![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 8 to 32 of 47. Go back in thread:
Posted by akc on November 8, 2001, at 19:00:51
In reply to Re: Cutting... Can anyone identify? Everyone...., posted by kid_A on November 8, 2001, at 14:50:05
kid_A,
It is funny how your post has come along at just this time. I haven't struggled with thoughts of cutting for several months -- since the end of February, beginning of March. But for some reason, this week has been hard -- with the old patterns of each day getting worse rearing its head. I know it is the stress of taking care of my mom -- though she is doing exceptionally well this trip. Her husband is being his usual arrogant self, and for whatever reason, that is bothering me more than usual. But, I just keep hanging on. I don't want to go there again. It is like sobriety for me. I have some time under my belt, and I want to keep building.
It is easy to romantize -- and I can just hear the wheels turning in some peoples' heads -- how could that be? While there may be some biochemical reasons behind why self-harm is so effective as a release, there is for me much more to it -- the act itself holds meaning. It is hard to put it to words -- I have never even tried. It is something I try to perfect when I do it -- it is something I can control -- how much, how deep, how often.
Anyway, your post comes at an interesting time. Thanks for posting it -- it takes courage to admit that you self-harm.
akc
Posted by kiddo on November 8, 2001, at 20:52:38
In reply to Re: Cutting... Can anyone identify? Everyone...., posted by akc on November 8, 2001, at 19:00:51
AKC-
Perhaps it's the one thing you can control when everything else around you is so out of control? I think I can relate to everything everyone has posted on this thread.
Kiddo
> kid_A,
>
> It is funny how your post has come along at just this time. I haven't struggled with thoughts of cutting for several months -- since the end of February, beginning of March. But for some reason, this week has been hard -- with the old patterns of each day getting worse rearing its head. I know it is the stress of taking care of my mom -- though she is doing exceptionally well this trip. Her husband is being his usual arrogant self, and for whatever reason, that is bothering me more than usual. But, I just keep hanging on. I don't want to go there again. It is like sobriety for me. I have some time under my belt, and I want to keep building.
>
> It is easy to romantize -- and I can just hear the wheels turning in some peoples' heads -- how could that be? While there may be some biochemical reasons behind why self-harm is so effective as a release, there is for me much more to it -- the act itself holds meaning. It is hard to put it to words -- I have never even tried. It is something I try to perfect when I do it -- it is something I can control -- how much, how deep, how often.
>
> Anyway, your post comes at an interesting time. Thanks for posting it -- it takes courage to admit that you self-harm.
>
> akc
Posted by akc on November 8, 2001, at 21:35:53
In reply to Re: Cutting... Can anyone identify? Everyone.... » akc, posted by kiddo on November 8, 2001, at 20:52:38
If you read my post, I think that is exactly what I said.
> AKC-
>
> Perhaps it's the one thing you can control when everything else around you is so out of control? I think I can relate to everything everyone has posted on this thread.
>
>
> Kiddo
>
>
> > kid_A,
> >
> > It is funny how your post has come along at just this time. I haven't struggled with thoughts of cutting for several months -- since the end of February, beginning of March. But for some reason, this week has been hard -- with the old patterns of each day getting worse rearing its head. I know it is the stress of taking care of my mom -- though she is doing exceptionally well this trip. Her husband is being his usual arrogant self, and for whatever reason, that is bothering me more than usual. But, I just keep hanging on. I don't want to go there again. It is like sobriety for me. I have some time under my belt, and I want to keep building.
> >
> > It is easy to romantize -- and I can just hear the wheels turning in some peoples' heads -- how could that be? While there may be some biochemical reasons behind why self-harm is so effective as a release, there is for me much more to it -- the act itself holds meaning. It is hard to put it to words -- I have never even tried. It is something I try to perfect when I do it -- it is something I can control -- how much, how deep, how often.
> >
> > Anyway, your post comes at an interesting time. Thanks for posting it -- it takes courage to admit that you self-harm.
> >
> > akc
Posted by kiddo on November 8, 2001, at 22:06:00
In reply to Re: Cutting... Can anyone identify? Everyone.... » kiddo, posted by akc on November 8, 2001, at 21:35:53
Sorry-I did read your post. You also said you didn't quite know how to put it into words-I was just trying to help...I won't bother anymore...
