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Posted by Jai Narayan on December 14, 2004, at 20:02:40
In reply to Re: Where are those that keep me grounded » AdaGrace, posted by Atticus on December 14, 2004, at 12:55:35
I will vouch for Atticus.
He's very honest, clear and forgiving.
Ja*
Posted by AdaGrace on December 15, 2004, at 16:22:23
In reply to Re: Where are those that keep me grounded » AdaGrace, posted by Atticus on December 14, 2004, at 12:55:35
I didn't mean that I thought you would hurt my feelings....I really did want a critique from you. I know well enough about your writing that it would be an honest critique, yet civil, and constructive.....now that I read what I wrote here, I sorta think I sounded b**chy, didn't mean to...I love your writing. I wanna be better and would trust your opinion.
Posted by AdaGrace on December 15, 2004, at 16:24:41
In reply to Re: Attica, Atticu, Atticus » Atticus, posted by AdaGrace on December 15, 2004, at 16:22:23
Check out the Relationship Board.......I've gone off to another plane of exhistence.......must be the drugs, sex and rock 'n' roll.
Ada, Sick of My Grace
Posted by Atticus on December 15, 2004, at 18:41:58
In reply to Re: By the way, I post to myself now » AdaGrace, posted by AdaGrace on December 15, 2004, at 16:24:41
Well, just as long as it's things that are good for you. If you'd said it was due to tofu and cauliflower and Barry Manilow, I'd be concerned and try to set up an intervention. ;) Atticus
Posted by AdaGrace on December 15, 2004, at 19:49:42
In reply to Re: By the way, I post to myself now » AdaGrace, posted by Atticus on December 15, 2004, at 18:41:58
Hottest spot norht of Havanna...........
WTF, Barry is aight...........Actually Atticus my dear........I don't think it is good for me......as Miss Honeybuns once said......dwelling is not always a good thing.....or maybe she said...."Ada, get your head out of your *ss and live life in the moment....."
I forget. I remember.
I think. I withdraw.
I explode. I dwindle.
I live the life that if so full of flaw.Who's to say, I can not write.
I try my best....
I try without sight.Who am I?
What will I become?
Where is the laughter
Where is the sun........I'm drunk again.
Can't you tell
wish I was dead
throw me in a well.....Ada, thinking of the end, hoping for joy, thinking of blood, and severe pain......wouldn't that be lovely......
Isn't she lovely,
Isn's she wonderful.....Stevey Sing to me Baby.....
Posted by Atticus on December 15, 2004, at 21:32:50
In reply to Re: At the Copa, CopaCabanna » Atticus, posted by AdaGrace on December 15, 2004, at 19:49:42
I can remember spending most of the late '90s and early '00s just pummeling myself unconscious almost every night with fistfuls of Klonopin, Ambien, and Jack Daniels. The only way to get out from under everything was to induce a blackout. And I only really stopped, if I'm to be honest about it, was because I'd wake up nauseous at about four in the morning, get sick, and think only, "Dammit, just puked away a lot of perfectly good benzos." These days, when morning rears its hated head, and my joints literally ache from being tensed up all night long as I ride the nightmare express (thank you, Effexor), I just try to focus on a single very tactile pleasant memory or something small that I can do for myself that day. Yesterday, it was playing with a dog at my grandmother's house in Jersey named Sam. Day before that, it was the smell of bacon filling the apartment, wafting through the air vents, on Sunday mornings when I was a kid, and knowing the Daily News comics section was laid out and waiting for me at the kitchen table. A lot of times, it's been the anticipation of having scrambled eggs and sausage at a nearby diner on a Saturday or day off. Not much of a life preserver, I admit, but it helps get my mind away from the big scary questions that you're talking about; I've sat up in bed clutching the sides of my head and shouted, "Stop!" when the "What will become of me?" thought starts circling my brain like a shark. I think that's the most terrifying one to me in the morning in the dark. I think it's best left unanswered and ignored at times like this. Hope you find your way to some peaceful thoughts tonight. Leave the cosmic stuff to whoever controls it. Atticus
Posted by AdaGrace on December 16, 2004, at 7:55:18
In reply to Re: At the Copa, CopaCabanna » AdaGrace, posted by Atticus on December 15, 2004, at 21:32:50
These days, with all the trials and tribulations I find it so hard to stop thinking of the cosmic stuff. It just is so prevalent in my mind.
