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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by StaciW on April 24, 2005, at 18:45:29
Hi,
I've been working in a software company as a contractor for past 10 months (high-stress environment - seem to be drawn to these even though I know they make it more difficult for me to stay well):-) I was diag BP over 10 yrs ago, take my meds, but still find it difficult to manage all the "stimulations" of a busy work environment. I do well in a job for about 6-7 months then poop out. I don't know how to pace and stuggle to find a balence it seems. Counseling seems to help intermitantly. I am stuggling with giving up this high-paying/status job for who knows what type of future and a lower-stress job. Has anyone else gone through this inner battle and what helped ease your decision? Should I bring up my battle with my employer to see if there is any flexibility in work arrangements? How much does Stress impact our illness pattern? My PDoc pushes me to stay in the job, while I hear other friends who say their PDocs would say get out of there, it's only a matter of time before you make yourself sick. Plus I commute close to 100 miles a day....need some advice, thanks.
Posted by Phillipa on April 24, 2005, at 18:49:58
In reply to Stuggling to stay in High-Stress Work Enviroment-, posted by StaciW on April 24, 2005, at 18:45:29
l00 miles a day! Couldn't you find something closer to home? I would think that would help. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by StaciW on April 24, 2005, at 19:20:05
In reply to Re: Stuggling to stay in High-Stress Work Enviroment- » StaciW, posted by Phillipa on April 24, 2005, at 18:49:58
> l00 miles a day! Couldn't you find something closer to home? I would think that would help. Fondly, Phillipa
Hi Phillipa, thanks for the response - no high tech near my home, cosest is in the Valley 50 miles away. I could change careers and lean more on my husband, but truly enjoy the passion and intellectual challenge of my work.
This is the Silicon Valley, you go where the work is unfortunately. Where I lvie there is little industry, mostly a beach town. The commute is horrendous, but necesarry. I own a home and don't want to move into the Silicon Valley.
I was looking for perhaps some stories from others who have transitioned out of high-stress jobs to less stress, some comfort from others stories, and I know they are out there, would be awesome.
Posted by Phillipa on April 24, 2005, at 19:44:46
In reply to Re: Stuggling to stay in High-Stress Work Envirome, posted by StaciW on April 24, 2005, at 19:20:05
Have you ever considered a home based business? Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by fallsfall on April 24, 2005, at 21:11:39
In reply to Stuggling to stay in High-Stress Work Enviroment-, posted by StaciW on April 24, 2005, at 18:45:29
I am/was a software engineer. At the height of my career, I managed a department of 44 engineer and 20 college co-op students for a company that was just barely past the startup phase.
I crashed 10 years ago, and have been on disability for 8 of the last 10 years. For 2 years in the middle I worked for a startup, and then crashed again.
I have straight depression, not bipolar. I am currently trying to get the courage up to work with the local vocational rehabilitation center to possibly allow me to get a Library Science degree and change careers and become a librarian. I work 10 hours a week in my local library now.
I am a recovering workaholic. Much of my self definition/esteem came from my work. Going out on disability was excruciating, contemplating going back to work is even more excruciating.
The library atmosphere is so different from software. The pay is different, too.
Do you know what else you might like to do?
Posted by JenStar on April 24, 2005, at 23:10:33
In reply to Stuggling to stay in High-Stress Work Enviroment-, posted by StaciW on April 24, 2005, at 18:45:29
hi Staci,
I gave up a high-paced high level technical job to pursue a career in the arts -- a COMPLETE 180 turn! At first it was extremely difficult, because I had identified myself so closely with my job title and my work. It was hard NOT to be able to introduce myself as "so and so" from "this company".I was able to do it only becuase my husband has been very supportive of me, and because our finances allowed us to get by on one salary (pretty much!). It was difficult to leave my high pay, but I was really itching to try something else. I'm glad I did it. I'm not making a lot of money (yet, hopefully), but I know I can always go back to the tech world if I need to or start missing it too much. I know I can't have my old job back, but I'm confident I could get SOMETHING and work my way back up.
Remember that your skills stay with YOU, not the company. If you leave, you CAN come back to a similar job in the future. If your finances can afford it, and your spouse is supportive, there is nothing wrong with trying something different. You only live once! It's ok to take risks sometimes. I would say, though, to make sure that you REALLY want to leave. If it's just a temporary burst of stress, don't make a rash decision. But if it's something you really want to do, then go and see what else is out there. (my 2 cents worth!)
