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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on July 26, 2006, at 23:00:37
Last time I met with people too soon and I got scared and uncomfortable. This time I'm planning on e-mailing each other for a long time before even thinking of meeting.
I was thinking that it would be really great if I could find someone to go stargazing with me.
My Mom will be happy that I'm trying to meet people. She really doesn't want me to be alone in old age.
Wish me luck in finding someone.
I think I will have lots of love for Bob regardless of whether or not I find a friend.
Deneb*
Posted by Phillipa on July 26, 2006, at 23:00:37
In reply to I'm trying the online dating thing again, posted by Deneb on July 13, 2006, at 17:24:01
Deneb why not join some clubs where people have the same interests as you. Or volunteer. And find a therapist who may be able to steer you toward some groups. Love Phillipa
Posted by Kath on July 26, 2006, at 23:00:38
In reply to I'm trying the online dating thing again, posted by Deneb on July 13, 2006, at 17:24:01
Great Idea!
Stargazing - how nice.
My daughter (30) met a wonderful man on a dating site.
They emailed for a LONG time, then graduated to a phone call! Big deal for both of them. Then they talked on the phone for a LONG time, then camcorder!
Then finally met.
They are a wonderful couple & plan to spend the rest of their lives together!!
I also know at least 3 couples who are happily married who met on dating sites.
Good luck and I'd suggest GO SLOWWWWWWWWW :-))
Kath
Posted by cloudydaze on July 26, 2006, at 23:00:38
In reply to Re: I'm trying the online dating thing again » Deneb, posted by Kath on July 18, 2006, at 12:18:17
I met my bf on the internet, but it was a community of message boards, not a dating site. Actually what brought us together was that we were both depressed...
We emailed for 6 months, and became best friends. Then he finally persuaded me to call him, and we talked on the phone every night for like 3 hours...long distance bills were really expensive! Finally, we set up a blind date (niether of us had seen pictures of each other, and we didn't care...) on August 9th 2002 - and have been together ever since.
Until Last summer, we had a long distance relationship (he lived 6 hours away). He came to visit 2 weekends every month, and we ended up missing each other a lot. Last summer, he moved in with me :)
Internet dating is infinately dangerous, so exercise caution. Like I said, i got to know my man for 6 months before we even spoke....but when it came time to meet him in person, i had my mom come along just to make sure he wasn't a scary weirdo....of course, when i realized he wasn't, i made her leave...lol
If you're gonna date on the internet, it's a good idea to talk to them awhile, and when you meet, make it a well lit, crowded area...we met in a restarant for our first date...i felt it would be safer than a dark alley....heh.
> Great Idea!
>
> Stargazing - how nice.
>
> My daughter (30) met a wonderful man on a dating site.
>
> They emailed for a LONG time, then graduated to a phone call! Big deal for both of them. Then they talked on the phone for a LONG time, then camcorder!
>
> Then finally met.
>
> They are a wonderful couple & plan to spend the rest of their lives together!!
>
> I also know at least 3 couples who are happily married who met on dating sites.
>
> Good luck and I'd suggest GO SLOWWWWWWWWW :-))
>
> Kath
Posted by Kath on July 26, 2006, at 23:00:38
In reply to Re: I'm trying the online dating thing again, posted by cloudydaze on July 18, 2006, at 19:03:13
How lovely that it worked out for you & your BF.
Your advice sounds very wise!
6 hours - I thought my daughters was far away at 3 hours!
take care, Kath
Posted by Deneb on July 26, 2006, at 23:00:38
In reply to Re: I'm trying the online dating thing again, posted by cloudydaze on July 18, 2006, at 19:03:13
I'm happy things worked out for you. :-)
I'm beginning to hate replying to the people who messaged me. I don't think I'm ready for a relationship yet. Having to message them is really annoying me. I'm guessing I should be enjoying it? I dunno, maybe relationships aren't meant for me. Maybe my love for Bob is the best I can hope for.
Deneb*
Posted by cloudydaze on July 26, 2006, at 23:00:38
In reply to Re: I'm trying the online dating thing again » cloudydaze, posted by Deneb on July 20, 2006, at 23:06:12
You shouldnt do it if you dont enjoy it.
Maybe it's just not a good time for you right now? Maybe it would be easier to just be friends with someone first?
Online dating is tricky. I don't like most sites, because I think people use them for casual hook ups (sex) more than actual dating & relationships...some sites are different though.
