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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by TexasChic on June 10, 2007, at 22:26:41
I went to my Mom's today to get together for my brother's birthday. I spent the night at my friend's house - about and hour and a half trip from my house, but close to my Mom's and sister's. Plus I hadn't seen my friend in a while. We had a relaxing night drinking apple martinis and just chatting.
This morning I went to pick up my brother and take him to my mom's (about an hour round trip) then I went back and get my sister and nephew and her boyfriend (another 40 minute round trip). I finally get there and even though I'm an hour later than planned, my mom is still another hour behind. This is usual because she tries to plan too much, so I did my best to help, with everyone else sitting around. Well, first I tried to keep my nephew entertained because my mom always ends up being uneccessarily strict with him. Everyone always talks over him and tells him to be quite and when he finally ends up acting out to get attention my mom overeacts and freaks out. Then my sister gets mad at my mom for getting on to him, my sister's boyfriend usually also gets on to him or throws in something idiotic, and in the mean time my brother is trying to talk to me about something else entirely. So I'm trying to keep him occupied by interacting with him and my mom asks me to help her. So I go help her, talk her out of doing uneccessarily complicated things so we can eat (of course everyone except me hasn't eaten ALL DAY!) and my nephew get in trouble for being to loud or something stupid.
We manage to get through the meal and put on a movie for my nephew. As he and I are discussing what it going on my mom says, "Shhhhh, I can't hear!" I tell her we have to be able to speak to each other and she gets all mad. This goes on and on with her getting on to my nephew and getting all mad every time he asks a question about the movie. He's nine and this movie is FOR HIM! Things continue this way (with plenty of, "If you were LISTENING you would know what's going on!") and I finally tell my mom if she doesn't stop I'm leaving. At some point I take my nephew to the kitchen to wash his hands and he's wanting to use the dish soap instead of the hand soap and as I'm trying to explain to him my mom comes over and jerks his hand away. He starts crying and she throws up her hands and says she didn't hurt him he's just putting on. I finally take him outside for a while and after I bring him back in things continue is much the same way.
Finally they finish the stupid kid's movie that my nephew hasn't even watched but for some reason we had to wait until the end of before we leave, and my mom agrees to take my brother home if I'll take my sister and her brood home. Keep in mind I still have a 1 hour to 1 1/2 drive home ahead of me.
My sister had asked earlier if I could take them by the store on the way home, and not realizing how exhausted I'd be I had already said yes. Plus my nephew had been given some money from an uncle and she had told him he could pick out a toy at the store. We go in and I go with my nephew to pick out a toy and he just WILL NOT settle on anything in the price range of the money he has! I had given him a dollar to go with what he had and was trying to teach him the value of money and all, but at this point I was at my wits end. So I said, "We'll just go ask your mom about this". I find her (thinking she will tell him he has to stay within his price range) but she says she will pay the difference and I'm just like, "Sh*t this kid is never going to learn ANYTHING!"
Well, I finally got them and myself home, but I feel like a nervous wreck. I've drank all my wine but it just isn't enough. I do feel better after pouring this all out though. It might not make complete sense, but I had to get it out. Thanks for listening.
-T
Posted by TexasChic on June 10, 2007, at 22:29:24
In reply to My family makes me crazy, posted by TexasChic on June 10, 2007, at 22:26:41
I'm sorry, I took so long to write all that, that now I have to go to bed. But I will read any responses tomorrow. Thanks!
-T
Posted by scratchpad on June 11, 2007, at 8:57:33
In reply to My family makes me crazy, posted by TexasChic on June 10, 2007, at 22:26:41
It sounds so chaotic, TC! I would need at least a bottle of wine to medicate after such a visit. For me, the craziness comes from trying to exert control over other people's actions. Your mom's, your nephew's - they are all going to do exactly what they are going to do. We either have to give in to their craziness and watch it like a circus side show, or we can drive ourselves into a frenzy trying to change it.
One thing you can do, though, is carry out a threat to remove yourself from the place. If you say, "I'm going to leave if you guys don't stop this!" then that's what you should do! Or maybe give yourself a time out - walk out the front door, go for a short drive or a walk, and calm yourself down. Tell yourself how crazy these people are, and try to laugh about it. (Your mom sounds like a whack-a-doodle!) Then when you're ready, you can walk back in with your inner peace intact, and watch the second act.This is what I'm trying to do with my step daughter, who lives a life filled with self-created drama and crises. I used to get really angry with how irresponsible she is, and now I just kind of watch and try to guess when the next crash is going to happen. I love her, of course; and I offer my help. But I no longer get myself involved personally in her life story, as it makes me crazy too. And honestly, I don't think I handle it very well.
hugs to you,
Scratchpad
Posted by kid47 on June 11, 2007, at 10:28:21
In reply to My family makes me crazy, posted by TexasChic on June 10, 2007, at 22:26:41
but it did make for an interesting and darkly funny story. I like the way you write.
Peace
kid
Posted by TexasChic on June 11, 2007, at 19:57:19
In reply to Re: My family makes me crazy » TexasChic, posted by scratchpad on June 11, 2007, at 8:57:33
Whack-a-doodle! That describes her perfectly! Thanks for the support and advice. I'm too tired to respond properly, but I do appreciate it.
-T
Posted by TexasChic on June 11, 2007, at 20:04:41
In reply to Sorry about the craziness...... » TexasChic, posted by kid47 on June 11, 2007, at 10:28:21
Thanks! I thought that was a jumbled mess so I appreciate that. It started off as one big paragraph.
-T
P.S KK told me to watch out for you.
Posted by Phillipa on June 11, 2007, at 21:45:18
In reply to Re: Sorry about the craziness...... » kid47, posted by TexasChic on June 11, 2007, at 20:04:41
Pass the wine haven't had a drink in ll years.I could use one to relax. Love Phillipa
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