![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 20 to 44 of 44. Go back in thread:
Posted by Deneb on June 6, 2005, at 13:26:29
In reply to Good thing I saw this before I left! Whew. (nm) » Deneb, posted by Susan47 on June 6, 2005, at 12:06:14
Posted by Susan47 on June 6, 2005, at 13:52:16
In reply to Re: Me too! (((sunny10)))..(((Susan47))) (nm) » Susan47, posted by Deneb on June 6, 2005, at 13:26:29
Posted by AuntieMel on June 6, 2005, at 14:23:05
In reply to All mailed off, keep my faith in snailmail (nm), posted by Susan47 on June 6, 2005, at 13:52:16
Posted by sunny10 on June 7, 2005, at 17:21:20
In reply to Good thing I saw this before I left! Whew. (nm) » Deneb, posted by Susan47 on June 6, 2005, at 12:06:14
hard to find the words to respond to each of you seperately.
I really HAD put things in place because I knew I was falling deep this time, but I guess I didn't get far enough along in the therapies before I just completely came undone...I really Needed meds, but I was in denial...
I was SO not MYSELF that I cannot even remember anything that happened 'til i woke up in the treatment center... I keep TRYING to remember, but I can't... apparently I OD'd and THEN (afraid of confrontation sunny10) even assaulted a policewoman and a nurse at the ER !!!! I can't remember it, but the depositions from my 302 (involuntary 72 hr containment in a mental health facility) says that this is so... from the police write up AND my friend from childhood who was called to help get me into the hospital!
When I became lucid, I signed in voluntarily for a period of up to twenty days... it just didn't take that long for the meds to start working, so they let me go after just 7 days- knowing that I already HAD two therapists in place. They just added a pdoc for me to use for follow up med cks.
So now I am home...
And more good news- I DID get the pet deposit back from my landlord and used it to buy a new home computer... I am typing to you all from home right now and now have access to my babblemail again!!! Regrets to all whom wrote to me for not being able to respond...
And better STILL, the rental agent managed to get the old house re-rented by july 1, so the landlord actually gave me back the last month's rent!!! He defnitely didn't HAVE to- it was purely in the spirit of kindness... Sometimes the power of human kindness overwhelms me!!!
I Have to go for now- i have an appointment this evening with my T.
I love you all... your well wishes and kind thoughts very obviously made their way to me- otherwise i wouldn't be home right now to type this to you !!!!
kisses to one and all,
sunny10
Posted by Larry Hoover on June 7, 2005, at 17:39:29
In reply to Re: I love you all so much that it is (trigger), posted by sunny10 on June 7, 2005, at 17:21:20
Posted by anastasia56 on June 7, 2005, at 18:32:01
In reply to Re: I love you all so much that it is (trigger), posted by sunny10 on June 7, 2005, at 17:21:20
Posted by Dinah on June 7, 2005, at 19:13:24
In reply to Re: I love you all so much that it is (trigger), posted by sunny10 on June 7, 2005, at 17:21:20
It sounds as if there are some good things happening for you right now. Maybe it will start a trend. I've got my fingers and toes crossed.
Posted by partlycloudy on June 7, 2005, at 20:12:27
In reply to Re: I love you all so much that it is (trigger), posted by sunny10 on June 7, 2005, at 17:21:20
Posted by Susan47 on June 7, 2005, at 23:10:13
In reply to Re: I love you all so much that it is (trigger), posted by sunny10 on June 7, 2005, at 17:21:20
From the facility, you'll be having mail delivered. Maybe give them a call and make sure they forward it to you.
I'm glad you're feeling better, your meds are already working, that's wonderful.
Posted by sunny10 on June 8, 2005, at 7:46:41
In reply to Fabulous, I hope they forward your mail!, posted by Susan47 on June 7, 2005, at 23:10:13
Doesn't matter whether they do forward the snail mail or NOT... I already read the wonderful things here!
Thanks!
I'll have to make a phone call to my pdoc or case worker today, though... the risperdal is now actually keeping me UP all night instead of stopping the racing thoughts so that I can sleep. My thoughts AREN'T racing, but I never quite fell completely asleep...
The first two nights on it, I slept fine (although I was also still coming off of sedation!), the third night it took at least an hour to fall asleep, the fourth night it took about three hours to fall asleep, and then last night I didn't sleep at all.
