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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by paxvox2000 on May 10, 2002, at 9:47:37
I guess this subject has been broached before on this forum, but is there anyone out there suffering from PTSD from sexual abuse as a child?
Did any of you feel that YOU were the problem, and think that treatment would never cure you?
This isn't for me (well, it IS for a family member, so I guess it IS for me too).Who can/will recount a brief history of treatment for PTSD from sexual abuse? This happened A LONG TIME AGO, like over 30-35 years ago, but it has not been resolved by the person. I really would like to hear from ANYONE that can share some light on their experiences in treatment. What did you do? What was the treatment? How long did it take to see some results? Did you get it "fixed"?
Thanks,
PAX
Posted by Zo on May 11, 2002, at 3:30:43
In reply to Part Two, posted by paxvox2000 on May 10, 2002, at 9:47:37
*Everybody* who was abused as a child--or an adult, tho it helps to have been pre-abused, in childhood--thinks it's Them. That's the whole point, boundaries are broken and so is one's sense of self, so that the whole question of who's who gets terribly blurred. Most abusive people are attacking the Self-ness of the other--and so it is oneself that feels like the flaw.It's the wicked, desperately terrible way in which the mind adapts to traumatic circumstance--how else to survive when one is relatively powerless? There is no question of finding fault with one's abuser--that way lies even more stress and danger. So the child self internalizes the abuser, whole--and perhaps even thinks that's love. And then childhood is gone, but without serious chemical intervention, the brain just keeps to those same old grooves in the neocortex. This is just the way of humans--of course, without intervention, it lasts for life.
I'm so glad your wife has you.
Zo
Posted by paxvox2000 on May 11, 2002, at 9:14:33
In reply to Re: Part Two » paxvox2000, posted by Zo on May 11, 2002, at 3:30:43
Thanks for the post, Zo. I wish I could get some feedback from others about this. There HAS to be people on this board that can provide some "experiences" in treatment, etc....
Anyway, thanks for "listening".
PAX
Posted by Angel Girl on May 11, 2002, at 11:04:42
In reply to Re: Part Two » paxvox2000, posted by Zo on May 11, 2002, at 3:30:43
Zo
You have a definite way with words. Thank you for your insight.
Angel Girl
Posted by JaneB on May 12, 2002, at 22:39:11
In reply to Part Two, posted by paxvox2000 on May 10, 2002, at 9:47:37
> I guess this subject has been broached before on this forum, but is there anyone out there suffering from PTSD from sexual abuse as a child?
I was sexually abused as a child and all these news reports do bring back memories. I only experienced what seemed to me as a PTSD type reaction a few years ago after talking to my pdoc about his diagnosis of possible BPII and i did research on bipolar and felt like he said something which meant I probably had a mood disorder as a child and therefore was sexually abused.
>
> Did any of you feel that YOU were the problem, and think that treatment would never cure you?I felt like the pdoc was saying my illness was the problem and I got really angry at him and then I started having severe nightmares and relived lots of stuff and was treated with higher doses of Klonopin.
> This isn't for me (well, it IS for a family member, so I guess it IS for me too).
>
> Who can/will recount a brief history of treatment for PTSD from sexual abuse? This happened A LONG TIME AGO, like over 30-35 years ago, but it has not been resolved by the person. I really would like to hear from ANYONE that can share some light on their experiences in treatment. What did you do? What was the treatment? How long did it take to see some results? Did you get it "fixed"?This was also A LONG TIME AGO for me, 40+ years ago. Having a non selfish husband is a key. Medication was a key. Therapy that validated the injury was very helpful. I don't want to go on because others will probably be more helpful but I will pray that you both find good answers. If you want more details let me know.
JaneB
Posted by SusanG on May 12, 2002, at 23:53:27
In reply to Part Two, posted by paxvox2000 on May 10, 2002, at 9:47:37
You might want to check out the organization Parents United. They provide information, therapy, and support for victims of childhood sexual abuse including adults who were victims as children. There may be a better website (I wish I were more skilled with the internet) but you might start with this one: http://members.tripod.com/~Parents_United/. I know they have helped many women who struggle with this issue. I hope this helps.
Posted by terra miller on May 13, 2002, at 5:50:09
In reply to Part Two, posted by paxvox2000 on May 10, 2002, at 9:47:37
http://www.abuseincest@about.com
start here and start reading. the reading library is very very good. the support is mediocre right now; it was excellent 3 years ago. people come and go and such.
christine courtouis has an excellent book on treatment of incest. (title escapes me right now, but i do own it.) it doesn't have to be incest that is the issue for this book to be helpful as it is mainly a textbook on treatment of people dealing with sexual abuse, PTSD, etc. since it is more textlike, it doesn't come off emotionally like many other books of this nature (which i find offensive or difficult to fully engage with since these leave me feeling like the author is out to change the world more than inform.) personal preference.
there's educating that you should do for yourself on how to help and not hinder the progress your wife makes. many of these books devote at least one chapter to "what the spouse/sig.other can do/needs to know."