Good luck with the decision. I hope you're happy with whatever choice you end up making! Keep us updated. :)
take care,
JenStar
Posted by JenStar on April 24, 2005, at 23:27:07
In reply to Stuggling to stay in High-Stress Work Enviroment-, posted by StaciW on April 24, 2005, at 18:45:29
hi Staci,
it's JenStar here again! The other thing I have to share is that my anxiety/depression didn't go away just because I switched jobs. While I truly enjoyed the change, and was glad I did it, my anxiety (sticky little pest that it is) decided to come along for the ride, too. I guess that even though my new job is SUPPOSED to be "lower stress" that isn't necessarily the case, esp. because I was starting fresh and developing new skills.Also, sometimes I think that high-tech jobs in 'brand name' companies can be very reassuring. YOu have the whole corporate structure to float you, provide guidance, regular pay, rules/regs, and a social structure. Starting your own business can be tough and lonely in addition to being not so well paid at first. Also, "moving down a notch" to a company with people who are not as well educated or not as good at conflict resolution can be extremely frustrating.
Have you ever read a book called Nickel and Dimed by Barbara Ehrenreich? She was a writer who went 'undercover' to work in jobs like maid service and min. wage waitessing to see if it was possible to make a decent wage. Her experiences sounded awful and difficult. It made me regret complaining about my relativey cushy-by-comparison job. Now I'm sure you're not contemplating such a dramatic change, but I think that any change of routine can be hard at first!
So I guess I'm saying that for me, the transition from jobs was wrenching and difficult at first, and that it wasn't completely stress-free. I'm happy but still working on managing anxiety. While I definitely advocate trying something new if you want to (it worked for me!), the stress is still there.
Maybe your Pdoc is encouraging you to stay because he/she worries that you'll be even MORE stressed if you leave, hoping to be happy, and instead end up depressed because you're still anxious and stressed at a different job, only now you're poor too....
Anyway, I just wanted to share my thoughts on changing careers. I have actually thought about it a LOT, and I definitely wish you the best of luck with stress regardless of whether you stay or go.
good luck!
take care,
JenStar
Posted by Dinah on April 25, 2005, at 7:35:28
In reply to Re: Stuggling to stay in High-Stress Work Enviroment- » StaciW, posted by JenStar on April 24, 2005, at 23:27:07
That's why my therapist encourages me to stay in a high stress job I hate. He thinks it would be even worse for me to deal with the stress of change, and that in some ways my current job is better for me than any other one I could get.
Posted by AuntieMel on April 25, 2005, at 15:02:15
In reply to Stuggling to stay in High-Stress Work Enviroment-, posted by StaciW on April 24, 2005, at 18:45:29
Right. I'm in software, too, and find it difficult to manage.
On the other hand, not using my brain would cause me more stress. I'm way too easily bored.
Is there a chance you can telecommute a couple of days a week? Nothing like working in a bathrobe to de-stress the job.
Posted by Phillipa on April 25, 2005, at 16:41:49
In reply to Re: Stuggling to stay in High-Stress Work Envirome » StaciW, posted by AuntieMel on April 25, 2005, at 15:02:15
My daughter was working in a bank. She hated it and saw a pdoc who put her on prozac. She quit the job, got one in attorney's office, and was also able to quit the prozac. She feels the stress of not liking her job caused the depression and anxiety. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by TamaraJ on April 25, 2005, at 20:12:14
In reply to Stuggling to stay in High-Stress Work Enviroment-, posted by StaciW on April 24, 2005, at 18:45:29
Hi,
I know what you mean about being drawn to fast-paced, high stress environments. I have spent the past 15 years in such an environment, and, where I work, a 10-11 hour day (at the office, with another couple of hours of "home work") is what can be expected when things are quiet. Anyway, if you like the job as well as the salary, it probably is your best interest to talk to your boss about alternative work arrangements and how to best achieve a good work/personal life balance. First, is it absolutely necessary for you to be on-site in order to do your job? I ask because one thing you could raise with your boss, given that you are a contractor with this software company, is possibly working from home 1 or 2 days a week. This could possibly reduce your stress in two ways: 1) by eliminating the 100 mile commute a couple of days a week (I imagine the drive itself must add the stress); and 2) allowing you to work in the comfort of your own home away from the sometimes stressful interactions that can go on in an office. Some people may think that getting out of the stressful, environment and finding a job that is not as fast-paced is the answer. That isn't necessarily the best thing for people who thrive, for the most part, in a fast-paced environment. A slow pace and little pressure can actually prove demoralizing and depressing for people who are used to and need the fast pace (if that makes any sense). I remember years ago (before I started working where I am now) having a job that was just way too slow for me. Anyway, I found myself leaving work in tears at the end of the day and feeling more and more tired because I felt so useless and under-utilized. Eliminating stress can have as much of a negative effect as stress can IMO.
