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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on January 6, 2008, at 18:54:22
I'm going to tell them I need to go take a tranquilizer and to call back in half an hour.
Posted by Kath on January 6, 2008, at 20:23:05
In reply to Whenever my family calls, posted by Dinah on January 6, 2008, at 18:54:22
Sounds like it's massively stressful for you when they call!!
Even if you don't SAY it to them, you could do it!
(((((((((((Dinah)))))))))))
Posted by Dinah on January 6, 2008, at 21:03:53
In reply to Re: Whenever my family calls » Dinah, posted by Kath on January 6, 2008, at 20:23:05
Yes, that sounds like a good idea. Especially when they start off the conversation "I have something important to talk to you about." I can claim I must take a break and will call them back shortly.
I'm so impressed with you, Kath. My inclination with family stress is to run for the hills and never come back.
Posted by Phillipa on January 7, 2008, at 0:01:02
In reply to Re: Whenever my family calls » Kath, posted by Dinah on January 6, 2008, at 21:03:53
How bout an answering machine or a cell phone that takes messages. That's what I do. Phillipa
Posted by Dinah on January 7, 2008, at 17:41:45
In reply to Re: Whenever my family calls » Dinah, posted by Phillipa on January 7, 2008, at 0:01:02
I probably overstated things a bit.
My mother doesn't call often, since she's got family living with her right now. But she calls now and then to say hi, and it's fine.
It's when she calls to talk about something in particular that I want to hide under the covers or head to Tahiti.
Posted by Kath on January 7, 2008, at 20:48:01
In reply to Re: Whenever my family calls » Phillipa, posted by Dinah on January 7, 2008, at 17:41:45
SO - if it's not just a 'hi how are things' call, you really COULD say (even if you'd already done a few sentences), something like, "You know what, Mom - I don't want to be rushed while we're talking. There's something I have to take care of (or finish - or even fewer details). I'll call you back as soon as I can - probably within __ minutes"
I bet if you have a plan in place it'd feel WAY better. Come to think of it, I might adjust that for myself! Of course my trigger person would be my son!
I send hugs, Kath
Posted by Dinah on January 7, 2008, at 21:02:32
In reply to Re: Whenever my family calls » Dinah, posted by Kath on January 7, 2008, at 20:48:01
I like that!
Then I'd have fewer aftercalls to apologize for blowing up. :)
Dinah
Posted by Dinah on January 7, 2008, at 21:05:03
In reply to Re: Whenever my family calls » Dinah, posted by Kath on January 7, 2008, at 20:48:01
I also need to really really really practice...
"(Insert name of family member), if (insert name of other family member) has something to tell me or ask me, please ask them to call me themselves. Things get too confused when I hear everything secondhand."
Sometimes the stress comes from trying to sort out fact from interpretation.
Posted by Phillipa on January 7, 2008, at 21:19:10
In reply to Re: Whenever my family calls » Kath, posted by Dinah on January 7, 2008, at 21:05:03
Dinah doing a bit of that myself right now. Phillipa
Posted by Kath on January 7, 2008, at 21:22:04
In reply to Re: Whenever my family calls » Kath, posted by Dinah on January 7, 2008, at 21:05:03
Sounds perfect.....
When I was dealing with my ex-husband, I actually wrote on a paper I kept beside the phone WHAT I needed to say.
I think a note by your phone would be great - even in code if you don't want anyone else to know what it says.
luv ya, Kath
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