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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by starrc68 on December 18, 2004, at 18:21:58
i have a 14 year old girl, here latley she has changed her friends at school and is acting very diffrent, but when we talk she says everything is ok. i am ill myself i am going through cancer and also suffer depression, so i am worried about her any sugestions the school councerler is not so good with this matter, she feels she can not talk with her so i just dont know what to do at this point. please help
candy
Posted by fallsfall on December 18, 2004, at 18:54:54
In reply to worried about my 14 year old!!!, posted by starrc68 on December 18, 2004, at 18:21:58
Is there an adult who your daughter trusts? An aunt or uncle, an old teacher, the parent of a friend (even if she isn't chummy with the friend any more), her Girl Scout leader, etc.?
Lots of times kids won't talk to their parents, but sometimes they will talk to another adult. I know that my daughter sometimes won't talk to me about things because she doesn't want to make my depression worse.
Maybe this other adult could invite her to go shopping or for ice cream, or bake cookies with her. They probably shouldn't pry - but just be there so that she can talk if she wants to.
Good luck.
Posted by starrc68 on December 18, 2004, at 19:03:08
In reply to Re: worried about my 14 year old!!! » starrc68, posted by fallsfall on December 18, 2004, at 18:54:54
yes there are a few, but she says the same thing to rhem so maybe i am making to much out of all this.
thank you
candy
Posted by Fallen4MyT on December 18, 2004, at 19:05:01
In reply to worried about my 14 year old!!!, posted by starrc68 on December 18, 2004, at 18:21:58
Star I am so sorry about your cancer I hope like my mom you will beat it. On your daughter often times hospitals have social workers on staff who are well trained in these matters and are covered by your hospital stays current and past. You may want to call and see if someone can see her? God bless
Posted by daisym on December 18, 2004, at 23:01:12
In reply to worried about my 14 year old!!!, posted by starrc68 on December 18, 2004, at 18:21:58
I have a young son who is 13. My husband, his dad, has two chronic illnesses. When my son was 11 he withdrew and had a bunch of stomach aches that kept him home from school. Lucky for us we were referred to a wonderful counselor. My son said "nothing is wrong. I ate something that disagreed with me" for at least 6 months. But slowly he opened up and one day it all came out about how worried he was about his dad. And how hard it is for a kid to live with a sick parent. These weren't "wasted" six months, he was learning stress reductions techniques, tapping and breathing, etc. And he went through a biofeedback program. He also talked football, played cards and learned magic tricks, so therapy wasn't all hard.
I'd recommend getting her to see a therapist if you can. Not all teens will agree to go. But so many of them think they aren't suppose to be angry that you are sick or worried that you might die. It was really eye opening to hear how much he knew and how accurate it was. Kids don't miss anything.
Posted by starrc68 on December 19, 2004, at 12:13:37
In reply to Re: worried about my 14 year old!!! » starrc68, posted by Fallen4MyT on December 18, 2004, at 19:05:01
thank you so much, i have beat this ugly thing once i know i can do it again its just gonna take a little while longer this time. and i am going to see if there is a person at the hospital that she can talk with, i m so wraped up in me that sometimes i dont think of things like that thank you again and ill keep everyone up to date on everything.
candy
Posted by starrc68 on December 19, 2004, at 12:15:57
In reply to Re: worried about my 14 year old!!! » starrc68, posted by daisym on December 18, 2004, at 23:01:12
thank you i am going to try the hospital i just didnt think of that, she is such a strong girl but this might just be to much to handle, it is the second time around with this cancer so we beat it once we can do it again!!!
thank you so much
candy
Posted by Fallen4MyT on December 19, 2004, at 17:54:47
In reply to Re: worried about my 14 year old!!! » Fallen4MyT, posted by starrc68 on December 19, 2004, at 12:13:37
Youre more than welcome and you will beat it again you seem like a kind and strong person. It is hard and I know you must be scared silly who wouldn't be wrapped up in themselves at times like these...still youre worried on your daughter and its cool if they have a SW at the hospital as that person will know a lot about the fears and all your daughter may have and be best able to help your wholefamily perhaps....Also it may take the stigma of being effected emotionally by your illness as well as just plain ole adolesence because it will take it OUT of the school where kids can sometimes be so cruel to one another..If you hit a brick wall on his you also may want to call hospice and see if they can suggest someone who deals with illness and adolesence..I hope this makes sense my puppy is acting up and just stoled my bottle of iced tea. HUGS
> thank you so much, i have beat this ugly thing once i know i can do it again its just gonna take a little while longer this time. and i am going to see if there is a person at the hospital that she can talk with, i m so wraped up in me that sometimes i dont think of things like that thank you again and ill keep everyone up to date on everything.
