you. Love Phillipa
Posted by jammerlich on January 21, 2008, at 15:28:48
In reply to had to wash dishes in tub-sink *was* unreachable » jammerlich, posted by zenhussy on January 20, 2008, at 22:58:42
Oh, Zen, I'm absolutely NOT disgusted. Thank you for sharing that with me. I'm sorry you've been struggling, too. Life sucks sometimes, huh?
And thanks for referring to "slacker" the way you did. It made it clear to me that it would be cruel to say about someone else, so I probably shouldn't say it to myself, either.
(((zenhussy)))
Posted by jammerlich on January 21, 2008, at 15:31:27
In reply to Not-Slacker » jammerlich, posted by ClearSkies on January 21, 2008, at 7:27:20
You're right, I'm not ready for a whole list. It's just felt like something ELSE hanging over my head. I did make it to the store, though. And got well over 5 things. I figured I was there so I might as well get more. I even put some of it away.....but only because it was cold/frozen and I HAD to!
Jammer
Posted by jammerlich on January 21, 2008, at 15:35:09
In reply to maybe you need some time away? » jammerlich, posted by karen_kay on January 21, 2008, at 8:03:17
And I'm serious about using the bed! But I'd kinda like to get something straight beforehand, OK? Last I heard, you and Mr. kk were sleeping in said twin bed and, imo, 3 is a crowd!! Of course, I'd be more than happy to share with you, dear. However, Mr. kk will have to make other plans.
Posted by jammerlich on January 21, 2008, at 15:38:48
In reply to Jammer » jammerlich, posted by Dinah on January 21, 2008, at 9:25:41
Thanks, Dinah. Bed still looks awfully appealing to me.
I think, out of necessity, I'll have to do a little. Everything tea related is dirty and I'll die of thirst w/o it (as well as eat anything I can get my hands on). Thankfully I can throw it all in the dishwasher.
Posted by jammerlich on January 21, 2008, at 15:41:29
In reply to Re: Slacker » jammerlich, posted by seldomseen on January 21, 2008, at 10:49:02
Goodness don't I wish we had a grocery store that delivered!! With that and Netflix, I might never leave home.
I'm impressed with your method. I'm far too attached to my things to do anything of the sort which, I suppose, could be a problem in and of itself.
Posted by jammerlich on January 21, 2008, at 15:43:28
In reply to Re: Thanks » Phillipa, posted by Phillipa on January 21, 2008, at 13:57:07
Good for you, Phillipa! I'm glad we helped inspire you. Let's hope I catch a little of what you've got!
Posted by karen_kay on January 21, 2008, at 17:01:25
In reply to Re: maybe you need some time away? » karen_kay, posted by jammerlich on January 21, 2008, at 15:35:09
lemme know when you're coming. the twin isn't uncomfortable either!
maybe i can tlak mister kk into sleeping in the twin and you and i can take the big bed???? hmmmmmm..... you do have big boobies, you wonderful woman you <insert envy>!
seriously, let me know,
kk
Posted by zenhussy on January 22, 2008, at 16:00:57
In reply to Re: had to wash dishes in tub-sink *was* unreachable » zenhussy, posted by jammerlich on January 21, 2008, at 15:28:48
>>> Oh, Zen, I'm absolutely NOT disgusted. Thank you for sharing that with me. I'm sorry you've been struggling, too. Life sucks sometimes, huh?<<<
yeah life has been full of struggle this winter. life IS a bit sucktacular lately.
>>>And thanks for referring to "slacker" the way you did. It made it clear to me that it would be cruel to say about someone else, so I probably shouldn't say it to myself, either.<<<you're SUCH a smartie Jammer!! Yep! so glad you picked up on that sweetie = )) how we think about ourselves and treat ourselves can impact our perspectives. good for you for realizing you have the ability to be KINDER to you
>>> (((zenhussy)))<<<aw, thanks! (((jammerlich)))
p.s. let us know how that bed is at the KK residence...whether or not it is worth the drive halfway across the country to snuggle in, okay? and fully agreed on moving mister KK to the spare bed and you and Ms. KK getting the marital bed. *grin*
Posted by Kath on January 22, 2008, at 20:42:23
In reply to Re: Slacker » Kath, posted by jammerlich on January 20, 2008, at 21:17:43
ANYTHING counts hunny!!!!
hugs, Kath
> I just wheeled my trash to the curb for pick-up tomorrow (something I haven't done in several weeks). Does that count?
>
> I have to say, it feels sort of good to have done it.
Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on January 26, 2008, at 0:17:47
In reply to had to wash dishes in tub-sink *was* unreachable » jammerlich, posted by zenhussy on January 20, 2008, at 22:58:42
> been up and down over Dec and Jan out this way. you're SO NOT ALONE in not taking down the decorations or using up every pot, pan, bowl, plate, etc. in the house.
>
> one load at a time. took washtubs of dishes from kitch. into bathtub to wash since there wasn't room yet in kitch. started by washing five glases and slowly from there regained control of the kitchen counters and sink.
>
> is this something that feels good sharing w/ the public here on PB? no. but it is the reality of the diseases/disorders lived w/.
>
> hope you're not disgusted by this but instead encouraged that you're not alone and you will emerge from this "slacker" state as you call it.