i strongly affirm that there is significant hope for your wife. the thing with PTSD and sexual abuse goes something like this: it was too difficult to keep in active memory so a very smart brain shoved it away temporarily (perhaps 30 years or so or more or less... common) until it was time to bring it back up. then one day something in real life starts to remind the person that something happened to them. (might be relating to their own children, or something they see that's similar to their own childhood like a building or uncle-figure, etc.) flashbacks start- visual pictures of small details that leave you panicked but you don't know why. then memory retrieval begins- remembering parts of events. eventually whole memories come back. by which time you are crazy with panic and trying to numb anyway you can- you drink, you take up smoking, you overeat or undereat, or if you are lucky enough you get to someone who can prescribe you a benzo and recommend a good therapist. and those who are living with you begin to wonder who you are and if you are going to stay that way for very long (because you are a little scary and hard to live with) and if the person that they knew will ever return.
some people try to heal without a good therapist, but i wouldn't want to do it. help her find a good therapist that she can trust. it's vital that she find a way to connect with other people in similar situations because most people start from the place of isolation and being convinced that this only happened to them and nobody else in the world. until you connect with other people, you can feel pretty stuck, ugly, hopeless, etc. i could never pull off a face-to-face support group, but i have benefitted significantly from several internet support groups over the years that got me through some really dark and bleak times. ultimately, only someone else who has walked in your shoes can really understand you, as much as your spouse genuinely wants to help. it takes other people who have been there to help you.
you asked if it's possible to heal. it is very possible to heal. people really do do it all the time. but it takes time. and lots of determination. people do it in different ways and some do it without a therapist because they can't find one that they like or because they can't bring themselves to see one or because they can't afford one. but i don't recommend not having one unless you really can't pull it off. financially, many have sliding fees. (you should find one familiar with sexual abuse; you can find a "check list" of appropriate questions to ask when interviewing therapists at the website i gave you.)
to answer pointedly your questions- been in therapy 3 years; saw almost immediate results because i connected with someone who believed me and who continues to reinforce the concept that it was never my fault and i am not unfixable. i started out going once a week for the first month. but things were so difficult and coming at me so fast that i had to bump up to twice a week. i've been going twice a week for 3 years. i can manage to go no more than 2 weeks without appointments before coming completely unglued. i went one year without meds, but i self-medicated with a lot of alcohol. then i got some ativan for a while. then moved on to wellbutrin. for me it was necessary to choose a med that didn't numb what i was feeling. i didn't want to be feeling what i was feeling, but i had to if i was going to heal; it's not going to go away and i have to face it and stare the beast down to size (because the beast is just a little worm.)
it won't be easy, but it can be done. lots and lots of people have beat this. once you find support, you'd be surprised how infused with hope you get.
take care,
~terra
Posted by JaneB on May 13, 2002, at 7:56:37
In reply to Re: Part Two » paxvox2000, posted by terra miller on May 13, 2002, at 5:50:09
Posted by jane d on May 13, 2002, at 10:08:55
In reply to Re: Part Two, posted by JaneB on May 12, 2002, at 22:39:11
> after talking to my pdoc about his diagnosis of possible BPII and i did research on bipolar and felt like he said something which meant I probably had a mood disorder as a child and therefore was sexually abused.
Huh? If he really said that having a mood was evidence of abuse then you probably should find a new doctor in a hurry. Being abused may cause mood disorders but most mood disorders are not caused by abuse. I would be nervous about any doctor whose grasp of cause and effect was that weak even if, as it happens, he guessed right in your case.
Jane
Posted by terra miller on May 13, 2002, at 12:33:47
In reply to Re: Part Two, posted by JaneB on May 12, 2002, at 22:39:11
did you ever find a better pdoc since that time? i can just imagine the nightmares that came from that misapplication of information!! never listen to anyone who tells you that child abuse in any form was the fault of the child. the child was told that. if that child, as an adult, reaches out (which the child was warned not to do) for help and is met with a professional who says the child caused or asked for the abuse... it can set everything spinning.
anyway, it's not right and it's not ok.
i just wanted to say that to you, for you....
take care,
terra
Posted by kiddo on May 13, 2002, at 13:57:13
In reply to Part Two, posted by paxvox2000 on May 10, 2002, at 9:47:37
I was physically, sexually, emotionally abused by my mothers husband and two of my three brothers from age 3 until I left home at 14.
Molested by my brothers friends, friends of the family, one of my cousins boyfriends, one cousins husband, seduced by a minister at 12, & raped at 19.
Sorry if I sound detached, but sometimes it's more difficult than others...guess which time this is? :-)
When my daughter turned 3, I started having flashbacks, although I didn't know that's what they were called at the time...horrible nightmares, anxiety attacks, full blown panic attacks....
Whew-need a breather, will write more later...perhaps we could do this via email if it's alright with you....