> If you read my post, I think that is exactly what I said.
>
> > AKC-
> >
> > Perhaps it's the one thing you can control when everything else around you is so out of control? I think I can relate to everything everyone has posted on this thread.
> >
> >
> > Kiddo
> >
> >
> > > kid_A,
> > >
> > > It is funny how your post has come along at just this time. I haven't struggled with thoughts of cutting for several months -- since the end of February, beginning of March. But for some reason, this week has been hard -- with the old patterns of each day getting worse rearing its head. I know it is the stress of taking care of my mom -- though she is doing exceptionally well this trip. Her husband is being his usual arrogant self, and for whatever reason, that is bothering me more than usual. But, I just keep hanging on. I don't want to go there again. It is like sobriety for me. I have some time under my belt, and I want to keep building.
> > >
> > > It is easy to romantize -- and I can just hear the wheels turning in some peoples' heads -- how could that be? While there may be some biochemical reasons behind why self-harm is so effective as a release, there is for me much more to it -- the act itself holds meaning. It is hard to put it to words -- I have never even tried. It is something I try to perfect when I do it -- it is something I can control -- how much, how deep, how often.
> > >
> > > Anyway, your post comes at an interesting time. Thanks for posting it -- it takes courage to admit that you self-harm.
> > >
> > > akc
Posted by kiddo on November 8, 2001, at 22:28:24
In reply to Re: Cutting... Can anyone identify? Everyone.... » kiddo, posted by akc on November 8, 2001, at 21:35:53
I also thought I said that "I think I can relate to everything everyone has posted on this thread.
> If you read my post, I think that is exactly what I said.
>
> > AKC-
> >
> > Perhaps it's the one thing you can control when everything else around you is so out of control? I think I can relate to everything everyone has posted on this thread.
> >
> >
> > Kiddo
> >
> >
> > > kid_A,
> > >
> > > It is funny how your post has come along at just this time. I haven't struggled with thoughts of cutting for several months -- since the end of February, beginning of March. But for some reason, this week has been hard -- with the old patterns of each day getting worse rearing its head. I know it is the stress of taking care of my mom -- though she is doing exceptionally well this trip. Her husband is being his usual arrogant self, and for whatever reason, that is bothering me more than usual. But, I just keep hanging on. I don't want to go there again. It is like sobriety for me. I have some time under my belt, and I want to keep building.
> > >
> > > It is easy to romantize -- and I can just hear the wheels turning in some peoples' heads -- how could that be? While there may be some biochemical reasons behind why self-harm is so effective as a release, there is for me much more to it -- the act itself holds meaning. It is hard to put it to words -- I have never even tried. It is something I try to perfect when I do it -- it is something I can control -- how much, how deep, how often.
> > >
> > > Anyway, your post comes at an interesting time. Thanks for posting it -- it takes courage to admit that you self-harm.
> > >
> > > akc
Posted by mair on November 9, 2001, at 7:31:36
In reply to Re: Cutting... Can anyone identify? Everyone.... » akc, posted by kiddo on November 8, 2001, at 22:28:24
kiddo - your post was entirely appropriate - sometimes it helps to see different people put similar concepts into different words and you were injecting your personal experience. I don't know where akc's caustic response came from but just try to let it go.
Did you make it to the pdoc this week?
Mair
Posted by Dinah on November 9, 2001, at 8:35:17
In reply to Re: Cutting... Can anyone identify? Everyone.... » kiddo, posted by mair on November 9, 2001, at 7:31:36
I didn't closely follow the show last night, but I sure didn't like what I saw about the treatment of the girl who cuts. It's that sort of depiction that would deter people from getting help when they need it.
It certainly didn't fit in with my experiences at all. My ob/gyn was very calm and understanding. She did check to see if I was under the care of a pdoc. My current pdoc completely ignores the cutting, as if he would encourage it by mentioning it. My therapist is calm and nonjudgemental, but of course tries to discourage it by finding better coping skills. I had a previous pdoc who basically fired me over it. Admittedly, my cutting is very superficial and light but the girl on ER didn't look like she cut that deeply either. Maybe I missed something.
