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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by calamityjane on February 17, 2007, at 20:15:56
the priest who has recently taken over at the church I have a attended since birth, implied to me that there was something emotionally wrong with me when I had told him I never had the desire for a marriage, but that I planned my pregnancy. yeah - he's right - of course there is something emotionally wrong with me, but not because I wanted to be a mother!Why am I less deserving of motherhood, just because I choose not to take the risk necessary for marriage, hoping that it wont end in heartbreak? Too many people have let me down, and let my family down. I cant even trust my own flesh in blood at this point, How could I then trust someone who has not even known me 10 % as long as my family? Why would they feel any more obligated than true family does?
Why can't others accept the fact that not all people are comfortable with what society says they should do?
And as for God & my preist, why have I always been told that God has allowed us free will and the ability to create our own lives? Even if we are tehnically making a "decision" when we get married, God and society has already told us its "what we should do". Even if we think we decided on our own, God and man had a LOT more say than what we realize.
Anyway - just ranting. Got mad at my preist, thats what got me started here. lol. Funny, marriage and family had absolutely NOTHING to do with the problem I originally contacted him about. Lol.
Posted by jo.uk on February 18, 2007, at 3:33:02
In reply to anyone here pro-children, but anti marriage?, posted by calamityjane on February 17, 2007, at 20:15:56
I think any relationship risks heartbreak, whether you have the piece of paper saying you're married or not.
You certainly dont deserve children any less if you're not married, but maybe children deserve a committed relationship to help them feel more secure. You dont have to be married to be committed. Having kids with someone is even more of a commitment than marriage I think. Having kids is also more joyful,more stressful, more demanding than any marriage.
I met my husband at 19 (he was 18), we got a mortgage within a year, had first child when I was 21, second child when I was 23 but didnt get married to him until I was 31. At 31 I felt I wanted to be his wife. Not a partner or girlfriend, but a wife. Suddenly it had meaning to me. I'm not sure why. But if you dont feel it, you dont HAVE to do it. It doesnt make you less of a mother. By the way, our wedding was a civil ceremony as neither of us are religious.
Regards
Jo
Posted by Meri-Tuuli on February 18, 2007, at 11:37:16
In reply to Re: anyone here pro-children, but anti marriage?, posted by jo.uk on February 18, 2007, at 3:33:02
Yeah I agree with Jo.
I also think just having one secure parent is enough - I think people should be allowed to have children even if they're a single parent family.
I'm sorta anti-marriage to be honest. Its fine if thats what you want and both partners can be equal about it, and are both as committed and truthful about it to themselves and each other.
Posted by Declan on February 18, 2007, at 16:18:23
In reply to anyone here pro-children, but anti marriage?, posted by calamityjane on February 17, 2007, at 20:15:56
Of course motherhood can end in heartbreak, just like marriage can.
Posted by elanor roosevelt on May 5, 2007, at 22:37:09
In reply to anyone here pro-children, but anti marriage?, posted by calamityjane on February 17, 2007, at 20:15:56
I think the 2 parents in one house thing is over-rated.
This is the end of the thread.
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