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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by TexasChic on December 23, 2006, at 14:42:34
I've been dwelling on this for a while now but couldn't really put it into words. But I guess I'll give it a shot because its really bothering me. I've said before how my depression kept me from living my life for many years, and one of the results of that is I'm a 36 year old women with no dating experience. I feel like I'm starting from the beginning. As a result of this, I find myself being jealous of younger women. I'm talking extememly. It annoys the crap out of me to feel this way, its stupid. But I can't seem to control it. So how do I learn to want my real life rather than what I missed? I know this is a T question, but until I'm able to get to one I'd appreciate some advice. Or maybe just some things that you find/found are better at my age then at 25. Thanks!
-T
Posted by sunnydays on December 23, 2006, at 14:42:37
In reply to Looking for advice..., posted by TexasChic on December 21, 2006, at 19:42:43
I don't know - I'm freaking out because I'm 20 and I have zero, zip, nada dating experience. I have no idea how common it is because no one will talk about it. Good luck.
sunnydays
Posted by TexasChic on December 23, 2006, at 14:42:37
In reply to Re: Looking for advice... » TexasChic, posted by sunnydays on December 21, 2006, at 19:47:47
I'm so jealous of you!!!
;-)
-T
Posted by Farkus on December 23, 2006, at 14:42:37
In reply to Looking for advice..., posted by TexasChic on December 21, 2006, at 19:42:43
I have ten years on you and I'm an old married thing. I do lament over the young bods I see at the gym which isn't really related at all, is it? : )
I do think with my "maturing" years I have gained insight into myself being more aware of my wants and needs, etc. and less willing to put up with some of the cr@p I did when younger. I think that might be an advantage. (?)
Posted by happykat on December 23, 2006, at 14:42:37
In reply to Looking for advice..., posted by TexasChic on December 21, 2006, at 19:42:43
Hi TexasChic,
I know exactly what you're talking about. I am very close to your age, maybe a few years older, not that I'm admitting to it.: )
I too find myself somewhat, o.k.-not somewhat, totally annoyed by younger women. I dated alot when I was much younger but because of some problems (depression too) things dropped off for many years. Then I got back together with an old flame and we've been together for seven years.
He's pushing 50 but loves to look at younger women which thoroughly pisses me off! :( I am sometimes petty and jealous and not above admitting it.
I have heard from other friends that men are useless between 40-50 years of age. They say go for either someone younger or older. Personally I would look for mid twenties if I wanted hot sex or mid fifties and up for life partner and companionship. I've had a number of friends who met people on the internet through dating services.
Some things that are better at my age include, having more money, more sense (at least I think so), lower threshold for bullsh*t, with the help of therapy I'm starting to actually inhabit my body (wish that could have happened years ago!), and I really do think I have a better handle on who I am and what I want. I also have an incredible career which I discovered past the age of 35.
I guarantee you that your real life is better than the imagined life you think you missed. My youth was filled with dates that were mostly awkward and forgettable. And the ones that weren't, I sometimes wish were.
Sometimes I am ambivalent about the fact that I'm just now getting a handle on my life. But, hey, better late than never as my t keep's telling me.
My parting thought: Just remember that 40 is the new 30!!!! So that makes you 26. You're still a young pup! : )
Regards,
happykat
Posted by DannaB on December 23, 2006, at 14:42:37
In reply to Looking for advice..., posted by TexasChic on December 21, 2006, at 19:42:43
Hi TexasChic,
Here are a couple of things to think about. First, many people who marry young are getting divorced around your age and are in the same position as you--inexperienced--except in addition to that they are divorced!
Second, it can help to remind ourselves that the grass is always greener on the other side. I was very inexperienced when I met my ex. Eventually we broke up, in large part because I wanted dating experience. Well, what dating taught me is how hard it is to meet Mr. Right...and that maybe I had had him all along. I'm glad for some of the lessons I learned along the way, but I can also tell you that I had many tough and lonely times...all because I wanted to live some sort of exciting single life. So, remember, for every plus there is a minus.
Posted by TexasChic on December 23, 2006, at 14:42:37
In reply to Re: Looking for advice..., posted by DannaB on December 22, 2006, at 0:01:55
Thanks you guys! Your words mean alot to me. I cracked up with your last line Happyat!
But what you both say is true. I'm smarter and happier with myself than I've ever been. And my career hasn't taken off until now. I guess the lesson is to learn to be happy with what you've got. But its still hard not to wish you had it all. Maybe once I start really participating in my life it will be better.
-T
Posted by MidnightBlue on December 23, 2006, at 14:42:37
In reply to Re: Looking for advice..., posted by TexasChic on December 22, 2006, at 19:22:43
No one really has it all. It just looks like they do.
MB
Posted by Jay on December 24, 2006, at 1:14:29
In reply to Re: Looking for advice... » TexasChic, posted by happykat on December 21, 2006, at 21:31:12
> I have heard from other friends that men are useless between 40-50 years of age. They say go for either someone younger or older.
>
>Ugghhh...sorry but methinks you heard *very* wrong. ;-) I am pushing fourty...many friends who are in forties...brother is 44..we have about 50 times the confidence and knowledge/wisdom any 20 something year old has. :P "Old enough not to care to much...about what you think of me...and young enough to remember the future..the way things oughta be..:-)" Cut...to...the....chase...
Posted by Netch on December 24, 2006, at 8:51:28
In reply to Re: Looking for advice... » happykat, posted by Jay on December 24, 2006, at 1:14:29
Sounds like you are still suffering from partial symptoms of depression; irritation and passive aggression.
One thing that will reduce these symptoms is fish oil supplement. It improves impulse control and reduces inner tension.Studies have shown that fish oil improves the effect of SSRI.
Posted by TexasChic on December 24, 2006, at 10:32:58
In reply to Re: Looking for advice..., posted by Netch on December 24, 2006, at 8:51:28
Umm, huh?
Posted by TexasChic on December 24, 2006, at 10:43:05
In reply to Re: Looking for advice... » happykat, posted by Jay on December 24, 2006, at 1:14:29
> > I have heard from other friends that men are useless between 40-50 years of age. They say go for either someone younger or older.
> >
> >
>
> Ugghhh...sorry but methinks you heard *very* wrong. ;-) I am pushing fourty...many friends who are in forties...brother is 44..we have about 50 times the confidence and knowledge/wisdom any 20 something year old has. :P "Old enough not to care to much...about what you think of me...and young enough to remember the future..the way things oughta be..:-)" Cut...to...the....chase...Hey, I'm pretty sure we're the same age, which is NOT pushing 40!!! ;-)
As far as whether or not dating men between 40-50 is a good idea, well, people say I look like I'm in my 20's, so I win either Happycat's or Jay's way! But I don't know, although I could date someone my age just fine, I feel like it would be weird to date someone in their 50's. I just can't imagine that. But like we've discussed before, this is just speculation and you never know who you'll fall for. It could be the exact opposite of what you think! My motto is to always keep an open mind.
-T
Posted by fayeroe on December 30, 2006, at 19:55:56
In reply to Re: Looking for advice... » Jay, posted by TexasChic on December 24, 2006, at 10:43:05
i date someone 10 years younger than myself. his mother was 9 when i was born......
This is the end of the thread.
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