Psycho-Babble Social Thread 239637

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Re: Zenhussy from the archives » All Done

Posted by partlycloudy on April 13, 2005, at 12:03:34

In reply to Re: Zenhussy from the archives » partlycloudy, posted by All Done on April 13, 2005, at 10:57:40

I read the entire thread before I posted, as is my usual posting style.

 

Re: Zenhussy from the archives

Posted by TofuEmmy on April 13, 2005, at 16:08:08

In reply to Zenhussy from the archives » Toph, posted by partlycloudy on April 12, 2005, at 18:10:07

> Isn't it amazing how differently people view the same person?
>
Alldone - The way that *I* interpreted the post by PC was this:

1) Toph posted lovely positive things about Zen
2) PartlyCloudy posted how different people (presumably PartlyCloudy and/or others she knows the opinions of) see that person (Zen) very differently...which would be negatively.

I've tried to find another way way to interpret the post. Is there one, PC? I'm hoping so.

em

 

Re: be cool (nm) » partlycloudy

Posted by AuntieMel on April 13, 2005, at 16:28:41

In reply to Re: Zenhussy from the archives » All Done, posted by partlycloudy on April 13, 2005, at 12:03:34

 

Re: Zenhussy from the archives

Posted by partlycloudy on April 13, 2005, at 16:31:14

In reply to Re: Zenhussy from the archives, posted by TofuEmmy on April 13, 2005, at 16:08:08

All I'm saying is that we each are able to see and experience different aspects of the same person. I find that in itself quite amazing.

I'm not being positive nor negative - just that my personal experiences differ from Toph's.
And that, ladies, is ALL I said, and ALL I meant.

 

I am ice. (nm) » AuntieMel

Posted by partlycloudy on April 13, 2005, at 16:42:16

In reply to Re: be cool (nm) » partlycloudy, posted by AuntieMel on April 13, 2005, at 16:28:41

 

Temporary off topic » TofuEmmy

Posted by gardenergirl on April 13, 2005, at 17:12:54

In reply to Re: Zenhussy from the archives, posted by TofuEmmy on April 13, 2005, at 16:08:08

Good news everyone!

Spamalot is NOT, I repeat, is NOT sold out. I was just able to pretend to purchase tickets for when my 10th anniversary is rolling around in the fall. I might actually buy them after checking with hubby. Or...going out on a major limb...I might actually buy them as a gift (GASP!)

Fly me to the moon.....

gg

 

Re: Zenhussy from the archives » partlycloudy

Posted by All Done on April 13, 2005, at 17:21:24

In reply to Re: Zenhussy from the archives, posted by partlycloudy on April 13, 2005, at 16:31:14

> All I'm saying is that we each are able to see and experience different aspects of the same person. I find that in itself quite amazing.

So do I.

Please do not post to me.

 

Re: Zenhussy from the archives

Posted by TofuEmmy on April 13, 2005, at 18:06:09

In reply to Re: Zenhussy from the archives » partlycloudy, posted by All Done on April 13, 2005, at 17:21:24

Golly! If you know the civility rules inside and out, it seems that people can get away with saying any ole obtuse thing they want.

Although my personal favorite is the insult/fast apology. You can definately say ANYTHING if you apologize fast enough. Try it - it's fun!

btw - if anyone is interested in how Zen is doing....she is doing really well. SO well in fact, that she is a moderator at another site now. She is working hard, and trying to stay ahead of life, like we all are.

em

 

Re: Zenhussy from the archives » TofuEmmy

Posted by henrietta on April 13, 2005, at 20:06:06

In reply to Re: Zenhussy from the archives, posted by TofuEmmy on April 13, 2005, at 18:06:09

Thanks, Emmy. I, too miss Zenhussy, and am glad to hear she's doing well. And I, too, am constantly amazed at how the "civility" rules can be manipulated by bad faith actions without the slightest reprimand. But at least we recognize bad faith when we see it. ALSO, to All Done: Your first post on this thread took the words right out of my mouth. Seriously, that was word for word my response! Be well.

 

Civility again! » TofuEmmy

Posted by partlycloudy on April 14, 2005, at 4:39:11

In reply to Re: Zenhussy from the archives, posted by TofuEmmy on April 13, 2005, at 18:06:09

Wow, golly, gee. Gosh darn it.

