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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by Susan47 on September 4, 2004, at 10:38:48
In reply to my life is crumbling around me and . . ., posted by Angel Girl on September 4, 2004, at 5:38:10
(((((Angel Girl)))))
Remember there're times when you feel good and everything looks different. Can you do something to be kind to yourself? What makes you feel good? There must be one little thing. Just one, and nothing that includes SI okay. Hot bath? Good book (although it can be impossible to concentrate that much, even TV flies by I know and you wonder what the hell you've been doing for the last three hours, where did I GO?). I find (believe it or not and I know this sounds really silly) that jigsaw puzzles help me, even colouring like a little kid, do you know any little kids you can give some attention to? They love it when you play with them and it can make me feel really really good too. LIke I'm taking care of their needs *and* my own inner child is getting taken care of as well. And I can't disappoint little kids that easily; they love the attention.
Posted by justyourlaugh on September 4, 2004, at 13:00:34
In reply to my life is crumbling around me and . . ., posted by Angel Girl on September 4, 2004, at 5:38:10
i do understand your pain
do not run away
stay and fight
one day at a time
one minute
there is releif out there
keep trying to find it
keep posting
keep talking
we are pulling for you
jyl
Posted by partlycloudy on September 5, 2004, at 4:56:40
In reply to my life is crumbling around me and . . ., posted by Angel Girl on September 4, 2004, at 5:38:10
Angel, things will get better again. Do something extra soothing for yourself today: a bubbly, luxurious bath. Put some lavender oil in it. After, wrap yourself up in a fluffy towel for an hour. Don't bother getting dressed until you feel like it! Your soul needs some comfort right now - can you feel us reaching out to you?
pc
Posted by allisonf on September 5, 2004, at 9:44:50
In reply to my life is crumbling around me and . . ., posted by Angel Girl on September 4, 2004, at 5:38:10
Angelgirl, Are you feeling any better today? I am there with all the other posters--try to do something good for yourself. Bubble baths are high on my list. Or even tho it feels counterintuitive b/c you don't have the energy, exercising is always good.
I totally understand about the crisis hotlines. They don't always work. Also, please don't be so hard on yourself about being a burden to your family. It may feel that way now, but things are colored by the difficulties that you're going thru.
((Angel)) Let us know how you are.
Allison
Posted by SAW on September 6, 2004, at 6:47:53
In reply to Re: my life is crumbling around me and . . ., posted by allisonf on September 5, 2004, at 9:44:50
Hi Angel - my name is Sabrina. I really hope you are feeling a little bit better. There is nothing that I can really add to what the other guys ( /gals) have said but wanted to send you some thoughts anyway. You are feeling very vulnerable right now, and that alone is a strength. I firmly believe we become stronger from our vulnerability and you have already made a very important step by reaching out. Not being okay is okay! Treat any lurking blues with big doses of TLC and self-acceptance. (Probably the hardest thing of all to do hey!)
Hugs
Sabrina
Posted by Angel Girl on September 7, 2004, at 2:28:51
In reply to Re: my life is crumbling around me and . . ., posted by SAW on September 6, 2004, at 6:47:53
I'm not feeling quite as depressed as I was when I first posted but still having a hard time with some of my family. My brother tried to have me commited to the psych ward a couple of weeks ago and we haven't spoken since. A few days ago he had a heart attack and I want to make amends even though I'm still mad at him. He still won't have anything to do with me. And then there's my 26 yr old son who told me a couple of days ago that he wouldn't get upset if I died.
Yep, I'm really feeling the love. NOT!!!
And everybody wonders why I prefer to be a recluse in my apartment and never see anyone.
Angel Girl
Posted by SAW on September 7, 2004, at 2:46:33
In reply to Re: my life is crumbling around me and . . ., posted by Angel Girl on September 7, 2004, at 2:28:51
((((Angel Girl)))) I don't even know what to say that might help you to feel better. I only hope that you will continue to look for support and love on Babble and feel comforted that we are truly on your side and feel very much for what you are going through.
