![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by sm100378 on March 9, 2006, at 16:37:03
I want to share my story about my recent break up. It is really hurting inside.
We were going out for 2 months. We cooked, ate, tv, shopping together. It was perfect we could be together for x number of times a week and not have any problems. Last saturday afternoon, she called and said we have to talk. She said she thinks we shouldnt see each other anymore. I was so hurt to hear that.
Please keep in mind we dated last summer for 2 months. We talked on and off and then one evening I said I like seeing you casually its fun, but sometimes I just cant do this because I am not with you. Then in the morning she said my name, and then said I want to try this but you cant react like you did if this doesnt work. I had a really hard time with the first break up and it took some bit of time. Now in the beginning, One week later she says she really likes how this is going, she is going to see me exclusively. Then everything is good until saturday. She said I didnt force her, but pushed her into this. I mentioned the conversation above discussed in the morning before we got together, and she couldnt give me a response. She just said my name and I have to go. And she HUNG UP ON ME. She did this the first time as well.
Now, what is really hard is I am working for her dad and this is my 3rd week with him. It is so hard and weird I am working for him. I know he is in an awkward position. We only talked about it once and thats it, but he sees it is rough.
My therapist says she suffers from narcassistic personality disorder because of the cold, harsh, pushing blame, hurting me with no warning and just like the second time.
Posted by sm100378 on March 9, 2006, at 19:04:47
In reply to FEELING SOOO SAD., posted by sm100378 on March 9, 2006, at 16:37:03
Just to fill in the edges.....
We had so much fun together. We would sleep over often, snuggle and watch movies and sopranos dvds, american idol, and lots of touching moments. She said my name and then said if we end up living with each other, you have to put the lid suctioned to the bowl of the tupperware, because I only put it on, not on with a burp. That really touched me.
She would sit on the seat in the fitting room and tell me what looks good. Over time the last two months, I have accumulated a new wardrobe and have gotten rid of older clothing that was too big so her face is all over my room.
I caved in yesterday and emailed her "I miss you" but she did not respond. I told my therapist it is like someone took a memory chip out of her head because this was so instant, like a snap. 11 days ago we had a couples massage at a local spa and we held hands in the room before and just stared into each others eyes. We had a nice lunch before with good conversation and everthing was perfect. Wednesday I wasnt intending on sleeping over but when I walked downstairs (she was doing laundry), she said "no, dont go....please dont go". I felt so in love with her when she said that, and being around her as much as we have.
It was last week she wanted to take a trip to CA and MA. I had dinner at her parents house less than two weeks ago with family friends of her parents and she warned me about getting questioned......It was great.
Now I am all alone. I feel miserable. I saw my therapist twice this week. She is so wonderful and great to be around when she is healthy, but she also has a very dark side, cold side....a side that I dont know that she realizes. She is also a sex addict and drinks alot. She doesnt really dabble with relationships, only casual encounters. She told me it was going well for her. I asked when the sudden change on the phone and she said that is not important. I have no facts as to what happened. She says she doesnt see us together in 2, 4 months, 1 year.....She said this has been in the front of her head and never left and that she should have known better this wouldnt have worked. I cant BELIEVE she said this because the last two months were so wonderful....and her showing affection, and then suddenly it is all over.I dont even know what to do at this point.
Posted by sm100378 on March 10, 2006, at 16:06:28
In reply to Re: FEELING SOOO SAD., posted by sm100378 on March 9, 2006, at 19:04:47
Hello,
If it isnt any trouble, could someone respond to my horrible story. I'm sorry, I am just looking for some support. I appreciate it.
Thanks,
Posted by Tanzanite on March 10, 2006, at 23:34:24
In reply to Re: FEELING SOOO SAD., posted by sm100378 on March 10, 2006, at 16:06:28
I don't know about narcissicistic personality disorder with her, and truthfully she could have any of many disorders which really couldn't be figured out with the help of a trained professional. It has been my experience and understanding that some folks who say they want a casual relationship and don't want to be in a commitment will experiment, act all interested, do and say sweet things to make you feel like you are loved, and then all of a sudden up and disappear. Sometimes they will come back, just to leave again almost like it is a game. I think it is hurtful for someone to do this type thing. I feel very sorry that you have had to go through this and even worse for you that you are in the predicament with your job. I guess deciding if staying there would be good for you or not will have to be something you seriously think about. As far as for getting into a serious relationship, if she wants to come back into your life, be careful for your own emotional well being. I wish I could say more. I have had my own fair share of interesting relationship problems with my own husband. Maybe being friends with her if she decides to come back around would be a good idea instead and take your time and see how things go without getting too deep. Whatever happens, I hope you will feel better with all this soon. Peace and blessings
Tanzanite
Posted by Tanzanite on March 10, 2006, at 23:36:48
In reply to Re: FEELING SOOO SAD. » sm100378, posted by Tanzanite on March 10, 2006, at 23:34:24
Just to add. This does not mean she doesn't have feelings for you. She may be going through her own emotional confusion and may be getting scared. Just another perspective. Good luck.
Tanzanite
Posted by sm100378 on March 10, 2006, at 23:37:50
In reply to Re: FEELING SOOO SAD. » sm100378, posted by Tanzanite on March 10, 2006, at 23:34:24
Thank you, I appreciate that. I was wondering if you happen to know of any URL's or info on why people do this. I am trying to figure out the "Why"....
Thanks
> I don't know about narcissicistic personality disorder with her, and truthfully she could have any of many disorders which really couldn't be figured out with the help of a trained professional. It has been my experience and understanding that some folks who say they want a casual relationship and don't want to be in a commitment will experiment, act all interested, do and say sweet things to make you feel like you are loved, and then all of a sudden up and disappear. Sometimes they will come back, just to leave again almost like it is a game. I think it is hurtful for someone to do this type thing. I feel very sorry that you have had to go through this and even worse for you that you are in the predicament with your job. I guess deciding if staying there would be good for you or not will have to be something you seriously think about. As far as for getting into a serious relationship, if she wants to come back into your life, be careful for your own emotional well being. I wish I could say more. I have had my own fair share of interesting relationship problems with my own husband. Maybe being friends with her if she decides to come back around would be a good idea instead and take your time and see how things go without getting too deep. Whatever happens, I hope you will feel better with all this soon. Peace and blessings
> Tanzanite
Posted by Tanzanite on March 11, 2006, at 11:36:28
In reply to Re: FEELING SOOO SAD., posted by sm100378 on March 10, 2006, at 23:37:50
Maybe later on tonight after I have gotten some sleep or tomorrow I can try to find some websites. I am on a weird schedule right now. Peace
Tanzanite
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Relationships | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.