I think that civility is all about communicating effectively and keeping within the restrictions as defined by the FAQs. I try to keep myself within the guidelines, and sometimes I fail at it.

Ms. Tofu, I ask that you no longer post to me. Thanks.

 

Re: Zenhussy from the archives » henrietta

Posted by TofuEmmy on April 14, 2005, at 10:08:06

In reply to Re: Zenhussy from the archives » TofuEmmy, posted by henrietta on April 13, 2005, at 20:06:06

Hen - I think we are in complete agreement. It's not the civility rules themselves, it's how they are used sometimes.

I actually find myself missing the rule against making people feel hurt when I'm on other websites. I LIKE that one a lot - it's just a really difficult one to enforce. And it's a hard one to follow, especially within a population of people who have been hurt so often themselves.

emmy

 

Re: Zenhussy from the archives » TofuEmmy

Posted by henrietta on April 14, 2005, at 10:41:23

In reply to Re: Zenhussy from the archives » henrietta, posted by TofuEmmy on April 14, 2005, at 10:08:06

I was just thinking the same thing. I like some sort of rules about civility; I've seen places where there are none and it's awful! And just now I was thinking that I can't see any realistic way to prevent the rules from being circumvented. I think I'm coming to the conclusion that I, at least, must accept that even civility rules can't make a place truly safe.
Once I accept that, I may be less apt to become upset when I see people being hurt within the guidelines, and the less upset I get the less likely I am to write hurtful things, myself.
(Can you tell I'm a slow learner?)
hen

 

Re: How about if we all agree » TofuEmmy

Posted by AuntieMel on April 15, 2005, at 14:58:04

In reply to Re: Zenhussy from the archives, posted by TofuEmmy on April 13, 2005, at 16:08:08

To not say anything on this board about anyone posting over there.

AND to not say anything on the other board about people posting over here.

I've wandered over there on occasion to see what people are up to and I *have* seen negative things there about posters here.

Including some that wouldn't pass the civility guidelines over here.

Not throwing any stones from my glass house - just musing that if the topics never came up we'd all be happier.

peace?

 

Re: How about if we all agree » AuntieMel

Posted by All Done on April 15, 2005, at 15:26:10

In reply to Re: How about if we all agree » TofuEmmy, posted by AuntieMel on April 15, 2005, at 14:58:04

> To not say anything on this board about anyone posting over there.
>
> AND to not say anything on the other board about people posting over here.
>
> I've wandered over there on occasion to see what people are up to and I *have* seen negative things there about posters here.
>
> Including some that wouldn't pass the civility guidelines over here.
>
> Not throwing any stones from my glass house - just musing that if the topics never came up we'd all be happier.
>
> peace?


AuntieMel,

I wouldn't have posted any differently if you replaced zen's name with Dinah's, who isn't blocked from this site and, and far as I can see, doesn't post over there. I didn't really feel that it was initially an issue about the two sites. Rather, I saw it as an issue between two people.

That said, I do understand about wanting to minimize conflict between the two sites.

Take care,
Laurie

 

okay you've got my interest who, what was said?

Posted by Jai Narayan on April 15, 2005, at 15:56:19

In reply to Re: How about if we all agree » TofuEmmy, posted by AuntieMel on April 15, 2005, at 14:58:04

I can't help it I wanna know.
curiosity you how that story goes...
so someone on Babble was talked about on PC?
is that the gist?

I know you are above this gossip but I'm not.
so lowly am I that I gotta know...

email me if you must
actually love to hear from you in any case.
Ja*

 

Re:email coming. (nm) » Jai Narayan

Posted by AuntieMel on April 15, 2005, at 18:08:36

In reply to okay you've got my interest who, what was said?, posted by Jai Narayan on April 15, 2005, at 15:56:19

 

Re: How about if we all agree

Posted by TofuEmmy on April 15, 2005, at 18:11:27

In reply to Re: How about if we all agree » TofuEmmy, posted by AuntieMel on April 15, 2005, at 14:58:04

"How about if we all agree » TofuEmmy" ??