Take care Angel Girl
SabrinaPS. (I apologise if I have been forward by speaking for others)
Posted by Angel Girl on September 9, 2004, at 6:01:00
In reply to Re: my life is crumbling around me and . . . » Angel Girl, posted by Susan47 on September 4, 2004, at 10:38:48
> (((((Angel Girl)))))
> Remember there're times when you feel good and everything looks different. Can you do something to be kind to yourself? What makes you feel good? There must be one little thing. Just one, and nothing that includes SI okay. Hot bath? Good book (although it can be impossible to concentrate that much, even TV flies by I know and you wonder what the hell you've been doing for the last three hours, where did I GO?). I find (believe it or not and I know this sounds really silly) that jigsaw puzzles help me, even colouring like a little kid, do you know any little kids you can give some attention to? They love it when you play with them and it can make me feel really really good too. LIke I'm taking care of their needs *and* my own inner child is getting taken care of as well. And I can't disappoint little kids that easily; they love the attention.Susan47
Funny you should mention jigsaw puzzles. I do 2 online every day. I also play other harmless games on the computer. I'm totally addicted to them. Now, if I could only get off this thing and clean my much neglected apartment. ugh! I just haven't been able to motivate myself to do anything productive in several months. It's not that I like my apartment like this but I just don't have the ambition to do anything about it.
Angel Girl
Posted by Angel Girl on September 9, 2004, at 6:03:04
In reply to Re: my life is crumbling around me and . . ., posted by SAW on September 6, 2004, at 6:47:53
> Hi Angel - my name is Sabrina. I really hope you are feeling a little bit better. There is nothing that I can really add to what the other guys ( /gals) have said but wanted to send you some thoughts anyway. You are feeling very vulnerable right now, and that alone is a strength. I firmly believe we become stronger from our vulnerability and you have already made a very important step by reaching out. Not being okay is okay! Treat any lurking blues with big doses of TLC and self-acceptance. (Probably the hardest thing of all to do hey!)
>
> Hugs
> Sabrina
SabrinaSelf-acceptance? Girl, I absolutely HATE myself.
Angel Girl
Posted by saw on September 9, 2004, at 6:10:31
In reply to Re: my life is crumbling around me and . . . » SAW, posted by Angel Girl on September 9, 2004, at 6:03:04
That's ok, I understand. I don't like me too much either. Just so long as you know that WE accept you and we DON'T hate you.
(((((Angel Girl)))))
Sabrina
Posted by Angel Girl on September 9, 2004, at 6:13:59
In reply to Re: my life is crumbling around me and . . . » Angel Girl, posted by SAW on September 7, 2004, at 2:46:33
> ((((Angel Girl)))) I don't even know what to say that might help you to feel better. I only hope that you will continue to look for support and love on Babble and feel comforted that we are truly on your side and feel very much for what you are going through.
>
> Take care Angel Girl
> Sabrina
>
> PS. (I apologise if I have been forward by speaking for others)
>
>
SabrinaI will continue to post here. It's about the only place online where I feel that I belong. "Normal" people can't seem to understand me and my thought processes are totally different from their's. That usually lends itself for some very volatile relationships. It's very hard for me to keep friends, even online. I always interpret things the wrong way.
You can now add my brother's wife to the list of people that are causing me grief. She blew up at me a few days ago in email. I thought I was being nice. I guess I don't know what nice is anymore. Now I find it safer to try not to email anybody anymore. About the only people I seem to be able to get along with is my sister, son's g/f and sometimes my mom. I even had a fight with my GP the 2nd last time I saw him. What the heck is wrong with me that I can't get along with anybody? It's much easier to stay inside my apt (my comfort zone) with my 2 cats. At least they give me unconditional love. I don't know what I would do without them.
