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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by jay on April 4, 2004, at 9:55:55
Well, it's a Flash movie, about dreams. And..I co-created it, but still take, umm...51% of the credit. ;-) You can view it here: (just copy the link into your browser..the *whole* link.)
http://home.cogeco.ca/~jwmaclachlan/nocturevid.swfNote: if you have dial-up, it may take longer to run...
It is a music video, with the music to the Song "Nocturne", which is about..ahhh..dreams! It is by Rush. I have posted the words below so you can sing along to the video..;-)Note that it isn't the complete song..it would be too big to be able to play on the internet. Enjoy!RUSH
NocturneDid I have a dream?
Or did the dream have me?Set off on a night-sea journey
Without memory or desire
Drifting through lost latitudes
With no compass and no chartFlying through hallucination
Distant voices, signal fires
Lighting up my unconscious
And the secret places of the heartDream - temporary madness
Dream - a voice in the wilderness
Dream - unconscious revelations
The morning says, the answer is yesFloating through a darkened mirror
Deep reflections in disguise
Soaring through lost altitudes
Without wonder, without fearSymbols on a field of visions
Behind the curtain of sleeping eyes
On the instant of waking
Another world of dreams appearsDream - temporary madness
Dream - a walk in the wilderness
Dream - unconscious recreation
The morning says the answer is yes
Posted by karen_kay on April 4, 2004, at 11:43:54
In reply to A movie I made!!! :-), posted by jay on April 4, 2004, at 9:55:55
Posted by jay on April 4, 2004, at 20:01:49
In reply to and what a grand movie you made jay (nm), posted by karen_kay on April 4, 2004, at 11:43:54
K.k., it's been another bad day. I slep't most of it away, as I feel only protected in the deep comfort of my bed, under the blankets. My Mom told me my Dad, who is 67 and still suffers from depression and anxiety, got drunk (he is a 'sweet' drunk...he doesn't do anything bad) and went to bed at 6:30 p.m. He has been deeply disturbed by both my life events and my inability to get over my depression and social phobia. I feel like I am hurting him...and that hurts me so bad I start to cry most of the day. He is such a sweet and delicate man, and I recall in past years before my tragedies and before my Major depression, when he was at his worst with his depression. He'd have to go to bed at 3:00 pm in the afternoon...would be crying *always*...and I recall holding him in my arms while he was crying...just like he did with me when I was little. I want *so bad* for him to see me 'well', atleast partially back to my past self, because he has health problems, and that damn shadow of death again looms. I love my parents so, so, so deeply...for they gave *everything* to me, selflessly, a gift that many people wish they had. Even now I am starting to cry, and I wish I could just cry and cry and purge out every single ounce of pain in that, empty my head and reinvent myself.
I was a "special need" (as past known by the predjudiced name of 'retarted') as a young one. I had to go to tons of special-ed, had a speech impediment, couldn't spell, do math, and barely write. My doctor said that is likely why I have this social phobia...because it is far beyond the 'standard' description. I am going to try a new psychiatrist, and hopefully they will pick up on this (and I have to *force* myself to tell them)..like I don't care...put me on 1000 drugs if needed. I have never, ever sought elation with medications, even if me just feeling 30 percent better, is all I ask for. I remember so much from childhood...and the fact it has stayed with me for 34 years. Can you believe this...I had only *one*... one real friend from kindergarden up until I graduated high school. Then, less then a year later, he shot himself in the head, killed himself, in his bedroom. One good friend, who I loved deeply, and then I am left with nobody. I lost my only child to death, as well as my fiance.
I put that mental videotape in my head, that everybody, everybody *goes away*..especially those closest to me. Obviously, that is not a nice thing to carry around, and I can feel where all of the fire in my mind comes from.Anyhow...enough of my babbling. I just felt a need to get something in the open. Thanks again for your kindness..
