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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on January 28, 2004, at 12:44:49
They're...trying....to.....suck.....me.....back... into..... the.... vortex.... of.... the.... family.... drama.....
Help me cling to the safe shores of uninvolvement!!!
Sorry, Mom, I really must run. Talk to you later.
That's between you and brother, I think, and you probably should discuss it with him.
I can hear that you're very angry, but that's my mother (father) you're talking about and I don't feel comfortable talking about her (him) this way.
I can have my therapist recommend someone, if you feel like you need someone to talk to about this.
Posted by All Done on January 28, 2004, at 13:01:05
In reply to My brother's home from the army, posted by Dinah on January 28, 2004, at 12:44:49
> They're...trying....to.....suck.....me.....back... into..... the.... vortex.... of.... the.... family.... drama.....
>
> Help me cling to the safe shores of uninvolvement!!!
>
> Sorry, Mom, I really must run. Talk to you later.
>
> That's between you and brother, I think, and you probably should discuss it with him.
>
> I can hear that you're very angry, but that's my mother (father) you're talking about and I don't feel comfortable talking about her (him) this way.
>
> I can have my therapist recommend someone, if you feel like you need someone to talk to about this.(((Dinah)))
I know it's *so* hard, but it sounds like your handling them really well. (I know, it's sad to me that I have to "handle" my family.)
Keep up the good work and don't forget to take care of yourself first.
All Done
Posted by Penny on January 28, 2004, at 13:41:36
In reply to My brother's home from the army, posted by Dinah on January 28, 2004, at 12:44:49
Those sound like very healthy responses to whatever gets thrown at you. I know it's difficult, but fortunately isn't impossible! Stay strong - hang in there!!!
P
Posted by Jai Narayan on January 30, 2004, at 17:45:43
In reply to My brother's home from the army, posted by Dinah on January 28, 2004, at 12:44:49
Dinah, I am so sorry that you feel so overwhelmed by all you family demands.
I hope that you can feel you are safe within the family you embrace.
You are a wonderful person and I know from seeing you for the last few months that you have within you the strength to hold yourself in a place that is safe.
I hold for you a place that is filled with love and caring....I envelope you in this atmosphere.... remember we all love and care about you.
I know this is a hard time for you and your family. No one comes home from a war feeling good....it's just not possible. War is where they kill people and get kill and that's just not a good feeling.
I care about you....please know that we are there for you. The best thing to do is keep communicating....never stop....We are always there with loving and caring energy.
Posted by noa on January 31, 2004, at 16:24:56
In reply to My brother's home from the army, posted by Dinah on January 28, 2004, at 12:44:49
Dinah, I am glad your brother is home safely from the war.
And it sounds like you are staying in touch with the kinds of "self talk" you need to not get sucked into the unhealthy family process. You really can care and love without letting them overtake you!!! But it's hard. Damn hard, ain't it? Just remember, you don't have to go back to the role of owning the problems they need to own themselves. Sometimes you do need to walk away and breathe saner air.
Posted by Dinah on January 31, 2004, at 21:37:03
In reply to Re: My brother's home from the army, posted by Jai Narayan on January 30, 2004, at 17:45:43
I should confess that my brother wasn't in any danger. He was stationed in the states.
But my parents are truly nasty to him. And perhaps they have some reason to be. But it's painful to see and more painful to be involved in. My father is a great hater, and he hates my brother's girlfriend. My mother is a great drama queen, and everything is magnified to the utmost with her. And she wants me to join in with her against whomever she's angry with.
They've put me to the test a few times already, but so far I've managed to stay out of the mire. Of course, it's been less than a week...
And *I'm* the one in therapy! (shakes head disbelivingly)
Posted by justjustine on February 1, 2004, at 9:27:00
In reply to Re: My brother's home from the army -Noa » Jai Narayan, posted by Dinah on January 31, 2004, at 21:37:03
> And *I'm* the one in therapy! (shakes head disbelivingly)
excellent! thank you for reaffirming that therapy actually can help! and props to you for working so hard to stay out of that mess. it's very good, what you are doing. best of luck to you.
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