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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Toph on February 9, 2005, at 15:57:10
Just curious, do you think we have a relationship with a concept? I mean we have relationships with each other here and some have a relationship with Bob, but do we have a relationship with Psycho Babble? Affection, dependency, does it take and give, does it feel pain? Am I nuts?
Toph
Posted by sunny10 on February 9, 2005, at 18:53:23
In reply to PB as SO, posted by Toph on February 9, 2005, at 15:57:10
I think you're exactly right, but don't let it make you think that you're cheating on your wife!! We have all kinds of "significant" relationships- and they don't have to be "in place of" a marriage!
I wish your wife would join us, too ! Although, in some ways, we are sort of like an interactive private journal in some ways, aren't we???
Posted by Toph on February 9, 2005, at 21:38:50
In reply to Re: PB as SO, posted by sunny10 on February 9, 2005, at 18:53:23
I tried to show her the site to dispell any fears that I was online dating or into porn or something. She wasn't interested. But I'm glad sunny because there are some things you tell your friends and other things you tell you lovers.
Another concept I wanted to marry was being normal. But she divorced me for irreconcilable differences. I also divorced wealth because she kept having an affair with selfish people. I'm separated from happiness, but we hang out together every now and then. My relationship with self-loathing appears that we will go to the grave together.
Toph
Posted by sunny10 on February 10, 2005, at 11:03:40
In reply to Re: PB as SO » sunny10, posted by Toph on February 9, 2005, at 21:38:50
sounds like you need to eradicate the self-loathing relationship... Once that's underway, the happiness one that you're separated from will probaly come back.
It is very difficult for happiness to live alongside of loathing...
My SO admitted to me that he was glad that I was working through my own self-esteem issues because he needed assurance that he would not have to supply the relationship energy by himself forever.
He admitted that during my low periods, I was extremely difficult to be around- very energy sapping for him- it brought him down, too.Granted, he had to promise me that he would work on HIS issues as well, 'cause I refused to give over all of MY newly-earned energy when he was acting like an alpha male jerk. He laughed, said I must be feeling better already, and promised also.
Didn't you say that "happiness" had her own issues, too? Is she working on them at this point? Do you guys talk about that when you get together?
Rooting for you on this one, Toph...
-sunny10
Posted by Toph on February 11, 2005, at 10:16:32
In reply to Re: PB as SO, posted by sunny10 on February 10, 2005, at 11:03:40
sunny, I'm grateful to you for your comments recently. It is probably one of the most important parts of a healthy relationship to be patient when the other is struggling through some concete problem or something psychological. My wife does have her own issues, mainly with her weight, the demands of her job, and her adjustment to her only daughter (my step-daughter) being off at college. She lost her father and she is acutely aware of the devestation a loss of her daughter would cause. Fortunatley Audra is an honor student and it is a good sign that my wife is allowing her to spend a year in school in Barcelona (though it did not come easily for her).
Even without much evidence, I get a sense that you are fortunate to have a good relationship with an understanding and caring companion.
Toph
Posted by sunny10 on February 11, 2005, at 12:47:28
In reply to Re: PB as SO, posted by Toph on February 11, 2005, at 10:16:32
yes, I am.
The story is SOOOOOOO long and very bizarre... maybe I'll give it a go and paste into a post on the Writing board for you sometime soon.
And, boy, your wife's "baby" is in Barcelona? Well, I guess I can see how anxious she might be right now...
I have faith in you, Toph. You are much too kind and caring of others to keep withholding that caring from yourself. You are a good man. You have a good heart. And, frankly, a romantic heart- an amazing gift to any and all women in your life, regardless of the type of relationship.
I'll write down the story for you sometime...
sunny10
Posted by Susan47 on February 11, 2005, at 15:31:15
In reply to Re: PB as SO, posted by sunny10 on February 11, 2005, at 12:47:28
Write it here, for all of us. Please?
This is the end of the thread.
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