> I'm happy things worked out for you. :-)
>
> I'm beginning to hate replying to the people who messaged me. I don't think I'm ready for a relationship yet. Having to message them is really annoying me. I'm guessing I should be enjoying it? I dunno, maybe relationships aren't meant for me. Maybe my love for Bob is the best I can hope for.
>
> Deneb*
Posted by Kath on July 26, 2006, at 23:01:33
In reply to Re: I'm trying the online dating thing again » cloudydaze, posted by Deneb on July 20, 2006, at 23:06:12
You know what - I was friends with my now-husband first & in my opinion THAT is the way to go. It's a really good solid base for romance & that way, when the fireworks settle down in a relationship (and that WILL happen eventually, I think, as Life steps in) you have this wonderful friendship in place!
I think a good way to meet people is in a group of like-minded people - like a photo club or hiking group, or whatever you're interested in. If you don't know what you're interested in, a lot of communities have booklets of activities available in that community.
Deneb, didn't you mention a boyfriend in one post?
Kath
Posted by Deneb on July 26, 2006, at 23:01:33
In reply to Re: I'm trying the online dating thing again » Deneb, posted by Kath on July 21, 2006, at 14:34:48
I'm beginning to think this is not a good time to look for a boyfriend. I've had one bf in my life and I didn't really enjoy it. I don't know if maybe it was just because he wasn't right for me or what.
I wish I could feel something as intense as Bob love for someone, but it's never happened before.
Bob love is special. :-)
Posted by Kath on July 26, 2006, at 23:01:33
In reply to Re: I'm trying the online dating thing again, posted by Deneb on July 21, 2006, at 20:57:14
Hey Deneb,
perhaps you're right & it's not the time. Maybe it's not the time to LOOK for a boyfriend.
The fact that you're capable of strong feelings of love is great! It means you CAN feel that strongly & guess what - if you can feel that once you can feel it again....or other versions of that love.
:-)) Kath
PS - I wonder if finding love is like shopping?
If I go LOOKING for a dress - or for whatEVER, I hardly EVER find something.
On the other hand, if I'm poking through stores NOT looking for anything in particular, or maybe not having any money to spend anyhow - THAT's when I'll see all kinds of stuff I'd like to buy. Maybe actually looking for something puts up a screen around us. Just a wonder.
K
Posted by cloudydaze on July 26, 2006, at 23:01:33
In reply to Is finding love like shopping for a dress!!!??? » Deneb, posted by Kath on July 23, 2006, at 13:48:36
> PS - I wonder if finding love is like shopping?
> If I go LOOKING for a dress - or for whatEVER, I hardly EVER find something.
> On the other hand, if I'm poking through stores NOT looking for anything in particular, or maybe not having any money to spend anyhow - THAT's when I'll see all kinds of stuff I'd like to buy. Maybe actually looking for something puts up a screen around us. Just a wonder.
> K
Yes, i think it IS like that. The minute I stop looking, I find someone :)
Posted by Joan797 on July 27, 2006, at 8:20:59
In reply to I'm trying the online dating thing again, posted by Deneb on July 13, 2006, at 17:24:01
I am married, but I met and fell in love with someone online. He lived 1000 miles away. After a few months I told him I could talk to him anymore because I was in love with him and since I was married and not able to leave my current situation I had to end it. After begging and begging on his part to continue the "affair" I did continue it. I found that talking to someone online, or on the phone gave insight into who that person really was. After 3 1/2 years we finally met. I sent him money to come see me. Yes, we had sex, yes it was beautiful for me, yes I was more in love than ever. Yes, I was finally ready to move out and get a divorce. After he went back home, immediately after, he was less available on the phone. Within 4 weeks he had added his picture on his online profile, and updated his information. As if he was shopping again. Soon the calls stopped, the online messages stopped and I didn't hear from him for months. Eventually, I found out (the hard way) that he had moved a woman into his home weeks after he was with me. According to him, after meeting me, he realized that "he would never have me" which is bull sh*t. I have talked to his live in a few times and found out that I was not the only one. There were others that were promissed the moon, others besides me. Others who fell for pretty words, etc.
I guess I told you that, to tell you this.
People can present themselves any way they want to. Online and in person. But it seems that online is such an easy way to be "beautiful, wonderful, loving" and it's not always the real person.If you met someone at the grocery store, work, or a club........you have a chance to get a first impression that might be more realistic than a first meeting online.
However, my mom always said that my dad didn't turn into an *sshole until after they were married.
Anyway, think about what you want and need. Do what's right for you.
Joan
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