Shown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by octopusprime on October 27, 2005, at 4:51:43
I had the following situation happen to me last night.
I was at work all day. My husband had just moved to the country and does not have a work visa, so even though he desperately wants to work, he cannot. He was also on day 4 of withdrawal from marijuana, which was much more readily available/socially acceptable in the mother country than it is in the usa.
He was having trouble dealing with the situation so he got drunk and visited a friend of his and got stoned. However he did not replenish his home supply of pot.
By the time he returned home he was a mess - crying, curled up in child's pose on the floor, pacing, etc. He was drunk and high and freaking out.
So I cut one of my klonopins in half and gave it to him. He calmed down in 30 minutes to an hour (go klonopin!). I sliced up some extra pills for him and told him to use them (instead of getting drunk and high) if he is feeling anxious.
Anyway I am not talking the klonopin right now as I have not been rigorous with birth control and the drug is known to cause birth defects. So I have them lying around and I am not using them for myself as prescribed.
He talks a lot about nervousness and social anxiety. He has described incidents to me that sound like panic attacks. Knowing what I know about mental health, I figure he could benefit from a doctor and a prescription for something to help with his anxiety. However, he has been self-medicating with pot for so many years, and he figures it works well for him, so why stop. I don't want him to get kicked out of the country, and he can't take it on trips when we fly or cross the border, so I'd prefer a legal alternative to deal with anxiety (and I don't care too much one way or another otherwise).
However he is suspicious of doctors and pills. He took the pill I gave him because he was in a bad state, but I'd rather he didn't get to the bad state.
I know, get him to see a doctor, don't share your prescriptions, blah blah blah. In reality it is much easier to just give him the klonopin. We have excellent health insurance, so that's not the issue. The issue is his mental block.
I had some passing guilt about drugging my husband when he was being difficult. I only wanted to help him and make him feel better.
He trusts that I have his best interests at heart (and I do), so he took the pill and agreed that if he needed to, he would take others in the future (but he has not yet done so)
Should I have done something else? Would you do something else? It just seems bad to be drugging him, the poor guy, but he's having such a hard time ...
Posted by med_empowered on October 27, 2005, at 9:47:39
In reply to drugging your husband, posted by octopusprime on October 27, 2005, at 4:51:43
don't feel bad. He has problems and there are very real issues (like staying in the country) that have to be considered here. Besides, you didn't force him or anything. Now..there was a time when I was younger that my parents FORCED me to take meds I hated: they'd stay and watch me take them, until one day I told them to go to hell. That kind of behavior is unacceptable. What you're doing is trying to substitute a relatively safe and legal solution for something that is safe, but illegal and could jeapordize your future with your husband. Good luck!
Posted by Shortelise on October 27, 2005, at 13:16:51
In reply to drugging your husband, posted by octopusprime on October 27, 2005, at 4:51:43
Does your husband speak the language?
I don't think you did anything "wrong". I had a nieghbour whose girlfriend broke up with her, and who went nuts with anxiety. I gave her a few off my klonopin until she could get to her doc, who she told what I had done and her doc gave her more!! She literally could not stay still - I hadn't seen anyone in such bad shape since I was in hospital.
Not working is hard, esp for a man who might define himself according to the work he does, or who has worked all of his life and just plain doesn't know what to do with himself. Try to find some volunteeer work he can do, with the food bank maybe. Get him working! Can he build you a deck? Renovate the garage? Fix your parents' car? Design the house you'll build someday?
And remember exercise. It's the great stress reliever. Do you have a community center where he could strike up a basketball game?
Good luck with this. I've been through this is a different way, and I know how very painful it can be.
ShortE
Posted by JenStar on October 27, 2005, at 15:17:22
In reply to drugging your husband, posted by octopusprime on October 27, 2005, at 4:51:43
hi Octopusprime,
I don't think there's anything morally wrong with what you did - giving him the Klonopin.But like you said (or I think you did!), getting him to visit a Dr. and get his OWN prescription is really better, because then he can legally use it and travel with it, and if anyone stops him for any reason and finds it, he can't get in trouble.
Maybe you could convince him to go to the Dr. "for you" and just get the prescription, even if he doesn't "believe" in it? Tell him that you feel better having a little stockpile of the pills just in case? Tell him that he doesn't have to take them, but it's nice to have a supply ready just in case you or he wants/needs them?
I don't think that marijuana is morally wrong either, and I believe it should be legalized. BUT...since it is not legal yet...he could definitely jeopardize his ability to get a work visa if he was found out. It might be best to stay away from it (if he can), and switch to something legal.
Maybe if he takes a Kl. now and then, and sees that they DO work, he will slowly become more accustomed to it, and will be less resistant to the idea of Dr.'s and his own prescription.
Good luck! I hope the visa comes thru OK and that his stress level decreases soon.
JenStar
Can you show him research proving that the Kl. and other drugs really do work, and don't have any terrible side effects?
Posted by Happyflower on October 30, 2005, at 16:45:16
In reply to Re: drugging your husband » octopusprime, posted by JenStar on October 27, 2005, at 15:17:22
I would like to drug my husband with some Viagra!!!!! lol or arsenic!
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Relationships | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.