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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by just plain jane on December 29, 2004, at 16:36:47
In reply to Re: Who are you????, posted by Angel Girl on December 29, 2004, at 11:24:08
Angel Girl,
I agree with you: that's pretty much why we come here, in general.
As early as my single digit years I knew I did not, nor would I ever, "fit in". Well, in my last three years of HS I fit in pretty well, because there was an unusually large proportion of the students who were of the hippie/boozer/party variety.
When you're all self medicating, it's not so hard to fit in. But even there, I was "the one" the other girls watched out for, because I was a diehard one-of-the-guys tomboy, honest and forthright. That can be pretty intimidating (which I had no clue about then).
Now, I make use of my excellent education, innate gift with our language, and the patience I have worked hard and long exercising to strengthen, to function in society at those times I must. Were it not for these blessings, I'd surely be locked away.
I'm still a far shot from fitting in, by any stretch of the imagination. I don't care anymore if people think I am weird or goofy because of my tendency to say unexpected but accurate things, or do things a little outside the "regular" expected behavior. Only reason I cared before was because I was usually in a situation where someone had some control over some facet of my life. Not good to pyss them off with my eccentric humor and divergent trains of thought.
I try to share my smile as much as possible. Being the catalyst of a smile is soooo cool.
Enough already. Must see what thing one and thing two are up to in the porch.
just plain jane
Posted by trucker on December 29, 2004, at 19:23:40
In reply to Re: Who are you???? » trucker, posted by Angel Girl on December 29, 2004, at 12:17:27
THANKS!! AG i am a mess from time to time.. and people don't know how to take me. but i am on the mend to a certain degree. i refuse to leave here i have been here several years.
:-) somedays are better than others but i am getting by now. been thru the mill. after the baby .. there is bankruptcy, and the posible forcloser of the house.. "life" i am glad i have a sence of humor.
it is what has got me thru a bunch of things.trucker
Posted by Angel Girl on December 30, 2004, at 13:43:38
In reply to Re: Who are you????, posted by trucker on December 29, 2004, at 19:23:40
> THANKS!! AG i am a mess from time to time.. and people don't know how to take me. but i am on the mend to a certain degree. i refuse to leave here i have been here several years.
> :-) somedays are better than others but i am getting by now. been thru the mill. after the baby .. there is bankruptcy, and the posible forcloser of the house.. "life" i am glad i have a sence of humor.
> it is what has got me thru a bunch of things.
>
> trucker
truckerI'm glad that you are able to cope with life a little better these days and that you are going to stay here. I tend to come and go but I'm hoping to remedy that habit and put down roots this time. I'm sorry to here about your bankruptcy and possible foreclosure on the house. I've almost been through the same thing due to my wild spending during manic episodes. Got myself into mega debt and was seriously facing losing my home as well. Thanks be to God, my Mom stepped in and paid off all my debts for me, bless her soul. I wish you the best of luck in your own situation. I know the stress it brings. It's not easy. I was a complete mess at the time I went through this and it was at that time that I revealed for the first time how sick I really was. My family was shocked because although I hid a lot of it, they did know there was something wrong. However; they were shocked when they found out the depths of everything I had endured in my childhood, the size of my debts and the fact that I was seriously suicidal at the time.
Sorry, if you've already mentioned, my brain is fried on meds and memory sure ain't what it used to be, do you have any children and are you working? I'll send up some prayers for you.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{trucker}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
AG
Posted by trucker on December 31, 2004, at 8:27:39
In reply to Re: Who are you???? » trucker, posted by Angel Girl on December 30, 2004, at 13:43:38
no children.. he was the only one. not working at this point. T pulled me off the road as i am a trucker and occasionally have vilent reactions to those around me. not good when you are driving an 18 wheeler and people get in my airspace. i am borderline vilent.. it is something i struggle with lately.
trucker
/////////////////////////////////////////////////> > THANKS!! AG i am a mess from time to time.. and people don't know how to take me. but i am on the mend to a certain degree. i refuse to leave here i have been here several years.
> > :-) somedays are better than others but i am getting by now. been thru the mill. after the baby .. there is bankruptcy, and the posible forcloser of the house.. "life" i am glad i have a sence of humor.
> > it is what has got me thru a bunch of things.
