![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Wildflower on October 9, 2006, at 16:42:46
After much debate, I decided to join an online dating service. I've been communicating with someone who admitted to hating people who are depressed and lack self esteem. I suffer from both of those things. Would it be wrong to continue the conversation hoping that I'll get better one day?
Posted by alexandra_k on October 10, 2006, at 7:53:08
In reply to Online Dating, posted by Wildflower on October 9, 2006, at 16:42:46
Why does he hate them?
Could you ask him?
Could you ask him 'how would you feel if I told you that I had suffered from those in the past'?
If he doesn't understand / have sympathy then...
Maybe he isn't right for you anyways.
Posted by Jost on October 10, 2006, at 21:12:47
In reply to Re: Online Dating, posted by alexandra_k on October 10, 2006, at 7:53:08
I personally wouldn't continue the conversation. Not that that means you shouldn't, but that would offend me personally. And, to be honest, that's not a very humane attitude.
Does the guy seem sensitive and humane? Even when you feel better, everyone has down moments. And you'll have a history of depression, which he probably will know about- and perhaps some times when you're prone to some feelings of regret, etc.
When people say what that guy said, I wonder: do they mean they don't have much patience for people's sadness, sense of loss, reflectiveness or other times when they aren't in such a great mood? I mean, it sounds that way.
You could feel out what he meant. But "Hates" is an awfully strong word.
Jost
Posted by Declan on October 11, 2006, at 14:42:07
In reply to Online Dating, posted by Wildflower on October 9, 2006, at 16:42:46
You want my opinion? I'd just tell him to bugger off and that my standards were higher than that, if I were you.
You want him to be able to be nice to you now.
Posted by Wildflower on October 11, 2006, at 20:00:05
In reply to Re: Online Dating, posted by Jost on October 10, 2006, at 21:12:47
The way the site is setup, I need to answer questions with preselected answers. There is not an opportunity to ask for clarification. The site gave us both a list of 40 or so traits to choose from as things that one "Must Have" in a relationship and those that one "Cannot Stand/Hate". It just amazes me that out a list of things for him to select including: infidelity, lying, additions, etc., he chose that he cannot stand depression and low self esteem. I think I'll be closing this online communication with him.
Posted by Declan on October 12, 2006, at 12:42:35
In reply to Re: Online Dating, posted by Wildflower on October 11, 2006, at 20:00:05
Once people covered these things up better and at least felt obliged to pretend (what I understood to be) Christian values. It wasn't perfect.
Maybe a bit of the current group mind just schlupped into this poor bloke's head? Doesn't mean it has to schlupp into yours though.
Posted by elanor roosevelt on October 23, 2006, at 21:27:30
In reply to Re: Online Dating, posted by Wildflower on October 11, 2006, at 20:00:05
> The way the site is setup, I need to answer questions with preselected answers. There is not an opportunity to ask for clarification. The site gave us both a list of 40 or so traits to choose from as things that one "Must Have" in a relationship and those that one "Cannot Stand/Hate". It just amazes me that out a list of things for him to select including: infidelity, lying, additions, etc., he chose that he cannot stand depression and low self esteem. I think I'll be closing this online communication with him.
why don't those lists ever include "arrogant a**holes?
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Relationships | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.