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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Bob on January 19, 2007, at 13:24:46
I am experiencing increasing social problems and isolation from my mental illness, and do not know where it's all leading (although I can imagine). One of the biggest problems is the people around me expecting me to be able to fulfull obligations and engage is social activities. It is getting harder and harder to go out, to the point where sometimes going to dinner and a movie is a challenge. I can still do that, luckily. The biggest problem is taking trips. My girlfriend went to Cambodia (visiting family) last year, and was very unhappy that I didn't go. Now she wants to go to FL next month (to visit my parents), go on a cruise in April (she wins trips all the time from her job), and then go to Italy in July (for my old friends wedding).
It is very unlikely that I will be able to go on any of these trips, and she says she understands, but when the time comes, she claims that I don't WANT to go, and that I'm not being fair. It hurts immeasurably to hear that, as I desire so intensely to have a good, full life. People don't seem to see the physical problems I have, and think I'm just stubborn and unwilling. Every day is a trial, and it is just as difficult physically as it is mentally many times.
My father said that for this past Christmas, he didn't want me to give him a gift per se, but to come down to FL, where he now spends the winter, and play some rounds of golf with him. He honestly (and disappointingly) is under the misconception that I am healthy enought to spend 4 hours out on a golf course.
Nobody in my life seems to realize that, not only can I not do these things, but I'm the last person in the world who wants to be this way. Suggestions are made like; well why can't you just make a sacrifice for me once? Thing is, what happens after I make that sacrifice (which I don't know if I can do) and it is forgotten a week later? Then the next sacrifice is looming. I can't live like that. Actually, I took a 3 day beach trip in the summer with my gf, and she was very happy, but it was very, very difficult for me.
Ultimately, I guess the writing is on the wall. It seems this is one of the things that eventually makes life not worth living when you have a disease like this - you increasingly cannot participate in life, and those around start to drift away. I honestly see not solution after 15+ years of medecines, and ECT treatment. What's more, the true nature of severe depression and the disablility that can stem from it are almost whole beyond the comprehension of healthy people - even those close to you.
Posted by Phillipa on January 19, 2007, at 14:02:03
In reply to Increasing isolation, posted by Bob on January 19, 2007, at 13:24:46
I just recently did what you tried time in Florida at my Daughters. That in itself was difficult enough. Then we get there and oh we're going to my Boss's for dinner. I managed four hours there felt good about myself went back to her house with my husband feeling good walked the dogs then lay down to relax she comes in a couple hours later with her husband says Christmas tomorrow we're going to Busch Gardens I said No she got mad big fight we came home on Christmas Day. I had just accomplished something very big for me and still not over her fury at not going to Busch Gardens. I know how you feel. It's not easy. People professionals say take baby steps. That's what I was doing now set back. So other than the baby steps of CBT don't know what else to say accept truly understand. Love phillipa
Posted by Bob on January 19, 2007, at 16:52:13
In reply to Re: Increasing isolation » Bob, posted by Phillipa on January 19, 2007, at 14:02:03
Yes, baby steps. That's all well and fine, until like you described, you come into other social situations. Going on trips overseas, and other such extended vacations involves giving up almost complete control. Healthy people don't understand that when you get to the cruise ship there are all kinds of activities and port stops almost every day. Sure you can hang in your cabin room, but it just pisses everyone off.
My GF went to Cambodia last year, and when she got back was very tired. Turns out they were on the go for over 3 weeks, with all kinds of day trips out to the country and what not. Rustic road trips would not be easy at all.
I'm not sure what will happen if and when I get to FL, because I'm sure not one will be willing to accept me sitting on the couch.
Posted by TexasChic on January 20, 2007, at 18:23:11
In reply to Re: Increasing isolation » Phillipa, posted by Bob on January 19, 2007, at 16:52:13
I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. Are you seeing a therapist? I would ask a T how to explain this to people. I wish I had more advice, but I just don't know the answer. If you find out anything helpful, let us know! I'm sure a lot of people suffer from this.
-T
Posted by Bob on January 21, 2007, at 15:20:40
In reply to Re: Increasing isolation » Bob, posted by TexasChic on January 20, 2007, at 18:23:11
This is the end of the thread.
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