> >
> > trucker
>
>
> trucker
>
> I'm glad that you are able to cope with life a little better these days and that you are going to stay here. I tend to come and go but I'm hoping to remedy that habit and put down roots this time. I'm sorry to here about your bankruptcy and possible foreclosure on the house. I've almost been through the same thing due to my wild spending during manic episodes. Got myself into mega debt and was seriously facing losing my home as well. Thanks be to God, my Mom stepped in and paid off all my debts for me, bless her soul. I wish you the best of luck in your own situation. I know the stress it brings. It's not easy. I was a complete mess at the time I went through this and it was at that time that I revealed for the first time how sick I really was. My family was shocked because although I hid a lot of it, they did know there was something wrong. However; they were shocked when they found out the depths of everything I had endured in my childhood, the size of my debts and the fact that I was seriously suicidal at the time.
>
> Sorry, if you've already mentioned, my brain is fried on meds and memory sure ain't what it used to be, do you have any children and are you working? I'll send up some prayers for you.
>
> {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{trucker}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
>
> AG
Posted by Angel Girl on December 31, 2004, at 21:45:53
In reply to Re: Who are you????, posted by trucker on December 31, 2004, at 8:27:39
> no children.. he was the only one. not working at this point. T pulled me off the road as i am a trucker and occasionally have vilent reactions to those around me. not good when you are driving an 18 wheeler and people get in my airspace. i am borderline vilent.. it is something i struggle with lately.
>
> trucker
>trucker
I'm sorry that your disorder was affecting your ability to work. I too am off work. Are you on any sort of disability from work or the gov't? Do you have a SO or someone who is there to support you in an emotional way? Hugs.
AG
Posted by trucker on January 1, 2005, at 9:57:44
In reply to Re: Who are you???? » trucker, posted by Angel Girl on December 31, 2004, at 21:45:53
no i don't have disability yet.. i have filed for it thru SSDI but it is always hurry up and wait.. i use to think i had friends but they didn't pawn out. as soon as they got a boy friend they were gone. there is no one but here on the thread to support me emotionally. i don't really know how to make and keep friends. because of the childhood and then the trucking. who wants to talk to a woman trucker. acept a man looking for something i not going to give. i am married. and not looking for strange... sex... what ever ya call it.
trucker
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
> trucker
>
> I'm sorry that your disorder was affecting your ability to work. I too am off work. Are you on any sort of disability from work or the gov't? Do you have a SO or someone who is there to support you in an emotional way? Hugs.
>
> AG
Posted by lydia on January 2, 2005, at 9:09:16
In reply to Who are you????, posted by ed_uk on December 21, 2004, at 8:04:46
hi ED! i am ELLEN not LYDIA nice to MEET you.
Posted by Angel Girl on January 4, 2005, at 18:07:54
In reply to Re: Who are you????, posted by trucker on January 1, 2005, at 9:57:44
> no i don't have disability yet.. i have filed for it thru SSDI but it is always hurry up and wait.. i use to think i had friends but they didn't pawn out. as soon as they got a boy friend they were gone. there is no one but here on the thread to support me emotionally. i don't really know how to make and keep friends. because of the childhood and then the trucking. who wants to talk to a woman trucker. acept a man looking for something i not going to give. i am married. and not looking for strange... sex... what ever ya call it.
>
> trucker
>
truckerI hope you hear about your disability application soon and that you are accepted. Does your husband not support you? You'll get plenty of support here as I have found. I don't have any friends IRL either.
AG
Posted by trucker on January 4, 2005, at 18:12:24
In reply to Re: Who are you???? » trucker, posted by Angel Girl on January 4, 2005, at 18:07:54
my husband is being a butt!!! and he serves the ME army... meaning everything comes up hubby and if there is anything left i may get it.
i have been accepted for disability but it takes time to actually get the money..etc..
trucker
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////
> trucker
>
> I hope you hear about your disability application soon and that you are accepted. Does your husband not support you? You'll get plenty of support here as I have found. I don't have any friends IRL either.
>
> AG
Posted by Angel Girl on January 5, 2005, at 19:20:03
In reply to Re: Who are you????, posted by trucker on January 4, 2005, at 18:12:24
trucker
I'm sorry that your husband doesn't support you as much as you would like or need. I think most men are like that unfortunately.