What has been your experience with medical practitioners?
Posted by kid_A on November 9, 2001, at 9:18:19
In reply to Re: Cutting... Can anyone identify? Everyone...., posted by akc on November 8, 2001, at 19:00:51
akc,
(While there may be some biochemical reasons behind why self-harm is so effective as a release, there is for me much more to it -- the act itself holds meaning.)yes, it does, it's like putting yourself up on the alter for sacrifice, yet you are your own punisher, the sacrificer as well as the offering... To me, like i said its a ritual of sorts... And when it's all done, when the act is complete somehow I've ripped my soul out of myself and brought it back to life... When right before i felt so inhuman, somehow i've come to terms w/ my own inate humanity...
And there is control, no one is doing this to me, i am doing it... i am the author of the act, i am the one wielding the razor... i think of them more as battle scars in a war with depression, war wounds from the front... We're at war with ourselves, fighting to stay sane in whatever way we can rip that from ourselves... in anyway possible... cutting just happens to do that for me... After that incident i went up both on my AD and my AP so maybe that will straighten out my emotions... Sometimes its better to feel nothing at all, then to feel imense agony...
thank you so much for your comments. sometimes knowing that there is someone else who feels and does the same as you makes it less shamefull, in some aspects more rational... as crazy as that seems.
(an amnesiac healing)
Posted by akc on November 9, 2001, at 9:20:54
In reply to Re: Cutting... Did anyone see ER?, posted by Dinah on November 9, 2001, at 8:35:17
I have had a lot of experience of being treated by doctors for cutting.
I have been to the ER 4 times for stiches and have been treated well 3 of the times. But then again, I didn't try to get up and leave and act as agitated as she did. That would be a tough one for the doctors. The cuts on her leg appeared to be actively bleeding (they showed blood running down her leg from one). They needed to evaluate her. While most cutters are not suicidal, some are and the er docs would be deliquent in their jobs if they didn't get a psych consult. To do so, they would need to help her become calm. What they did was borderline -- I'm not certain it was wrong.
The one time I was not treated well was at one hospital that I have not had good treatment at period. I said I really didn't want a pysch consult, so they put a cop on my door and wouldn't finish dressing the wounds until the pdoc came and evaluated me. It was rude at best. The next time I needed help, I drove 5 extra miles (though I lived only 2 blocks from this hospital at this time), just to get better treatment.
Another thing I do believe is it depends on the doctor you get at the hospital -- or at the doctor's office. I've mentioned before I had a general practioner who I received really bad care from in the three months I had her as my doc -- to the point that she let me suffer great physical pain caused by my gall bladder going south suddenly -- but it was all in my head and was all an attempt to get pain meds because I am an alcoholic of course (another story, another day). But she knew I cut, because she took out the stiches. I don't think she even had a clue what was going on with me -- nor did she even try.
Because cutting is rare, it is a rough thing for people to understand, and I think that includes doctors.
akc
Posted by akc on November 9, 2001, at 9:22:16
In reply to SORRY » akc, posted by kiddo on November 8, 2001, at 22:06:00
I'm a little touchy right now. Just messed up in my head. I shouldn't have made that remark. I just had talked about control in my post -- thought it was the one thing I was clear about. I'll not make such remarks in the future.
akc
> Sorry-I did read your post. You also said you didn't quite know how to put it into words-I was just trying to help...I won't bother anymore...
>
>
>
> > If you read my post, I think that is exactly what I said.
> >
> > > AKC-
> > >
> > > Perhaps it's the one thing you can control when everything else around you is so out of control? I think I can relate to everything everyone has posted on this thread.
> > >
> > >
> > > Kiddo
> > >
> > >
> > > > kid_A,
> > > >
> > > > It is funny how your post has come along at just this time. I haven't struggled with thoughts of cutting for several months -- since the end of February, beginning of March. But for some reason, this week has been hard -- with the old patterns of each day getting worse rearing its head. I know it is the stress of taking care of my mom -- though she is doing exceptionally well this trip. Her husband is being his usual arrogant self, and for whatever reason, that is bothering me more than usual. But, I just keep hanging on. I don't want to go there again. It is like sobriety for me. I have some time under my belt, and I want to keep building.