Kiddo
Posted by paxvox on May 13, 2002, at 18:11:38
In reply to Re: Part Two » paxvox2000, posted by terra miller on May 13, 2002, at 5:50:09
Thank you very much for that response, Terra. I know that you have found many answers during your years of looking for "why?". I am hopeful that my wife can find some relief, as I am really fearful she may...well....things are not too rosey just now. I know it's going to be a long process, as it has taken me 7 years (and a lot of prodding by loving friends) to finally get her to GO to see someone(Wednesday). I just hope and pray that she will "click" enough to keep going. God knows I am willing to provide her with whatever support she needs. I just wish she would even talk to me...Sorry, I know I am rambling here. Anyway, I will check out your links. I am glad that you took the time to post about this, and I appreciate that you did so. I will keep you all posted on how things progress.
Thanks again!
PAX
Posted by paxvox on May 13, 2002, at 18:15:28
In reply to Re: Part Two » paxvox2000, posted by kiddo on May 13, 2002, at 13:57:13
That will be fine. As this issue is critical to the quality of life of my entire family, I will post my email for any who would like to contact me. I will spell out the @ and the . to avoid automatic email sniffing. It is paxvox2000atscdotrrdotcom
Hope you can figure that out.
Thanks!
PAX
Posted by terra miller on May 13, 2002, at 18:20:54
In reply to Re: Part Two, posted by paxvox on May 13, 2002, at 18:11:38
this may sound depressing, but... you may not be the one that your wife chooses to talk to. she may never talk to you. that's one of the things that drove my spouse crazy is that i never told him anything and only told my therapist; he wanted to be in on things to help me, but i was too scared of everybody. he meant well, but i've never told him about the stuff i talk about in therapy. and i am doing well because it's something that i choose to do and ultimately your wife has to choose it, too which i'm sure feels frustratingly out of your control.
if she is acting unsafe, it would be good for you to know what your options are and what you will do if she needs you to keep her safe.... that is, if she's really depressed and suicidal you should have a plan. eventually she'll have her own plan on how to stay safe if she has a tendency to harm. (she has to make her own decisions otherwise she will keep feeling controlled and it will feel like reabusive behavior to her.) a good therapist will help to equip her with these skills.
terra
Posted by paxvox on May 13, 2002, at 18:28:01
In reply to Re: Part Two » paxvox, posted by terra miller on May 13, 2002, at 18:20:54
Again, you have hit it right on the head. I wish my wife would read some of these things so that she would realize that she is NOT alone.
Thanks Terra!
PAX
Posted by terra miller on May 13, 2002, at 22:21:48
In reply to Re: Part Two » terra miller, posted by paxvox on May 13, 2002, at 18:28:01
sometimes you can do the ol' opposite of what you want thing (what's that called? can't remember)
if your wife has a tendency towards stubbornness (which is good, i think... it's a sign of a good fighter/determination) you might try writing some links down on paper and giving them to her while saying, "you probably won't think this is very helpful." or "i wrote these down for you if you are ever interested, but it doesn't matter to me if you check them out or not."
the point is: if she feels there are strings attached to you, then she might not do it. but if you present them to her with no strings attached, then that gives her the opportunity to look them up herself on her own time. she might do it sooner than later if you present it that way. but that depends on what her temperament is.
you also might want to make sure that she's got time alone to process. again, don't make it seem like you are doing her a favor or she's probably not going to like your approach. but if you just leave her alone if it seems she's deep in thought, she might go looking for support if she thinks she's safe to do it without you watching her.
many abuse survivors have spent their entire lives hiding. they hid when they were little, physically. they hid mentally even remembering what happened as they grew. now that they are in recall, they still want to hide.
i never let my spouse see me participate on line. the minute i thought he was coming in the room, i shut down the computer.
running scared runs deep and is hard to break.
take whatever is useful from this.
~terra
Posted by paxvox on May 14, 2002, at 19:45:24
In reply to Re: Part Two » paxvox, posted by terra miller on May 13, 2002, at 22:21:48
Gee, Terra, I wish you and my wife could chat. Maybe someday.....
I agree with all you have said. You obviously have a keen insight into the nuances of this particularly nefarious situation.
Thanks again for all you have posted.
PAX
Posted by Beta on April 4, 2004, at 19:03:43
In reply to Re: Part Two » paxvox2000, posted by terra miller on May 13, 2002, at 5:50:09
Hi,
I see this post is somewhat old, but I have been searching this site for insight regarding CSA and PTSD.I have been very recently diagnosed with PTSD, and have probably been dealing with the symptoms for 30 years. The symptoms "slapped me in my face" (so to speak), and I could no longer hide from them. Fortuneately, I ended up at the desk of a Psychiatrist with the Veterans Administration who is extremely aware of PTSD symptoms, very empathetic, and has made way in making me feel as though "I can be somewhat fixed."
I am currently prescribed Effexor XR for the anxiety. I had been self-medicating with alcohol, marijuana, ecstacy, tranzene, codiene, whatever, on and off sice I was 13 years old.
I am anxious to "get on with this", although I do realize it takes time. Anyone out there being treated for, or educated about CSA/PTSD? For example; How long did your treatment take, or what successful medications were you prescribed? Are there any support groups you would recommend? I feel I may benefit from a support group while I anxiously await my upcoming scheduled treatment and therapy with the Veterans Administration.
Any insight would be appreciated. Thanks for listening.
~Beth
This is the end of the thread.
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