I *really* hope I don't tick somebody off here. I never mean to. :(
Angel Girl
Posted by saw on September 9, 2004, at 6:18:46
In reply to Re: my life is crumbling around me and . . ., posted by Angel Girl on September 9, 2004, at 6:01:00
I downloaded a number of games for my 6yr old son who has adhd. He loves them, and in the process, I got addicted to a couple of them too. Really cute if you want to check it out at www dot adders dot org
Sabrina
Posted by saw on September 9, 2004, at 6:28:28
In reply to Re: my life is crumbling around me and . . . » SAW, posted by Angel Girl on September 9, 2004, at 6:13:59
You are not and will not tick anybody off. You are simply venting and sharing which is very important for you right now. I can read the "tears" in your posts and I really wish there was some way to ease your loneliness and unhappiness.
Look after yourself Angel Girl and please, please call on me anytime.
With a hug to you
Sabrina
Posted by gardenergirl on September 9, 2004, at 8:00:51
In reply to Re: my life is crumbling around me and . . . » SAW, posted by Angel Girl on September 9, 2004, at 6:13:59
Angel Girl,
I'm sorry things are so rough right now. I read what you wrote about your sister-in-law, and I felt so frustrated for you. It can be really hard to communicate in email and online. Just look at how things sometimes blow up here... But for the most part, you are right, this is a great place to find warm, supportive people who accept you as you are.Please take care,
gg
Posted by TexasChic on September 10, 2004, at 10:36:30
In reply to my life is crumbling around me and . . ., posted by Angel Girl on September 4, 2004, at 5:38:10
Wow! Everything you said sounds so-o-o familiar. I could have written that post myself. I feel like I'm balancing on a ledge, and I don't know if I'll fall to safety or fall off a cliff. I've found myself asking the same question as you – why does life have to be so hard! But I guess we can either give up or fight it. Will you try to fight it with me? Maybe we can accomplish together, what we can't alone.
Posted by partlycloudy on September 10, 2004, at 13:02:09
In reply to Re: my life is crumbling around me and . . . » SAW, posted by Angel Girl on September 9, 2004, at 6:13:59
Hey, Angel Girl - I just wanted to add that when I am depressed, it quite often gets expressed as anger towards others. There are days when no one can say anything to me that doesn't touch me off. Please be easy on yourself.
Posted by Angel Girl on September 12, 2004, at 7:37:25
In reply to Re: my life is crumbling around me and . . . » Angel Girl, posted by saw on September 9, 2004, at 6:28:28
> You are not and will not tick anybody off. You are simply venting and sharing which is very important for you right now. I can read the "tears" in your posts and I really wish there was some way to ease your loneliness and unhappiness.
>
> Look after yourself Angel Girl and please, please call on me anytime.
>
> With a hug to you
> Sabrina
>
SabrinaThanks for the link. I bookmarked it and will look at it later when I have more time. I hope you're right about me not ticking anybody off. I never intend to but it seems I have a real knack for it anyway. You're right, I am very unhappy and can't even remember when I was happy. I'm not even sure what that is anymore but more than anything I'm frustrated. I'm frustrated that nobody seems to understand me and also that I misinterpret what others say to me and then that always leads to problems and the losing of friends and now family members. :(
angel girl
Posted by Angel Girl on September 12, 2004, at 7:41:37
In reply to Re: my life is crumbling around me and . . . » Angel Girl, posted by gardenergirl on September 9, 2004, at 8:00:51
> Angel Girl,
> I'm sorry things are so rough right now. I read what you wrote about your sister-in-law, and I felt so frustrated for you. It can be really hard to communicate in email and online. Just look at how things sometimes blow up here... But for the most part, you are right, this is a great place to find warm, supportive people who accept you as you are.