>
>
>No, I understand...completely. The apathy can be VERY overwhelming. I've let SO many things go in my depression and anxiety ridden states. I can end up just not caring...even down to personal appearance, in particular in really bad times. It's just all part of the 'disease'. If you can find someone to talk to about it all, that helps for me at least a bit. (Besides all of the doctors and meds and such..) Best wishes....and please believe in yourself....
Jay
Posted by bissie66 on February 1, 2008, at 10:35:54
In reply to Slacker, posted by jammerlich on January 20, 2008, at 20:02:02
Hi. Just wanted to say big THANKS to everyone who posted on this thread. Found this yesterday and it made me feel so much better. I suffer from this stuff BIG TIME but I have *never* had anyone understand like you all do!!! I've never even heard anyone be honest about it (i felt like I was alone). Nor have I witnessed the compassion you all have for each other. I have been beating myself up and hating myself for being unmotivated for sooo long. I'll keep coming back.
By the way -- how about being unmotivated when you have a kid (or more) to take care of? that SUCKS.
Posted by Dinah on February 1, 2008, at 11:42:49
In reply to Re: Slacker, posted by bissie66 on February 1, 2008, at 10:35:54
That is hard. How old are your kids, if you don't mind me asking?
I'm lucky in that my husband is inordinately responsible, and he's also good about driving me to do things.
I find that I go through distinct phases. For a while everything is so foggy and fuzzy and I try so very hard to work and do what I need to do. Other times I feel sharp and alert and work flies effortlessly from my fingers. I can't think it's a change in motivating myself, because if anything I work far harder (trying to make myself work) when I can't work than I do when I can.
I keep thinking there must be a physical component, but my doctors don't seem to agree.
Posted by bissie66 on February 1, 2008, at 12:30:44
In reply to Re: Slacker » bissie66, posted by Dinah on February 1, 2008, at 11:42:49
I don't mind your asking. My daughter just turned 5. She's a handful, and like yours, my husband is inordinately helpful. There have been periods I've had to be a single Mom and I don't remember how I survived. Meds must have been working. It seems like he does everything. I was thinking of starting a post about that -- spouses/partners who take care of us -- is it helpful or enabling?
You mentioned driving -- do you not drive? I have a job but I can't manage to go to the grocery store or do other errands so my husband does all that stuff.
I agree - I don't think it's about self-motivation. I've tried all that. The only time I'm motivated is when my meds are working well. Ugh.
> That is hard. How old are your kids, if you don't mind me asking?
>
> I'm lucky in that my husband is inordinately responsible, and he's also good about driving me to do things.
>
> I find that I go through distinct phases. For a while everything is so foggy and fuzzy and I try so very hard to work and do what I need to do. Other times I feel sharp and alert and work flies effortlessly from my fingers. I can't think it's a change in motivating myself, because if anything I work far harder (trying to make myself work) when I can't work than I do when I can.
>
> I keep thinking there must be a physical component, but my doctors don't seem to agree.
Posted by Dinah on February 3, 2008, at 15:08:04
In reply to Re: Slacker » Dinah, posted by bissie66 on February 1, 2008, at 12:30:44
My husband does a lot of the grocery shopping for staples, not because I can't so much as because he does it more economically. :) I don't really like the lights and sounds of the big stores, so I use them as seldom as possible. The smaller quieter stores tend to cost more. If I had my way, I think I'd never leave the house. I've always wanted to be an urban hermit.
My job takes up a lot of my energy. And in addition I have always been a scatterbrain, even in the best of times. My father called it an absent minded professor. My husband has less fond terms for it. He's good at prodding me.
I wish I could understand the reasons for the brain fog at times, while other times are fine. I know I must *seem* normal, since I have conversations and no one comments. But I feel like my brain has turned to thick molasses. Then there are the blessed days of clarity.
I wish it were as simple as making myself do something.
Posted by bissie66 on February 7, 2008, at 12:04:34
In reply to Re: Slacker » bissie66, posted by Dinah on February 3, 2008, at 15:08:04
It's so nice to 'talk' to someone who understands. I've always been afraid of grocery stores and other big stores like Wal-Mart (yikes). I agree with you too about staying home, although I feel better if I get out a little bit.
I'm a total scatterbrain too/absent minded professor type. Lose things, forget things, am always late. Brain fog is a term used for a hypothyroidism symptom, which I have. Do you have it? It's a yucky feeling for sure.
> My husband does a lot of the grocery shopping for staples, not because I can't so much as because he does it more economically. :) I don't really like the lights and sounds of the big stores, so I use them as seldom as possible. The smaller quieter stores tend to cost more. If I had my way, I think I'd never leave the house. I've always wanted to be an urban hermit.
>
> My job takes up a lot of my energy. And in addition I have always been a scatterbrain, even in the best of times. My father called it an absent minded professor. My husband has less fond terms for it. He's good at prodding me.
>
> I wish I could understand the reasons for the brain fog at times, while other times are fine. I know I must *seem* normal, since I have conversations and no one comments. But I feel like my brain has turned to thick molasses. Then there are the blessed days of clarity.
>
> I wish it were as simple as making myself do something.
This is the end of the thread.
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