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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 22 of 22. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by sienna on March 22, 2003, at 1:13:24
Ok, i have a couple questions about delusions. I dont really know what they are. Well, I knwo what they are supposed to be, but im having a hard time believeing im delusional.
I was at the doctors today and was looking at this plant sitting on the floor across the room. The doctor was looking at his computer monitor and the social worker was sitting down. I stared at the plant and it fell over. I think i made it fall over. So I apologized for knocking over the plant. They said I didnt do it. He said it must be suductive to think that i did. But its not seductive to think that for me i dont htink. Its just that that happens to me all the time and i think i am doing it. He said that my medicine will make it happen less often and i dont understnad how that will work if its not in my head. But i take the medicine and its still happeining.
He asked me if part of me knew that i couldnt relaly do that. I said YES but i cant explain it another way. I mean If Isaac Newton is right about the laws of motion then I knocked over the plant. becuase no other force was acting on it at the time.
Also this is separate but I think people can read my mind. WHy? Because they do it all the time. My old therapist knewt hat my cat was calico without me telling him. A stranger that i see in class guessed that i was on zoloft. How do these people do that without reading my mind?
I know I see things no one sees and hear and feel things no one does. fine those are hallucinations i guess. But its relaly hard to believe that these things are delusions.
Does anybuddy else have this problem?
Sienna
Posted by justyourlaugh on March 22, 2003, at 8:03:33
In reply to delusion question , posted by sienna on March 22, 2003, at 1:13:24
wow you have "magical powers too?"
i dont tell people them..i think that is a sign of skitzo...?
i tell the future and read other peoples minds sienna....
i try to move things..dished to the sink..its not happeneing..
one time when i was in the er a pdoc student asked me if the "aliens were coming to take me away?"
i said"why, what have you heard?"he knew i was joking though....
delusions are not real..seroiusly though "my"delusion are from the line between reality and dissasociating...i cant remember if i made it up...or it really happened...
other times i think it is from pure paranoia...
perhaps i feel so shameful and beneath people..i have to make me better than them by having "magical powers?"nahhhhhh
i "am " queen of the world...all the others are silly twits..heehee..
wow..i had too much sleep........
peace
jyl
Posted by daizy on March 22, 2003, at 9:01:03
In reply to delusion question , posted by sienna on March 22, 2003, at 1:13:24
> Ok, i have a couple questions about delusions. I dont really know what they are. Well, I knwo what they are supposed to be, but im having a hard time believeing im delusional.
>
> I was at the doctors today and was looking at this plant sitting on the floor across the room. The doctor was looking at his computer monitor and the social worker was sitting down. I stared at the plant and it fell over. I think i made it fall over. So I apologized for knocking over the plant. They said I didnt do it. He said it must be suductive to think that i did. But its not seductive to think that for me i dont htink. Its just that that happens to me all the time and i think i am doing it. He said that my medicine will make it happen less often and i dont understnad how that will work if its not in my head. But i take the medicine and its still happeining.
>
> He asked me if part of me knew that i couldnt relaly do that. I said YES but i cant explain it another way. I mean If Isaac Newton is right about the laws of motion then I knocked over the plant. becuase no other force was acting on it at the time.
>
> Also this is separate but I think people can read my mind. WHy? Because they do it all the time. My old therapist knewt hat my cat was calico without me telling him. A stranger that i see in class guessed that i was on zoloft. How do these people do that without reading my mind?
>
> I know I see things no one sees and hear and feel things no one does. fine those are hallucinations i guess. But its relaly hard to believe that these things are delusions.
>
> Does anybuddy else have this problem?
>
> Sienna
>
>
This may be different but, I always think Im right, that im kinda superior to everyone, eventhough I know Im not, and Im very insecure....... at the same time I think of myself being a freak, I think I know it all too...... very weird!!!! I am very good at reading body language and looks, I think thats because my whole life ive been on edge knowing that my mums and dads moods could just change in an instant for no reason, so its a skill thats helped me survive. Because I can do this I think that people can do the same to me, whereas a lot of people are very bad at it.. Like my friend who has the perfect family, she trusts anyone and often gets taken advantage of....... My paranoia thinks that people can read my mind, but I know somewhere inside that no one is really that interested in my thoughts anyway!!!!