BTW, I love the way you write.......very soulful, soothing.......can we have an affair? apparently Susan, who cannot stop saying *ss thinks I should. I choose you, would make my life richer doncha think? Okay, I'm just kidding......gotta go turn the heat up my fingers are numb.
Ada, thinking of SAW, Grace
Posted by alesta on December 16, 2004, at 16:00:06
In reply to Where are those that keep me grounded, posted by AdaGrace on December 14, 2004, at 7:08:25
hi adagrace,
your response made me feel a bit uneasy. as long as we're being out in the open, i would be there for you but i feel like you ignore my responses to you. but i have tried to be a good friend to you. i'm sorry you felt that way about my return to the board. not much i can do about it, though, other than disappear. there's room for everybody here.
amy
Posted by Jai Narayan on December 16, 2004, at 16:10:34
In reply to Re: Where are those that keep me grounded » AdaGrace, posted by alesta on December 16, 2004, at 16:00:06
I will be happy to welcome you back.
Please feel free to post.
No one can block another poster except Dr. Bob.
Ja*
Posted by alesta on December 16, 2004, at 18:29:34
In reply to Where are those that keep me grounded, posted by AdaGrace on December 14, 2004, at 7:08:25
ada,
maybe i should just shut up. :) it's that time of the month. i don't want anyone to resent me, but am probably overreacting. my apologies, ada. let's find the good again, ada, lol..oh..boy.amy, who should probably continue to stay away for a few days due to PMS, or possibly forever
Posted by Atticus on December 16, 2004, at 18:42:10
In reply to Re: Where are those that keep me grounded » AdaGrace, posted by alesta on December 16, 2004, at 18:29:34
... or even a little while, unless you really need a break. I feel like I'm just getting to know you, and I think you're a lot of fun. Stay tres groovy, mama. I'd really miss you if you disppeared from these pages. ;) Funkmeister Atticus
Posted by Gabbix2 on December 16, 2004, at 19:00:44
In reply to Re: Where are those that keep me grounded » AdaGrace, posted by alesta on December 16, 2004, at 18:29:34
> amy, who should probably continue to stay away for a few days due to PMS, or possibly forever
Doesn't P.M.S make babble fun? You can read any emotion into the text. Every post is a Rorshac test. I'm such a stereotypical P.M.S. sufferer. and truly, on babble during those days I'd see an innocent little happy face on someone's post to me, and I'd think "that one is being sarcastic" and I'd feel like I'd been kicked in the stomach.
I either learned to wait to respond or to apologize very well. Cause I'd look back a week later and think "What corner of the universe was my brain in?"
Posted by anastasia56 on December 16, 2004, at 19:07:42
In reply to Re: Where are those that keep me grounded » AdaGrace, posted by alesta on December 16, 2004, at 16:00:06
what did i miss? what response she made to you?
Posted by alesta on December 16, 2004, at 20:09:29
In reply to Alesta - Don't you dare stay away forever ... » alesta, posted by Atticus on December 16, 2004, at 18:42:10
hey, you guys, i *really* appreciate it. atticus, right back at you papi. gabbi, that's exactly how i feel sweetie. you make some stupid comment and it's like the morning after some big party that you supposedly had a rippin time at but don't remember sh*t. anastasia, i don't know what to tell you right now. this happens to me every time i pms..i need an exorcism or something y'all (or appear to)..
thanks,:)
amy
Posted by alesta on December 16, 2004, at 20:24:41
In reply to Where are those that keep me grounded, posted by AdaGrace on December 14, 2004, at 7:08:25
Ada, if we could talk i'd appreciate it. you directed that comment at me and i took it offensively due to my current state. i am sorry. remember when you first got here and i was trying hard to help and stuff? i really try to help most of the time..
anyway, hope to hear from you. large group dynamics are fun, aren't they? :)
your friend?,
amy
Posted by alesta on December 16, 2004, at 20:27:08
In reply to Re: Alesta - Don't you dare stay away forever ... » Atticus, posted by alesta on December 16, 2004, at 20:09:29
Posted by Jai Narayan on December 16, 2004, at 21:34:34
In reply to Re: Where are those that keep me grounded » AdaGrace, posted by alesta on December 16, 2004, at 18:29:34
Hey sweetie, please don't go away.