I'm glad you've been accepted for disability and I hope you start seeing the money come in soon.
Like you, I don't have friends IRL, and I don't have a SO. I know it's not the same but I'll be your friend. :)
AG
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> my husband is being a butt!!! and he serves the ME army... meaning everything comes up hubby and if there is anything left i may get it.
>
> i have been accepted for disability but it takes time to actually get the money..etc..
>
> trucker
>
> /////////////////////////////////////////////////////
> > trucker
> >
> > I hope you hear about your disability application soon and that you are accepted. Does your husband not support you? You'll get plenty of support here as I have found. I don't have any friends IRL either.
> >
> > AG
>
>
Posted by trucker on January 5, 2005, at 20:01:13
In reply to Getting emotional support/friends » trucker, posted by Angel Girl on January 5, 2005, at 19:20:03
husbands only see in black and white.. woman on the other hand see in colors.. and what do i mean by that you ask??? woman are more intricut. men are men!!! lol.. butts!!! hehehehe... i love him but i tell ya sometimes i have a very thin line between love and hate. thanks for being there. hey what state do you live in anyway??? i know i asked ya before, but i don't recall the answer.
trucker
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////> trucker
>
> I'm sorry that your husband doesn't support you as much as you would like or need. I think most men are like that unfortunately.
> Like you, I don't have friends IRL, and I don't have a SO. I know it's not the same but I'll be your friend. :)
>
> AG
>
Posted by Angel Girl on January 6, 2005, at 20:04:41
In reply to Re: Getting emotional support/friends, posted by trucker on January 5, 2005, at 20:01:13
trucker
I don't live in the US, I live in Canada. Sorry, didn't see where you asked me before, I'll look to see if I missed something. I agree with your analogy of men and women.
AG
-----------------------------------------------
> husbands only see in black and white.. woman on the other hand see in colors.. and what do i mean by that you ask??? woman are more intricut. men are men!!! lol.. butts!!! hehehehe... i love him but i tell ya sometimes i have a very thin line between love and hate. thanks for being there. hey what state do you live in anyway??? i know i asked ya before, but i don't recall the answer.
>
> trucker
>
> //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////> trucker
> >
> > I'm sorry that your husband doesn't support you as much as you would like or need. I think most men are like that unfortunately.
>
> > Like you, I don't have friends IRL, and I don't have a SO. I know it's not the same but I'll be your friend. :)
> >
> > AG
> >
>
Posted by trucker on January 6, 2005, at 20:17:29
In reply to Re: Getting emotional support/friends, posted by Angel Girl on January 6, 2005, at 20:04:41
i may not have asked recently. what providence?? and the men thing!!!! can't live with 'em can't live with out 'em!!
hehehe :-)trucker
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////>
> I don't live in the US, I live in Canada. Sorry, didn't see where you asked me before, I'll look to see if I missed something. I agree with your analogy of men and women.
>
> AG
Posted by Angel Girl on January 6, 2005, at 22:31:38
In reply to Re: Getting emotional support/friends, posted by trucker on January 6, 2005, at 20:17:29
trucker
Actually, you did, I found it and replied. I also sent you a babblemail. Hope you get it, I'm new to that. Your comment about men, well, I don't have one so I guess I'll have to settle to live without.
AG
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> i may not have asked recently. what providence?? and the men thing!!!! can't live with 'em can't live with out 'em!!
> hehehe :-)
>
> trucker
Posted by trucker on January 6, 2005, at 22:49:03
In reply to Re: Getting emotional support/friends » trucker, posted by Angel Girl on January 6, 2005, at 22:31:38
YEP I GOT IT AND REPLIED SOME TOO. men well a good one is hard to find. keep looking, maybe he'll pop in your life someday... my husband i still thinks needs meds and T worse than i do. i think he is the problem. but i love him so what can i do!!! i know take zoloft it will make ya smile at most all things. hehehe
trucker
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////>
> Actually, you did, I found it and replied. I also sent you a babblemail. Hope you get it, I'm new to that. Your comment about men, well, I don't have one so I guess I'll have to settle to live without.
>
> AG
>
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
> > i may not have asked recently. what providence?? and the men thing!!!! can't live with 'em can't live with out 'em!!
