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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 9 to 33 of 49. Go back in thread:
Posted by Dr. Bob on March 26, 2002, at 18:44:01
In reply to Not optimistic. Just cursed with empathy. « Dinah, posted by Dr. Bob on March 26, 2002, at 18:43:02
[Posted by Krazy Kat on March 26, 2002, at 11:16:22]
> Dinah:
>
> I am overly empathetic toward animals. If I see a run over squirrel in the street, i cry.
>
> I'm not as good about people, except children. Children and animals - the innocents that take on so much abuse at times.
>
> But show me a story about an adult who got into a hairy (sp?) situation and I could care less.
>
> No wonder I don't have very many friends. ;)
>
> - KK
Posted by Dr. Bob on March 26, 2002, at 18:45:37
In reply to Re: Sorry, still sad. « Dinah, posted by Dr. Bob on March 26, 2002, at 18:34:38
[Posted by Zo on March 26, 2002, at 17:27:41]
> "You too beardy? I feel so sad for both of you. Where on earth do you meet people?"
>
> Dinah, sweetie, I felt and still feel this was rather a stinging post; it reads a bit condescending or judgemental.
>
> I know if someone said those two things to me, unless they were already a good friend, I'd feel pushed away by them. My guess is that you don't mean to, not at all. . .but often the tone of your posts, when I first "met" you, seemed to telegraph, Don't get close to me!
>
> Just some thoughts/feedback. Lots of times our illnesses make us "prickly" -- me too.
>
> Zo
Posted by Dr. Bob on March 26, 2002, at 18:46:40
In reply to Re: Bent? Never. « beardedlady, posted by Dr. Bob on March 26, 2002, at 18:35:34
[Posted by Zo on March 26, 2002, at 17:29:01]
Posted by Dinah on March 26, 2002, at 19:25:16
In reply to Re: Sorry, still sad. « Zo, posted by Dr. Bob on March 26, 2002, at 18:45:37
People have been telling me my whole life that I am standoffish. And I'll admit to being judgemental and a moralist. I never have figured out why using judgement was such a sin. I guess I didn't realize the extent to which I brought my personal defects in relationships to Dinah. So thank you for pointing it out to me so succinctly. And all along too. Not just that particular post. Oh well. I guess you lug yourself around with you wherever you go.
Remember however that as an overweight American from an area with a poor educational system but a lot of really decent people I was responding to the following statement.
"Duh. Most people ARE stupid. Why was "Rosanne" so popular? That's America. Fat, lazy, stupid."
I guess my sense of humor is grossly lacking. Sorry for that too. Sorry I take things at face value. Sorry I am too literal. Sorry I like America and Americans and don't see them all as fat lazy and stupid. Sorry I saw Roseanne as a family that may have been rather sarcastic at times (golly, what a sin) but also showed caring and commitment towards one another. And sorry I don't take constructive criticism particularly well. And sorry I appear prickly to you. And sorry you found my posts likely to push you away. And sorry this post seems a bit overwraught. And sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry.... for everything.
Posted by Dinah on March 26, 2002, at 20:33:51
In reply to No, seriously. Thank you for the feedback Zo., posted by Dinah on March 26, 2002, at 19:25:16
I've been crying for well over an hour now. I guess the kids in middle school were right.
Posted by Krazy Kat on March 26, 2002, at 20:38:33
In reply to Re: Sorry, still sad. « Zo, posted by Dr. Bob on March 26, 2002, at 18:45:37
i can't Stand when threads are redirected, b/c you lose the clarity of what is going on - but that should be redirected to Admin. :)
Zo, you should know by now that Dinah is Very literal. i would never read something into her comments. i believe they stand as they are written.
you both communicate very differently and you may be best off not responding to her posts until you've mulled them over a bit. but don't analyze them, that is the beauty of dinah - she is as she stands.
- kk
Posted by Dinah on March 26, 2002, at 20:39:06
In reply to Oh the shame spiral., posted by Dinah on March 26, 2002, at 20:33:51
Posted by Dinah on March 26, 2002, at 20:50:41
In reply to Is this what poor ego strength means? (nm), posted by Dinah on March 26, 2002, at 20:39:06
Something else to feel guilty about.