Posted by daizy on March 22, 2003, at 9:04:07
In reply to Re: delusion question » sienna, posted by justyourlaugh on March 22, 2003, at 8:03:33
"> i "am " queen of the world...all the others are silly twits..heehee.."LOL JYL, just what I think too!
Posted by Dinah on March 22, 2003, at 9:39:35
In reply to Re: delusion question , posted by daizy on March 22, 2003, at 9:01:03
I have that skill too, daizy, for the same reason. When you grow up with volatile parents you learn to read cues. Sometimes other people are so surprised, and it feels to them like I'm reading their mind. And I keep in mind that it's just a skill, a skill I wish I had no reason to learn. And because I have that skill, and because I'm really oversensitive to emotions of others, it is sometimes very painful to be around people - especially angry people or people in pain. I seem to absorb those things, and it hurts.
I'm pretty sure I'm not delusional on the subject because my therapist readily acknowledges that I have the ability. He says it's one reason he tries to be extra careful to always tell me the exact truth. But he also says that I very frequently correctly pick up the feelings, but assign the completely wrong reasons for them. So I might think someone is mad at me, when really they're just mad.
I also have some elements of magical thinking, but I only partly believe them. I'm always aware that it's magical thinking, and make an effort to figure out the logical reasons for what happened.
Posted by Dinah on March 22, 2003, at 9:45:41
In reply to delusion question , posted by sienna on March 22, 2003, at 1:13:24
It's a tough question, Sienna. Because if there is one thing that separates a delusional thought from a nondelusional thought, it's the inability to detect it as a delusion. If that makes any sense.
And we selectively remember things that would seem to confirm our thinking. So you might remember the time you looked at the plant and it fell over without remembering the many times you looked at the plant and it didn't fall over.
You might really want to look into cognitive behavior therapy. Cognitive behavior therapy for delusions concentrates on learning ways to determine what thoughts are realistic and what thoughts aren't. There was someone here not too long ago that was using cognitive behavior therapy specifically designed for schizophrenia as an adjunct to medications, with some success. Maybe you could ask your social worker about the possibility of entering that kind of very specialized therapy.
Posted by daizy on March 22, 2003, at 9:59:49
In reply to Re: delusion question » daizy, posted by Dinah on March 22, 2003, at 9:39:35
> I have that skill too, daizy, for the same reason. When you grow up with volatile parents you learn to read cues. Sometimes other people are so surprised, and it feels to them like I'm reading their mind. And I keep in mind that it's just a skill, a skill I wish I had no reason to learn. And because I have that skill, and because I'm really oversensitive to emotions of others, it is sometimes very painful to be around people - especially angry people or people in pain. I seem to absorb those things, and it hurts.
>
> I'm pretty sure I'm not delusional on the subject because my therapist readily acknowledges that I have the ability. He says it's one reason he tries to be extra careful to always tell me the exact truth. But he also says that I very frequently correctly pick up the feelings, but assign the completely wrong reasons for them. So I might think someone is mad at me, when really they're just mad.
>
> I also have some elements of magical thinking, but I only partly believe them. I'm always aware that it's magical thinking, and make an effort to figure out the logical reasons for what happened.You have it too- cool!!! Yes like you its not something that I would have wished to have its just something that I needed to have...... I hope I didnt sound arrogant in my last post about me being superior, I know Im not, it was just a way of describing what I meant about being able to read people!!!
Posted by justyourlaugh on March 22, 2003, at 10:10:10
In reply to Re: delusion question, posted by daizy on March 22, 2003, at 9:59:49
i agree dinah-
i dont think delusional people know that they are.
how many times have you heard"why didnt you tell me something was wrong?"..wrong...i knew what i knew at the time as"truth,reality"...
is reality wrong?
?
jyl
Posted by Dinah on March 22, 2003, at 10:19:31
In reply to Re: delusion question-, posted by justyourlaugh on March 22, 2003, at 10:10:10
Absolutely true, jyl. And that's why it's so important to have an ongoing relationship with someone like a therapist, who can monitor these things. Because it is downright unreasonable to ask someone to be able to tell when they are delusional. :(
Posted by noa on March 22, 2003, at 11:00:09
In reply to Re: delusion question » sienna, posted by justyourlaugh on March 22, 2003, at 8:03:33
JYL mentioned dissociating. I was wondering about dissociating when I read your post, Sienna. What made me wonder was that you said you saw no other force cause the plant to be knocked over, and that you had not told your therapist about the calico cat. I am wondering if it is possible that you blank out momentarily sometimes and so have no memory of what caused the plant to fall, or of possibly having told the therapist about the calico cat.
