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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 22 of 22. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by trucker on April 6, 2006, at 18:24:37
i am at a loss, hubby and i were fine and he woke up and wanted a divorce the next morning. any ideas on why? he won't tell me anything but he wants to be alone.... and he is a trucker and is always alone
trucker
Posted by SixSecrets on April 10, 2006, at 15:08:12
In reply to when hubby wakes and wants a divorce out of blue, posted by trucker on April 6, 2006, at 18:24:37
Hmmm...truckers are a funny breed...is he OTR a lot? You two should talk or see someone. There's a possibility that he has been wanting a divorce for a long time...there's the possibility he has someone on the side...there's the possibility he feels guilty leaving YOU alone for great periods of time (if he is an OTR trucker)...it seems rather odd though that he would suggest/request a divorce right out of the blue...there has to be something more to it.
Posted by trucker on April 10, 2006, at 16:12:29
In reply to Re: when hubby wakes and wants a divorce out of blue, posted by SixSecrets on April 10, 2006, at 15:08:12
yes there is more to it. i think there is someone else, certain statements about "why don't i ever where shorts" ITS WINTER! and i am sure he was being decetful and he has all my money.. to the tune of $500,000.00 injury, ssdi, and the sale of my house.. he has the paid for 18 wheeler.
now i don't really . like to share this... but he said he is tired of suffering for my "childhood" i was raped at three years old.. he thinks that is why sex is less since we filed bankruptcy, and started having bill collectors calling and harrassing me. when this girl is stressed... that thing down there don't work easily!!! before that ... he had more than he could handle...
so in essence.. i am being violated now (divorced) because i was victumized and violated at three years old...
he is starting to make noises about wanting to come back... SORRY!! i couldn't do much about the violation i received as a baby... but that won't happen again.. i a fighter and thru REM therapy.. i am more whole and in control of my life than i have been since the death/still birth of my son michael gordon.
he is a sneak and i am FREE!!!!!!!
with each day of him hanging around me trying to worm his way back into my life and heart... i am getting stronger and stronger and am looking forward to freedom and a fresh new start. my baby died in this house, i wanted a fresh new start... i guess i will have a fresh new start....
GOD IS GOOD!!!
trucker
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////> Hmmm...truckers are a funny breed...is he OTR a lot? You two should talk or see someone. There's a possibility that he has been wanting a divorce for a long time...there's the possibility he has someone on the side...there's the possibility he feels guilty leaving YOU alone for great periods of time (if he is an OTR trucker)...it seems rather odd though that he would suggest/request a divorce right out of the blue...there has to be something more to it.
>
Posted by 10derHeart on April 10, 2006, at 18:35:13
In reply to Re: when hubby wakes and wants a divorce out of blue » SixSecrets, posted by trucker on April 10, 2006, at 16:12:29
Posted by trucker on April 10, 2006, at 21:33:25
In reply to **csa trigger above** (nm), posted by 10derHeart on April 10, 2006, at 18:35:13
what does that mean???
are you like saying i am doing something wrong?? i don't understand, the csa trigger above..what does that mean??
trucker
Posted by gardenergirl on April 10, 2006, at 22:26:10
In reply to Re: **csa trigger above**, posted by trucker on April 10, 2006, at 21:33:25
You're not doing anything wrong, trucker. 10derheart just posted that to give a friendly heads-up to anyone who might be sensitive to reading about childhood sexual abuse, so they can avoid it if they aren't up to it. So they can avoid being "triggered" by a topic that might be upsetting to them.
gg
Posted by special_k on April 11, 2006, at 4:50:11
In reply to Re: **csa trigger above** » trucker, posted by gardenergirl on April 10, 2006, at 22:26:10
er...
and it is easier to label than to say something supportive? IMHO if you are going to trigger warn someone's post it is kinda nice to support them in some way (precisely so they don't think they have done anything wrong)
you haven't done anything wrong.
i'm sorry you have had such a crap experience and that such a crap experience is happening now.
if he really does want a divorce... then if you put the money into the truck you should get the truck. really.
do you guys have any kids?
it he just whining or do you think that this might really go through?
maybe... if he isn't all that supportive... maybe... you'd be better off without him?
might have a chance of meeting some nice sensitive guy...
i dunno what to say.
sorry.