> > hehehe :-)
> >
> > trucker
>
Posted by Angel Girl on January 10, 2005, at 2:41:02
In reply to Re: Getting emotional support/friends, posted by trucker on January 6, 2005, at 22:49:03
I could use something that will make me smile these days. My meds certainly don't help me. I've yet to find something that will.
AG
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> YEP I GOT IT AND REPLIED SOME TOO. men well a good one is hard to find. keep looking, maybe he'll pop in your life someday... my husband i still thinks needs meds and T worse than i do. i think he is the problem. but i love him so what can i do!!! i know take zoloft it will make ya smile at most all things. hehehe
>
> trucker
Posted by Angel Girl on January 10, 2005, at 2:51:30
In reply to Re: Getting emotional support/friends, posted by trucker on January 6, 2005, at 22:49:03
Forgot to mention, sorry that your husband is also suffering. I can't imagine what it would be like to have 2 people in the same house that way. Part of me thinks you would get more understanding but part of me thinks, it wouldn't be a very good combo. But as you said, you love him and that's all that matters.
As for me, I won't hold my breath waiting for any man to come around my way.
AG
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> YEP I GOT IT AND REPLIED SOME TOO. men well a good one is hard to find. keep looking, maybe he'll pop in your life someday... my husband i still thinks needs meds and T worse than i do. i think he is the problem. but i love him so what can i do!!! i know take zoloft it will make ya smile at most all things. hehehe
>
> trucker
>
>
Posted by trucker on January 10, 2005, at 10:17:56
In reply to Re: Getting emotional support/friends » trucker, posted by Angel Girl on January 10, 2005, at 2:51:30
hubby has good and bad points...OF COURSE DON'T WE ALL...yes good men are hard to find. we been thru hell and back. from still born son to bankruptsy, to almost forcloser. we been ther. plus i see him once every two months. thawt is why when i drive truck with him , it is so intence.. we go from nothing to being together 24/7. and i do mean together. we eat togethe, we have toilet in the truck, so we go to the bathroom together, we shower together (cause doing it alone is UNSAFE) he slleps behind me when i drive and i him when he drives. so it is either feast or famine with him.. hehehe.. like i said.. i am glad i have a personality that is humorous. it has got me thru alot.
hubby doesn't take meds he is still in denial. he needs to though.
maybe you are looking for love in the wrong place.. have you looked at church? did i mention that i hated my hubby for the fist 21 days i knew him?
trucker
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////> Forgot to mention, sorry that your husband is also suffering. I can't imagine what it would be like to have 2 people in the same house that way. Part of me thinks you would get more understanding but part of me thinks, it wouldn't be a very good combo. But as you said, you love him and that's all that matters.
>
> As for me, I won't hold my breath waiting for any man to come around my way.
>
> AG
Posted by trucker on January 10, 2005, at 10:38:58
In reply to Re: Getting emotional support/friends » trucker, posted by Angel Girl on January 10, 2005, at 2:41:02
have you ever tried zoloft? it puts a smile on your face and gives ya energy to face the day with.. i have tried lex apro and i didn't like it. it made me foggy, i couldn't think, i had no energy, i felt yucky all the way and was spiraling down word. feeling worthless and borderline suisidal. and i wasn't that close to suisidal but i do know that is the next fase and i don't want to go there. zoloft i am more alive and abble to handle the day and what the world gives me. i often wonder if all the different meds you are on, well if they aren't the problem. see all meds have SIDE EFFECTS. and are they giving you this med to cover that side effect, and that med to cover this side effect? i would shop around and see what the T thought and maybe get a second opinion. i mean one person only knows SO MUCH. it may not be their fault.. their expertiece is maybe in some other department. do you understand? it is just a thought.
trucker
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// > I could use something that will make me smile these days. My meds certainly don't help me. I've yet to find something that will.
>
> AG
Posted by Angel Girl on January 12, 2005, at 1:47:10
In reply to Re: Getting emotional support/friends, posted by trucker on January 10, 2005, at 10:17:56
Well, that's what I would definitely classify as togetherness. lol!!! I can see how that would be trying at times, but the shower bit, hmmmmmm, doesn't sound so bad to me. lol!!!
As far as me looking for love, well, let's just say that I've stopped even trying. Nobody would be able to put up with my mood swings and lack of self-control as of late for too long.
