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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on May 13, 2005, at 18:38:23
My husband and I have been together for twentyfive years + now, I think.
We get along fine for the most part. He tends to be a bit more parental than I'd prefer. He'd probably say I'm a bit more irresponsible than he'd prefer. But overall it's not a bad relationship.
He prefers to skate the surface, though. And I might prefer a bit more emotional intimacy. Should I just give up on that desire, knowing that if I wanted a guy who enjoyed emotional intimacy I should have married one?
We have a great time together. I love his sense of humor. We can watch TV together and laugh together. He always makes watching TV such fun because his laugh is so infectious. He also makes me laugh with grammar humor, and with pertinent TV and movie quotes. He enjoys watching the Game Show Network and impressing me with his knowledge. And I don't mind that at all. I am genuinely impressed.
It's not a bad marriage. Maybe I should just leave it alone.
I sometimes wonder if too much honesty would just sink our marriage...
Posted by anastasia56 on May 13, 2005, at 19:08:33
In reply to Anyone know any good relationship books?, posted by Dinah on May 13, 2005, at 18:38:23
if you can laugh together you are very lucky.
the way you describe him and the things you love about him sound like the attributes many women only dream of finding in a relationship. my father had a good sense of humor and we all loved that. it was his saving grace as he wasn't a lot of other things.
it sounds like you two have so much fun together. you value his qualities and it's so nice to hear that you recognize them...so many people don't value what they have in front of them. i'm done preaching now but i am very happy for you.ana
Posted by Dinah on May 13, 2005, at 20:35:53
In reply to Re: Anyone know any good relationship books?, posted by anastasia56 on May 13, 2005, at 19:08:33
Yeah, you're right. It's impossible to find all the qualities you need in one person. I'm very grateful that we can and do laugh together, that he's responsible, a great dad in most ways, and cute besides.
:-)
Posted by sunny10 on May 17, 2005, at 9:34:37
In reply to Re: Anyone know any good relationship books? » anastasia56, posted by Dinah on May 13, 2005, at 20:35:53
It sound like he is a great guy that you need more intimacy with.
There IS a book out there (you will only have a need for a small portion of it) that talks abouts how to bring changes that you need into your relationship. It's called something like "How One of You Can Bring the Two of You Together"...
It basically states that just by changing how WE relate to our spouses, lovers, whoever (written for men AND women, by the way... it's not always women who need the chnages) in certain situations will automatically re-write the "script" that we fall into. If we keep acting the same way, so will they. If we do or say something different for a change, they can't respond the same way- they have to change their responses, thus you get the changes you need.... that's the premise anyway...
And I have to say that it seems to be working for me so far.... I change the way I react to my SO. And the relationship WILL change- one way or the other... For me it's because I refuse to be a doormat.
For you, you just need a little intimacy- the book covers that, too!!
Good luck!
Posted by jay on May 19, 2005, at 20:53:11
In reply to Anyone know any good relationship books?, posted by Dinah on May 13, 2005, at 18:38:23
Hi Dinah...
I just wanted to add...there are many, many 'pop' psychology books out there by people who supposedly have their "Ph.D" (usually from some unacredited school), and you get the Dr. Laura's..and that ilk. Look for authors with connections to big and popular schools...heck I'd send you along a number of my social work therapy and counselling books which teach a lot at a very credible level. It's not rocket science. People really should be amazed at how easy most Psychotherapies are, but you just need a teacher who knows their stuff well.
Anyways...good luck...
Best,
Jay
Posted by sunny10 on May 20, 2005, at 12:13:32
In reply to Beware of 'pop' psychology... » Dinah, posted by jay on May 19, 2005, at 20:53:11
Posted by ron1953 on June 2, 2005, at 13:19:41
In reply to Anyone know any good relationship books?, posted by Dinah on May 13, 2005, at 18:38:23
Dinah:
THE best relationship books I've read are by "Harville Hendrix", especially "Getting the Love You Want"
Ron
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on June 3, 2005, at 22:19:18
In reply to Anyone know any good relationship books?, posted by Dinah on May 13, 2005, at 18:38:23
>you get the Dr. Laura's...
Ya, you wanna stay away from that Dr. Laura Dinah ;)
>It's not rocket science.
Actually, I'm sure I've seen some in large print.. you should be fine.
Posted by crazyteresa on June 22, 2005, at 2:21:01
In reply to Re: Anyone know any good relationship books? » Dinah, posted by ron1953 on June 2, 2005, at 13:19:41
Changes That Heal by Henry Cloud absolutely changed my life! In my opinion, each person on earth should have to read this book and pass a test on it to be allowed into society! ;~}
It helps you stand up for yourself, say no, stay within your boundries and let others' choices belong to them (even if they're not what you like), and understand why this is all so vital in any healthy relationship. He teaches that it is NOT my job to keep every one happy, nor is this possible. How freeing is that?
There is a book and a workbook. You don't need the workbook unless you're doing a group study. It is writen in very understandable language with excellent examples from his practice.
I have done 2 group studies on this book (taught the 2nd); I recommend it every chance I get, and am still waiting on the chance to jam it down my mother-in-law's throat....
I can't say enough about how it has changed the way I live my life.
crazy t
Posted by Dr. Bob on June 25, 2005, at 12:43:36
In reply to Re: Anyone know any good relationship books?, posted by crazyteresa on June 22, 2005, at 2:21:01
> Changes That Heal by Henry Cloud absolutely changed my life!
I'd just like to plug the double double quotes feature at this site:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#amazon
The first time anyone refers to a book, movie, or music without using this option, I post this to try to make sure he or she at least knows about it. It's just an option, though, and doesn't *have* to be used. If people *choose* not to use it, I'd be interested why not, but I'd like that redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20020918/msgs/7717.html
Thanks!
Bob
Posted by crazyteresa on June 26, 2005, at 22:02:28
In reply to Re: double double quotes » crazyteresa, posted by Dr. Bob on June 25, 2005, at 12:43:36
This is the end of the thread.
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