Posted by trucker on April 11, 2006, at 7:54:46
In reply to Re: **csa trigger above** » trucker, posted by gardenergirl on April 10, 2006, at 22:26:10
i wasn't sure i thought i was being treated like one of the old posters who liked to hurt herself.. and i didn't want routed in that group
thanks for the reply.
trucker
////////////////////////////////////////////////////> You're not doing anything wrong, trucker. 10derheart just posted that to give a friendly heads-up to anyone who might be sensitive to reading about childhood sexual abuse, so they can avoid it if they aren't up to it. So they can avoid being "triggered" by a topic that might be upsetting to them.
>
> gg
Posted by special_k on April 11, 2006, at 8:04:12
In reply to **csa trigger above** (nm), posted by 10derHeart on April 10, 2006, at 18:35:13
i wasn't helping...
Posted by trucker on April 11, 2006, at 8:09:39
In reply to Re: trucker..., posted by special_k on April 11, 2006, at 4:50:11
i am doing much better today and each day. REM is good and i recommend it to everybody. i got more help in two visits, than 7 years of counsol did..
i told hubby that he is violating me because i was violated and he is the lowest form of person there is, to abuse me because i was abused.the LORD will bless him well.
trucker
Posted by trucker on April 11, 2006, at 8:19:48
In reply to Re: trucker..., posted by special_k on April 11, 2006, at 4:50:11
i think ten fold will return to him... i know my life will be much better than it has been in fourteen years. i think he has been my depression, anxiety problem for a long time i just didn't want to do to him... like he is to me... my only child was born dead.. i am glad he is in heaven.. he doesn't have to go thru this violatation. i am glad he isn't suffering. this will go thru... 20 days... and it is uncontested.... thank you for the support...
trucker
Posted by trucker on April 11, 2006, at 8:21:37
In reply to Re: sorry guys..., posted by special_k on April 11, 2006, at 8:04:12
bless you.. we thought you were helping
trucker/////////////////////////////////////////////////////> i wasn't helping...
Posted by special_k on April 11, 2006, at 8:41:33
In reply to Re: sorry guys..., posted by trucker on April 11, 2006, at 8:21:37
bless you...
i worried i wasn't.
hugs for you if you would like themm.
Posted by Joan797 on April 11, 2006, at 8:58:17
In reply to when hubby wakes and wants a divorce out of blue, posted by trucker on April 6, 2006, at 18:24:37
Sometimes it's easier to just quite cold turkey. I find myself that way. Sometimes talking about things, and discussing the were's and why's is too hard and we as humans tend to take the easy road and just say "I'm done" and nothing else. That way we somehow think that it is easier for both, but actually it's only easier for us.
I know this may sound harsh and cruel, but it sounds like there is more going on here, way more. You may not know what it is, but it's way more than he's telling you obviously. Could be another woman, could be he's tired or afraid of something about you. Your mental status or appearance. I'm afraid I'm going to start bashing him because he is a man, but here goes. Men, some men, have this mental image of what a woman is supposed to look like, and be like, and yadda yadda yadda.......and eventually they start resenting their wives and girlfriends for not living up to that image. I don't know, I think women do that to some.
My situation is so different, it's hard to relate. I often fantasize about my husband asking me for a divorce so I can begin living. But it isn't going to happen. There has come a point where nothing about him appeals to me, and I'm not talking about looks, but after 20 years, he disgusts me in so many ways. Slobery, unkeptness, the way he clears his throat constantly, the way he eats and gets food on his mustach (there used to be a beard that was way grosser)..........etc etc.......things that were tolerated in the beginning are grating on my nerves. I have lost respect. And then of course I have gotten fat again, and I don't feel attractive and the fact that he still wants to have sex with me makes me want to gag. I wouldn't want to have sex with me, why does he??
No romantic weekend for two is going to cure my situation I'm afraid.
Okay, having said that, I am in no way suggesting that you have become a fat unkept slob who is unworthy of your husband. I'm giving you my scenario. It really seems like there is more to the story though.
I am sorry that this has hit you out of the blue, I realize you are hurt by this. I guess really, I am jealous of your ability to start a new life without a man.
Okay, that was no help.
Perhaps you should go to social and read my post on body butter. Body butter can cure all, if only temporarily.