I DID tell the "nurse" at the desk to ask my pdoc there to contact me regarding the risperdal, but that was yesterday and it just got forgotten I guess (by all of us) because they sent me home...
But I am determined to advocate for myself... It is 8:41 now... at 9 they start their first meetings of the day, so the front desk staff should be less busy. I will call and leave a message for my pdoc and/or caseworker to call my cell as soon as possible so that I can ask if I can go OFF the Risperdal...
My appt for the "outpatient" pdoc isn't until next Tuesday, and I am unwilling to get sleep deprived again!
Okay, enough complaining... just tired this morning...
Hugs to all,
sunny10
Posted by AuntieMel on June 8, 2005, at 9:14:41
In reply to Re: Fabulous, I hope they forward your mail!, posted by sunny10 on June 8, 2005, at 7:46:41
Posted by Susan47 on June 8, 2005, at 10:53:07
In reply to Re: Fabulous, I hope they forward your mail!, posted by sunny10 on June 8, 2005, at 7:46:41
Oh yes, Sunny, you may have read them here, but I must say that seeing them on paper, gathered together, is another experience entirely. For me. I wonder if you'll see it the same way.. it was just more poignant somehow. If they don't call back I'd keep hounding, I'd ask them to page the doctor because you need sleep TONIGHT. You're not going back on the treadmill that put you in there in the first place. They'll understand that.
Posted by TamaraJ on June 8, 2005, at 14:47:03
In reply to Re: I love you all so much that it is (trigger), posted by sunny10 on June 7, 2005, at 17:21:20
Posted by sleepygirl on June 8, 2005, at 20:24:07
In reply to Well-wishers for Sunny10: Now, please, posted by Susan47 on June 4, 2005, at 18:16:06
Posted by Damos on June 8, 2005, at 21:28:05
In reply to Re: I love you all so much that it is (trigger), posted by sunny10 on June 7, 2005, at 17:21:20
((((((((((Sunny))))))))))
Just seeing your tag was enough to make me cry. Damn it, too worked up by it to say anything really.
Just take good care of you precious girl, just take good care of you.
Posted by Larry Hoover on June 9, 2005, at 9:04:22
In reply to Re: Fabulous, I hope they forward your mail!, posted by sunny10 on June 8, 2005, at 7:46:41
> The first two nights on it, I slept fine (although I was also still coming off of sedation!), the third night it took at least an hour to fall asleep, the fourth night it took about three hours to fall asleep, and then last night I didn't sleep at all.
>
> I DID tell the "nurse" at the desk to ask my pdoc there to contact me regarding the risperdal, but that was yesterday and it just got forgotten I guess (by all of us) because they sent me home...Yoo-hoooo-oooo.....Sunny....
How did the med thing go?
This is not good, the progression you describe. It could be that all you needed was a one-night stand with Risperdal. A re-set, so to speak. This move to total insomnia is not okay.
What's happening?
Thinking of you.
Lar
Posted by sunny10 on June 9, 2005, at 11:11:59
In reply to Re: Fabulous, I hope they forward your mail! » sunny10, posted by Larry Hoover on June 9, 2005, at 9:04:22
First, stop it, Damos, you're making me cry now... Oh, never mind, don't stop, the T says it's good for me to "feel my feelings" instead of trying to be "perfect" all of the time...
The risperdal thing was resolved (in the doc's mind) by her ADDING a half mg... She told me to give it two nights and let her know if I still am not sleeping. No, I did not sleep last night... Maybe tonight?!? I'm not so sure it ever worked, really... I had OD'd on Clonazepam and then they SEDATED me in the ER! I probably slept the first two nights because all of those sedatives were still in my system! But, I promised to give it two nights and it's only been one... sigh.
And stranger still, when we spoke about the meds she proceeded to BLOW my mind by telling me that someone had called asking that the doc release records and information on my current condition... Guess who?!? Drum roll, please...
MY MOTHER- who actually told the truth to the doc about the fact that we hadn't spoken in twenty years (okay, eighteen, but who's counting...)Of course I told the doc that I did NOT want her to release records or information; if she had wanted to actually care about me, she had the last twenty years to do so...
Dealing with HER on top of everything right now just might send me right off the deep end...
