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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Fivefires on September 11, 2007, at 16:29:57
I did 'the right thing' and it feels awful.
Making matters worse, a nice guy, I'm so not attracted to, is trying to make his way into my life. He could be a friend maybe, but I don't even know enuf' about him to say this for sure.
But then, there's the same ole' story. He wants more. I've never had a man friend who didn't want to go there at one time or another. I'm a magnet.(?) I've told him 'no way will I go this way'. He text messages me a couple times every day. I don't ignore. I say the truth.
But I'm playing w/ fire as when a man is out for your body, and you are so not attracted to him in this way, I should 'end it' right now.
Made mistake of giving my # instead of taking his o_o and, no, can't afford to block.
Could use your help guys.
5f
Posted by Happyflower 1 :-) on September 12, 2007, at 7:21:51
In reply to My 'missache'? Can't get him off my mind ..., posted by Fivefires on September 11, 2007, at 16:29:57
Hi Firefires,
This happens to me too, in fact most of my life. I am beginning to believe you can't have friends of the opposite sex usually. SOme guys just don't hear "no" and they think they can still convince you. It sounds like you are doing all that you can. Do you have regular contact with this guy like at a job or something? Is there a way to ban him from texting you? If you cut off all contact with him, maybe he will get the message, so maybe trying ignoring him?
Posted by Fivefires on September 12, 2007, at 14:20:37
In reply to Re: My 'missache'? Can't get him off my mind ..., posted by Happyflower 1 :-) on September 12, 2007, at 7:21:51
> Hi Firefires,
>
> This happens to me too, in fact most of my life. I am beginning to believe you can't have friends of the opposite sex usually. SOme guys just don't hear "no" >Exactly.
and they think they can still convince you.>
I guess.
>It sounds like you are doing all that you can. >
No I should do something I think. Even if it's a little white fib. Maybe I'll tell him I'm getting back together w/ my ex sig-other. This should stave him off. I heard my cell play 'somewhere over the rainbow' (I know.) this morn' and was hoping I'd be awaken to a text from some1 I love, but instead it was him w/ 'morning beautiful'. I'm sorry, but I just felt ill.
>Do you have regular contact with this guy like at a job or something?>
He leaves here in this same small condo complex. If I tell him it's come to a halt, won't be doing my self any favors re: neighbors.
>Is there a way to ban him from texting you?>
Yes, believe you can block, but can't afford. Cell is gift from daughter and her husband. He was angry w/ me last night becuz' I was sick and wanted some crackers and said so in a text message, but apparently politically incorrect, as he said responded 'don't send these kind of messages'.
>If you cut off all contact with him, maybe he will get the message, so maybe trying ignoring him?>
I tried this for a few days and then felt bad about not being honest or courageous. Hate to hurt someone, but guess I need to think about how I feel. There's a few moments when someone you really don't care for says 'morning beautiful', you like it(?), but that's using someone to get 'your kicks' and I that's not right is it?
You made no mention of the one I love/d. The OOP said 'may contact by mail' ... sort of scribbled by the judge at the bottom. I wasn't sure he'd seen it. I did this because he loves to write long notes or letters. I did the OOP because he has 'some real problems'. He can't see them or doesn't. His fam' covers for him. He is very clever, witty, charming, enigmatic, and, if he is 'knocked off his thrown', he can get right back up and throw on this perfect grin and say the perfect words. It's kind of like if you accidentally ran over a pet .. your 'conscious' can't just shut it out. Well, his can, or at least he tells me this. This is one of the reasons I got the OOP. He would make a big mistake and just repeat it over and over again. And, I did it for both of us in a way. As much I was drawn to him, he was to me also. I guess I just thought he'd never stop loving me. (I know. Like 'I'm all that'.) But then something told me 'now you know people can do this'. Myself, once I love, I love forever. Is that strange? Anyway, I didn't really want this. I didn't really want him to go. Instead I wanted him to behave properly w/ me. I know you can't change anyone and I thought maybe he'd want to change his ways if he wasn't allowed to touch base w/ me every weekend. Anyway, I wrote him a typed note and left it where he should have gotten it (unless fam' intercepted it) saying I missed him and I did this for both of us and I hoped we could keep in touch. I think 'his love for me' wasn't as strong as I'd thought and I know he can 'consciously put feelings away' in an almost psychotic sort of way. I shouldn't have played w/ the law as I did .. I think. Well maybe I most certainly had the right to do what I did because some of the things he did were very wrong, but as you can see from what I've said here, it wasn't just for this reason. I'd gotten to know him inside and out over 13yrs and for these misgivings of his there were some valid reasons, I felt. He still would occasionally 'take something' from my home or 'tell fibs', especially re: being w/ his mother or having dinner there or living there (age mid 40s), which just became 'so old'.
I talked to some guy this weekend who said to shake my hand loose and hold it out and point my finger at his. So we stood there pointing our index fingers at each other. He then said 'I feel a lot of negativity'. (I thought OMG what has become of 'the good me'?) And then he said 'Go w/ you heart. Always go w/ your heart'.
Well damn! If I'd gone w/ my heart, I'd have married this ex-sig years ago.
I fear going w/ my heart as I am a very 'heartful person'. I am very sensitive and passionate. This is heart stuff isn't it? My mind and rational thoughts are here somwhere too, but they're like 'a nose behind' my heart. It's like I've been in a race to the finish line all my life ... go w/ the horse w/ the heart or the horse w/ the nose. I'm not a horse. I'm a dragon. I must be a mean fire breathing dragon w/ negativity according to this guy I spoke of here. I don't know where all this is coming from. This is not like me.