Bad Dinah. Bad.
Posted by Dinah on March 26, 2002, at 20:52:22
In reply to And I take things too seriously too. :(, posted by Dinah on March 26, 2002, at 20:50:41
It's actually kind of interesting to watch. Dinah melts down again.
Posted by Dinah on March 26, 2002, at 21:06:05
In reply to I'm falling apart again aren't I?, posted by Dinah on March 26, 2002, at 20:52:22
Posted by Dinah on March 26, 2002, at 21:08:52
In reply to Re: Sorry, still sad. « Zo » Dr. Bob, posted by Krazy Kat on March 26, 2002, at 20:38:33
Thanks for your kindness Krazy Kat.
I guess I'll stop this stream of consciousness (sp) thread and take a couple Klonopin and go to bed now.
Posted by Dinah on March 26, 2002, at 21:25:15
In reply to That girl just ain't right. (nm) » Dinah, posted by Dinah on March 26, 2002, at 21:06:05
Can you get a Please Be Civil for being rude to yourself?
Posted by Penny on March 26, 2002, at 22:17:42
In reply to Re: That girl just ain't right., posted by Dinah on March 26, 2002, at 21:25:15
> Can you get a Please Be Civil for being rude to yourself?
Oh Dinah...please don't torture yourself so. I admire your view of the world and those in it... I try very hard every day to see the good around me, though with my gray-tinted specs, I find it extremely difficult. But then something will happen that reaffirms my faith in humankind. Okay, so maybe this is a little sappy. But seriously, I have a favorite lunch spot that I frequent and everyone in there knows me and knows what I order. And they go out of their way to give me good service. They even give me free lunch on occasion for frequenting them so often. And on my worst days, they can bring a smile to my face. That's what it's all about, I hope. Life, I mean.
Hope I can remember all of that when I come down from my most recent visit to cloud 9. I know it's hard...and I know that's an understatement.
Lovingly,
PennyBTW- You were one of the first to respond to my first post to this board. You told me then what a wonderful support it had been for you. I know things are rough for you right now, but hoping I can give you some support in return.
Posted by Dinah on March 27, 2002, at 0:05:19
In reply to Re: Please be civil, posted by Penny on March 26, 2002, at 22:17:42
Thank you Penny. Your support means a lot to me, and it's good to hear I gave you some too.
I'm just not myself again yet. But it was rude of me to break down quite so publicly. It may be hard to tell from recent weeks, but I usually fall apart much more quietly.
I've taken a couple of Klonopin and I'll feel better until they've worn off.
Thanks again. You are very kind.
Dinah
Posted by IsoM on March 27, 2002, at 0:44:55
In reply to Re: Please be civil » Penny, posted by Dinah on March 27, 2002, at 0:05:19
Dear Dinah, your view of the world is a wonderful view to have. I don't see things as you do but that doesn't mean I can't understand why you see life like that. It's a beautiful way to look at things.
People need to understand that different views are just that - viewpoints. Look at the great works in music, literature, & art. Most intelligent people will agree that each work was created by an artistic genuis. That doesn't mean everyone needs to agree whether they enjoy the same works.
I believe it is the same with people's views. An intelligent person will base their view (or opinion) on certain facts & feelings that are unique to each individual. One's opinion is not necessarily better than another's. But we may be more inclined to agree with views that we hold similar feelings on.
Dinah, you've always been sweet & civil. Few people seem to realise that you are literally as you write. From their previous social interactions with others & past experiences dating back to early childhood, each person tends to interpret another's words in different ways. People look for interpretation in what you say - & there is none.
I don't want to sound harsh, but perhaps it may be better not to post for a while until you feel stable. If you'd like to read posts (or even comment), best to stick to just those people you know are innocuous. Please take care.
