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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by Jai Narayan on December 20, 2004, at 20:15:25
In reply to Re: Atticus....distance???no, did I say no yet...no..., posted by alesta on December 20, 2004, at 20:03:49
my goodness,
you are a wonderful person.
Never doubt your own perceptions.
I have known Atticus for half a year and am bonded to his being.
that does not mean you should have the same feelings I do.
you are a you, a unique person with your own feelings, I honor them and respect you.
If there is something that is disquieting for you about Atticus then explore it. Often we take so much to such a perception.
this is neither good or bad....it's just us.
"All of life is talking to me"....to quote Laurie Anderson.
In every experience there is a teacher.
I am here to learn.remember you are good, important and real.
I will listen.
Jai
Posted by alesta on December 20, 2004, at 20:18:47
In reply to Re: atticus, what do you look like? » Jai Narayan, posted by Atticus on December 20, 2004, at 19:19:54
hi atticus,
i just read what you wrote. i didn't realize what i said would be interpreted as a bad thing or would hurt anyone's feelings when i said it. i'm really sorry. i can't believe i might've upset you and jai, two people i like and respect. i just can't do much of anything right lately.amy
Posted by alesta on December 20, 2004, at 20:37:32
In reply to amy dear sweet person....., posted by Jai Narayan on December 20, 2004, at 20:15:25
> my goodness,
> you are a wonderful person.
> Never doubt your own perceptions.
> I have known Atticus for half a year and am bonded to his being.
> that does not mean you should have the same feelings I do.
> you are a you, a unique person with your own feelings, I honor them and respect you.
> If there is something that is disquieting for you about Atticus then explore it. Often we take so much to such a perception.
> this is neither good or bad....it's just us.
> "All of life is talking to me"....to quote Laurie Anderson.
> In every experience there is a teacher.
> I am here to learn.
>
> remember you are good, important and real.
> I will listen.
> Jaidearest jai, thank you for not being upset with me..you are always such a calm, soothing, enjoyable presence. you are really lovely.:) this place can be a difficult venue at times. i feel kind of upset..i need to think, too. it's nice to know you're there to listen if i need you. thank you!!
amy:)
Posted by Fallen4MyT on December 20, 2004, at 21:34:56
In reply to Re: amy dear sweet person..... » Jai Narayan, posted by alesta on December 20, 2004, at 20:37:32
It is all online and people really do not know ALL about us and such unless they meet and spend a lot of time together. Heck even engaged and married people LEARN things about their spouse years after they are married. Maybe moving on would be helpful here for all of you?
Just a peacful thought
Posted by Atticus on December 20, 2004, at 21:37:48
In reply to Re: Atticus....distance???no, did I say no yet...no..., posted by alesta on December 20, 2004, at 20:03:49
You should always feel free to be honest, Amy. If that's the way you feel, then that's the way you feel. I don't understand why you feel that way -- it kind of hit me out of left field, given our past interactions -- but as Jai said, it's certainly your right. Thing is, it can't help but affect the way I feel. Please don't feel bad. I just need time to think. Maybe a lot of people on PB feel the same way you do. I don't know. But that thought sure makes me uncomfortable about posting. Guess I should've just stuck to poems. I just wanted more interaction with others; but if I'm coming across as emotionally chilly, then I'm failing to connect anyway. Atticus
Posted by crushedout on December 20, 2004, at 21:51:03
In reply to Re: Atticus....distance???no, did I say no yet...no... » alesta, posted by Atticus on December 20, 2004, at 21:37:48
Atticus,I'm not sure I'm any good at this, but I'd like to see if I can help at all. (My first instinct was to mind my own business.)
First, I think "chilly" is taking what Amy said too far. She said "distant," right? I think a lot of that could be related to your obvious intelligence and that makes people feel intimidated. For all you know, Amy is just projecting onto you, and it has nothing to do with you. I think she'd be the first one to agree that that's a possibility (correct me if I'm wrong, Amy). You shouldn't assume that you *are* distant, even if she perceives you that way.
But even if there's a grain of truth in what she said, I don't think it means (in the slightest) that you're failing to connect. I'm sure that's wrong in fact. Jai and amy clearly *do* feel connected to you, *I* felt "connected" enough (or intrigued, anyway) to ask you to meet for coffee, and I'm sure there are others (I don't know you that well).
