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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 5 to 29 of 29. Go back in thread:
Posted by syringachalet on March 4, 2003, at 23:18:19
In reply to Re: When you're 40 you're not as good looking?, posted by Rach on March 4, 2003, at 22:01:10
Rach,
Im sorry that you took utopizens post so personally. Im sure it was not intended as such.
As for someone who has seen 40 a long time ago, I can tell you that i have seen people who live and act like teenagers and I see people who seem to age years in months.
for me, I consider that I have now reached what I humorously call, "an age of perspective". Where I can see the things I have done in my life so far and know that I am still young enough to make them better if I feel they are a priority. I can honestly says I now live with few regrets.My hubby says "he no longer pole vaults over mouse turds"..making a big deal out of minor problems or irrations.
Rach, you have an interested prespective and I honor that. All I ask is that you also honor those of the others here.
..lifes a dance you learn as you go....
Take Care.
syringachalet
Posted by kara lynne on March 4, 2003, at 23:26:05
In reply to Re: When you're 40 you're not as good looking?, posted by Rach on March 4, 2003, at 22:01:10
Hi Rach,
I hope you're doing well. I can understand your reaction, and I appreciate you saying what you did especially considering that you're 21. Thank you, it gives me hope! I had a reaction too, but I believe utopizen just really doesn't know what he's talking about-- he's too young(!) Also it's unfortunate what happens to people with model looks sometimes; they end up with a skewed view of how to relate and be related to, and often don't develop deeper levels of themselves. If I remember reading correctly he said he hasn't kissed a girl yet... (I may be wrong on that one.)Nonetheless, it is pretty weird to look into the mind of a 20 year old male and see that by all accounts I am near dead in his world. Age is so deceptive; my dad is 75 and looks better than a lot of 50 year old men-- who can act like little boys. Meanwhile I can remember someone posting that you are wise beyond your years! It is sooooooo what is inside a person that makes the package. Hopefully more 20 year old models will come to realize this.
Posted by viridis on March 5, 2003, at 0:54:21
In reply to When you're 40 you're not as good looking? « kara, posted by Dr. Bob on March 4, 2003, at 8:41:54
This is just a repeat post from PB, but I thought I'd put it here for a positive view on this topic (from someone who will turn 40 this year and luckily isn't fat or ugly yet -- of course, this is a biased opinion!)
I think you can change your life at almost any age. My father took early retirement at 55, stayed "retired" for about a month, then started a very successful consulting business. My mother recently retired and is now developing all sorts of hobbies and interests that she didn't have time for before. They're in their mid-sixties and now spend a fair bit of the year traveling (my father is still very active in consulting too). I think they're both happier than they've ever been before.And my pdoc made some interesting changes: he was an English professor at a major university, then went to med school, practiced as a GP for years, and then trained as a psychiatrist when he was in his fifties. He says he's happiest now, loves what he's doing, and is great at it. He suffered from major depression along the way, so is actually experienced personally with some of the meds he prescribes.
Anyway, this is moving into the social arena, but it is encouraging to see that getting older can be a positive experience that opens up all sorts of new opportunities.
Posted by Tabitha on March 5, 2003, at 1:51:05
In reply to Re: When you're 40 you're not as good looking?, posted by syringachalet on March 4, 2003, at 23:18:19
I like that pole vaulting over mouse turds thing. Can I use it?
Here's my 2c... attractiveness and age issues can change. When I was 26 I was hot for a 45 yr old guy, now that I'm 39.9 the guys in their 40s look old to me and I want the young-uns. It's just my own fears-- at 26 I felt immortal, so my guy's gray hair and wrinkles were exotic and sexy. Now signs of age remind me of my own aging so are yuck. I want to forget! Once I accept my own aging I expect to be happily hot for middle-aged and old dudes again.
And in the mean time there are a surprising number of young guys who if I'm not mistaken are giving off mutual attraction vibes to me. There's no need to generalize attractiveness -- forget the social stereotype (painful as it is for us middle-aged women) and look at the blessed diversity of reality.
And P.S. it's sad but true... I'm NOT as cute as I was in my 20s. Then again I'm more self-accepting so I wouldn't go back. It does no good to be beautiful if you still don't accept your imperfections. Self-acceptance is sexy, really it is, and us older folks tend to have more of it than the young.
Posted by kara lynne on March 5, 2003, at 2:27:28
In reply to Re: When you're 40 you're not as good looking?, posted by Tabitha on March 5, 2003, at 1:51:05
Maybe you're not as 'cute' but haven't you seen some people who truly become more beautiful with age-- and I mean physically as well?