Posted by Zo on March 27, 2002, at 3:34:44
In reply to No, seriously. Thank you for the feedback Zo., posted by Dinah on March 26, 2002, at 19:25:16
I've known that spiral of shame all too well. I hope you reap some good meaning from this one. . .my sense is that you already have, that you always do.
I know that getting the meds balanced has been the key, for me. . .Nowadays, the spiral never even starts. It's amazing. I encourage you to persevere!
Zo
Posted by beardedlady on March 27, 2002, at 6:11:12
In reply to Re: Sorry, still sad. « Zo, posted by Dr. Bob on March 26, 2002, at 18:45:37
Dinah:
I didn't think your post was "stinging" at all, nor did I feel you were pushing me away--as much as a person could push on an anonymous bulletin board! See, it goes both ways. If I am allowed to make a statement that you disagree with, then you are allowed to do the same. And neither of us is allowed to get our knickers in a bunch! If your post was judgmental, that stuff doesn't bother me a bit. If mine was, oh well. I am not Jesus (or Christian). I am judged; I judge. But I do adhere to the Golden Rule. And since I don't mind a little debate, I debate.
But there's the difference between us. I am full of self-confidence and esteem. It's not because I am stuck up or beautiful or exceptionally smart or wildly talented (though I am--hahahaha); it's that my parents instilled those things in me all my life. "They fuck you up/your mom and dad." Or they don't.
I guess I should have responded to this post sooner, but I didn't know just how sensitive you were.
Really, this is just a bulletin board of (mostly) well-meaning strangers. It's not exactly real life. These are not folks who are going to see you at the grocery store and day, "Ooh--there's Dinah. She's that sensitive chick from PSB!" Posts should not send you into a tizzy and make you cry! And if they do, I guess Zo is right, and you should take a break.
But our advice differs here: Don't even read the stuff--any of it. Because you'll be curious and want to read on in your threads, and not much will be there to stop you, and the cycle will continue.
And stop apologizing! You don't owe it to anyone except yourself.
I wish you luck and a good shot of ego.
beardy : )>
> > "You too beardy? I feel so sad for both of you. Where on earth do you meet people?"
> >
> > Dinah, sweetie, I felt and still feel this was rather a stinging post; it reads a bit condescending or judgemental.
> >
> > I know if someone said those two things to me, unless they were already a good friend, I'd feel pushed away by them. My guess is that you don't mean to, not at all. . .but often the tone of your posts, when I first "met" you, seemed to telegraph, Don't get close to me!
Posted by Dinah on March 27, 2002, at 6:15:55
In reply to Civility for Dinah » Dinah, posted by IsoM on March 27, 2002, at 0:44:55
>
> I don't want to sound harsh, but perhaps it may be better not to post for a while until you feel stable. If you'd like to read posts (or even comment), best to stick to just those people you know are innocuous. Please take care.You are exactly right IsoM. I shouldn't post and I know it. Someone who cries for hours and is crying more now and will probably cry all day over another person's post doesn't belong here and never will. I wonder what I have to do to get banned. Perhaps if I admitted to being ever poster ever banned. Or figure out how to get illegal drugs so that I can pass out the information. Or post a few really nasty obscenity filled posts. Oh I don't think I can do that....
But I shouldn't post. I shouldn't read. I'm just not fit for society. Not this one. And I haven't found any others I'm fit for either.
Going to take more Klonopin.
If you don't hear from me, you'll know I took your wise advice. If you do then you know I lacked the ego strength to take your wise advice. I'm not going to be any danger to myself so no one needs to worry. This response to me is too familiar to do any really serious damage.
That's why I figure it's right. I just wish it had been different here.
Posted by Dinah on March 27, 2002, at 6:19:04
In reply to Re: No, seriously. » Dinah, posted by Zo on March 27, 2002, at 3:34:44
> I've known that spiral of shame all too well. I hope you reap some good meaning from this one. . .my sense is that you already have, that you always do.
>
> I know that getting the meds balanced has been the key, for me. . .Nowadays, the spiral never even starts. It's amazing. I encourage you to persevere!
>
> ZoDon't worry. I found the meaning you intended.