Ja*
Posted by alesta on December 16, 2004, at 21:57:45
In reply to alesta, posted by Jai Narayan on December 16, 2004, at 16:10:34
> I will be happy to welcome you back.
> Please feel free to post.
> No one can block another poster except Dr. Bob.
> Ja*hi ja* :)
i just realized i didn't respond to you..sorry, love! thanx much for being supportive. and for welcoming me.:)i think we all sometimes say things we wish we could take back. (although i don't even know if she is pissed off yet! guess i'm jumping the gun here...i was trying to be open as she was. sometimes not a good idea, though..)
amy
Posted by Jai Narayan on December 16, 2004, at 22:23:19
In reply to Re: alesta » Jai Narayan, posted by alesta on December 16, 2004, at 21:57:45
I certainly know about doing that.
I am way too open all the time!
You never know about friends...
sometimes they forgive.
I hope that is what happens for you.
I have alienated a few people in my time here on babble.
some have forgiven but not all.
Bless it and let it go.
Ja*
Posted by just plain jane on December 16, 2004, at 22:31:57
In reply to Where are those that keep me grounded, posted by AdaGrace on December 14, 2004, at 7:08:25
For a month.
just plain me
out for a couple days
Posted by AdaGrace on December 17, 2004, at 7:31:12
In reply to Re: Where are those that keep me grounded » AdaGrace, posted by alesta on December 16, 2004, at 20:24:41
My Dear Alesta,
#1 - my internet usage has been severely limited since you've been gone.
#2 - my post meant that I wanted to welcome you back but didn't have time due to #1
#2.5 - I meant that it was hard for me to catch up with you and everyone (re: posts)because of #1
#3 - I appreciate whole heartedly what you did for me when I first came here.
#4 - Sometimes I don't respond because it is so long after the post that I even get on here and read it that I feel as if the board has moved on, and it's not a reflection on you, just feel as if it is a moot point - I do not mean to offend.
#5. - and certainly the best - I am selfish and self centered, I tend to start new threads instead of responding to others or even my own. There, I said it, I'm self absorbed, something I accused someone else of the other day......It's me, I'm the self absorbed one......only want to talk about my own problems, not others.....I'm not any help at all to people because I want only to wine about myself.........
Ada, very sorry that I started this little poem in jest because it was missread, missinterpreted, and just plain missed the point, Grace
Posted by AdaGrace on December 17, 2004, at 7:31:53
In reply to AdaGrace, you're grounded. » AdaGrace, posted by just plain jane on December 16, 2004, at 22:31:57
Fine but I'm not sittin in the freakin corner again, because I'd just write obscenities on the wall........
Posted by AdaGrace on December 17, 2004, at 7:32:50
In reply to AdaGrace, posted by Jai Narayan on December 16, 2004, at 21:34:34
Couldn't if I tried, this is my therapy, remember?
Posted by alesta on December 17, 2004, at 10:27:30
In reply to Re: Ahhh Shyte » alesta, posted by AdaGrace on December 17, 2004, at 7:31:12
ada i'm sorry. i guess i just felt hurt, probably due mostly to oversensitivity, and saw this as an opportunity to say so. i wish i hadn't said anything. thanks for accepting my apology.:) i'm glad you're here. you're a zany, fun lady. i've noticed you really working on your relationship and am really proud of you. let's both stick around, why don't we. i know leaving just isn't in the cards for us, lol, we're hooked. i didn't mean to ruin your poem, hon.:)
take care,
amy
Posted by AdaGrace on December 17, 2004, at 10:41:55
In reply to Re: Ahhh Shyte » AdaGrace, posted by alesta on December 17, 2004, at 10:27:30
You didn't ruin my poem, far from it........you pointed out something to me that needed to be done.....just please remember that I cannot post as often as I used to be able to and I may not get back to you as quickly as I should, it's hard to get a few lines typed at work anymore and hubby is jealous of the pc at home.......
I missed you.....
Ada
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