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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by zoey1122 on May 2, 2007, at 8:12:05
Hello!! I just really need other people's opinions on what I just went through in a relationship. Granted it was only 2 months, he practically did live with me the entire time. The problem is he had just come out of an unhealthy relationship where his ex treated him badly and rejected him. (Now I realize this is the type of girl he's probably attracted to where I have always been attracted to unavailable men like my father). Then he meets me and comes on so strongly and insists he's over his ex so I believed him and fell for him. It is a blue moon when I meet someone I feel chemistry with so you can imagine how excited I was, and for the first time in forever I wasn't scared off by the "nice" guy who was totally available.
I suffer from depression/BPD tendencies and think I was somewhat depressed when we were seeing each other because I was sleeping all the time (up to 13hr a night). However, it didn't seem to bother him too much, in fact he started encouraging me to wake up in the mornings to go running with him. So 2 months into the relationship I am blindsided by him just packing his things and moving out. I was mad at him for going to his boss's house the night before and not calling me telling me he wasn't coming home but I didn't think it was a deal breaker. So then I find out he called his ex a couple weeks ago and told her he loved her and thought about her every morning when he woke up. That killed me...devastated me. I am so hurt. And the thing is he wants to be friends with me and he's really sorry and says he cares for me deeply, but should I be friends with him since I feel used that he was on the rebound?? If tables were turned maybe I would have "used" someone to just to get rid of the pain. I am being "friends" with him now because of my rejection/abandonment issues I feel I would get really depressed and anxious if I told him I didn't want to talk to him again.
So I am just so confused, I became "addicted" to him and now he's gone and I just feel so belittled and can't believe he never had feelings for me. So my question to you guys is, does he deserve my friendship??? Shall I forgive and be friends or shall I move on and tell him what he did is not worthy of my friendship??
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and for any advice!!!!!
Posted by Angela2 on May 2, 2007, at 10:48:50
In reply to Should I feel betrayed???, posted by zoey1122 on May 2, 2007, at 8:12:05
Hi zoey. I'm sorry that happened to you. If it were me, I wouldn't know how to go from boyfriend to just friends just like that when ya still have feelings for him and he's dating someone else. You should take some time and think what's best for you and what you're most comfortable with.
Angela2
Posted by fayeroe on May 2, 2007, at 19:23:16
In reply to Re: Should I feel betrayed???, posted by Angela2 on May 2, 2007, at 10:48:50
i think he treated you badly. i can't see being friends with him now. cake and icing,too?
Posted by zoey1122 on May 3, 2007, at 7:13:09
In reply to Re: Should I feel betrayed???, posted by fayeroe on May 2, 2007, at 19:23:16
Thanks for the responses...I agree, he doesn't deserve me as a friend. We'll see if I can't be strong enough to break the ties!!
Posted by Angela2 on May 3, 2007, at 10:38:26
In reply to Re: Should I feel betrayed???, posted by zoey1122 on May 3, 2007, at 7:13:09
Zoey, you deserve the best. Remember that! :)
Posted by Cynthia_Greene on May 5, 2007, at 16:01:01
In reply to Re: Should I feel betrayed???, posted by Angela2 on May 3, 2007, at 10:38:26
Maybe it would help you break ties completely if you had official closure to the relationship. You might consider talking to him in person one last time and telling him how much he hurt you (in a calm and rational way, of course). Then explain to him why you don't think it would be good to remain friends. Sometimes having final closure helps people to let go of something.
This is the end of the thread.
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