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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Susan47 on April 21, 2005, at 10:26:02
The kibbutzing, you know, when you just hear something funny on TV or something happens and your ability to just say what you're thinking and you can both laugh and joke about stuff. I miss that so incredibly much. The sense of being in something together, working for a common goal... your happiness, his happiness. I remember one counsellor I saw recently. I asked him what he enjoys, what his family likes. And you know what? He doesn't do stuff he enjoys, like going to concerts, because his wife doesn't do it with him. Or his family. I told him I thought that was really sad. People do that all the time, don't they? They give stuff up because they don't want to do it alone. They marry someone because they have so much in common. Then slowly it starts to slide, and nobody makes an effort anymore. I had to admire my ex-T. Because he went shopping with his wife even though he didn't enjoy it, I remember this, and she did. WHich would be hard to do, and if you didn't want to try anymore you wouldn't do it, you know? So people in marriage they sometimes don't want to try anymore, it isn't worth it, but it goes unspoken and slowly you just start to drift apart until finally there's only the little daily stuff that keeps you together, that plus the fear of divorce, losing what you think you have, the fear of being alone, of not being able to make your own life.
But I still miss the little moments, the times I want to joke or talk about stuff and there's no one there. I think I need to get into a position where I can see someone regularly.
Posted by Susan47 on April 21, 2005, at 16:19:55
In reply to What I Miss about Marriage, posted by Susan47 on April 21, 2005, at 10:26:02
Or not. I have to learn to be strong by myself, make connections with people regardless of their sex, somehow learn to meet those needs some other way. It's just so damn lonely being alone.
Posted by anastasia56 on April 22, 2005, at 18:33:11
In reply to Re: What I Miss about Marriage, posted by Susan47 on April 21, 2005, at 16:19:55
you seem like a friendly, outgoing individual here in babbleland. are you the same way IRL?
ana
Posted by akame on April 23, 2005, at 3:31:01
In reply to What I Miss about Marriage, posted by Susan47 on April 21, 2005, at 10:26:02
Yea, I know how it is to give up what you used to do for fun. What if your SO becomes impared w/ a psyc condition that makes it impossible to be alone but doesn't want to do your thing? We do everything together as conjoined twins and they don't seem to grasp the suffocating effects that the "oneness" percipatates. Right now being alone sounds pretty good!
Posted by Susan47 on April 23, 2005, at 11:48:04
In reply to Re: What I Miss about Marriage, posted by anastasia56 on April 22, 2005, at 18:33:11
Yes. Very much so, but when I'm depressed it's really hard, because I just want to cry all the time. That makes it harder. How about yourself?
Posted by Susan47 on April 23, 2005, at 11:49:26
In reply to Re: What I Miss about Marriage » Susan47, posted by akame on April 23, 2005, at 3:31:01
Yes, that's why I'm divorced for the second time. Yes, being alone does feel better. It's just.. lonely, you know? Is your SO functioning with a psychiatric condition? What is it?
This is the end of the thread.
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