AG
> hubby has good and bad points...OF COURSE DON'T WE ALL...yes good men are hard to find. we been thru hell and back. from still born son to bankruptsy, to almost forcloser. we been ther. plus i see him once every two months. thawt is why when i drive truck with him , it is so intence.. we go from nothing to being together 24/7. and i do mean together. we eat togethe, we have toilet in the truck, so we go to the bathroom together, we shower together (cause doing it alone is UNSAFE) he slleps behind me when i drive and i him when he drives. so it is either feast or famine with him.. hehehe.. like i said.. i am glad i have a personality that is humorous. it has got me thru alot.
>
> hubby doesn't take meds he is still in denial. he needs to though.
>
> maybe you are looking for love in the wrong place.. have you looked at church? did i mention that i hated my hubby for the fist 21 days i knew him?
>
> trucker
>
> ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////> Forgot to mention, sorry that your husband is also suffering. I can't imagine what it would be like to have 2 people in the same house that way. Part of me thinks you would get more understanding but part of me thinks, it wouldn't be a very good combo. But as you said, you love him and that's all that matters.
> >
> > As for me, I won't hold my breath waiting for any man to come around my way.
> >
> > AG
>
Posted by trucker on January 12, 2005, at 9:42:25
In reply to Re: Getting emotional support/friends, posted by Angel Girl on January 12, 2005, at 1:47:10
well the showers would be ok if he wasn't afraid of water!!! hehehehe.. lol...he doesn't like to waist time taking a shower so they are few and far between. i like water myself!! lol...
trucker
////////////////////////////////////////////////////> Well, that's what I would definitely classify as togetherness. lol!!! I can see how that would be trying at times, but the shower bit, hmmmmmm, doesn't sound so bad to me. lol!!!
>
> As far as me looking for love, well, let's just say that I've stopped even trying. Nobody would be able to put up with my mood swings and lack of self-control as of late for too long.
>
> AG
Posted by Angel Girl on January 12, 2005, at 13:30:58
In reply to Re: Getting emotional support/friends, posted by trucker on January 12, 2005, at 9:42:25
He's afraid of the water? I've heard of being afraid of getting in a pool or a lake, etc but never the shower. What's up with that?
AG
> well the showers would be ok if he wasn't afraid of water!!! hehehehe.. lol...he doesn't like to waist time taking a shower so they are few and far between. i like water myself!! lol...
>
> trucker
>
Posted by trucker on January 12, 2005, at 14:43:18
In reply to Re: Getting emotional support/friends » trucker, posted by Angel Girl on January 12, 2005, at 13:30:58
well he only wants to take a shower once a week and thats on a good week.. it is a figure of speach! lol!!!
trucker
//////////////////////////////////////////////////> He's afraid of the water? I've heard of being afraid of getting in a pool or a lake, etc but never the shower. What's up with that?
AG
Posted by Angel Girl on January 13, 2005, at 10:39:32
In reply to Re: Getting emotional support/friends, posted by trucker on January 12, 2005, at 14:43:18
but is it because he is afraid of the water or some other reason? Since you mentioned there is a safety issue of showering alone, does that mean you have to adhere to the same frequency as him? Could he not stand guard directly infront of your shower for your protection so that you could at least have a shower?
AG
> well he only wants to take a shower once a week and thats on a good week.. it is a figure of speach! lol!!!
>
> trucker
>
Posted by trucker on January 13, 2005, at 11:45:24
In reply to Re: Getting emotional support/friends » trucker, posted by Angel Girl on January 13, 2005, at 10:39:32
my husband is a butt... he won't.. he bitches and makes me mizzerable if i run in and wash in the wash basin at the truck stop. so i can't immagine what it would be like if i could FINALLY get him to do that.. stand out side so i could shower cause then he'd have to shower to .. there is no him sacraficing for me. if he had to do that he would shower too and that would be taking to much time. SO IT WOULDN'T HAPPEN! time is the reason.. the fear of the water was a figure of speach..I CAN ONLY SHOWER WHEN HE DOES. that is why i wash in other ways.like i said hes a butt...
trucker
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////> but is it because he is afraid of the water or some other reason? Since you mentioned there is a safety issue of showering alone, does that mean you have to adhere to the same frequency as him? Could he not stand guard directly infront of your shower for your protection so that you could at least have a shower?
>
> AG
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