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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by habbyshabit on July 1, 2003, at 4:07:45
Temmie,
I was wondering if you wanted to talk about what is going on with your Dad's Mania. Perhaps I can be of some help, suggestion wise. I'm also curious to know more about his history and meds and such.
You might try the web site windsofchange.org for information and there is also a very good message board for Significant Others (SOs) of BiPolars and Bipolars as well. I find that message board interesting, informative, and full of good intelligent people. I post as "old bear" there.
Habby
Posted by Temmie on July 1, 2003, at 21:10:50
In reply to Temmie! Down Here!!!!!, posted by habbyshabit on July 1, 2003, at 4:07:45
Dear Habby, thanks for the invite to come chat here. It's nice to make a new friend. I am worn out tonight, however, and don't feel capable of much writing. I've been working on a semester-long research project for a class I ended up taking an "incomplete" in, and you know what? It's hard to trot out everthing that's necessary to get the job done. I've got 26 pages now, and hopefully -- within hours -- will be comfortable saying, "I'm done."
I have a 17-year old who is having his tonsils and adenoids removed tomorrow, so i feel I should go clean his room, change the sheets, etc. The recovery from this surgery for "older" kids (and adults) is said to be particularly uncomfortable -- I'll be calling on Raphael and other agents of healing tomorrow to help us through.
Tell me again whom you channel. One entity? A group? Do you do this for your own use, or do you have clients? Many folks I know are unable to channel "about" or "for" themselves.
Re. my dad, I'm not sure where to begin. He's always been this way. Brilliant man (engineering professor), but strung too tight. He used to self-medicate with alcohol, and I guess you could say he's alcoholic on top of this ... and he's been abusive ... was a scary man when I was growing up.
My son and I moved in with my parents after J's arrival. I was unmarried and uneducated, and limping along on insufficient income. Finally went back to school, and now I'm a teacher (working on a Masters in ESL). J. turned out okay! He's a national merit scholar and has a generous scholarship from Pomona College in California ....
Not sure what else to say. Too tired to think straight!
Write as you're able though, and I'll do the same. Interested in hearing how channeling is working for you, and whether you've got any "night time routine" that helps your work on the otherside (or your sleep). I am not actively doing any particular rituals (chanting, meditation, prayer, etc.), although lately, I think I've been feeling a little clearer -- less troubled and anjoying a little break from despair.
That's a good thing!
Good getting to know you .... With love, Temmie.
Posted by habbyshabit on July 1, 2003, at 23:51:40
In reply to Re: Temmie! Down Here!!!!!, posted by Temmie on July 1, 2003, at 21:10:50
Temmie dear, I answered your questions about channeling on the faith board. I'm glad you are feeling a little better these days. Perhaps the despair is transmuting to delight! :)
It's hard to imagine a 17 year old son who has a big sholarship to be proud of. I have no kids. I have a dear friend with a very bright son with a scholarship to Penn State. I visited her and her family this fall and met him. It was neat to see them together, he is taller then her.
Good luck with your paper. Don't feel pressure to respond quickly.
Is your dad actually diagnosed as BiPolar?
It's late once again and I must go. I'm looking forward to the fall and less yard work and more computor time!
I'm delighted to have made your friendship as well. I feel some sort of "connection"
Habby
Posted by Temmie on July 2, 2003, at 18:18:03
In reply to Re: Temmie! Down Here!!!!!, posted by habbyshabit on July 1, 2003, at 23:51:40
Hello -- surgery went well, but I wish J would lay down and go to sleep already. I'm tired!
My dad ... has been diagnosed ... but I'm not sure by whom. Problems with depression appear to run in the family, and two of his siblings have been on antidepressents. His sister, in particular, wigged out in some kind of manic phase. My dad is doing the same. I aske him mid-May if he would write a "one-page something" for J's 18th, and he's been working on it nonstop from then until now. It's now evolved into several papers, one an essay on Benjamin Franklin, the other a 56-page essay on the "number 18," and quoting from the Bible, Alexandre Dumas, and God know what else inbetween. He's been keeping the reference librarians busy. One of them called me the other day with the definition of the Japanese colloquialism (sp?) "ah-so."
Everything he does is Brilliant, Astonishing, Amazing! He's also given copies of the above papers to people in the neighborhood -- I think, he's expecting people to fall down before him in wonder of his Amazing, Astonishing Brilliance!
Ten years ago he drove over my son. Last year he almost plowed through a pedestrian. The week before last he backed into my car -- with me pounding on the driver's side window and telling him to "stop, stop, stop!"