TofuEmmy was the 4th person to enter this revived thread. Why this is addressed to me, I dunno. It makes me feel accused of starting a raucous.

Peace sounds great. I was already there.

Although I'll leave it up to you to notify the 7000 posters at PsychCentral. Good luck with that.

Em, ever the wisea$$

 

how to say, another poster has hurt me?

Posted by Jai Narayan on April 16, 2005, at 5:59:27

In reply to okay you've got my interest who, what was said?, posted by Jai Narayan on April 15, 2005, at 15:56:19

I've got a novel idea.
we continue with "freedom of speech" but only say
nice things about each other?
I know I'd like to see something nice written about me on PC.
Heck I'd like to see something nice about me here on babble..

okay I did digress

Personally I like and admire many people on both sites.

My comment does not address the problem of getting hurt by a poster from one board or another.

how can we say that without offending someone?

Ja*

when I get hurt I just stand there stunned...
in life and on these boards.
I just can't believe it.


 

Re: How about if we all agree

Posted by All Done on April 16, 2005, at 8:52:29

In reply to Re: How about if we all agree » AuntieMel, posted by All Done on April 15, 2005, at 15:26:10

I'm still confused. When did this become about Babble vs. PsychCentral? Or maybe why is a better question.

 

Re: How about if we all agree » All Done

Posted by TofuEmmy on April 16, 2005, at 10:08:23

In reply to Re: How about if we all agree, posted by All Done on April 16, 2005, at 8:52:29

Because TofuEmmy is involved?

It has nothing to do with websites. It had to do with Toph saying something nice about his friend. I thought it would have turned into a thread of people waving "hi" to her. That would have made lots of people to smile.

I'm as confoooosed as you are Lala.

Worn out em

 

Hi Zen are you coming back to babble? (nm)

Posted by Jai Narayan on April 16, 2005, at 10:47:35

In reply to Re: How about if we all agree » All Done, posted by TofuEmmy on April 16, 2005, at 10:08:23

 

Re: How about if we all agree » TofuEmmy

Posted by Toph on April 16, 2005, at 17:13:37

In reply to Re: How about if we all agree » All Done, posted by TofuEmmy on April 16, 2005, at 10:08:23

That's right em. I actually prefer the format here. The participants on both boards are mostly kind and supportive. Competition between the two boards seems silly to me. We're two ships on the same ocean. It's regrettable that my post led to such rancor.

 

Re: I sent it to you 'cause » TofuEmmy

Posted by AuntieMel on April 16, 2005, at 17:20:18

In reply to Re: How about if we all agree, posted by TofuEmmy on April 15, 2005, at 18:11:27

I thought you would be least likely to get mad at me?

Or maybe I just clicked the wrong button.

 

Re: I sent it to you 'cause » AuntieMel

Posted by Dinah on April 16, 2005, at 18:28:14

In reply to Re: I sent it to you 'cause » TofuEmmy, posted by AuntieMel on April 16, 2005, at 17:20:18

Chuckle.

That strategy has led me to more than a little distress, Mel. Addressing a post in the middle of a storm to the person who I knew and liked a lot and assumed would take it in the spirit it was intended. (In that they would realize that I *only* addressed it to them because I knew and liked them dearly and thought it would be safe to address them.)

I do not recommend that. Strangely the unwritten subtext is almost never ever understood in my experience and it led to one acrimonious friendship breakup and a few tense moments in other relationships before I realized that I'd better not use that technique any longer.

I still make a mistake now and then and use it, and still get the same results.

No one *ever* thanks me for liking and trusting them enough to address my comments to them. :)

Go figure.

(So, Mel, if I ever address a comment to you in the middle of a storm, realize I've just forgotten that that technique has never worked well for me.)

Forgive the aside. Your post jut brought up sad, yet self deprecating, memories for me.

 

Since I post at both sites

Posted by gardenergirl on April 17, 2005, at 0:32:20

In reply to Re: I sent it to you 'cause » AuntieMel, posted by Dinah on April 16, 2005, at 18:28:14

If I wanted to "wave" over to PC, would I be waving at myself? And golly, if I had both windows open at the same time, could I wave back at myself?

Ouch, I think I hurt my brain. Oh well, through the looking glass I go.

gg


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