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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by deirdrehbrt on December 16, 2004, at 22:26:44
I learned something about myself today, it is truly major in my life. Here it is, with a little history.
Since I was about 4, I knew I was a girl. My parents insisted I was a boy. Their method of enforcing this *truth* was to beat and / or humiliate me when they saw me dressing or acting inappropriately.
I never, until today... in my 40's realized that my fear of being myself, of dressing or acting how I want to is actually a fear of my parents. Even with multiple personality disorder, so many of us inside are scared of our parents. They wouldn't let us be us. Instead, they hurt us and scared us. Well, now, we want to be us, and Dee has to learn how to let us be us. It's hard for her, but she can do it. The parents and brothers can't hurt us like they used to. We don't need to be as scared of them as we were.
Posted by Jai Narayan on December 16, 2004, at 22:38:01
In reply to a MAJOR realization, posted by deirdrehbrt on December 16, 2004, at 22:26:44
wonderful realization.
It's true the hurt is over and now we are healing.
I have left so many of me behind as I heal all the pain my parents have inflicted.
Thank you for sharing this important realization.
jai
Posted by Toph on December 16, 2004, at 22:51:34
In reply to a MAJOR realization, posted by deirdrehbrt on December 16, 2004, at 22:26:44
Congratulations on your discovery Dee. Isn't it bizarre how parents try to mold a child into something they wanted themselves to be and not simply be satisfied with the gift they were given? If they were afraid of who you are, its in part because of their insecurities and reflects a handicap they have in embracing your uniqueness. To be truely candid, however, these things are easier to say to you than it would be if you were my own son. I hope some day soon you will become Dee in the first person singular.
-Toph
Posted by anastasia56 on December 16, 2004, at 23:02:04
In reply to Re: a MAJOR realization » deirdrehbrt, posted by Toph on December 16, 2004, at 22:51:34
how incredible for you! kudos for coming to a life altering enlightenment. stay true to yourself.
anastasia
Posted by Poet on December 16, 2004, at 23:28:02
In reply to a MAJOR realization, posted by deirdrehbrt on December 16, 2004, at 22:26:44
Dee,
This is a wonderful realization.
You are accepting your true self and that's so hard to do. This takes strength and courage and you are not that humiliated four year old. You are the person who I know as *Dee* and she is very strong.
(((Dee)))
Poet
Posted by Tabitha on December 17, 2004, at 2:08:48
In reply to a MAJOR realization, posted by deirdrehbrt on December 16, 2004, at 22:26:44
So true, Dee. You are the parent now. You can un-learn the bad (critical, rejecting) parenting and replace it with loving, nurturing, accepting parenting. You can become the warm accepting parent your little girl-self didn't have. Isn't that great to realize?
Posted by gardenergirl on December 17, 2004, at 9:33:53
In reply to Re: a MAJOR realization, posted by Tabitha on December 17, 2004, at 2:08:48
Dee,
What a wonderful experience to have this insight. I'm so happy to hear it, and also to hear from you. I've often wondered how you were doing.Enjoy your healing! You deserve it.
gg
Posted by B2Chica on December 17, 2004, at 9:56:11
In reply to a MAJOR realization, posted by deirdrehbrt on December 16, 2004, at 22:26:44
i could always tell you are an incredible being sweet Dee. I'm glad to see you are coming into your own. don't just Be it, OWN it. You are you and others love you because of who you TRULY ARE. let yourself be free and true.
Lots of love and support.
i'm proud to know you.
b2c.
Posted by deirdrehbrt on December 17, 2004, at 17:15:21
In reply to Re: a MAJOR realization, posted by gardenergirl on December 17, 2004, at 9:33:53
Hi there gg. I've missed you too. I have trouble getting on, mostly from being really depressed and not having the energy. I'm sorry about that.
I'm on my second fairly good day in a row and hoping it sticks for a little while. If it does, I'll be around to bug you and everyone else. :-)Dee.
Posted by deirdrehbrt on December 17, 2004, at 17:17:10
In reply to Re: a MAJOR realization, posted by B2Chica on December 17, 2004, at 9:56:11
Thanks everyone. Your support means alot to me, in part because it's nice to have people who actually care, but also because I know that you've all been through your own stuff. You're all awesome.
Dee.
Posted by ghost on December 18, 2004, at 9:45:08
In reply to a MAJOR realization, posted by deirdrehbrt on December 16, 2004, at 22:26:44
i'm so happy for you :)
and proud. very proud.
lots of love,
ghost, Ice Cream Club
This is the end of the thread.
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