> > > >
> > > > It is easy to romantize -- and I can just hear the wheels turning in some peoples' heads -- how could that be? While there may be some biochemical reasons behind why self-harm is so effective as a release, there is for me much more to it -- the act itself holds meaning. It is hard to put it to words -- I have never even tried. It is something I try to perfect when I do it -- it is something I can control -- how much, how deep, how often.
> > > >
> > > > Anyway, your post comes at an interesting time. Thanks for posting it -- it takes courage to admit that you self-harm.
> > > >
> > > > akc
Posted by Krazy Kat on November 9, 2001, at 10:43:46
In reply to Re: Cutting... Can anyone identify? What does it mean? » kid_A, posted by kiddo on November 8, 2001, at 10:04:02
Kiddo:
You described it very well. This is why I have cut in the past.
- K.
Posted by kiddo on November 9, 2001, at 11:51:49
In reply to Re: SORRY » kiddo, posted by akc on November 9, 2001, at 9:22:16
Apology accepted, and I hope you'll accept mine. I too was a bit touchy. I was just hurt because I've never had a response like that since I've posted here. I was agreeing with you, putting what you said in my words, hoping my response was in agreement with yours. (hence the question mark).
It's been a bad week for me too. This thing with my pdoc's ex-partner seems to be neverending. It feels hopeless, because, I'm alone on it. You wouldn't believe how many people I've contacted and the response is always " I"m sorry, but unfortunately, there is nothing we can do for you at this time, however, if there's anything we can do for you in the future, please let us know."
I hope things are better for you, and I know (similar) how you feel. I shouldn't have replied the way I did either. Since we've both apologized, maybe we'll be forgiven and not sent the "Please be civil" message :-)
Kiddo
> I'm a little touchy right now. Just messed up in my head. I shouldn't have made that remark. I just had talked about control in my post -- thought it was the one thing I was clear about. I'll not make such remarks in the future.
>
> akc
>
> > Sorry-I did read your post. You also said you didn't quite know how to put it into words-I was just trying to help...I won't bother anymore...
> >
> >
> >
> > > If you read my post, I think that is exactly what I said.
> > >
> > > > AKC-
> > > >
> > > > Perhaps it's the one thing you can control when everything else around you is so out of control? I think I can relate to everything everyone has posted on this thread.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Kiddo
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > > kid_A,
> > > > >
> > > > > It is funny how your post has come along at just this time. I haven't struggled with thoughts of cutting for several months -- since the end of February, beginning of March. But for some reason, this week has been hard -- with the old patterns of each day getting worse rearing its head. I know it is the stress of taking care of my mom -- though she is doing exceptionally well this trip. Her husband is being his usual arrogant self, and for whatever reason, that is bothering me more than usual. But, I just keep hanging on. I don't want to go there again. It is like sobriety for me. I have some time under my belt, and I want to keep building.
> > > > >
> > > > > It is easy to romantize -- and I can just hear the wheels turning in some peoples' heads -- how could that be? While there may be some biochemical reasons behind why self-harm is so effective as a release, there is for me much more to it -- the act itself holds meaning. It is hard to put it to words -- I have never even tried. It is something I try to perfect when I do it -- it is something I can control -- how much, how deep, how often.
> > > > >
> > > > > Anyway, your post comes at an interesting time. Thanks for posting it -- it takes courage to admit that you self-harm.
> > > > >
> > > > > akc
Posted by kiddo on November 9, 2001, at 14:48:48
In reply to Re: Cutting... Can anyone identify? Everyone.... » kiddo, posted by mair on November 9, 2001, at 7:31:36
Mair-
Actually I did make it to the pdoc Wednesday. It was rather sad actually, he was bummed because a pt. passed away. I was kinda bummed because of everything that's been going on-but-I'm tired of dealing with something I can't control at this point, so I'm trying (sometimes not so successfully) not to worry about it.
I broke down and cried regarding something that a visitor to my site told me-I think it was the first time I've actually felt true empathy for someone. I told my pdoc I didn't understand why I was crying, that I've never experienced that before, he told me it wasn't because I was sad, it was because I was empathetic to their needs. I was shocked-I didn't know that's what it was. It was a rather enlightening session.
