![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by ClearSkies on January 1, 2007, at 21:45:24
I've been on psychotropic drugs since I first met my DH. We met in 2000 and have been together ever since. Most of the thick and thins have been on my part, while his extraordinary skills of tolerance have kept our bond very strong. I've had a rotten run of side effects and new complaints over the past months. I can't say that I have been stable for a long while now. I know that I am having a hard time looking at my situation as chronic and requiring (most likely?) a life time of treatment.
I recently got into a "I wanna stop taking all my meds" frame of mine after a frustrating and unsatisfactory appointment with my pdoc. In thinking through my desire to just stop everything and get myself back to a baseline of some sort. my husband has been this cheering section, urging me to go on and get "clean".
Does anyone else go through this with their spouse? I'm afraid that if I eventually decide to leave my medications alone and just carry on with the endless tweaking, my DH will lose all faith in how I manage my mental health.
CS
Posted by LJRen on January 1, 2007, at 22:47:15
In reply to My husband doesn't want me to take any medication, posted by ClearSkies on January 1, 2007, at 21:45:24
before you go off meds, do you remember how you were before you ever started taking meds?
in dealing w/ the ups & downs of my depression and the numerous meds & their side-effects I know it can be trying to say the least. but I do know that insufficient working meds is still better than no meds at all. for me, it's the difference between living a few feet deep in the dark pit of despair and at the very bottom of it.
perhaps you can stress to your husband that his support is what you need more than anything when it comes to whatever decision you come up with.
take care,
Ren
Posted by MidnightBlue on January 1, 2007, at 23:24:59
In reply to My husband doesn't want me to take any medication, posted by ClearSkies on January 1, 2007, at 21:45:24
CS
I did stop all of my meds (almost) and I wasn't in great shape when I did it either. I carefully tapered off Wellbutrin and Depakote after years on them.
I couldn't afford them any longer, didn't have insurance, and I was sick of doctors who just kept adding drugs to try to make me better. Guess what? I got no worse! I did just FINE without the Depakote. I even felt better! And the Wellbutrin had basically stopped working. The only thing I didn't give up was my arthritis med, Prilosec, and Ambien. I did add a high grade fish oil. That actually made me start to feel better.
If you are sick of adding drugs or tweaking them, then you might want to very carefully consider stopping meds. You can always add them back or start a new one. Just stay on top of things and if you feel yourself "slipping" notify your pdoc.
I looked at it as an opportunity to have a "clean slate" in case we needed to try something new. So far, I haven't and it has been two years.
After saying all that, do this because YOU want to or are ready to, not because you feel like you have to because of your husband.
MB
Posted by ClearSkies on January 2, 2007, at 8:04:04
In reply to Re: My husband doesn't want me to take any medica » ClearSkies, posted by LJRen on January 1, 2007, at 22:47:15
> before you go off meds, do you remember how you were before you ever started taking meds?
>Oh, yes; it's quite vivid. 24/7 of inconsolable crying and panic attacks that prevented me from leaving the house. I'm high functioning now. I just don't know if I'm ready to admit to being good and broken and needing to remain on my meds. I would love to be able to say that I'm "over" my illness instead of having developed a chronic and altered condition.
> in dealing w/ the ups & downs of my depression and the numerous meds & their side-effects I know it can be trying to say the least. but I do know that insufficient working meds is still better than no meds at all. for me, it's the difference between living a few feet deep in the dark pit of despair and at the very bottom of it.
>Yes, that's true. I am very afraid of putting myself back at the beginning by tapering off my meds. But I also feel that I don't really know how I genuinely feel anymore. I think this is what my husband is concerned about; that my medications have changed my lifestyle. Taking pills twice a day to approximate a feeling of normality makes me feel rather pathetic.
> perhaps you can stress to your husband that his support is what you need more than anything when it comes to whatever decision you come up with.
>
> take care,
> RenThanks, Ren. I think that if I need to, I'd be able to have my pdoc speak with him.
CS
Posted by ClearSkies on January 2, 2007, at 8:05:45
In reply to Re: My husband doesn't want me to take any medication » ClearSkies, posted by MidnightBlue on January 1, 2007, at 23:24:59
Wow, I'm encouraged to hear about your non-medicated life! I really just want to do what's best for my health in the long term.