Please don't regret having ventured into Social. You are an enormously valuable addition to it, and I don't think anyone of us wants to lose you.
just my two cents,
crushedout
Posted by alesta on December 20, 2004, at 22:23:29
In reply to Re: Atticus....distance???no, did I say no yet...no... » alesta, posted by Atticus on December 20, 2004, at 21:37:48
> You should always feel free to be honest, Amy. If that's the way you feel, then that's the way you feel. I don't understand why you feel that way -- it kind of hit me out of left field, given our past interactions -- but as Jai said, it's certainly your right. Thing is, it can't help but affect the way I feel. Please don't feel bad. I just need time to think. Maybe a lot of people on PB feel the same way you do. I don't know. But that thought sure makes me uncomfortable about posting. Guess I should've just stuck to poems. I just wanted more interaction with others; but if I'm coming across as emotionally chilly, then I'm failing to connect anyway. Atticus
thanks for replying..i'm going to be totally honest and let stuff spill out (my style), so i have no idea how this is going to go over..atticus, please don't stop posting here over this. you're going to get a lot of babblers really pissed at me, lol.:) they love you, atty. you're fun and nice and smart. you're perfect for this forum. it's ok if you don't like me too much anymore, although shocking to me. i guess i have to accept that, although of course it makes me a bit sad. i was kind of planning on leaving here anyway. you were actually one of the things that kept me here. although most of my blunders are usually on admin, i can't believe i hurt you. just please don't run..
i don't even know what i should say right now. but i tried my best. i have a hard time being friends with guys anyway, so maybe this will save me some heartache, lol (looking on the bright side:)) i think it'll all be ok. stay here..the crowd loves you!!! :-)
amy:)
Posted by crushedout on December 20, 2004, at 22:34:02
In reply to Re: Atticus....distance???no, did I say no yet...no... » Atticus, posted by alesta on December 20, 2004, at 22:23:29
i barely know you, but i'd miss you. please don't go. you're cool, funny, and smart.
Posted by alesta on December 20, 2004, at 22:37:14
In reply to Re: Atticus....distance???no, did I say no yet...n » Atticus, posted by crushedout on December 20, 2004, at 21:51:03
>
> Atticus,
>
> I'm not sure I'm any good at this, but I'd like to see if I can help at all. (My first instinct was to mind my own business.)
>
> First, I think "chilly" is taking what Amy said too far. She said "distant," right? I think a lot of that could be related to your obvious intelligence and that makes people feel intimidated. For all you know, Amy is just projecting onto you, and it has nothing to do with you. I think she'd be the first one to agree that that's a possibility (correct me if I'm wrong, Amy). You shouldn't assume that you *are* distant, even if she perceives you that way.
>
> But even if there's a grain of truth in what she said, I don't think it means (in the slightest) that you're failing to connect. I'm sure that's wrong in fact. Jai and amy clearly *do* feel connected to you, *I* felt "connected" enough (or intrigued, anyway) to ask you to meet for coffee, and I'm sure there are others (I don't know you that well).
>
> Please don't regret having ventured into Social. You are an enormously valuable addition to it, and I don't think anyone of us wants to lose you.
>
> just my two cents,
> crushedouthi crushed:),
you said that so amazingly well..all of those are very good points! thank you for illuminating that..and, yes, i do feel connected to atticus. i hope he didn't think that i didn't..crushed, you are very 'good at this,' lol. feel free to attempt to clear up my misunderstandings anytime.:) it was really kind of you to try and help.
thanks again,:)
amy
Posted by alesta on December 20, 2004, at 22:46:38
In reply to don't you leave either » alesta, posted by crushedout on December 20, 2004, at 22:34:02
>
oh, thanks! how nice of you to say that.:) i'm really touched. maybe we all just need to sleep on it?...or go get an enema or something.:) i don't know..it'll work out somehow.take care :-)
amy
Posted by crushedout on December 20, 2004, at 22:47:10
In reply to Re: Atticus....distance???no, did I say no yet...n » crushedout, posted by alesta on December 20, 2004, at 22:37:14
i'm so glad if i was helpful
Posted by crushedout on December 20, 2004, at 22:48:45
In reply to Re: don't you leave either » crushedout, posted by alesta on December 20, 2004, at 22:46:38
yeah, this feels like something that oughta blow over. we'll see
Posted by Fallen4MyT on December 20, 2004, at 22:53:00
In reply to Re: don't you leave either » alesta, posted by crushedout on December 20, 2004, at 22:48:45
I think I suggested that up above.
PEACE
Posted by anastasia56 on December 20, 2004, at 23:53:43
In reply to Re: Atticus....distance???no, did I say no yet...no... » Atticus, posted by alesta on December 20, 2004, at 22:23:29
so it's a deal then...amy is a peach we love and adore...atticus is the squirrel that lives in the tree we love...so they both must stay! Anyone who reads the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy is worth fighting to keep on board!!!
anastasia
Posted by Jai Narayan on December 21, 2004, at 7:25:12
In reply to Re: Atticus....distance???no, did I say no yet...no..., posted by anastasia56 on December 20, 2004, at 23:53:43
not to mention the holidays.
so much energy.
I enjoy both Atticus and Amy.
LOVED the little humorous story that was going on another thread...
I would dearly miss delightful creative story making if either one decided to vacate this board.