Kiddo
> kiddo - your post was entirely appropriate - sometimes it helps to see different people put similar concepts into different words and you were injecting your personal experience. I don't know where akc's caustic response came from but just try to let it go.
>
> Did you make it to the pdoc this week?
>
> Mair
Posted by Mair on November 9, 2001, at 20:15:39
In reply to Pdoc apptointment » mair, posted by kiddo on November 9, 2001, at 14:48:48
>
> "I broke down and cried regarding something that a visitor to my site told me-I think it was the first time I've actually felt true empathy for someone. I told my pdoc I didn't understand why I was crying, that I've never experienced that before, he told me it wasn't because I was sad, it was because I was empathetic to their needs. I was shocked-I didn't know that's what it was. It was a rather enlightening session."
>
Kiddo - I hope this means you're not sorry that you went like you thought you might be. Sometimes I think that I'm so self-absorbed and spend so much time analyzing what's going on in my head, that I sort of disregard the fact that my emotions or reactions might be very typical. My therapist occasionally will give me what she calls a "reality check" to let me know that at least in some instances what I am feeling is what anyone might feel. It sounds like this is what you're pdoc is trying to tell you. I'm sure you're not unempathetic - you just maybe don't recognize empathy for what it is.Mair
Posted by kiddo on November 9, 2001, at 20:58:08
In reply to Re: Pdoc apptointment » kiddo, posted by Mair on November 9, 2001, at 20:15:39
> >
> > "I broke down and cried regarding something that a visitor to my site told me-I think it was the first time I've actually felt true empathy for someone. I told my pdoc I didn't understand why I was crying, that I've never experienced that before, he told me it wasn't because I was sad, it was because I was empathetic to their needs. I was shocked-I didn't know that's what it was. It was a rather enlightening session."
> >
> Kiddo - I hope this means you're not sorry that you went like you thought you might be. Sometimes I think that I'm so self-absorbed and spend so much time analyzing what's going on in my head, that I sort of disregard the fact that my emotions or reactions might be very typical. My therapist occasionally will give me what she calls a "reality check" to let me know that at least in some instances what I am feeling is what anyone might feel. It sounds like this is what you're pdoc is trying to tell you. I'm sure you're not unempathetic - you just maybe don't recognize empathy for what it is.
>
> MairNo, I'm not sorry that I went, it was rather a breakthrough moment for me in therapy. I was bitter and hardened from my past and everything that's happened in my life. I didn't know what 'feeling' empathy really was until Wednesday. I don't know how to put it into words, it's something I've never experienced before in my entire life. I'm still in shock over it all.
Posted by wendy b. on November 9, 2001, at 22:24:11
In reply to Re: Cutting... Can anyone identify? Everyone.... » akc, posted by kid_A on November 9, 2001, at 9:18:19
>(Anyway, your post comes at an interesting time. Thanks for posting it -- it takes courage to admit that you self-harm.
akc)
>(Because cutting is rare, it is a rough thing for people to understand, and I think that includes doctors.akc)
Dear Everyone,
I cut and pasted AKC's remarks because, yes, it takes courage to admit you cut, but as I understand it, no it's not rare.
I also agree, the dramatic handling of cutting on ER last night was a *little* over-the-top, but Carter had an obligation to help the woman, she was clearly almost hitting bottom. And the thing I like about ER is that their writers have their ears to the ground about the issue of self-harm, and it brings the issue into the consciousness of a lot of people who never would have thought about it.
I feel for everyone who has posted here very much. I am trying to understand the reasons people cut, and how it feels when you cut. I value everyone's honesty and openness. I am in group therapy with several women who are younger than me, and they all have cut, or still do, or struggle with cutting from time to time. When we first discussed the topic of 'Stress,' and how we cope with it, everyone in the room except me said cutting was one way they dealt with stress. I went home that night horrified, I felt that I didn't have 'serious' problems like that, thinking I was maybe in the wrong group, I was only BP II, right? - Of course, it turns out it has been a very good group, it's been very mutually supportive and honest. After reading some more about cutting, (there have been some long threads on PSB in the past), and talking about it in group, I have a better understanding. The therapist says, "We talk about it as if it is a dirty little secret that we wish we could hide in a closet. Like you're the only ones doing it. It's not ONLY you, cutting is reaching near-epidemic proportions." So I thought I would add these comments...
you are all in my thoughts tonight,
Wendy
> akc,
> (While there may be some biochemical reasons behind why self-harm is so effective as a release, there is for me much more to it -- the act itself holds meaning.)
