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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by kerria on September 13, 2005, at 9:09:18
i hate myself- the way i am and there nothing- there's absolutely NOTHING i can do to change.tears. It's so frustrating, understatement- to think i'm a little kid when my H is home but to love him like an adult now that he's gone to work. and to be so hurt and angry with myself for being the way i am.
My T can't help - everything is wrong with my life all the time. i'm never the right one for the relationship. the wrong part always come to prevent me from ever having any good relationships IRL. my marriage is wrecked- it's been over in reality for a long time. my h doesn't divorce me because he doesn't want to spend the money. Everything is so hopeless about getting better. Everything is so wrong. i'm fractured in a bunch of different pieces and each one makes any relationships impossible and i can't do anything to make it better. Even my relationship with T is so wrecked and that was my only hope out of it. i hate myself so much.
tears,
c.
Posted by 64bowtie on September 21, 2005, at 4:53:40
In reply to i hate the way i am:(, posted by kerria on September 13, 2005, at 9:09:18
You really need a hug...
((((((((((kerria)))))))))),
Can you locate the feelings surrounding your internal torment and conflict??? Do you feel expectations that are not being met??? Do you feel obligated in ways you can't live up to??? Aren't these only opinions??? Do you own these opinions???
If I quoted the Roman, Epictitus, who pointed out, "The Few (rich & powerful) control the many (us) by opinion!" Don't you see or feel that those around us that are afraid of us might try to control us 'by opinion' toooo???
So, are these (negative) opinions yours or someone elses??? Also, what are the consequences of ignoring the opinions of these nasty and meddling un-friends and un-loving loved ones??? Isn't the absence of all that stress you're putting yourself through, worth something???
You are worth more to yourself than all this pain... Trust that we have all been there from time to time, and that we made it and you will toooo...
Rod
Posted by Declan on September 26, 2005, at 16:41:24
In reply to i hate the way i am:(, posted by kerria on September 13, 2005, at 9:09:18
It's really difficult to change your circumstances and even more difficult to change yourself. But you can accept yourself and read. I only mention this because it's what I do. (Neither very well)
I've just been reading W.G.Sebald....it's about the real world, but the sense conveyed is of a slow moving holocaust of which we are all a part. And then there's King Lear and Four Quartets. I read them so much I know half of them by heart. And then there's music.I knew an 80 yo woman who, after a couple of strokes lost the power of speech and was reduced to holding a child's toy all day sitting in a room in a terrible old people's home place that smelt of excrement. After a couple of years she said just one thing: 'Life's not all it's cracked up to be'.
We all agreed, grateful for some light relief.
Declan
This is the end of the thread.
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