I really don't know. It is probably far fetched, but just a thought.
But what you describe does sound like "magical thinking"--like your having looked at the plant caused it to fall.
Did you aks the doc and SW what did make the plant fall?
Posted by noa on March 22, 2003, at 11:10:19
In reply to Re: delusion question » daizy, posted by Dinah on March 22, 2003, at 9:39:35
Sensitivity to cues--I have that too, although sometimes it is "ON" and sometimes it is kind of turned "OFF". Sometimes I am so hypersensitive and others I am incredibly oblivious. I think when I'm oblivious it is becasue I am defending with my blindspots. But the "ON" times make me vulnerable to taking things personally.
My therapist has also worked well with this. At times when I've asked something, or had feelings in response to something he said or didn't say, sometimes incredible subtle things, he picks up on it and is able to own what signals he was sending. He acknowledges my picking up on things as a strength (perceptive) but we also talk about how it makes me vulnerable too.
The most crazy making thing is when you pick up on something and people deny it and make you think you are being too sensitive. Of course, that was my mother. I like that my therapist doesn't repeat that. I think some therapists might inadvertantly repeat that pattern because it is hard to own their own cues or to disclose their own process.
But sometimes my "perceptiveness" gets me in trouble! Besides thinking the worst and taking things personally, when I was younger, I would think these rather suspicious scenarios out of simple coincidences that I noticed, but I put too much meaning in them and drew the wrong conclusions!
Posted by justyourlaugh on March 22, 2003, at 11:10:57
In reply to Re: delusion question, posted by noa on March 22, 2003, at 11:00:09
are not most cats calico?
humm...
i predict we may get some weather today...
sorry..mabe i should go back to the bar and hassle the bouncers...
jyl
Posted by Dr Eamerz on March 22, 2003, at 12:16:14
In reply to Re: delusion question, posted by justyourlaugh on March 22, 2003, at 11:10:57
aahhhhhh.....I loved my delusions..Am I still~??
but without an AD paranoid ones.
Posted by sienna on March 23, 2003, at 0:27:11
In reply to delusion question , posted by sienna on March 22, 2003, at 1:13:24
I now try to write some good stuf fback but will take me a minute here.
sienna
Posted by sienna on March 23, 2003, at 0:31:04
In reply to Re: delusion question » sienna, posted by justyourlaugh on March 22, 2003, at 8:03:33
hi
i have magic powers too yup.
I think i should nt say but i do anyways and yes they write me down schizto.
i cant make things move on purpose its something my mind does accidentally ... somehow...
i guess its not real but then what is real becuase real has become a very elusive thing to me...
sometimes yesi think its from paranoia too from people reading my mind and i know they can do it even if they say they cant, but i believe some of them cant but yes its confusing.
i feel shameful too jyl... i thought i was over it but it keeps seeping into me.
i had 17 hours of sleep today from increasing my meds. well, its funny sometimes i feel that queen thing too.
i wish i knew what the real really real was.
sienna
Posted by sienna on March 23, 2003, at 0:36:34
In reply to Re: delusion question , posted by daizy on March 22, 2003, at 9:01:03
hi daizy
i think that way sometiems too but not a alot. Just sometimes. Wierd how we can think so highly and poorly of ourselves at the same time. I dont know. I know that im smart and that my iq is high but i feel like i dont use it well. Then sometimes i think im just like really really smart like einstien but i knowthat isnt true because i know my iq and its nothing like his.
I think someitmes we just feel bad and everything gets mix up/
you said:
"my whole life ive been on edge knowing that my mums and dads moods could just change in an instant for no reason, so its a skill thats helped me survive."My dad is that way, no way to tell what will set them off im very careful and always reading body language too. I know it gets mme into trouble but im just used to being hyperawrare.
" My paranoia thinks that people can read my mind, but I know somewhere inside that no one is really that interested in my thoughts anyway!!!!"
I think its true too. Is this psychoticf? Cuz i am havine a hard time finding where i fit in theis continuum. Am i really schizoaffective. my frined doesnt think so. Imnot sure.
sienna
Posted by sienna on March 23, 2003, at 0:38:49
In reply to Re: delusion question » daizy, posted by Dinah on March 22, 2003, at 9:39:35
Hi
I make a effort to find the real real but sometimes it doesnt make sense. How did the plant fall overe? noone touched it. Everyone was sitting still. There was no force acting on it. It wasnt sitting precariously or antying. I stared at it and knowcked it over. Something is wrong with me.
