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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 21 of 21. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on December 17, 2007, at 9:04:38
I saw the bus coming so I ran for it and the bus waited for me.
The bus driver said, "You're Welcome". That's when I realized I didn't say Thank-you. I'm just not very good at social situations.
Then for the whole bus ride I felt bad about it. So then when he got to my stop I got up the courage to apologize for not saying, "Thank-you" to the bus driver. Only it wasn't my stop yet. Because of my ruminations I didn't realize this bus went downtown. I was going downtown.
So then I got back on the bus. Then when the next stop was my Uni, I went to apologize again and I started crying.
Anyways, right now I'm waiting for my pdoc appointment at 10:30 am and I'm still crying.
I was wandering a bit for a while after I got off the bus. Didn't know what I was doing or where I was going.
I'm not normal.
Now I'm going to think about this all day, maybe more than a day.
I hate this. In the past this is the time where I would want to die.
I'm better now in that I don't want to die, I just want to disappear.
I don't know how to get over this. I'm just going to have to wait to forget this.
Posted by Phillipa on December 17, 2007, at 12:00:46
In reply to I'm an idiot :-(, posted by Deneb on December 17, 2007, at 9:04:38
Good timing with the pdoc appointment he will see the real Deneb. Now that it's over what did he say? And your're not an idiot. You just forgot. Phillipa
Posted by Racer on December 17, 2007, at 12:02:00
In reply to I'm an idiot :-(, posted by Deneb on December 17, 2007, at 9:04:38
I think we've all done that sort of thing, Deneb. It's nice that you wanted to thank the bus driver -- that's a very generous impulse, and it does you credit. A lot of people wouldn't even think of it.
The trick now is to learn to put the thought out of your head. Unless you know a little dog in spectacles with a Way Back Machine, the only thing you can do now is remind yourself to thank the bus driver next time, and then move on with your day.
I hope you feel better soon.
Posted by seldomseen on December 17, 2007, at 12:47:02
In reply to I'm an idiot :-(, posted by Deneb on December 17, 2007, at 9:04:38
No you are not an idiot at all. I also don't think that forgetting to say "thank-you" to the bus driver qualifies one as "bad in social situations".
Getting off at the wrong bus stop - well, that's called just getting distracted, and you were probably just distracted.
Let's turn this around a bit, that bus driver sounds pretty rude to me with that sarcastic "you're welcome". Odds are you would have remembered to say thank you as you were getting off the bus anyway.
He didn't even give you a chance.
Seldom.
Posted by Deneb on December 18, 2007, at 0:21:58
In reply to You're not an idiot » Deneb, posted by Racer on December 17, 2007, at 12:02:00
Thanks Racer. I feel better now. A day of work seemed to distance myself from the incident.
My pdoc/T seems to think it wasn't about the bus driver at all. She seemed to think it was about me feeling subconsciously bad about not thanking more important people in my life, like my Mom.
I'm not sure if she is correct, but now I do feel kind of bad about not helping my Mom.
Posted by Michael83 on December 18, 2007, at 5:33:07
In reply to I'm an idiot :-(, posted by Deneb on December 17, 2007, at 9:04:38
I feel easily embarrassed like that a lot Deneb. But I always think, "how would I feel if someone did that to me?" I'm usually very very forgiving of people for small things like that. So I hope most others are too. If they're not, then they're the one with the problem, not you.
Additionally though, you're a girl, so people will be naturally more forgiving to you. =p That bus driver has probably forgotten about what happened and will never think of it again. Probably happens all the time.
Posted by Kath on December 19, 2007, at 21:10:44
In reply to Re: You're not an idiot, posted by Deneb on December 18, 2007, at 0:21:58
Deneb, I'm glad you're feeling better about this so quickly.
I think anyone who is sensitive might feel badly if the same thing happened to them.
I once read of a method to help put things in persprecive - I'll give this example that I read:
A man invited his boss & wife to dinner. The man & his wife prepared a nice dinner for the boss & wife. When the man passed the gravy to his boss, he jiggled the dish & spilled some on the boss! He felt awful - even into the next day, but then used this method to help him "chill out" about it & put it into perspective..... He wrote an epitaph for his gravestone. "Here lies Bob M, who invited his boss to dinner & spilled gravy on him!"
So in this case: "Here lies Deneb, who forgot, one day, to say Thank You to the bus driver"
I used a similar method to jar some sense into myself the other day. My son now has not only a part-time job, but a girlfriend. This is something that should make me really happy. But my anxious tendency leads me to think of ANYthing to worry about! So I was worrying about the fact that he told me she likes to drink & that they drank a whole lot of beers on the weekend. SO - in my book where I write FACTS on the left side of the page & my feelings, triggered stuff, etc on the right, I wrote the fact on the left & on the right, I wrote something like: "WHAT a situation! My 23 yr old son & his 18 year old girlfriend like to drink & party. How shocking! For heaven sake, they should know better. At that age they should be sober, responsible, staid, mature, & enjoy just sitting quietly on the weekends!"
When I read it & even when I was writing it, I was thinking "For Heaven's Sake Kath - CHILL OUT - it's not as nobody else of their age does that."
Of course I'd rather they didn't, but it is by no means the end of the world.
I'm so glad you're doing better Deneb. It's really apparent to me.