Ja*
Posted by Atticus on December 21, 2004, at 10:44:42
In reply to Re: Atticus....distance???no, did I say no yet...n » Atticus, posted by crushedout on December 20, 2004, at 21:51:03
Thanks so much, crushed. I'm not entirely sure why the concept of me being emotionally distant was such a potent trigger. This is something to take up with my T at our next session. It just left me feeling very insecure about posting to people who might potentially also harbor the same feelings, and made me feel very isolated on PB (despite my best efforts) as well. It just seems, given my life experience, that some people chose to be alone; however, sometimes being alone seems to choose some people. Hope that last sentence makes sense. Ta. Atti
Posted by Atticus on December 21, 2004, at 10:58:34
In reply to Re: Atticus....distance???no, did I say no yet...no... » Atticus, posted by alesta on December 20, 2004, at 22:23:29
I'd really hate to see you leave, Amy. Somehow, the idea that I was perceived by someone I like as emotionally distant acted as a powerful trigger. I think a sense of unwanted isolation -- and my difficulty in figuring out why it sometimes occurs and what I can do about it -- is something I've probably wrestled with internally for a long time. I'll think about it and just not be able to figure out where I'm going wrong. I hope you'll stick around PB. And let's be clear on one thing: I don't dislike you and I'm not mad at you. It's just that you accidentally detonated something in my head that hurt like hell. I still do like you and I know your intentions weren't malicious in any way. I think you unintentionally pressed a big red button in my brain, and the issues are mine more than yours. Ta, cool mama. Atticus
Posted by Atticus on December 21, 2004, at 11:08:38
In reply to Re: Atticus....distance???no, did I say no yet...no..., posted by anastasia56 on December 20, 2004, at 23:53:43
Thanks, anastasia. You're one frood who really knows where her towel is at! (Intergalactic hitchhiker's slang for "You're very cool and have got it together.") Ta. ;) Atticus, who's hanging out with Ford Prefect right now
Posted by alesta on December 21, 2004, at 17:20:54
In reply to Re: Atticus....distance???no, did I say no yet...no... » alesta, posted by Atticus on December 21, 2004, at 10:58:34
thank you *so much* for your openness, and helping me to understand why you felt that way. i'm so relieved to see that we're still cool.:) i'm glad you know that i would never intentionally hurt you. i hope you know you can trust me. i may get a little wild sometimes, but i also have a very serious, caring, conscientious side. i have a strong sense of loyalty and empathy, and a very strong moral code. i'm glad you're okay, and that we're choosing to work through this.:-)
your friend,:)
amy
Posted by alesta on December 21, 2004, at 17:24:32
In reply to Re: Atticus....distance???no, did I say no yet...no..., posted by anastasia56 on December 20, 2004, at 23:53:43
Posted by alesta on December 21, 2004, at 18:16:26
In reply to Maybe do not dwell on one person's perception?, posted by Fallen4MyT on December 20, 2004, at 21:34:56
hi, fallen,:)
thank you so much, dear, for your helpful suggestion, and i'm really sorry i didn't reply to it amidst the flurry of posts and responding. You are one of the kindest people i know.:-) hope things are okay with you, sweetie.
hugs!:)
amy
Posted by Fallen4MyT on December 21, 2004, at 19:02:07
In reply to Re: Maybe do not dwell on one person's perception? » Fallen4MyT, posted by alesta on December 21, 2004, at 18:16:26
Awww thanks Amy I just hate to see you feel like you have to say you're sorry in soooo many colors. :(
\]> hi, fallen,:)
>
> thank you so much, dear, for your helpful suggestion, and i'm really sorry i didn't reply to it amidst the flurry of posts and responding. You are one of the kindest people i know.:-) hope things are okay with you, sweetie.
>
> hugs!:)
> amy
Posted by alesta on December 21, 2004, at 20:35:14
In reply to Re: Maybe do not dwell on one person's perception? » alesta, posted by Fallen4MyT on December 21, 2004, at 19:02:07
> Awww thanks Amy I just hate to see you feel like you have to say you're sorry in soooo many colors. :(
i know, i have become somewhat of an 'overapologizer' on this site...i kinda make my own self sick sometimes, lol. i guess i've been called 'uncivil' so many times i'm starting to believe it, lol. dr. bob thinks i'm bad and wrong, so heck, it must be true.:) well, i'm flushing that nasty ideal down the toilet. i was nice before i got here and i still am, dam* it!
anyway, you were there for me when no one else was, and i shall never forget it.:)
amy XOXO
Posted by Fallen4MyT on December 21, 2004, at 22:33:20
In reply to Re: Maybe do not dwell on one person's perception? » Fallen4MyT, posted by alesta on December 21, 2004, at 20:35:14
Awww sweetie nobody thinks you uncivil it is just Dr Bob has rules he goes by he said the same to me WAY BACK but deep down he adores us :)
HUGS
Posted by Atticus on December 22, 2004, at 12:30:40
In reply to Re: Atticus....distance???no, did I say no yet...no... » Atticus, posted by alesta on December 21, 2004, at 17:20:54
Hi Amy,
Sorry I upset you. It just took me a little time to figure out why I was so upset, to get a handle on what was going on in my noggin. I'm glad you still want to be friends. I put up a new chapter in our story up top. I was in the mood for something a bit film noirish. The ball's back in your court, and the coffeehouse audience is waiting for you to take the stage, cool mama. Ta. ;) Atticus, all in black, wearing shades, and snapping his fingers
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