But on a positive note, after 37 years, I received validation from my brother about how our mother treated us. Apparently he was cursing her to my friend Jen (the smart one who petitioned to commit me, thank goodness). He was using swear words aimed at our mother for not caring enough to deal with my depression from the start (when I was 16-17 I attempted suicide, too). When I spoke directly to him, he said that he understands why I won't speak to her without her at least acknowledging how she emotionally abused and neglected us- he said that she "is convinced that she was a great mother just because she put a roof over our heads and food in our bellies", he went on to say that he now lives "with a great mom", his wife. "Meg puts the bulk of the income into our household, too, but she hugs and kisses our son, she reads to him, she takes him to the park, she giggles with him, et cetera... because THAT's love- THAT's what mothering is", "She resented each one of us for even being conceived and treated us accordingly".
You could have blown me over with a feather. That it took HIM 42 years to tell someone how HE felt about how we were raised.
Wow... it sure has been a STRANGE two weeks...
With both good parts and bad...
Posted by Damos on June 9, 2005, at 17:15:36
In reply to Re: Everyone..., posted by sunny10 on June 9, 2005, at 11:11:59
Sorry Sunny, I'll try to be good. Can you believe I never used to cry at all, must be making up for lost time.
Hmmm, this not sleeping isn't good hopefully it'll right itself tonight.
Omigod, wow, you're kidding, unbelievable. Your mother really did that. Hope she stays the h*ll away for the time being at least.
And your brother, double wow. That musta been a major spinout for you to hear that, like you'd slipped into an alternate reality or something where everything you've thought, felt and done was suddenly validated. That's major. Girl you sure know how to cram a lot into a two week period.
XOXOXO
Damos
Posted by AdaGrace on June 10, 2005, at 8:57:28
In reply to Re: Everyone..., posted by sunny10 on June 9, 2005, at 11:11:59
Sunny.......I am happy to see you post. It's been hard, wondering what happened and not knowing. I guess that is why I fought the closeness with SAW when she was having trouble. See my idea of how to deal with someone leaving is to never get too close. Yet my heart, the heart I keep saying is empty, that heart still feels. And I think that is survival. In other words Sunny, I can't not care. It isn't in me. So, I am very glad that you are better, and hopefully fast on your way to "you" again. Thanks for being a friend to me, and I just hope I can give you as much back as you gave me.
Best Wishes,
AdaGrace
Posted by sunny10 on June 10, 2005, at 10:03:20
In reply to Re: Everyone... » sunny10, posted by Damos on June 9, 2005, at 17:15:36
And triple WOW, you understood COMPLETELY what I was thinking and feeling!!!
Maybe my communication skills are coming back?!?!
Hopefully... I only got about 3 hrs of deep sleep last night- I will probably have to call the doctor again today- she won't be available over the weekend in order for me to give the new dosage more time... I 'm a little afraid of going back to work on Monday sleep-deprived!
Posted by sunny10 on June 10, 2005, at 10:06:46
In reply to Re: Everyone... » sunny10, posted by AdaGrace on June 10, 2005, at 8:57:28
Yeah, I know what you mean about not wanting to get too close.... but you do the same thing that I do... We both only let a small few in- and most times, it is someone that we shouldn't have let in at all!!
I love you too, sweetie. I know you didn't SAY that, but your sentiment did. And loving people can be a good thing, too, sometimes. I promise not to have sex with you and than break your heart at least (wink)
Feeling your best wishes, and thank you for them,
sunny10
Posted by AdaGrace on June 10, 2005, at 10:17:02
In reply to Re: Everyone... » AdaGrace, posted by sunny10 on June 10, 2005, at 10:06:46
YOU ARE TOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!
I see you there, snickering, wondering if I get it.....
She's Back!!!!!!!
Posted by sunny10 on June 10, 2005, at 10:27:45
In reply to Re: LOL, She's Back!!!!! » sunny10, posted by AdaGrace on June 10, 2005, at 10:17:02
wasn't wondering at all- I didn't say anything that you didn't already know!!!!!
kisses,
sunny10
Posted by anastasia56 on June 10, 2005, at 16:12:47
In reply to Re: LOL, She's Back!!!!! » AdaGrace, posted by sunny10 on June 10, 2005, at 10:27:45
i'm so glad you got validation from your brother. That is HUGE! when my brother gave me validation of our childhood i cried non-stop and then started therapy the next week. It allowed a floodgate of emotions to open. Hoping the same for you (((((sunny))))
ana
Posted by sunny10 on June 12, 2005, at 14:17:39
In reply to Re: LOL, She's Back!!!!!, posted by anastasia56 on June 10, 2005, at 16:12:47
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Relationships | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.