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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by alesta on May 8, 2005, at 17:24:04
and i feel pretty panicky/shaky. i called him 2 days ago for the first time since i had left him. i had left him a message about coming to get my stuff. well, he called back today..i said "hello, how are you." and he goes "i'm fine, how about your f$%$$ing self?" he then just starts yelling about me and f this and f that for like 5 minutes..why didn't i f-ing call and where the f was i..(we had broken up..i don't know why he was saying that..but it's typical of him..) finally i pulled the phone away from my ear while he yelled..then he would alternate to a softness in his voice that didn't help matters either. i don't feel too good after the whole exchange..although i guess i should've expected it.
i have been putting off getting my stuff..i'm dreading it. i don't know quite how i'm going to handle it. i feel panicky right now. and just..not good..oh, it is not going to be fun going over there. god, i've lived a life of fear my whole life..if i ever find peace it would be amazing...thanks for listening..just needed to talk about it.:)
amy
Posted by Damos on May 8, 2005, at 17:38:22
In reply to just talked to my ex (the abusive drug user one), posted by alesta on May 8, 2005, at 17:24:04
Posted by anastasia56 on May 8, 2005, at 21:24:52
In reply to just talked to my ex (the abusive drug user one), posted by alesta on May 8, 2005, at 17:24:04
Posted by alesta on May 8, 2005, at 23:43:31
In reply to just talked to my ex (the abusive drug user one), posted by alesta on May 8, 2005, at 17:24:04
Posted by alexandra_k on May 9, 2005, at 4:41:45
In reply to just talked to my ex (the abusive drug user one), posted by alesta on May 8, 2005, at 17:24:04
Hmm.
When you go get your stuff it might be a good idea to take some people with you.
Preferably some people who will appear intimidating to someone such as him...
If he is going to yell at you over the phone like that then he may well try intimidation tactics if you go in person.
Do you have a couple of people who can go with you?
Some people who can remain calm and just tell him to keep his mouth shut if he starts up?
Sounds like you are much better off far away from there....
Posted by sunny10 on May 9, 2005, at 8:51:22
In reply to Re: just talked to my ex (the abusive drug user one) » alesta, posted by alexandra_k on May 9, 2005, at 4:41:45
do you absolutely need "your stuff"???
I have "left my stuff behind" a few times and it was definitely worth it....
But if you can't leave your stuff behind, absolutely have people come with you to collect it-do not go by yourself, please.
(((((((((amy))))))))))))))))
Posted by alesta on May 9, 2005, at 11:26:56
In reply to Re: just talked to my ex (the abusive drug user one), posted by sunny10 on May 9, 2005, at 8:51:22
alex, sunny, i know, i wish i didn't need to get my things, but i have important documents over there, things on my computer that i need, etc., etc. (i do know i could still survive w/out my things..)
i am so dreading this. the effort of moving is bad enough. but seeing my ex, the dogs..the whole thing is gonna suck. i will be so relieved when it's over. i know there is an element of danger to me going over there (he bought a gun 2 months ago for reasons i am not entirely clear on), but i doubt he would hurt me at this juncture..just i feeling i get. i'm not even sure i would care if he did, to be honest. oops..did i say that? maybe i'd better stop posting my thoughts so openly around here..y'all are gonna think i'm nuts. (suicidal maybe, not nuts..:)) uh...all the pressure!!!!
plus, yes, i am taking my mom with me..she can be pretty intimidating, LOL. he's met his match with her! i'll update this thread when i get back guys.
ain't life just peachy! mwuh! kisses..amy;)
Posted by alesta on May 9, 2005, at 13:30:21
In reply to just talked to my ex (the abusive drug user one), posted by alesta on May 8, 2005, at 17:24:04
hi again,
hope i'm not boring y'all with the details..
i just called my ex on the phone to ask when i could come get my things. he said later in the week would actually be better. he was really nice on the phone..couldn't have been sweeter. i know it wasn't an act..i know deep down he's hurt. i don't have romantic feelings for him anymore (worked through those while we were still together..distancing myself gradually so i could leave), but i really appreciate the fact that he's not just turning cold on me..that he's still acting like he had something vested in me, and it means a lot. (when i broke up w/ another ex 5 years ago, it was a very different scenario..)
i know everything will be fine when i go over there later in the week. i'm not forgetting how horrible he's been to me..there was very little 'sweetness' to him usually..but i really do appreciate the way we are breaking up. it's one of those defining moments..ok, i gotta stop talking about him to protect my psyche..:) thanks much for reading..amy
Posted by sunny10 on May 9, 2005, at 13:40:34
In reply to things are cool w/ ex, posted by alesta on May 9, 2005, at 13:30:21
as everyone keeps cautioning ME; remember that he was probably "nice" on the phone today because he wasn't high.
Even though he sounded much nicer, still bring Mom when you go get your stuff- he may not be sober then...If he truly is upset that you guys are really over, he will probably attempt to "self-medicate" in order to "deal with" seeing you collect your things.
best of luck- you have my fondest wishes- let us know how it goes- you are NOT boring us with this stuff!!!!!
Posted by alesta on May 9, 2005, at 15:15:52
In reply to Re: things are cool w/ ex, posted by sunny10 on May 9, 2005, at 13:40:34
thanks, sunny..i knew i was gonna hear it on that post, lol..:)
i know he wasn't high..he was always nice to me when he was high..it was when he came down that he was a total jerk..and i could hear it in his voice that he was sober.
it's just really important to me how a relationship ends, for some reason. and i feel like he gets that. i know don't want to go back to him and he knows i'm not coming back. it is just nice to feel like we're 2 ppl acknowledging that it didn't work, but we tried..i put that aura out of respect for that, and he's really good at picking up on that..he responded in kind and it's just nice. i'm not looking at him as a drug-abusing, misogynist jerk, but someone who has done their best. ok, now i'm getting depressed. better stop there.:)...aim:)
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