>
> yes, it does, it's like putting yourself up on the alter for sacrifice, yet you are your own punisher, the sacrificer as well as the offering... To me, like i said its a ritual of sorts... And when it's all done, when the act is complete somehow I've ripped my soul out of myself and brought it back to life... When right before i felt so inhuman, somehow i've come to terms w/ my own inate humanity...
>
> And there is control, no one is doing this to me, i am doing it... i am the author of the act, i am the one wielding the razor... i think of them more as battle scars in a war with depression, war wounds from the front... We're at war with ourselves, fighting to stay sane in whatever way we can rip that from ourselves... in anyway possible... cutting just happens to do that for me... After that incident i went up both on my AD and my AP so maybe that will straighten out my emotions... Sometimes its better to feel nothing at all, then to feel imense agony...
>
> thank you so much for your comments. sometimes knowing that there is someone else who feels and does the same as you makes it less shamefull, in some aspects more rational... as crazy as that seems.
>
> (an amnesiac healing)
Posted by Dinah on November 9, 2001, at 23:50:17
In reply to Re: Cutting... is NOT rare. » kid_A, posted by wendy b. on November 9, 2001, at 22:24:11
Well, I'll admit I wasn't following the show that closely. I saw where Carter saw the old scars and then demanded to see her thighs. I think at that point I might have tried to leave myself. Then the syringe and the forced admittal. It seemed a bit excessive to me for what looked like superficial cuts in what was obviously a long time self injurer. But I probably missed the rest of the show where they gave some reason why the reaction to the old scars wasn't overly dramatic. And maybe it is a sensitive subject for me.
However, I think I'll try to remember not to try to walk away from a doctor under those circumstances, just in case.
Posted by akc on November 10, 2001, at 10:10:47
In reply to Re: Cutting... is NOT rare. » wendy b., posted by Dinah on November 9, 2001, at 23:50:17
I still have a lot of mixed feelings on how ER handled the whole issue of cutting. While I think it takes courage to bring the subject up, I don't think they handled it very well. Mosts cutters are not about to go off the deep end, and showing a cutter who is just gives the wrong impression. The woman was at her emotional end -- wanting drugs, having eating issues, passing out from not taking care of herself, becoming extremely agitated at the drop of a hat.
For me, when I cut, and from a lot of cutters I have met online, I actually become much calmer when I cut. So the picture ER drew did not mesh with those cutters I know.
However, I am glad that the issue of cutting has been brought out a little was from the closet -- I just hope they have the courage to really deal with it, and not leave it where they did. Because the fact is that most people are freaked out by the thought someone would do such a thing to themselves, and that includes doctors -- including ER doctors.
If you ever cut and you need stiches and you go to the ER and you don't want admitted -- stay calm, let them call for the pysch consult, the psych is likely to better understand (likely, not 100% the case though) -- and most of all, don't let them mistreat you. Insist on quality care. Your not crazy for cutting and you have a right to be treated with dignity.
akc
Posted by wendy b. on November 10, 2001, at 10:10:58
In reply to Re: Cutting... is NOT rare. » wendy b., posted by Dinah on November 9, 2001, at 23:50:17
I agree, and remember, I'm looking at it as someone who does not cut, so my view is skewed...
Wendy
> Well, I'll admit I wasn't following the show that closely. I saw where Carter saw the old scars and then demanded to see her thighs. I think at that point I might have tried to leave myself. Then the syringe and the forced admittal. It seemed a bit excessive to me for what looked like superficial cuts in what was obviously a long time self injurer. But I probably missed the rest of the show where they gave some reason why the reaction to the old scars wasn't overly dramatic. And maybe it is a sensitive subject for me.
> However, I think I'll try to remember not to try to walk away from a doctor under those circumstances, just in case.
