Psycho-Babble Social Thread 431592

Shown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Another Reason I'm Wary

Posted by verne on December 19, 2004, at 9:31:06

Socializing online has been difficult for me. There's no way of knowing who you are really talking to.

From the news:

http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/263568p-225596c.html

 

Re: Another Reason I'm Wary » verne

Posted by Dinah on December 19, 2004, at 10:34:57

In reply to Another Reason I'm Wary, posted by verne on December 19, 2004, at 9:31:06

Wariness is always wise, on line and IRL. I'm sure that most crimes involve IRL contact.

But I think it's sad for all of us when wise caution keeps us from connecting with others.

And this from someone who never dated anyone who wasn't well known to me through work, school, or through close friendship with a friend or family member.

 

Re: Another Reason I'm Wary » verne

Posted by Glydin on December 19, 2004, at 10:50:47

In reply to Another Reason I'm Wary, posted by verne on December 19, 2004, at 9:31:06

I think a healthy dose of caution is always the best way to go. That story is so very tragic and there are other stories that have not ended well.

I think I do tell a bit more of myself than I SHOULD be comfortable with - I do generally try to not share much in the way of contact info and "how you can find me" stuff - in particular to public forums. I have shared email addresses and I've generally set them up for that purpose.

Just sharing a setup email account doesn't safeguard. I met someone here several years ago and began a very, what appeared to be, "nice" relationship. While nothing tragic occurred, this person did become verbally abusive the likes of which I had NEVER encountered. It effected me for a great while even after blocking, reporting the abuse and shutting down the address. Thankfully, I had not disclosed much in the way of personal "visit or call" information. This person engaged in this awful behavior with quite a few posters here.

It can be quite risky, but I've also met alot of great folks I have internet relationships with.

 

Re: Another Reason I'm Wary » Dinah

Posted by Toph on December 19, 2004, at 11:56:06

In reply to Re: Another Reason I'm Wary » verne, posted by Dinah on December 19, 2004, at 10:34:57

Dinah,
I remember in the past people were talking about their dogs (I'm a little freaked by verne's story , I hope it's a coincidence). I'm proud of my dog so I posted a vanity site on him. I think it was you Dinah that admonished me that it had too much information. I appreciated your advise and changed what I thought was identifying, his AKC name and a reference to my home. Do you think I should drop the web page altogether?
-Toph

 

Re: Another Reason I'm Wary » verne

Posted by alesta on December 19, 2004, at 12:55:57

In reply to Another Reason I'm Wary, posted by verne on December 19, 2004, at 9:31:06

hi verne:),
well, the way i look at it, you don't know who anyone is in "real life", either. i'm sure, for example, that woman's coworkers (if she had any) had no idea she would be a murderer. ya know? you technically can't trust anyone, online or in person. I see the internet medium as indistinguishable in that way.

now, if you're referring to whenever you meet someone in person that you've met on the internet, yes, it probably is a good idea to meet in a public place. thanks for caring about us babblers, verne.:-)

just my 2 cents.....:)

amy:)

 

Re: Another Reason I'm Wary » alesta

Posted by alesta on December 19, 2004, at 13:06:24

In reply to Re: Another Reason I'm Wary » verne, posted by alesta on December 19, 2004, at 12:55:57

actually, on second thought, there is the *exposure* of your posts to many more people than there is in the real world, and hence the greater likelihood of a psycho being out there and taking an interest in you for whatever reason, although unlikely. however, unless you give out your home address or phone number or full name, you're pretty damn safe, i feel.

amy

 

Re: Another Reason I'm Wary » Toph

Posted by Dinah on December 19, 2004, at 13:28:14

In reply to Re: Another Reason I'm Wary » Dinah, posted by Toph on December 19, 2004, at 11:56:06

Ooh, I hope I didn't admonish you. :)

It's more that most people who post here prefer to keep their anonymity and not associate their screen name with their real name.

But it's so easy to get comfortable here and forget that. I've probably done that myself lately by giving out so much personal information about my circumstances. I don't think anyone who didn't know me IRL could find me from that info, but anyone who knows me IRL sure could attach me to my screen name easily. They don't even have to know me well.

As you probably know, many kennels have their own websites. I don't think there is any harm at all in putting up personal information on the internet. I just wanted to make sure that you intended to link your real name to your screen name as much as you did.

 

Re: Another Reason I'm Wary

Posted by cubic_me on December 20, 2004, at 14:12:48

In reply to Another Reason I'm Wary, posted by verne on December 19, 2004, at 9:31:06

I read this story and was a little disturbe by it too (especially as I was due to meet 15 people from another chat forum that night!), but as has been said - can you really know anyone, IRL or online? For all we know our closest relatives could be hiding something, or they could 'flip' and turn against us. We have to take the risk or not have any relationships :(

By the way, the meetup with the chatroom people went great, they were (on the surface anyway!) some of the nicest people I have ever met - other than you gus, obviously!!!


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