Tks so much Happyflower 1,
(I guess somebody else took Happyflower w/o a 1 huh?)
very much, 5f
Posted by Happyflower 1 :-) on September 14, 2007, at 9:21:59
In reply to Re: My 'missache'? Can't get him off my mind ..., posted by Fivefires on September 12, 2007, at 14:20:37
Hey Fivefires,
How are things going for you now? You are hurtin so much, I wish there was a way to take it away. But my T said that sometimes being hurt is a blessing, because it gives us strength to do what we need to do, or it "opens another window". Well I am not so sure about that, maybe he is right. He said something about the 3 worst tragic things in his life, if he had to do it all over again, he would because it gave him something special from surviving them.
I am not sure what to think of the pointing fingers thing. This guy is probably right, but I am not sure about his tactics.
This guy who lives by you, seems to have too much power. He kinda creeps me out. I mean it is cool to have someone who likes you, but if you tell him no, it should mean no. Guys who don't listen to that , kinda scares me. Please be careful with this guy.
Please write and let me know how you are doing.
Posted by Phillipa on September 14, 2007, at 21:26:34
In reply to Re: My 'missache'? Can't get him off my mind ... » Fivefires, posted by Happyflower 1 :-) on September 14, 2007, at 9:21:59
FF this could escalate into a dangerous situation. Living right where you are. Love Phillipa
Posted by Fivefires on September 15, 2007, at 17:42:11
In reply to Re: My 'missache'? Can't get him off my mind ..., posted by Phillipa on September 14, 2007, at 21:26:34
I'm not good. I'm not doing good at all, but I'll be okay. I can't post. I don't know what to say. I thought about going to the judge and saying whoops I'm sorry but I'm not really mad at him anymore so can you just use your legal education to undo this for me and quash the OOP, but sh*t! And this guy just keeps bugging me after I told him I'm seeing someone else. I just gotta' lie down and curl up and hear 'quiet'! I'm okay and hope you all are as well.
5f
Posted by Phillipa on September 15, 2007, at 20:44:08
In reply to Re: My 'missache'? Can't get him off my mind ..., posted by Fivefires on September 15, 2007, at 17:42:11
option to move still open? Maybe a good guy in another location if the one you're in is not the right one? Just a thought. Phillipa
Posted by Fivefires on September 16, 2007, at 1:02:32
In reply to Re: My 'missache'? Can't get him off my mind ... » Fivefires, posted by Phillipa on September 15, 2007, at 20:44:08
option to move still open? >
Nope, not right now.
Maybe a good guy in another location if the one you're in is not the right one? Just a thought.>
I do feel so out of place here.
I've been so bad today about trying to get things done and following up posts. I'm feeling a lot of anxiety over this whole thing. Ready to go get a freakin' 'quash of the OOP'. I shouldn't have to spend days on end ALONE. Dunno. Maybe this is natural to feel like. It's just ... I think maybe this is my last shot ya' know.(?)
Phillipa>
Wish I could have moved. Guess you all have thought of about everything possible to help me and I should do some work now. I'll go beat on my pillows and thrash about and have some soda and watch a movie and TRY to cry. I can't cry.(?)
5f
Posted by Happyflower 1 :-) on September 16, 2007, at 5:17:49
In reply to Re: My 'missache'? Can't get him off my mind ..., posted by Fivefires on September 16, 2007, at 1:02:32
((((((fivefires)))))))))) I am so sorry you are having such a hard time. YOu are not alone, you have us on babble, I know it isn't the same, but you are not alone. okay?
Posted by Fivefires on September 18, 2007, at 12:24:12
In reply to Re: My 'missache'? Can't get him off my mind ... » Fivefires, posted by Happyflower 1 :-) on September 14, 2007, at 9:21:59
> Hey Fivefires,
>
> How are things going for you now?Same.
>You are hurtin so much, I wish there was a way to take it away.>
Spending $ helps a little.
>But my T said that sometimes being hurt is a blessing, because it gives us strength to do what we need to do, or it "opens another window".>
Hmmm. I've heard this as well. I hope this guy I just 'shut down' wasn't the window. Yikes.
> Well I am not so sure about that, maybe he is right. He said something about the 3 worst tragic things in his life, if he had to do it all over again, he would because it gave him something special from surviving them.>
I must be pretty dang special then! Ha!
> I am not sure what to think of the pointing fingers thing. This guy is probably right, but I am not sure about his tactics.>
I forgot I told u this on this thread. I don't know why I didn't tell him 'what I felt'! Ha! I think he felt anger and sadness. I've not any negative intentions.
> This guy who lives by you, seems to have too much power. He kinda creeps me out. I mean it is cool to have someone who likes you, but if you tell him no, it should mean no. Guys who don't listen to that , kinda scares me. Please be careful with this guy. >His last text was 'if women would stop playing games life would be happier'. That told me all I needed to know about him. No more.
> Please write and let me know how you are doing.
Sorry .. been so long at the fair, but Lord I just can 't stand it anymore .. (Bonnie Raitt); but, I'm not at a fair, I'm at Wal-M*rt! (Is that even funny?)
I'm fatiguing easily. This is taking a lot out of me so it's been hard for me to keep up w/ posts. Aren't I just the worst at this?
I wouldn't blame you all for going to chat and making it the topic or maybe Dr. Bob is going to have to make a rule about it or something.
No .. just kiddin'. I hoee.
Life is hard and I'm tired. Gotta' head out now.
Just thank you so much for being here. This is everything I need.
5f
Posted by Fivefires on September 18, 2007, at 13:44:09
In reply to Re: My 'missache'? Can't get him off my mind ..., posted by Phillipa on September 14, 2007, at 21:26:34
You're right Phillipa. It's probably the negativity that dude felt.(?) I think it's all around this place. Still want to move back to north Te*pe.
5f
This is the end of the thread.
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