Posted by gabbix2 on March 5, 2003, at 15:52:30
In reply to Re: When you're 40 you're not as good looking?, posted by kara lynne on March 5, 2003, at 2:27:28
I've seen lots of people who've grown more beautiful with age. Not in that "she's beautiful for 50" way either. Just plain beautiful.
To show just how funny the age perspective is though. I read in a magazine at my Dr's office, that a group of high school students were asked in a survey what age they thought people stopped being interested in sex, and the average answer was "35"I remember being 19 and thinking 24 was OLD.
Well not really old, but in college I was shocked that someone was in my class who was 24.
That just seems so funny now.
Posted by dreamerz on March 5, 2003, at 18:21:30
In reply to When you're 40 you're not as good looking? « kara, posted by Dr. Bob on March 4, 2003, at 8:41:54
Posted by lostsailor on March 6, 2003, at 11:03:46
In reply to Re: Well that's somethin to look forward to:( (nm), posted by dreamerz on March 5, 2003, at 18:21:30
I'll be honest. I am 33 and scared of turning even 34. I hate aging and I know that I am being sort of pessimistic but all my life I have tended to look back at "before" and often get stuck there.Funny, I think I was much more mature as a scattered student than now. Seems I used to be able to juggle better. Papers were in on time no matter how late I was out or where I was. I spoke in class with confidence and ease. Oral presentations were simple and a bit funny. Now though, it seems that so much of that has changed. It's almost surreal to feel that you are becoming less mature with age.
~tony
Posted by Dinah on March 6, 2003, at 11:46:22
In reply to Re: Well that's somethin to look forward to:(, posted by lostsailor on March 6, 2003, at 11:03:46
>It's almost surreal to feel that you are becoming less mature with age.
>
> ~tony
>I absolutely know what you mean. I used to be able to "act" more mature because I knew I was being taken care of. As more real responsibility piled on, I seem to have retreated into enormous immaturity. :((
Posted by gabbix2 on March 6, 2003, at 12:13:28
In reply to Re: Well that's somethin to look forward to:(, posted by Dinah on March 6, 2003, at 11:46:22
You can add me to that de- maturing list..
Posted by viridis on March 7, 2003, at 0:20:12
In reply to Re: Well that's somethin to look forward to:( » Dinah, posted by gabbix2 on March 6, 2003, at 12:13:28
I'm not sure there's all that much connection between physical and mental age, except maybe overall experience. Some people who are 20 are "old' (mentally); some who are 70 are "young".
I expect I'll be happiest in retirement, when I can just focus on things that I enjoy without the pressure to perform.
Posted by Jonathan on March 8, 2003, at 6:50:49
In reply to Re: When you're 40 you're not as good looking? » kara lynne, posted by gabbix2 on March 5, 2003, at 15:52:30
... is winning a Fields Medal, the equivalent of a Nobel Prize for mathematics.
Arguably the greatest achievement in 20th century mathematics was Andrew Wiles's elegant proof of Fermat's Last Theorem, which this message is, regrettably, too small to contain :) Instead, please see:
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/proof/wiles.html (accessible interview with Wiles)
http://www.ams.org/notices/199507/faltings.pdf (short, for mathematicians)
The May 1995 issue (vol. 141, no. 5, pp. 443-572) of Annals of Mathematics (full proof, for modular elliptic curve buffs)Wiles didn't get a Fields Medal because, despite having worked obsessively on the problem since the age of ten, he was over forty when he reached the solution: benefactor John Fields had stipulated that only mathematicians under forty were eligible.
Some ambitious mathematicians, when they accept that they have no hope of a Fields Medal, embark on a new career in a different field such as psychiatry, in which they have a chance to win a Nobel (for Physiology and Medicine) with no age limit; perhaps we all know such a person :)
About a year ago, Bekka H. posted this explanation why there is no Nobel Prize for mathematics — http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020131/msgs/93154.html :
> The reason there is no Nobel Prize in Mathematics is that Alfred Nobel's wife had an affair with a mathematician, and Nobel never got over his hatred of mathematicians. He decided all mathematicians were bad and none deserved a Nobel Prize. I've heard this story from a number of different sources, and I assume it's true.
I wonder whether the wife of John Fields had an affair with a forty-year-old :)
Jonathan (forty-something mathematician).
> I've seen lots of people who've grown more beautiful with age. Not in that "she's beautiful for 50" way either. Just plain beautiful.