I don't know about you, but I find that I am the worst sabatoger of my own work-personal life balance. I put unreasonable demands on myself which, at times, compounds the stress that comes with working in a fast-paced environment. This may or may not apply to you, but I have found that I need to learn to ask myself at times whether: it is necessary for me to work 11 hours a day, 5 days a week; I have to take all the calls from the office when I am supposed to be on holidays; I should over-shoot rather than under-shoot when I can achieve a deliverable, particularly when I am already dealing with multiple deliverables; and, finally, whether I am over-extending myself because I want to prove just how capable and valuable I am to the organization. I guess that is where therapy could be useful - it can help a person identify the behaviours and thought patterns that drive the person to do well and go above and beyond that first year in a new job and why perhaps those behaviours and thought patterns are what can cause the person to burn out to some degree or come to question their ability or desire to succeed in a fast-paced, stressful environment.Good luck to you. Take care.
Tamara
Posted by Phillipa on April 25, 2005, at 20:32:38
In reply to Re: Stuggling to stay in High-Stress Work Enviroment- » StaciW, posted by TamaraJ on April 25, 2005, at 20:12:14
I just had my husband read this Thread. He thought it might be useful to hear his story. He worked as a supervisor of the paint and graphics dept at Fountain Powerboats. When I met him he worked around 9 hours a day and an occasional half Saturday. As time went on the hours kept increasing as his Boss doesn't really understand what goes into a custom paint job on very expensive boats. At the same time my illness surfaced, and I needed him home more. I was literally terrified to be alone in the house after dark and again on Weekends. By now the job entailed working from 5am till sometimes 2am in the morning. No time off for this and back again by 6 or 7 in the am. He finally had to go to his boss and resign from being Supervisor and just be one of the painters. He took a considerable pay cut but now we could have weekends to travel to our condo for the weekends, and he was home by 5 when it became dark. He was extremely resenful of this for a long while. We ultimately moved to the beach and he tried to start his own customized painting. He did very well last summer as he has an incredible reputation. He even had 3 Fountain boats contracted out to him as they were swamped. Being at the beach it died during the winter. Now the calls are beginning to come in again from past clients so we are hopeful. But when he painted here I was free to come with him and he even taught me to "pull and tape" boats. He has painted boats for Ross Perot, President Bush, and many other famous people. I just hope it works out for us as right now we are living off savings. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by pinkeye on April 25, 2005, at 20:38:53
In reply to Stuggling to stay in High-Stress Work Enviroment-, posted by StaciW on April 24, 2005, at 18:45:29
Hi Staci,
100 miles of commute a day must be adding more stress to you than the job does. If there is any way you can work out an alternative arrangment so you don't spend that much time in traffic would be the first ideal thing. Including selling your home and moving to near your work for a brief time - couple of years or renting your own house and renting somehting nearby.If that wouldn't work, talk to your manager about working from home once a week. Some companies do allow that.
If that wouldn't work either, take up a job which allows working from home lot of times in the high tech itself - I know companies like Sun and Oracle allow that. A friend of mine works 5 days a week from home in Sun.
If that also wouldn't work, transition to part time work if possible in the same field - maybe where you work 4 hours per day would be a compromise.
If that alos doesn't work, work only for a few months in a year in the high tech field. Since you are a contractor, it should be somewhat easy to work for 6 months, take a month off, and then do something else during that time, and then work for 6 months again.You could also try some other stress coping techniques like time management, or meditation, or even simply getting up early in the day to allow yourself time to relax.
I also work in such a field and I know how hard it could be sometimes, especially when you go through depression and stuff. It is so higly demanding and it very stressful.
Transitioning to other less stress ful job is a good idea. But the pay may not be as good and it might lead to other stresses. Also if you personality is such that you tend to basically get stressed more than warranted, then a simple job change wouldn't change that.
This is the end of the thread.
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