He's also re-engineered everything in the kitchen ("I'm an engineer, it's my job to fix things."), from the way the paper bags are folded, to where the pots are hung, how the phone book is put away, how the dish towels and dish rags are hung, what's the proper angle for the tv set ("for optimal communal viewing"), etc. etc. etc. It is difficult to sneak past him without (1) getting chewed out, (2) getting a lecture on the proper disposal of coffee grounds (or whatever), or (3) being subjected to a non-stop lecture on anything from thermodynamics to the "Rule of 72" (don't ask, it has something to do with doubling values and/or factors, I'm not sure which).
He is cruel to my mother. I've cautioned her to stay out of striking range, and -- this is horrible -- but from one of my sisters ... to myself ... to my son ... we've all wished he would drop dead already (even though we know we'll hate ourselves for uttering those words).
Apparently his MD put him on Lithium a few years back and my dad had a toxic reaction. This was following one of his many surgeries (heart, prostate, hip?) which was followed by a manic phase. Anyhow ... that's a bit of a snapshot.
I've just been paged by my son ... who wants to use the phone line to call his dad. Any ideas, tips, suggestions you have would be most appreciated, but my dad Knows Everything and will not listen to anything. Unless he's controlling the conversation ... there is no conversation.
Back soon,
Temmie
Posted by Temmie on July 3, 2003, at 16:20:50
In reply to Temmie! Down Here!!!!!, posted by habbyshabit on July 1, 2003, at 4:07:45
My 17-year old is recovering from tonsilectomy, partial adenoidectomy, and incision in the timpanic membrane. Not comfortable! Grandpa won't give permission to turn on the a/c, so J is particularly miserable upstairs in his hot-hot-hot bedroom with two fans blowing on him. I've since given him a couple of frozen juice jugs and a collar to wear around his neck. Anyhow, earlier he was asking my (manic) father, "Grandpa, have you ever heard of ear drops?" And Grandpa replied,
"Teardrops?
"No eardrops."
"Oh yes. There's all kinds of drops. Ear drops and eye drops, nose drops and toe drops. There's raindrops and lemon drops and popcycle pops, no ... those are pops, let's see ...."
I felt like I was listening to Bubba in "Forrest Gump" detailing all the different ways of preparing shrimp.
Laughing here ... when I'm not going batty.
Posted by noa on July 4, 2003, at 9:55:18
In reply to Life with a Manic Father/Grandfather, posted by Temmie on July 3, 2003, at 16:20:50
Hope his recovery is swift and smooth.
And that the surgery provides the relief it is intended to!
Posted by habbyshabit on July 10, 2003, at 0:38:48
In reply to Life with a Manic Father/Grandfather, posted by Temmie on July 3, 2003, at 16:20:50
Temmie,
Wish I had the time to get into conversation. You are quite a dear to stay and care for your manic relatives. I know many who run for the hills!!
Will be back to talk more soon.
Habby
Posted by Temmie on July 16, 2003, at 20:47:01
In reply to Re: Life with a Manic Father/Grandfather » Temmie, posted by habbyshabit on July 10, 2003, at 0:38:48
I am home now from travels with boyfriend in the east. That's another story .... My poor son was in and out of the hospital five times with complications, bleeding, etc., following tonsillectomy. He called me one night in tears, "Grandpa is driving me crazy." His dad, who assured me he would be there for our child the night I left ... never showed. I couldn't believe it! Then we had relatives come (to my home here in the midwest) .... My dad's sister and two of her children. None of them could quite believe the state of my dad's mental decay, and when they'd endured all they could stand of his trash-talking and insults toward those living, dead and, in some cases, visiting in the next room -- they left. "Uncle Paul, I am never going to see you again," Jim said. Aunt Florence said she would never be back as well. Oh dear. Life in the east was complicated enough with my n'er-do-well pot-head lover, but things seem much more suffocating here. I wonder where to go to write about these things? Is anyone up for conversation? Temmie
Posted by habbyshabit on July 18, 2003, at 22:45:49
In reply to Family Dropping Like Flies, posted by Temmie on July 16, 2003, at 20:47:01
Hi Temmie,
I am so sorry to hear what your are enduring with your Dad. In yesteryear, you could have him hospitalized, at least for 72 hours, and they might find the medication ( there are many today ) that would bring him back to sanity.
I recognize all the behavior you describe as I have done similar things while psychotic or floridly manic. Fortunate for me, Lithium does work.
Today someone has to be a threat to themselves or others to be involuntarily hospitalized. I think the car incidents would qualify. You could call the police next time car close calls come up... or anything resembling a danger to himself or anyone else. Call the cops. I was always picked up by the cops and carted off to psyche units when I was in his condition. It's the safest way to get him treatment. Whether or not he continues once he is released is unfortunately not in your control.
There is no reasoning, as I'm sure you well know, with a manic. You would never convince him to get help in his state of mind. He's king of the universe, afterall, and it is you my dear, that need the help! Call the cops. It's the kindest thing you can do. I don't know if they'll recognize his condition and do something about it, but make sure they talk to him a while. It just might work. NO AIR CONDITIONING! Now that is a danger to your son in his convalescence (sp?)