> To show just how funny the age perspective is though. I read in a magazine at my Dr's office, that a group of high school students were asked in a survey what age they thought people stopped being interested in sex, and the average answer was "35"
Posted by noa on March 8, 2003, at 11:30:42
In reply to The only thing under-40s can do but over-40s can't, posted by Jonathan on March 8, 2003, at 6:50:49
I remember a time, just after I had turned 18, back in the olden days, of course, and I was watching the women's gymnastics world championships. It was very soon after Nadia Comanece scored those "10"s at the olympics at age 14. I suddenly realized that I was too old for a sport called "women's". What a wierd feeling. Not that I ever had any inclination or talent for gymnastics, but just knowing I was already too old for it, and that it was called a *women's* sport, not a "girls'" sport, kinda freaked me out. Back then, it was rare for anyone to succeed past in it past 18 or 19. Since then, of course, they've made a minimum age requirement,and there are some "older" competitors of 19 and 20 years.
Age is a funny thing--so many people have such strong reactions to it.
Posted by lili80 on March 8, 2003, at 23:59:34
In reply to Mental age vs. physical age, posted by viridis on March 7, 2003, at 0:20:12
Posted by noa on March 9, 2003, at 10:35:40
In reply to i am 22 and feel 90 yrs old (nm) (nm), posted by lili80 on March 8, 2003, at 23:59:34
I don't know how old I feel. Unfortunately, I seem to have skipped the good years!
Posted by Gabbix2 on March 9, 2003, at 14:19:52
In reply to The only thing under-40s can do but over-40s can't, posted by Jonathan on March 8, 2003, at 6:50:49
Posted by shar on March 15, 2003, at 22:05:11
In reply to Re: i am 22 and feel 90 yrs old, posted by noa on March 9, 2003, at 10:35:40
> I don't know how old I feel. Unfortunately, I seem to have skipped the good years!
You said it, Noa! Ditto.
Shar
Posted by syringachalet on March 16, 2003, at 5:04:41
In reply to Re: i am 22 and feel 90 yrs old » noa, posted by shar on March 15, 2003, at 22:05:11
I cant remeber what 22 was all about. It was so long ago...two college degrees, two kids, one house with a huge mortgage...
Everytime I start to feel really old, I watch out my front window and see this little old lady who walks by my house everday..rain or shine.. with her pig. Now this is quite a site considering this little old lady is like 90 pounds with her shoes on and was probably a waitress at The Last Supper and this pig is like 350 pounds if she is an ounce. Be the way the pigs name is Precious...how approriate!!!LOL
syringachalet
Posted by noa on March 17, 2003, at 16:28:53
In reply to Re: i am 22 and feel 90 yrs old, posted by syringachalet on March 16, 2003, at 5:04:41
OK, syringe, your pig post wins my "daily unexpected chuckle post" prize!
Growing up, I had a neighbor(sans pig, though) who was around 80 when we moved in, who got dressed in her little blue suit and matching little blue pillbox hat, and pumps with 2 inch heals, tasteful purse in hand, and walked about 1 mile in each direction to go shopping, run errands, get her hair done, etc. It was a steep uphill walk on the way to the commercial area, too. She also mowed front and back lawns with a hand mower, weeded the garden, shoveled her own walks, etc.etc. Didn't slow down much, except her hearing went over the years, until she died in her late 90's not from age, but because a stupid truck driver ran her over when he was backing blindly up the street because he had forgotten something when making deliveries. My younger brother, only sib still living there at the time, was rather traumatized by it and still talks about it sometimes, 20 years later.
Posted by Dinah on March 21, 2003, at 7:01:39
In reply to Re: i am 22 and feel 90 yrs old » syringachalet, posted by noa on March 17, 2003, at 16:28:53
Sorry, this subject line is on the top thread, and I pass it each time I come here and have the same thought.
Hoped that if I wrote it down i could forget it. :)
Posted by Dinah on March 22, 2003, at 10:47:16
In reply to Re: i am 40 something and feel 3 years old, posted by Dinah on March 21, 2003, at 7:01:39
If only I had kept resisting the urge for a bit more, the board would have archived.
Posted by Willow on March 22, 2003, at 14:58:10
In reply to Re: Great, now this is the first thing I see., posted by Dinah on March 22, 2003, at 10:47:16
Posted by Tabitha on March 22, 2003, at 15:36:04
In reply to Re: Great, now this is the first thing I see., posted by Dinah on March 22, 2003, at 10:47:16
Obviously you are Dr Bob's favorite, as he selected your post to be at the TOP of the page.
It's like employee of the week award.
Posted by bozeman on March 24, 2003, at 23:33:13
In reply to Re: Feel special instead Dinah, posted by Tabitha on March 22, 2003, at 15:36:04
Posted by Dinah on March 25, 2003, at 5:52:04
In reply to Feel special instead Dinah . . . you ARE special (nm), posted by bozeman on March 24, 2003, at 23:33:13
This is the end of the thread.
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