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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Judith22 on January 26, 2006, at 21:56:03
I'm jsut wondering because It seems like I'm meeting a lot of guys online who just want sex and I feel like giving in, but I'm not gonna! The only way I will is if 1.) we meet in a public place first. 2.) We get to know each other. 3.) He is completely clear with me that sex is the only thing he wants. None of that, I hope we stay friends crap, it just messes up my emotions and gets mea attached. 4.) I am absolutely certain that he doesn't have stds. How can one becertain of something like that?
Posted by Susan47 on January 26, 2006, at 23:30:02
In reply to Would you have sex without b-ing in a relationshi?, posted by Judith22 on January 26, 2006, at 21:56:03
There's no way to be certain.
Posted by alexandra_k on January 27, 2006, at 6:27:37
In reply to Re: Would you have sex without b-ing in a relationshi?, posted by Susan47 on January 26, 2006, at 23:30:02
make sure he uses a condom properly and it won't matter if he does...
Posted by sunny10 on January 27, 2006, at 7:13:28
In reply to Re: Would you have sex without b-ing in a relationshi?, posted by alexandra_k on January 27, 2006, at 6:27:37
genital warts aren't always on the shaft, thus covered by the condom...
there really isn't any way to be absolutely certain.
That's why the hue and cry these days is for sex only within a relationship- because you have to be able to trust your partner when they say they've been checked out by a doc.
It's all a crap shoot. Gotta say, though, knowing what I do, I've been known to be a gambler...
Posted by alexandra_k on January 27, 2006, at 17:26:56
In reply to Re: Would you have sex without b-ing in a relationshi?, posted by sunny10 on January 27, 2006, at 7:13:28
> That's why the hue and cry these days is for sex only within a relationship-
Ah. I thought that was because of a fundamentalist religious agenda ;-)
> genital warts aren't always on the shaft, thus covered by the condom...
I'll take your word for it.
I guess thats fairly nasty... But... It isn't really on a par with HIV or something like that... Is it a different form of the ordinary wart virus do ya know, or is it just a matter of where the warts grow...
?
Hmm.
Posted by sunny10 on January 30, 2006, at 8:18:08
In reply to Re: Would you have sex without b-ing in a relationshi? » sunny10, posted by alexandra_k on January 27, 2006, at 17:26:56
it's just the same garden variety herpes simplex something-or-other...
I was trying to leave religion out of it entirely
; )
Posted by alexandra_k on February 5, 2006, at 19:06:01
In reply to Re: Would you have sex without b-ing in a relationshi? » alexandra_k, posted by sunny10 on January 30, 2006, at 8:18:08
well i just checked this thread...
to see whether i had said 'no'
(which i think rationally is the best bet)
to see whether i was a bit fat hypocrite or not...
but seems i didn't commit myself
lolstill... who cares if i am a hypocrite...
i wish the answer was no.
i do.
i don't know what is wrong with me sometimes... oh yeah... lonliness. i see...no strings... no strings is hard though.
because you don't exactly talk about that beforehand.
typically
and even if you do you can't exactly commit yourself to how you are going to feel in the mornings
and people can't be believed.i met someone.
he is cute
but we don't have a lot in common...
he comes to visit.
sigh.
he is cute...
but other people are starting to think we are a 'cute couple'and we aren't a couple.
sigh.
i hope i don't / haven't / won't be hurting him...
i thin kthat is why the answer is 'no'
(or should be rationally considered)
in my case anyway...
everyone needs to work it out for them
but for me...
hurts
it always seems to lead to one being more attached and the other being less attached
and even if you power on trying to play the game 'rationally considered' of taking it for what it is
the person who is more attached will feel hurt and used and resentful and will lash out
leading to hurt and feeling used and resentment all around
or something
i don' tknow
just despairing in general perhaps...still...
i don't know
he is cute
but... it would never work.
er... what is an acceptable age difference these days?
(working within the law here, working within the law)
Posted by sunny10 on February 6, 2006, at 8:41:03
In reply to Re: Would you have sex without b-ing in a relationshi?, posted by alexandra_k on February 5, 2006, at 19:06:01
as long as both people are okay with the age difference.
Whether "society" likes it or not, a relationship is between two people. As long as both are happy, anything goes.
Posted by TexasChic on February 7, 2006, at 21:31:49
In reply to Re: Would you have sex without b-ing in a relationshi?, posted by alexandra_k on February 5, 2006, at 19:06:01
>Would you have sex without b-ing in a relationship?
Heck yeah! But this is a fairly recent attitude change for me, so I don't really have any life experience on the subject. alexandra_k made some good points. And as super sensitive as I am, I probably would get attached in spite of myself. But that's better than sitting around doing nothing. At least I'd be getting sex!
>er... what is an acceptable age difference these days?
I used to think age mattered, but I don't now. Its nothing but a double standard. I've also come to find that maturity doesn't actually correspond with age. I've met some very mature younger guys, and idiotically immature older ones. Plus, in my experience the younger generation is much more open and tolerant than the one I grew up in, which matches my personality better.
-T
Posted by TexasChic on February 7, 2006, at 21:49:33
In reply to Would you have sex without b-ing in a relationshi?, posted by Judith22 on January 26, 2006, at 21:56:03
I forgot I wanted to say something about this:
>... am absolutely certain that he doesn't have stds. How can one be certain of something like that?
I guess you really can't. I suppose you would need to at least know the guy well enough that you have a little trust in him. Then of course use a condom, and be careful - no 'spillage' should come in contact with your skin (including orally). Although HIV is of course beyond scary, my bigger fear (for some reason) is herpes. I think you can get that even with a condom, like genital warts.
Man, why can't sex just be sex! It sucks that you have to constantly worry about catching something. The universe is obviously punishing us.
-T
Posted by Kath on February 12, 2006, at 17:48:02
In reply to Re: Would you have sex without b-ing in a relationshi?, posted by alexandra_k on January 27, 2006, at 6:27:37
sometimes. My daughter got pregnant as a result. It's pretty important to know that it can happen for a condom to break.
Kath
This is the end of the thread.
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