Sincerly,
Jay
Posted by karen_kay on April 4, 2004, at 20:25:24
In reply to Thank you vedy, vedy much.... » karen_kay, posted by jay on April 4, 2004, at 20:01:49
(jay) i know that doesn't help much. and i want to make things so much better for you, yet feel so helpless to do so. i'll be your friend though. i know it's not much, but that's all i can give. i'm honestly so sorry that's all i have. i wish i were more, but i'm helpless you know?? i'm only a child who's losing her spark
and about friends.... you have so many more than you realize. they're out there, you just don't know it yet. you're a great guy jay, and i'd be honored to be considered your friend. i'd be flattered if you considered me one as well. i think this board knows me better than my "friends" do. so, how many friends do you really have? i like to think i have many here. and many very fine ones indeed. just because we haven't met face to face doesn't mean i don't hurt any less when they do, you know? in fact, i think some of the people on the boards are my closest friends because i can be a bit more honest.
Posted by bookgurl99 on April 4, 2004, at 21:38:53
In reply to A movie I made!!! :-), posted by jay on April 4, 2004, at 9:55:55
Jay --
I really liked it. It was mesmerizing enough to make me listen to the music, which I normally wouldn't do. I particularly liked the row of dancing women. :D
I am amazed that you've broken through your pain to concentrate on creating.
Are you doing better? I hope you get some relief soon.
Posted by jay on April 5, 2004, at 5:38:39
In reply to Re: Thank you vedy, vedy much.... » jay, posted by karen_kay on April 4, 2004, at 20:25:24
Posted by jay on April 5, 2004, at 6:01:51
In reply to Re: A movie I made!!! :-) » jay, posted by bookgurl99 on April 4, 2004, at 21:38:53
> Jay --
>
> I really liked it. It was mesmerizing enough to make me listen to the music, which I normally wouldn't do. I particularly liked the row of dancing women. :D
>
> I am amazed that you've broken through your pain to concentrate on creating.
>
> Are you doing better? I hope you get some >relief soon.Thanks so much BG. The hardest part was thinking up the designs, and most are traced from real pictures. There are even actual pics in the Flash movie. It’s not too hard to do, with some of the amazing Flash tools they have out there. Mostly, you just insert things on a timeline, and the program runs through the images along that line. That’s the simple explanation..as there is some other stuff you have to do involving inserting angles, and many other variables. But I am glad you like it. :-) Yahh..the “Bee-Bop” girl was fun to put in.(you liked those hip moves, eh?..;-)..and since I love the song that goes with it, it helped me to explore further aspects of my dreams. I love the metaphors and imagery..like “Secret places of the heart..”..”Distant voices, signal fires”..”Dream - a walk in the wilderness”. As you and so many of us know with depression, dreams can often be very exotic, and often I wake up and go “What the hell???” So, I thought adding in a torrent of deep symbolism a small movie would allow was a great angle.
As far as the creativity and my depression, it took about half a year to do this, so it was a slow process and sometimes after working on it..I’d have to go lay down..heh. Luckily I had a good friend who helped me tons with this, as I am *no* computer-type person to begin with. My niece, who is also a photographic design artist, helped me using the programs like Photoshop and Paintshop. I could never go through so much again though...but...well, maybe...we’ll see..heh. I am now looking for better treatment with a new psychiatrist, and my family doc has taken a bold step and increased my meds beyond conventional levels until I get into another pdoc.
Thanks so much again...and I too hope you are doing well, even though I read your accounts of difficulties of being both on and off meds. I have a bit more to say on your school problems below...so I’ll write them there. Take good care,
Best,
Jay
Posted by cubic_me on April 5, 2004, at 6:18:16
In reply to A movie I made!!! :-), posted by jay on April 4, 2004, at 9:55:55
I love it! I thought to myself 'I'll just give it a quick look', but I ended up watching the whole way through - a pretty amazing thing with my concentration span!
I've got a friend who is busting his brain trying to do things with Flash at the moment. If you don't mind I'll send him the link so that he can see what he can do with it.
Posted by jay on April 5, 2004, at 23:03:49
In reply to Re: A movie I made!!! :-), posted by cubic_me on April 5, 2004, at 6:18:16
This is the end of the thread.
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