>
> Please take care,
> gg
ggYou're right. Communicating through email or online can easily be misinterpretted. My sister is well aware of my problem doing that and she warned my brother that he was asking for trouble if he was going to continue talking to me in email and strongly urged him to phone me. Unfortunately, he chose to continue through email.
angel girl
Posted by Angel Girl on September 12, 2004, at 7:46:59
In reply to Re: my life is crumbling around me and . . ., posted by TexasChic on September 10, 2004, at 10:36:30
> Wow! Everything you said sounds so-o-o familiar. I could have written that post myself. I feel like I'm balancing on a ledge, and I don't know if I'll fall to safety or fall off a cliff. I've found myself asking the same question as you – why does life have to be so hard! But I guess we can either give up or fight it. Will you try to fight it with me? Maybe we can accomplish together, what we can't alone.
texaschicYour post brings tears to my eyes. Although it's good to hear that I'm not the only one who has this problem, it is also very sad to hear somebody else is also enduring the same frustrations and pain. I will continue to fight it and we can fight it together. I wish I could take your pain from you so that you don't have to go through it too. Hugs to you texaschic.
angel girl
Posted by Angel Girl on September 12, 2004, at 7:52:02
In reply to Re: my life is crumbling around me and . . . » Angel Girl, posted by partlycloudy on September 10, 2004, at 13:02:09
> Hey, Angel Girl - I just wanted to add that when I am depressed, it quite often gets expressed as anger towards others. There are days when no one can say anything to me that doesn't touch me off. Please be easy on yourself.
pcI know what you mean. Anger seems to be with me so much lately and it is not the true me. Right now I'm not on enough mood stabilizers because I'm having problems finding the right ones. Hopefully, the right meds will soon be found for me and the anger will be gone. I started a new one a week ago and so far it is side effect free. With any luck, that will continue as I tirate to desired dosage. I'm not used to anger and I don't know how to deal with it and I hate ticking everybody off. I just wish I knew how to stop.
angel girl
Posted by TexasChic on September 12, 2004, at 8:40:04
In reply to Re: my life is crumbling around me and . . . » TexasChic, posted by Angel Girl on September 12, 2004, at 7:46:59
That's so sweet! Hugs to you too!
We all have to find our way in life. Its just harder for some than others (us). But that just means we'll be stronger and more sensitive to others feelings. That's much more interesting than those boring people that have had the easy life!
Posted by gardenergirl on September 12, 2004, at 20:47:15
In reply to Re: my life is crumbling around me and . . . » gardenergirl, posted by Angel Girl on September 12, 2004, at 7:41:37
Posted by saw on September 13, 2004, at 1:19:24
In reply to Re: my life is crumbling around me and . . . » saw, posted by Angel Girl on September 12, 2004, at 7:37:25
Hi Angel Girl
I have tendency, particularly if I have been drinking, to react to a quite normal situation with the most extreme and volatile anger. All I end up doing is driving wedges between myself and the people I love. And then I try and justify the anger by saying I have a right to my opinion and I have a right to my feelings. And all the while, I feel completely misunderstood and frustrated. I really do understand what you are going through.
Hugs
Sabrina
Posted by Angel Girl on September 16, 2004, at 13:59:48
In reply to Re: my life is crumbling around me and . . ., posted by TexasChic on September 12, 2004, at 8:40:04
> That's so sweet! Hugs to you too!
> We all have to find our way in life. Its just harder for some than others (us). But that just means we'll be stronger and more sensitive to others feelings. That's much more interesting than those boring people that have had the easy life!
texaschicSometimes boring can be a welcome change if it means that things can be easier. :(
angel girl
Posted by Angel Girl on September 23, 2004, at 14:41:40
In reply to Re: my life is crumbling around me and . . ., posted by saw on September 13, 2004, at 1:19:24
> Hi Angel Girl
>
> I have tendency, particularly if I have been drinking, to react to a quite normal situation with the most extreme and volatile anger. All I end up doing is driving wedges between myself and the people I love. And then I try and justify the anger by saying I have a right to my opinion and I have a right to my feelings. And all the while, I feel completely misunderstood and frustrated. I really do understand what you are going through.
>
> Hugs
> Sabrina
SabrinaMisunderstood and frustrated. Yes, that's exactly how I feel. Seems I use those 2 words a lot. And then those feelings lead me to feeling more depressed. Thanks for the hugs. Sending some back your way. I think we could all use them.
Angel Girl
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