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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Festus on November 16, 2003, at 21:46:45
I hope I,m on the right board,I need some advice on a family situation from guys that know what it,s like to be on meds for ADD,Depression,and Chronic Pain.My wife of 15 yrs.and I have had our share of problems,I feel a lot of them were from her trying to live with a un-medicated,mis-diagnosed husband.Anyway,as usually is the case during separations,families tend to side with blood and mine pretty much did with me while we had been apart(3-4 times),even though we all tried to be adult about stuff(we have 2 girls,13 and 8)as much as possible.It turns out we both had mental issues that needed professional help and when we both got properly medicated,counseled,etc.,we reconciled over a year ago and have had very little fussing.We never hit or kicked each other,no adultery,just not able to "get along"till we got helped.The trouble is,my wife will not attend any of my family outings cause of hard feelings she has with my Mom and Sis,and it causes a strain on things,like when one of the girls has a birthday,I take them over to my families outings alone and the girls don,t quite understand this and I try and be the mediator and my mom or sis don,t think they did any wrong and my wife thinks I,m "siding" with them,and we get into arguements and today I ended up going to an outing alone,the girls chose to stay home with mom,and when I got there,they were all askin me "Where,s the girls,why won,t they come over?"and I go home and try to talk to the wife,and she,s goin"I knew you,d go over there and get on their side,you won,t cut Mommies apron strings!",and we got into a terrible arguement and the girls were scared and the holidays are comin,and,MAN,I,m tryin to keep straight on all this but I don,t know what,s right!I,ll Sure Welcome some comments!Festus
Posted by Destroyo on November 16, 2003, at 22:45:16
In reply to A hunk of Fresh Meat in between 2 packs of dogs, posted by Festus on November 16, 2003, at 21:46:45
I don't know much about your situation, as my demons are internal, but I just love ol' Festus Haggen, on "GUNSMOKE"! Not more than three generations ago, my family were equally ignorant and toothless. But I turned out okay, except that I'm a NUTCASE; but that's a mere technicality, after all, my heart, like that of Festus, is in the right place.
Posted by Liligoth on November 17, 2003, at 18:02:57
In reply to A hunk of Fresh Meat in between 2 packs of dogs, posted by Festus on November 16, 2003, at 21:46:45
hello Festus, as you asked for advice I will give some. I think the only way for you to maintain your sanity is tell all parties involved that you will no longer act as intermediary. They can sort out there problems without you as nothing you do seems to make any difference. Make sure everyone has eveyone elses phone & address. Wash your hands, sit down & relax!
best of luck mate, I think you will need it
Posted by Elle2021 on November 18, 2003, at 6:34:35
In reply to A hunk of Fresh Meat in between 2 packs of dogs, posted by Festus on November 16, 2003, at 21:46:45
Wow, that is a sticky situation you've got yourself. It happened to my parents. My mom and dad separated for a while when I was younger, and as with your separation, blood sided with its own. For quite a while, my mom didn't go to family outings with my dad. She now goes (begrudgingly) and pretends to not have hard feelings. She is a mature woman and is able to stick it out with my dad's family for a few hours on special occasions.
As for your wife saying you need to cut the apron strings... Examine yourself, do you? Are you letting mom get between you and your wife's relationship? You mentioned that you have kids, (you sound like a wonderful father too by the way). In my humble opinion it is MORE important for kids to have a mother and a father living in the same house. Things that eliminate that situation should be dealt with immediately. Perhaps your wife is still hurt and trying to deal with her feelings. Give her some time, (time heals all wounds...or so "they" say). But, I can say that from a woman's point of view, it is throughly irritating when a significant other sides with their mother instead of you. Good luck to you and God bless your family. Hope things turn out well!
Elle
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