I send ya hugs, luv, Kath
Posted by Dinah on December 20, 2007, at 8:00:05
In reply to The 'tombstone' exercise............ :-) » Deneb, posted by Kath on December 19, 2007, at 21:10:44
I like that exercise. :)
Posted by Toph on December 20, 2007, at 17:06:41
In reply to I'm an idiot :-(, posted by Deneb on December 17, 2007, at 9:04:38
Your scenario reminds me of my wife when we are driving and I get all huffy when someone is driving slowly or isn't paying attention when the light turns green. I'll mutter someting unkind and she'll say to me, "You know, their mother just might have died." Wives say stuff like that all the time.
Anyway, if that bus driver had been insightful and considerate, he just might have recognized that you were distracted or he could have simply assumed so. Maybe he doesn't have a wife.
Posted by Kath on December 21, 2007, at 21:42:05
In reply to Re: I'm » Deneb, posted by Toph on December 20, 2007, at 17:06:41
Good point. My daughter will remind me of that type of thing if I'm complaining about someone being grumpy or stand-offish etc.
Kath
Posted by Toph on January 9, 2008, at 0:09:24
In reply to Re: I'm » Toph, posted by Kath on December 21, 2007, at 21:42:05
Sorry I overlooked your post Kath. I'm kind of a sporatic poster.
Sometimes my kids teach me more than I guide them these days.
Posted by Kath on January 9, 2008, at 20:39:00
In reply to Re: I'm » Kath, posted by Toph on January 9, 2008, at 0:09:24
How old are your kids Toph?
:-) Kath
Posted by Toph on January 10, 2008, at 8:39:41
In reply to Re: I'm » Toph, posted by Kath on January 9, 2008, at 20:39:00
Well, since you asked, my oldest is a waiter at Tarvern on Rush, a swanky restaurant in Chicago where he may make more cash than I. He is trying to get into sales for one of the large pharmaceutical companies in this area. He lives with his wonderful girlfriend in Chicago. He and I have issues but we work on them. My daughter has had this uncanny sense of direction since high school. She is a first grade teacher and has a career at age 23 something that took me at least a decade longer to find. She has a new boyfriend who is completing his English major and is quite an intellectual (a great relief since she finally dumped the loser boyfriend of 6 years). My youngest daughter is a braniac but can't seem to find a direction. She has been kind of a praying mantis who would eat her boyfriends after a few weeks. This latest guy has lasted 7 months! She is studying for the LSATs (last month it was the peace corps). Her mom worries about her more than I. I think she'll be fine cause she is a bright and lovely child who has excelled at almost every endeavor she has attempted.
Thanks for asking.
Posted by Kath on January 10, 2008, at 12:09:25
In reply to Re: kids » Kath, posted by Toph on January 10, 2008, at 8:39:41
You are so fortunate. I'm so happy for you.
(and proud of myself that I don't feel envious).
I do so wish that my kids didn't have such major problems! :-(
But I am SO pleased for you. I'm sure it will work out with your youngest! I'm really sure. The main thing is that she doesn't sound like she's into drugs, etc. (to know what THAT's like, just look at some of my posts!!).
((((((((((((((((you & your family))))))))))))))
Kath
Posted by Toph on January 10, 2008, at 15:54:36
In reply to Wow, posted by Kath on January 10, 2008, at 12:09:25
We're not out of the woods yet, Kath. #1 is still narcissistic and has honesty issues, #2 isn't the greatest sister to #3, and #3 takes medication for depression. I was just boasting that they all graduated, are working and appear to have halfway decent relationships. Somehow we avoided drug problems. Maybe they were afraid they'd get what I have.
Posted by Larry Hoover on January 10, 2008, at 16:57:12
In reply to Re: Now » Kath, posted by Toph on January 10, 2008, at 15:54:36
> Maybe they were afraid they'd get what I have.
Modesty?
Posted by Kath on January 10, 2008, at 19:11:33
In reply to Re: Now » Kath, posted by Toph on January 10, 2008, at 15:54:36
> We're not out of the woods yet, Kath. #1 is still narcissistic and has honesty issues, #2 isn't the greatest sister to #3, and #3 takes medication for depression. I was just boasting that they all graduated, are working and appear to have halfway decent relationships. Somehow we avoided drug problems. Maybe they were afraid they'd get what I have.
Interesting - it shows that things can be different from what appears 'on the surface'. I hope everything turns out well for all your kids in the end.
:-) Kath
Posted by Toph on January 11, 2008, at 16:09:18
In reply to Re: Now » Toph, posted by Larry Hoover on January 10, 2008, at 16:57:12
Posted by Larry Hoover on January 11, 2008, at 16:33:01
In reply to a difficult compliment to accept if true (nm) » Larry Hoover, posted by Toph on January 11, 2008, at 16:09:18
You're a good dad, with good kids. 'nuff said.
Lar
Posted by Larry Hoover on January 11, 2008, at 16:38:52
In reply to a difficult compliment to accept if true (nm) » Larry Hoover, posted by Toph on January 11, 2008, at 16:09:18
Your reply proves it, n'est-ce pas?
Lar
Posted by Toph on January 11, 2008, at 16:55:29
In reply to P.S. » Toph, posted by Larry Hoover on January 11, 2008, at 16:38:52
This is the end of the thread.
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