That's just my point of view. It's horrible the abuse you and your mom and son are having to endure. My husband can't even stand my hypo manic state, which is a far cry saner then where your dad is at.
I'm here to talk, as often as I can find the time. Sorry it's so sporatic right now, our acre is like a small park and requires so much of our attention. We are leaving on Aug. 3rd for a road trip and visit to a favorite cousin of my husbands who is in his 70s now.
Your boyfriend sounds like a whole other thread!
Love and best wishes,
Habby
Posted by Temmie on July 19, 2003, at 0:16:58
In reply to Re: Family Dropping Like Flies » Temmie, posted by habbyshabit on July 18, 2003, at 22:45:49
Oh Dear ... I don't know if that last post "stuck." Maybe it hasn't loaded yet. Maybe I exited before confirming it ....
Thank you for writing Habby. I am in a sad state of mess these days. My discussion about boyfriend is further down. Surely I've worn everyone out with my bellyaching by now. I am miss-miss-missing a man who spoils me rotten, ravishes me ... and tells me what a prize I am ... what a princess ... what a gift ... but he's such a mess, and I've -- absolutely -- tailor-fit myself with one who mirrors what I need most -- and those things I most fear. I took a Xanax tonight and drank a beer. Nothing. I called him (even though I said I wouldn't). Nothing. I'm tired of flipping through magazines, and flipping through channels on the tv, but don't have the wherewithall to get through a book. I am trying to find the courage to just feel the feelings -- and open to the wisdom that would surely inflood my brain, if I'd just open my heart.
Thank you for joining me here. Temmie.
Posted by DixieGirl on July 20, 2003, at 10:23:31
In reply to Re: Family Dropping Like Flies » habbyshabit, posted by Temmie on July 19, 2003, at 0:16:58
Temmie,
Your posts really touched my heart. I know there's nothing I can say to make any of your heartache go away, but I hope it helps you to know that you are not alone in this world and that others have been in your shoes.
I hope you have peace today.
DixieGirl
Posted by habbyshabit on July 20, 2003, at 15:20:41
In reply to Re: Family Dropping Like Flies » habbyshabit, posted by Temmie on July 19, 2003, at 0:16:58
Hey Temmie,
I just re-read your last post and your few sentences really stand out at this momemt. Finding the courage to just sit in tough feelings, especially those that include love lust and desire, is truly an incredible task. It does take courage and fortitude to not act on the impulses such desire incites. I know all to well. I didn't marry until forty. Dating is a strangely exotic and tantalizing emotional experience. Being ravished. I know that. I miss it. My husband was never a ravisher!! lol
But the one guy who I dated who did it best, was also the most neurotic. I wonder if there is a conection? Do healthy men ravish women? Bodice ripping and all that? Hmmmm....
Hope your weekend has been good and peaceful and your son is doing a well as is expected post surgery.
Warm Regards,
Habby
Posted by Temmie on July 20, 2003, at 17:16:43
In reply to Re: Family Dropping Like Flies » Temmie, posted by habbyshabit on July 20, 2003, at 15:20:41
I don't know where you are .... I don't know what "last few sentences" you're responding to. Which post where.
The man I've given my heart to has been sleeping with another. Both during our 10-week absence, and within hours of my leaving .... "I'm weak, I was lonely," he said. "I know, I'm a f&ck-up ... please don't leave me."
He left a message on my cell-phone just now (why it didn't ring, I don't know), "I'm sorry ... I love you ..."
I have been sick-at-heart and in bed most of the day. I also started investigating an online dating match/making service called: eharmony.com -- but when the one man I was writing back and forth to (I'm assuming), saw me write, "I'm overweight ... but bla bla bla," I haven't heard back. Is size 14 overweight? Eeegads, I'm not the slim whip I once was (who is?), but I'm attractive (generally modest) :-) and have so much to give and, like Paul, I'm lonely.
I just want to beeeee with someone.
It's so hard to reach up and hope only for emptiness to take the pain away. Temmie
Posted by habbyshabit on July 21, 2003, at 4:36:47
In reply to Re: Family Dropping Like Flies » habbyshabit, posted by Temmie on July 19, 2003, at 0:16:58
Actually it's just the last sentence in the post of 6/19 just before Dixie girl responded.
What a crappy thing to find out about this otherwise nice guy ( sarcasm dripping )
I wish I were a size 14 at 48. My hunny loves me still at an 18. Guys stuck on body size at our age are also stuck in adolescence. Obese is one thing. Womanly round is another....
You're gonna make it, don't ya worry. and emtiness isn't always a bad thing, just ask a buddhist! :)
warm hugs,
Habby
This is the end of the thread.
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