Posted by beardedlady on March 27, 2002, at 6:21:02
In reply to Re: Thank you for your concern. » Zo, posted by Dinah on March 27, 2002, at 6:19:04
Posted by Dinah on March 27, 2002, at 6:27:29
In reply to For Dinah, posted by beardedlady on March 27, 2002, at 6:11:12
>
> Really, this is just a bulletin board of (mostly) well-meaning strangers. It's not exactly real life. These are not folks who are going to see you at the grocery store and day, "Ooh--there's Dinah. She's that sensitive chick from PSB!" Posts should not send you into a tizzy and make you cry! And if they do, I guess Zo is right, and you should take a break.
>
> But our advice differs here: Don't even read the stuff--any of it. Because you'll be curious and want to read on in your threads, and not much will be there to stop you, and the cycle will continue.
>
Sorry beardy, should be clear. Your post didn't put me in a tizzy. Zo's did. And you're right. You were right before and IsoM is right. I have no business posting here. I have no business reading here. Sensitive people just don't belong here. You're right about that.Perhaps you and Zo and IsoM and, well everyone else could just post a daily reminder to me that I shouldn't be here. That I'm too sensitive to interact with others. Eventually it may get through my thick skull. Seems I long for the companionship of others too much to do the best thing for myself. But with your kind help, I should be eventually able to see the light. In fact I'll start with the next post. You all can each continue the thread. No message posts will be fine.
Posted by Dinah on March 27, 2002, at 6:28:17
In reply to Re: For Dinah » beardedlady, posted by Dinah on March 27, 2002, at 6:27:29
Posted by beardedlady on March 27, 2002, at 6:39:07
In reply to Re: For Dinah » beardedlady, posted by Dinah on March 27, 2002, at 6:27:29
Posted by Dinah on March 27, 2002, at 7:00:17
In reply to For Dinah, posted by beardedlady on March 27, 2002, at 6:11:12
I'm sorry. Apparently I misread these statements to be a suggestion that I not post on the board, at least for a while. And that I not read this board either. How could I be so mistaken
"I don't want to sound harsh, but perhaps it may be better not to post for a while until you feel stable."
"Posts should not send you into a tizzy and make you cry! And if they do, I guess Zo is right, and you should take a break.
>
> But our advice differs here: Don't even read the stuff--any of it. Because you'll be curious and want to read on in your threads, and not much will be there to stop you, and the cycle will continue."> I wish you luck and a good shot of ego.
Posted by Dinah on March 27, 2002, at 8:05:28
In reply to Re: Sorry if I misunderstood.So sensitive you know » beardedlady, posted by Dinah on March 27, 2002, at 7:00:17
I stand here like a cornered rat, trying to hold on to the sense of community I felt here for so many months. A sense that I could contribute and support others and a sense that I could find support here. A sense of community that I have found difficult to find elsewhere because of my being odd and different. A sense of community that I tried to extend to my real life. It's so important to me that I continue to post when I know I probably shouldn't. I continue to read when I know I shouldn't. And I am baffled, confused, and upset at how things changed.
But perhaps the fact that this community is so important to me is the problem. Or perhaps the problem is that no community is ready for me. Bearded Lady was right when she said:
"I worry, too, that this board might hurt some people. I have noticed a few folks here who really need help (!), and I don't think this forum is healthy for them--either because they are too sensitive or because they seem to be missing life. But that's their business, not mine. It's just an observation."
What life am I missing by being here? I haven't a wide circle of friends. I have my family and I continue to have them with or without this board. But there must be a driving desire to be part of a community even for an introvert like me. And I thought this was a level of community that I could tolerate.
So I continue to fight for my right to be here. Even if it's not in my best interests. REally pathetic isn't it.
So continue to post suggestions that I not post or read the board. Over time, my sense of community will be eroded and I will find myself able to leave here.
But in the meantime, as the cornered rat, being threatened with the loss of something important to me, I will continue to fight.
I let the girls in sixth grade run me off in tears without telling them how much they were hurting me. I may end up running off in tears, but this time I am going to express my pain.
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