Thanks, MB!CS
Posted by antigua on January 2, 2007, at 17:12:27
In reply to My husband doesn't want me to take any medication, posted by ClearSkies on January 1, 2007, at 21:45:24
Hi, my DH gets on this kick, as if my medications make me "high" or something, as if they have replaced the alcohol or something. He doesn't understand that sometimes they make me so tired I can't do anything but sleep. But to him, it's a choice I have. I don't see that right now. Since I've been feeling better, I've thought of cutting back and my Pdoc almost had a fit. He believes I'll be on antidepressants for the rest of my life! We argue about this, and although I'd like to go off them to see how I am, I'm not sure I should risk it now.
But it's such a Catch-22. How do you know when you are really well enough? I certainly don't want to go back to that black hole.
I take my DH to talk to my Pdoc to explain these things because he won't listen to me; like I said, he thinks I use them to get high. What a joke. They make my life bearable.
Also, think about the effects it might have on your recovery. Do you think you would be stable enough to not drink? Just a question, not meant to be hurtful, but if I become unstable, I revert to my oldest coping mechanism--drinking.
Take care,
antigua
Posted by ClearSkies on January 2, 2007, at 19:32:04
In reply to Re: My husband doesn't want me to take any medication » ClearSkies, posted by antigua on January 2, 2007, at 17:12:27
> Also, think about the effects it might have on your recovery. Do you think you would be stable enough to not drink? Just a question, not meant to be hurtful, but if I become unstable, I revert to my oldest coping mechanism--drinking.
>
It terrifies me.
Posted by AuntieMel on January 3, 2007, at 14:54:15
In reply to Re: My husband doesn't want me to take any medica » LJRen, posted by ClearSkies on January 2, 2007, at 8:04:04
"I just don't know if I'm ready to admit to being good and broken and needing to remain on my meds. "
Would you say the same thing if it was insulin you needed? Isn't that part of the stigma? That they are for "mentally" ill people?
I'll happily stay on my meds forever and a day if it keeps me from being like I was.
I think he wants what is best for you and is just as frustrated as you are at your not being "well" {whatever the heck "well" is}
Posted by ClearSkies on January 4, 2007, at 22:52:47
In reply to Re: My husband doesn't want me to take any medica » ClearSkies, posted by AuntieMel on January 3, 2007, at 14:54:15
Yes, you're right, of course. He wants me to feel well, and sees me grappling with side effects that don't reflect my true "nature." Today I sat with my doctor and had it out in the sense of "this med really, really is not working. I don't feel that you are listening to me and my complaints. What can we do about that?"
I cried the whole time, bawled my eyes out paying for the appointment and scheduling a follow up. More from relief of having spoken with her than anything, I think. When I asked whether maybe that Less is More, she looked really peeved. Gotcha!!
Victory was spent lying on the sofa with a purring cat on my head. It was a great reward IMO.
CS
Posted by fayeroe on January 6, 2007, at 12:19:14
In reply to Re: My husband doesn't want me to take any medica » AuntieMel, posted by ClearSkies on January 4, 2007, at 22:52:47
> Yes, you're right, of course. He wants me to feel well, and sees me grappling with side effects that don't reflect my true "nature." Today I sat with my doctor and had it out in the sense of "this med really, really is not working. I don't feel that you are listening to me and my complaints. What can we do about that?"
>
> I cried the whole time, bawled my eyes out paying for the appointment and scheduling a follow up. More from relief of having spoken with her than anything, I think. When I asked whether maybe that Less is More, she looked really peeved. Gotcha!!
>
> Victory was spent lying on the sofa with a purring cat on my head. It was a great reward IMO.
>
> CSi've got it! more purring cats and less meds!!! aren't we lucky when we do have a pet that gives us all of that unconditional love?
>
Posted by ClearSkies on January 7, 2007, at 8:25:53
In reply to Re: My husband doesn't want me to take any medica » ClearSkies, posted by fayeroe on January 6, 2007, at 12:19:14
Posted by fayeroe on January 7, 2007, at 8:57:57
In reply to ((((Our pets)))) (nm), posted by ClearSkies on January 7, 2007, at 8:25:53
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Relationships | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.