> candy
Posted by antigua on December 20, 2004, at 17:14:32
In reply to worried about my 14 year old!!!, posted by starrc68 on December 18, 2004, at 18:21:58
Is there any chance she has gotten into drugs?
antigua
Posted by starrc68 on December 23, 2004, at 18:34:25
In reply to Re: worried about my 14 year old!!!, posted by antigua on December 20, 2004, at 17:14:32
i really dont think so, she is big in the dare program at school which is a drug program with the sherrifs and all that, she a good kid i just think everything has gotten to her and also kids are so cruel at school, they always have been.
thanks
candy
Posted by starrc68 on December 23, 2004, at 18:41:39
In reply to Re: worried about my 14 year old!!! » starrc68, posted by Fallen4MyT on December 19, 2004, at 17:54:47
you are so sweet, ya know sometimes it helps just to have someone totally out of it to step in and say ya know try this ansd this, i really do appreciate everything. i laughed when u talked about your pup, absolute dog lover here my little boston has really been a life saver this round, last time i had a boxer that was almost as sick as me so that help me then until i beat it and he didnt that hurt but he was so strong. and now this boston is just so cute on those days you just dont want to crawl out of bed she is right there to make me. opps kinda got off subject there i could go on and on i love my dogs!!!!! my daughter seems to be alittle better, she says maybe pms, but i think it was a little more than that, after the holidays here we are going to find someone for her to talk with, someone else sugested another child with a mom in the same medical as me so thats an idea to, thank you so much,
try to have a great christmas
we are havibg a white one this year in ohio
18 in of snow!!!
thank you again
candy
Posted by Fallen4MyT on December 23, 2004, at 19:17:43
In reply to Re: worried about my 14 year old!!! » Fallen4MyT, posted by starrc68 on December 23, 2004, at 18:41:39
Thank you and you're more than welcome. We will keep brain storming in PB till we help find you the best answer for you and your girl :) So far you have a lot of good ones already..But brick walls can come up and we here at Babble are here to help one another over or through them if need be :) Please keep us posted and let us know how things progress??
On dogs, man I hear ya mine makes me so mad but then I bust out loling. So good for my moods and all. Animals are so pure they do not play you or anything they just ARE what they are and love you for who you are. They give more than 100% My pup he is a big pup and can be rather...hyper, his trainer early on said he is smart too smart and obnoxious :P and he is hahahah the brat will wait till I am busy and being a BIG dog will take almost anything he can ..I have had my glasses stolen off the puter (should have been on my face) had the air freshener deal taken *off the wall*..the plug in kind no less <g> and as we know from last time we spoke had him steal my iced tea bottle. I am making homemade biscuits for him and a bought a book and cutters for cat treats too XMAS..I am a bit of a loon but what can I say I am a sucker for animals. Your Boxer I am so sorry to hear of the loss of such a loyal and loving dog. I am glad that you have your Boston they love so unconditionally...how old is your dog? I hope he/she loves snow...I am close to you in the Midwest we didn't get as much snow as you did but UGH I hate snow...lol...and we got some. Oh my, I have highjacked your thread yakking on dogs lol I should have warned you:)HUGS AND WOOFS
> you are so sweet, ya know sometimes it helps just to have someone totally out of it to step in and say ya know try this ansd this, i really do appreciate everything. i laughed when u talked about your pup, absolute dog lover here my little boston has really been a life saver this round, last time i had a boxer that was almost as sick as me so that help me then until i beat it and he didnt that hurt but he was so strong. and now this boston is just so cute on those days you just dont want to crawl out of bed she is right there to make me. opps kinda got off subject there i could go on and on i love my dogs!!!!! my daughter seems to be alittle better, she says maybe pms, but i think it was a little more than that, after the holidays here we are going to find someone for her to talk with, someone else sugested another child with a mom in the same medical as me so thats an idea to, thank you so much,
> try to have a great christmas
> we are havibg a white one this year in ohio
> 18 in of snow!!!
> thank you again
> candy
Posted by starrc68 on December 24, 2004, at 9:54:05
In reply to Re: worried about my 14 year old!!! » starrc68, posted by Fallen4MyT on December 23, 2004, at 19:17:43
thanks again just a short note to say have a great xmas!!!! our boston just turned a year old on halloween. she can be a little devil. lol,, take care and talk to u soon.
candy
if u dont mind me askin where are u in midwest?
Posted by Fallen4MyT on December 26, 2004, at 20:02:48
In reply to Re: worried about my 14 year old!!! » Fallen4MyT, posted by starrc68 on December 24, 2004, at 9:54:05
What would we be without our pets? I know I would be LOST totally LOST and so lonely...My Christmas was nice to OK thanks..I sure hope and pray yours was great......HUGS
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