Posted by Dinah on November 10, 2001, at 10:34:19
In reply to Re: Cutting... is NOT rare. » Dinah, posted by wendy b. on November 10, 2001, at 10:10:58
> I agree, and remember, I'm looking at it as someone who does not cut, so my view is skewed...
>
> Wendy
>
>
I can see from what akc wrote that I did miss some important parts of the portrayal.
I smiled when you wrote that your view is skewed. I'm aware that it's my view that is considered to be a bit unusual.
Mind you I am the most careful cutter in the world. I use cuticle scissors, which would be incapable of cutting very deep. I always use alchohol to clean the skin and scissors first. I always use antibiotic ointment after to reduce scars. So I guess I tend to underplay the problem a bit too much because I feel like it's under control. Right now I'm not cutting much at all, largely due to my positive attachment to my therapist. He doesn't make me sign contracts or anything, but I know he would rather that I not do it. Maybe one day I'll quit doing it for myself, but it really doesn't seem that important. One step at a time.
Posted by Dinah on November 10, 2001, at 10:35:18
In reply to Re: Cutting... is NOT rare., posted by Dinah on November 10, 2001, at 10:34:19
Posted by galtin on November 10, 2001, at 11:26:15
In reply to Pdoc apptointment » mair, posted by kiddo on November 9, 2001, at 14:48:48
I broke down and cried regarding something that a visitor to my site told me-I think it was the first time I've actually felt true empathy for someone. I told my pdoc I didn't understand why I was crying, that I've never experienced that before, he told me it wasn't because I was sad, it was because I was empathetic to their needs. I was shocked-I didn't know that's what it was. It was a rather enlightening session.
>
> KiddoKiddo,
Thanks for the update. I am glad that you decided to go.I am curious about what your pdoc said. When we are empathetic, aren't we identifying with, even to some degree experiencing, the feelings of another person. So when this person's feelings are sad, don't we feel sad as well? How often do we say that we are empathizing with somebody who is happy? Anyway, was your doctor suggesting that your sadness was the RESULT of your empathy?
Just curious,
galtin
Posted by dreamer on November 10, 2001, at 13:29:03
In reply to Re: Cutting... is NOT rare., posted by Dinah on November 10, 2001, at 10:34:19
Been trying to avoid this thread for I've recently started again on areas that cannot be easily seen.
For me it's what I do when I don't want to live and don't want to die moments.
I usually cut my hair or shave it's a kinda kick in the face of life and because I dislike who I am and then again I wouldn't like to be anyone else -complex.
Also oddly it substitutes affection either giving or recieving.
Don't know why.dreamer still hanging on .........just.
Posted by dreamer on November 10, 2001, at 13:37:55
In reply to Re: Cutting... , posted by dreamer on November 10, 2001, at 13:29:03
> Also, oddly, cutting myself substitutes the lack of affection, either giving affection or recieving it.Made me sound like I cut others so I altered that sentance.
Posted by kiddo on November 10, 2001, at 19:13:56
In reply to Re: Pdoc apptointment, posted by galtin on November 10, 2001, at 11:26:15
> Kiddo,
>
>
> Thanks for the update. I am glad that you decided to go.
>
> I am curious about what your pdoc said. When we are empathetic, aren't we identifying with, even to some degree experiencing, the feelings of another person. So when this person's feelings are sad, don't we feel sad as well? How often do we say that we are empathizing with somebody who is happy? Anyway, was your doctor suggesting that your sadness was the RESULT of your empathy?
>
>
>
> Just curious,
>
>
> galtin
Galtin-You're welcome, I'm glad I went as well, it turned out to be a really good one. You know what empathy is, as I'm sure most people on this board do as well.
Until this past Wednesday, I had never had an experience like it before. There were times when I thought I was, but, it was more like an "I know what you mean" without the feelings/emotions to go with it. Words without meaning. I couldn't put it into words that day either, and told him so, that's when he said what he did about my not being sad, but empathetic to them and their needs.
What he meant was that I wasn't personally sad-the only time I'd ever cried before. I've only cried in one movie-ever, and I was alone then.
I hope have a better understanding of what I'm trying to convey-and if you do (or anyone for that matter) please let ME know!
Kiddo
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