I only partly belive it too, but the amount i believe it is pretty fixed. Like I know that its probably not true, but I stilll firmly believe it anyways...
Its confusing.
sienna
Posted by wendy b. on March 23, 2003, at 0:40:13
In reply to Re: delusion question » daizy, posted by Dinah on March 22, 2003, at 9:39:35
This is the most lucid description of this phenomenon I have read. I have the gift, too, of being able to "read" people well. The reasons behind why this is so were also the volatile parental environment I was raised in. So, thank you, Dinah.
My brother and I coined this type of person the "high-monitor personality," always scanning and searching and taking radar readings of every single emotion for every person, in every situation... It's exhausting. I hope it becomes less necessary for you to do over time? Therapy seems to have helped you understand it and name it, that's half the battle. For me, the other half is getting the parents to understand ANY of this dynamic...
Hope you are having a relaxing weekend (after Thursday's meeting),
Wendy
> I have that skill too, daizy, for the same reason. When you grow up with volatile parents you learn to read cues. Sometimes other people are so surprised, and it feels to them like I'm reading their mind. And I keep in mind that it's just a skill, a skill I wish I had no reason to learn. And because I have that skill, and because I'm really oversensitive to emotions of others, it is sometimes very painful to be around people - especially angry people or people in pain. I seem to absorb those things, and it hurts.
>
> I'm pretty sure I'm not delusional on the subject because my therapist readily acknowledges that I have the ability. He says it's one reason he tries to be extra careful to always tell me the exact truth. But he also says that I very frequently correctly pick up the feelings, but assign the completely wrong reasons for them. So I might think someone is mad at me, when really they're just mad.
>
> I also have some elements of magical thinking, but I only partly believe them. I'm always aware that it's magical thinking, and make an effort to figure out the logical reasons for what happened.
Posted by sienna on March 23, 2003, at 0:43:45
In reply to Re: delusion question » sienna, posted by Dinah on March 22, 2003, at 9:45:41
Hi dinah
you said "Because if there is one thing that separates a delusional thought from a nondelusional thought, it's the inability to detect it as a delusion. If that makes any sense."
Does that mean that if i think it might not be real that its not a delusion? I dont know if i think its real or not. I know noone else thingks its real and that makes me judge it as probably not real but i still feel its real. I just know that my thinking is probably wrong even hought i belive it anyway.
I will ask about that kind of thereapy. I mean i know that i looked at the plant a bunch a times and it didnt fall over, but that one time i looked at it and it did. I dont know. I think I am really pissiung off my doctors. Im scared im going to have to go somewhere else beucase they are getting upset with me.
Sienna
Posted by sienna on March 23, 2003, at 0:48:02
In reply to Re: delusion question, posted by noa on March 22, 2003, at 11:00:09
Hi, Maybe it is dissociating. but i still dkont know why did it fall.
I didnt ask because they seemed like they thought i was just crazy so i jsut started skethcing in my notebook that i carry around.I will ask them monday when i see them. I am pretty sure im not dissciating... I know i did that before long time ago but am always aware at the same time.
Like i dont have the lost time phenomenam... I have dissociated before but its more for me like watching myself do somethign and i have awareness of al the minutes of it.
I will ask them why the plant fell over and see what they say. Because im v ery scientific and i found no other way.
sienna
Posted by sienna on March 23, 2003, at 0:51:02
In reply to Re: delusion question, posted by justyourlaugh on March 22, 2003, at 11:10:57
I thnk most cats are not calico. I have had lots of cats and seen lots but mostly not calico. I never had one befor enow. My therapist saidthat he knwe because calicos are crazy and my cat acts crazy but most cats do i think when they are kittens. I dont know i think he read my mind.
hehe i predict that there is weather tomrorrow too. =)
sienna
Posted by sienna on March 23, 2003, at 0:52:51
In reply to Re: delusion question, posted by Dr Eamerz on March 22, 2003, at 12:16:14
you have paranoid ones when you dont take AD? i dont know do i love my delusions...hmm, i dont have control and i dont like that. I wish i knwe what was really real, but i cant figure it out, and i dont know who i trust enough to tell me what is the truth. Because also maybe they dont really know?
hmmm
sienna
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