Psycho-Babble Relationships Thread 693906

Shown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

when do you say I love you

Posted by eugenia on October 11, 2006, at 17:24:50

I have been dating a guy for almost six months and he doesn't even sign his email "love". Has never said he loves me, nor have I said I love him. To make everything more confusing and upsetting, I don't know whether I do love him. I have no fuzzy, warm feelings really. But I am scared of being alone and he is a good guy in many ways and I am not getting any younger, as the saying goes.
Any commentary, advice, opinions?

 

Re: when do you say I love you » eugenia

Posted by Wildflower on October 11, 2006, at 20:06:30

In reply to when do you say I love you, posted by eugenia on October 11, 2006, at 17:24:50

This is always such a tough call. For me, I let the guy say the "L" word first and even then I feel strange saying it. In my case, my parents were not affectionate with words or actions so I'm uncomfortable with sharing my feelings. Your guy could have been raised the same.

Have you told him that you have strong feelings for him but not used the "L" word?

I wouldn't worry about him not signing his emails with "Love". Some people are just not comfortable with doing that.

 

Re: when do you say I love you

Posted by Phillipa on October 11, 2006, at 21:53:59

In reply to Re: when do you say I love you » eugenia, posted by Wildflower on October 11, 2006, at 20:06:30

But she said she doesn't feel warm and fuzzy getting desperate. Not a good reason for a relationship with this guy. Love Phillipa

 

Re: when do you say I love you

Posted by eugenia on October 12, 2006, at 9:10:02

In reply to Re: when do you say I love you, posted by Phillipa on October 11, 2006, at 21:53:59

Thanks for your replies guys!
How do you know when someone is right for you? Do you just feel it? Would I be so tortured if I knew that he was "right"? The guy I feel most love for is in NYC, and he is kind of physically unappealing to me, but I am thinking that I might be putting too much emphasis on that.
Any experiences anyone could share?

 

Re: when do you say I love you » eugenia

Posted by Wildflower on October 12, 2006, at 17:51:46

In reply to Re: when do you say I love you, posted by eugenia on October 12, 2006, at 9:10:02

> He is kind of physically unappealing to me, but I am thinking that I might be putting too much emphasis on that. Any experiences anyone could share?

Yes, I do. My whole life, I dated men who were physically attractive to me. This all changed about six years ago when I met my ex.

To me, he was never someone that I could get attached to but he had a very fun personality and we clicked. In fact, I remember having this same looks vs. personality conversation with some of my friends. They convinced me to get over my need for an a physically attractive man and give him a chance. They were right.

I guess what I'm trying to say is give him a chance - if you haven't already. Sometimes people can suprise you. However, if the thought of a physical relationship with him repulses you, it may be wise to reconsider your options.

 

Re: when do you say I love you

Posted by Phillipa on October 12, 2006, at 19:30:04

In reply to Re: when do you say I love you » eugenia, posted by Wildflower on October 12, 2006, at 17:51:46

It's what's between the ears that really counts. Beauty is only skin deep. I prefer someone who cares, is kind, thoughtful, and worships me. Love Phillipa ps where is my husband he needs to read this


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