Joan
Posted by trucker on April 11, 2006, at 12:40:27
In reply to Re: Sometimes » trucker, posted by Joan797 on April 11, 2006, at 8:58:17
as the days pass.. i realoze i am looking forward to being free.. he isn't worthy of me and is most of my problem.. ya know when you are mentally ill you affect those around you.. and make them ill too. i am free and i think i will be.. he realizes what he lost and now is trying to come back.. like i told him.. he kicked me to the curb like trash... (i begged, pleaded etc)... none the less the garbage man came to get the trash (i cried and pleaded etc..) the trash was picked up and taken too the dump (i realized that he is doing me a real favor) now he is coming back looking for that trash.... ME... thinks he can come back and visit me, and call me, and etc... trash been picked up already, and took to the dump... SORRY!
trucker
Posted by trucker on April 11, 2006, at 12:41:43
In reply to Re: sorry guys..., posted by special_k on April 11, 2006, at 8:41:33
thanks
Posted by Joan797 on April 13, 2006, at 0:13:25
In reply to Re: Sometimes » Joan797, posted by trucker on April 11, 2006, at 12:40:27
Sounds like you are on the road to a happier life. Be careful of the downslide. Things might get lonely and you might become vulnerable. Keep your attitute, spirit, and self appreciation on the upslide and I think you will find out you are better off as you already say.
Joan
Posted by trucker on April 13, 2006, at 6:56:01
In reply to Re: Sometimes » trucker, posted by Joan797 on April 13, 2006, at 0:13:25
thanks.. before i saw him once every two months... and like i been telling everyone who asks "before i was alone and had a paper.. (that says i am married..) now i am just alone (with out a paper!)" this is his sin .. not mine. i am free. and i am not on any medication... and i am feeling pretty good. i don't have to wait and be faithful for something that never comes home. i am in my prime and need a companion.
and like one of the other poster said.. i am envious of you.. i am envious of me too.. finally after 14 years.. i am free. free to have a new life with myself or include someone else. i at least know i can trust me..
thanks
trucker
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////> Sounds like you are on the road to a happier life. Be careful of the downslide. Things might get lonely and you might become vulnerable. Keep your attitute, spirit, and self appreciation on the upslide and I think you will find out you are better off as you already say.
>
> Joan
Posted by gardenergirl on April 25, 2006, at 9:27:05
In reply to Re: Sometimes » Joan797, posted by trucker on April 13, 2006, at 6:56:01
I hope you're doing okay, all things considered.
gg
Posted by TRUCKER on April 25, 2006, at 12:14:29
In reply to Trucker, thinking of you » trucker, posted by gardenergirl on April 25, 2006, at 9:27:05
well i am in north carolina now.. had to leave sooner than i planned.. hubby broke into the house when i was napping and brought the guy who bought the house INTO MY BEDROOM WHILE I LAY THERE ASLEEP!! i felt violated and very uncomfortable..
so i left new york state about three weeks early. i got here easter morning at 2:30 am and at 5pm my beagle died from heat stroke. it was about 40 degrees in ny when we left and down here it was 96 on easter.. she just gave out.. oi currently have this anger.. i wish i could pop him in the mouth.. i know i am better off.. but he got all his bils paid and i am disabled and have no money.. he got all tolled $275,000.00 from the house, $17,500.00 from ssdi, and $225,000.00 of my injury money. all i got was took!
i know there is life after hubby, but i sure wish it didn't take so long to get from point A to B. i don't miss him i just miss the idea of financial freedom that was the reason i sold my house to pay the bills, so ther would be financial freedom and time together.. ha ha ha... i am such a sucker.. i fall for EVERYBODY'S crap.
men and woman alike, so called friends too.
it will get better..
thanks for wondering...
trucker
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////> I hope you're doing okay, all things considered.
>
> gg
Posted by gardenergirl on April 25, 2006, at 12:35:41
In reply to Re: Trucker, thinking of you » gardenergirl, posted by TRUCKER on April 25, 2006, at 12:14:29
I'm so sorry about your dog. There's never a good time for that, but it sounds like now is a particularly bad time.
Thanks for checking in.
gg
Posted by TRUCKER on April 25, 2006, at 20:20:35
In reply to Re: Trucker, thinking of you » TRUCKER, posted by gardenergirl on April 25, 2006, at 12:35:41
I AM USE TO IT. my life has been a book of this type of stuff, numb is the word... thanks for checking.
trucker
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////> I'm so sorry about your dog. There's never a good time for that, but it sounds like now is a particularly bad time.
>
> Thanks for checking in.
>
> gg
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