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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by alesta on May 4, 2005, at 15:44:03
hey y'all,
ok, i just started seeing this guy, and i've already managed to totally piss him off. it originated from a toxic misunderstanding, but i jumped to conclusions and got really accusational. i apologized but now he isn't talking to me, i think. i mean it's only been hours but i don't know what's going to happen. i am sad..everything is going wrong, as usual. i guess it's kind of hard to give advice with the info given, but if anyone has any let me know. man, i am in the bloody trenches right now..amy
Posted by Damos on May 4, 2005, at 19:43:25
In reply to when it rains, it freaking pours, posted by alesta on May 4, 2005, at 15:44:03
Slow down Amy, take a long slow deep breath in, let it out with a long slow sigh, now do it again, and again. Now try and let all the negative stuff about this missunderstanding go. You have so much going on in at the moment it understandable that you're not gonna be on top of your game right now so don't beat yourself up about it okay. He's probably just in "Whoa, what the h*ll was that all about mode." Amy you're juggling several chainsaws at the moment and that's enough. Please try not to let this be a live hand grenade you're trying to juggle as well. We men as a general rule aren't the brightest bunch when it comes to picking up on this sort of stuff let alone responding appropriately and you can pretty much forget as desired/required. We're men, what more can I say.
You just take care of you okay, that's more than enough for the moment and try and let the rest take care of itself.
Posted by sunny10 on May 5, 2005, at 8:04:24
In reply to Re: when it rains, it freaking pours » alesta, posted by Damos on May 4, 2005, at 19:43:25
I'm not sure if this is the case with you, but I find that I engage in "toxic misunderstandings" when I am bringing old angers/fears/triggers into new relationships.(No, I never realize this at the time of the misunderstanding, but when I related the entire to someone else, I found myself saying things like "It was just like when so-and-so did such-and-such to me".) I was sabotaguing every relationship by not letting the new person be him. I was making the new guy into a compilation of every other guy who hurt me- all the way back to good-ole dad...
Does that sound like something you do, too? If so,
I go to my first anger management therapy session today... I'll let you know how it goes...-sunny10
Posted by alesta on May 5, 2005, at 13:46:14
In reply to when it rains, it freaking pours, posted by alesta on May 4, 2005, at 15:44:03
thanks y'all..i just told him we weren't gonna see each other anymore..he was just really stark and brief and unemotional..he doesn't even care that we aren't..b/c he's preoccupied with another girl. this is what we fought about, and he tried to convince me it wasn't true. now i see that i was right after all, and to trust my instincts.
i now see that he is a jerk. doesn't even give a crap about my feelings. oh well, better for this to happen now than later..
amy:)
Posted by alesta on May 5, 2005, at 20:50:32
In reply to when it rains, it freaking pours, posted by alesta on May 4, 2005, at 15:44:03
his big argument is that i have "no right to tell him what to do" or "dictate his behavior".
so, according to this argument, if one partner is cheating on another, for instance, the partner being cheated on has no right to object. and say that it is wrong. and that they were hurt. and be upset. and that they won't tolerate it. because it is "dicating behavior". what a cop-out.
this is BS to the max.
thanks for letting me vent. no replies necessary (however, welcomed :)).
amy
Posted by sunny10 on May 6, 2005, at 9:42:52
In reply to got to vent...again » alesta, posted by alesta on May 5, 2005, at 20:50:32
yeah, that's the same line of BS my SO gave me when I dared to question his cocaine use and alcohol binges....
When does caring become dictating, anyway?!?!?!?
This is the end of the thread.
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